An excellent speech Honkrade!
Reminds me of one from one of Giggles' ancestors:
"
Now is the winter of our honkcontent
Made glorious summer by this sun of Honk;
And all the clouds that lour'd upon our honk
In the deepest bosom of space belied.
Now are our brows bound with victorious slips;
Our bruised arms hung up for monuments;
Our stern alarums changed to merry meetings,
Our dreadful marches to squeaking measures.
Grim-slippaged war hath smooth'd his wrinkled horn;
And now, instead of mounting stolen janicarts
To fright the souls of fearful baldies,
He capers nimbly in the captain's chamber
To the lascivious pleasing of a horn.
But I, that am not shaped for sportive tricks,
Nor made to court an amorous looking-glass;
I, that am rudely stamp'd, and want love's majesty
To strut before a wanton ambling mime;
I, that am curtail'd of this fair proportion,
Cheated of feature by dissembling nature,
Deformed, honkfinish'd, sent before my time
Into this breathing space, scarce half made up,
And that so lamely and unfashionable
That vulps bark at me as I halt by them;
Why, I, in this weak piping time of peace,
Have no delight to pass away the time,
Unless to spy my shadow in the sun
And descant on mine own deformity:
And therefore, since I cannot prove a hero,
To entertain these fair well-spoken shifts,
I am determined to prove a villain
And hate the idle habits of these eves.
Pranks have I laid, inductions dangerous,
By drunken prophecies, libels and dreams,
To set my Captain and the HoS
In deadly hate the one against the other:
And if the Condom be as true and just
As I am subtle, false and treacherous,
This day should Captain closely be honk'd up,
About a prophecy, which says that 'CC'
Of Captain's heirs the murderer shall be.
Dive, thoughts, down to my soul: here
Captain comes. Ready the skins.
Earl Giggles the Third