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@Cadet @SomeGuy9283

Something I've always wanted to do was have people asking questions about (my) characters and then drawings up a reply with the character reacting, something like this: Cause I always thought they were fun, neat, and interesting. It's a fun way to learn about some characters that you might or rarely get the meet! List of Characters: Played Characters: Zeke Varloss (Skrell) Dreamy Rockwall (Slimeperson) R.A.B.B.I.T (IPC) NECROMANCER (IPC) Keyreehee (Vox) Calico Furrytail (Tajaran) Cali Ravenna (Skrell) Moofin De Montesquieu (Slimeperson) Melody Meadows (Slimeperson) PHANTASMIA (IPC) T3A-V4 (mimic IPC) FAERIE (IPC) Alistair Sslas (Unathi) Ariel Cullen (Human) Colleen Blake (Human) Benny Peaches (Slimeperson) Edward Anderson O'Connell (Human) Griselda Weber (Human) CC Navy Officer Aurcel Vasseal (Skrell) Not Played Characters: Sax (Corgi) Nurn'Kal (Ascendant) 400 years vintage lamp Because HereticChurch and I are basically the same person HereticChurch's Characters: Churchy (Slimeperson) Gloria Church (Human) Kia Avandeyev (Human) Katherine DeVries (Human) Jacques Varloss (Skrell) T.A.V.I (IPC) CC Director Sarah Bell (Human) CC Officer Emerald (Slimeperson) Syndicate Officer Cherry Bomb (Slimeperson) Because I basically take over other people's characters. <..< >..> Tully's Characters: Jonah Bright (Human) Comms Officer Jenkins (Human) List will probably go through some updates, either adding or removing characters. Now's your chance, ask all or any questions you want! Can be anything, what job do they do? What did they eat in the morning (how boring)? Anything goes! Kinda, in a PG setting. ASK AWAY!!

1. Introduction Hello! This thread contains a complete list of all guides currently on the forums. I amalgamated this list because: I found it irksome that decent guides which are still relevant were buried under lots of new threads; I wanted one place where you can see, at a glance, how to do a job; and that it would save people from having to write their own guide when one already exists. It will be updated as more guides appear, and kept up-to-date. Outdated guides have been noted as such, and have been kept for posterity. Huge thanks to Valkyrie, who updated this list to be in line with the new forum layout! 2. The list Antagonist guides Command guides Engineering guides Medical guides Science guides Security guides Service guides Supply guides AI / Cyborg guides Telecomms guides Non-serious guides Other guides 3. Closing thoughts Notice anything wrong? Any missing guides? Let me know in this thread! (Also, Tully's the biggest nerd, according to the guides forum. He's written nine guides so far!)

That was MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. That was a very neat round. x3

No bureaucrat is complete without Victorian level class! But why have that much style without a tea party to show it off at?

@Knightedskull

So I made a meth lab under the disguise of PATCH's patchs. It didn't get many customers, even though I had more the a full crate of 20u meth patchs. I also had other patchs in case someone needed them or security rolled by, but they never did.

Wolf O'Shaw necrovored Coffee :^)

Just unlocked Blueshield recently and so far every shift has been a uniquely different experience This one tipped the scale...literally. I begin my shift, get my stuff from my locker, drag my locker up to the bridge because I rarely have to go back to my office. Any other shift by the time I get to the bridge the captain is there to greet me with the pinpointer and spare captain ID. Not this shift. I wait outside the captains quarters got 5-10 min. Nothing on comms from him, there IS a captain on the manifest, other people in command are questioning where he is on comms. Just as the NT rep shows up the captain opens his quarters. We go in. He's very clearly a noob captain. Stuff from his locker is all over the place like he's been checking it out, nuke disk is still on desk, nothing is in order. NT rep gives him the disk and tells him he needs to hang onto it, I grab the spare ID and pinpointer. He isn't speaking at all through all of this. I proceed to awkwardly sit in his office with him for a good 10 minutes with no conversation at all, keeping command updated via comms that he's just sitting at his desk smoking and eating donuts. I get hungry so I decide to grab a donut. Captain finally speaks. "TRAITOR! RENAULT! TRAITOR BETWEEN US!" (I was in between him and Renault). Baffled, I'm like "Huh?!"...I go get the box of donuts from the bridge and when I return with them. He apologizes and thanks me. At this point I'm super psyched he's started talking to me so I'm like "I know...these donuts are sooo good, right?" And I offer to get hot chocolate to go with them. After the hot chocolate the captain is like "I need a stiff drink" I say "alright I'll escort you to the bar" "Nonsense, I'll go alone" Whatever. I follow him anyways, cuz it's my job. I observe him from the back of the bar and command is still questioning his presence, I continue to inform them of what's going on. He gets a bottle of whiskey and returns to his quarters. I go back through the bridge and the HOP and NT rep are in there. I say "what's up" and they inform me we need to demote the captain. Theye ask me to go get him. I drag him to the bridge. "What is the meaning of this" NT rep "you've been found unfit to serve as Captain and we are demoting you" "TREASON! I AM THE CAPTAIN OF THIS STATION!" NT rep "You are captain but not king, central has authority over you and has sent orders for your demotion" They proceed to try to remove his gear and he pulls out his rapier and runs around the bridge preparing to resist forcefully. I tase him and cuff him. While they take his stuff off I go to locker room to get civvy gear. When I get back all he has left is his jumpsuit. RD has showed up at this point. I remove his jumpsuit and BAM! He instantly becomes fat. (Captains jumpsuit must be one of those outfits that isn't programmed to show fatness) So now we have a fat guy in nothing but small white underwear and long socks on the bridge People start screaming, the HOP is like "OH GOD THERE'S SOME THINGS YOU CAN'T UNSEE!!" I say "Well...he did just sit in his office eating donuts...". The now former captain is offended by this. I try to put the outfit I got for him on him but it doesn't fit cuz he's too fat. RD is like "I'll fix this" and runs off. The HOP is pretty much trying to claw his own eyes out while we wait, RD shows back up and is like "I have something that suits you better than a captains uniform" and proceeds to out a chicken suit on him. I emote a ROFL as I'm dying laughing IRL, tell the RD he's spot on (well done Ares!) he grins and laughs. We all have a good laugh and I drag the former captain off the bridge. I got to my office and send a station wide saying "Our old captain spent the whole shift sitting in his office smoking, drinking, and eating donuts. Central found him unfit to lead so he's been demoted, all hail our new acting captain, (insert HOPs name here...can't remember)!" The only thing that saddens me about this is I'm fairly positive whoever the dude was who was captain is gonna get a job ban even though it led to one of the most interesting and memorable shifts I've had. I hope he was some sort of an antag with an objective to be a bad captain, if so, well done sir. If not, know your job ban was not in vain. You were very entertaining. Here's to you, fat lazy captain. You were both the worst and best captain I'll ever serve.

Its not just a nerf to antags. Its a nerf to anyone who ever has to deal with greyshits and stuff. Imagine the horror of being a sec officer, or head. Sure you can stun them, but they ll get up soon enough because you move like a turtle.

I remember a round months ago as the blueshield when the whole station exploded. Someone had planted a ton of toxin bombs all around the station in smugglers satchels and I was cloning the CMO in medbay when suddenly everyone outside the cloning room got vaporized. I finished cloning him, stole a hardsuit off a dead engineer and stuffed him into the medical hardsuit before making my way to escape, which was on fire. Traitor emagged the shuttle and left while I was left with a mentally retarded clone and a lot of salt.

Officer SCUTTLES had just started the shift when an engineer cried for help over coms. Mining maintenance. 1 other officer came with. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary until we found a large room filled with meatspikes. There was right in total. The last one contained a vulp, whom Officer SCUTTLES assumed was dead. They were completely stripped of everything including clothing. Another citizen was there. When she saw us she called out that Zach had done this. At the sound of his name Zach popped his head into the room and quickly bolted, welding the doors behind him. Officer SCUTTLES called for backup at his location requesting that Zach be put under arrest. Security ignored all comminication. The vulp was alive...but not well off. The other civilian helped him off the spikes and pulled him to the medbay. My partner dissapeared...presumably to scan the area for Zach, but SCUTTLES did not move and Zach returned. Again, a request for backup was made and getting no acknowledgement Officer SCUTTLES decided to pursue. Into the dark tunnels...he was sighted. Too far away to tase. He threw down a bear trap and SCUTTLES did not see. Leg was severely damaged. Could not follow him anymore. SCUTTLES turned to leave maintenance to get repaired. Out of the corner of SCUTTLES 's eyes he saw Zach..following. He was too quick for SCUTTLES and he put a garrote around SCUTTLES neck and dragged him back to maintenence. Whispers of " I wanted to be friends and this is how you repay me?" were heard. Back to the torture room. Onto the meatspike. SCUTTLES hung there awaiting his fate. Zach removed everything off of SCUTTLES and put on the security uniform. The conversation went something like this. S: Why are you doing this? Z: You are apart of my art exhibit. It is not complete yet. Isn't it fantastic? S: *buzz* SCUTTLES is having a very bad day! Z: How so? S: First off: SCUTTLES found out he is losing his house. SCUTTLES could not pay his mortgage. Then SCUTTLES is put on a meat spike, but he is not even meat! Z: Oh man in sorry to hear that. I didn't know it was so tough for you. Don't worry. I'll get you some company. S: *screams* Shortly afterwards, Zach returns with another officer. Plop onto the spike. Then Renault. Some assistant, and then later a miner. The miner puts up the biggest fight almost getting away. Although we were all hung on meat spikes, Zach made sure we were well fed and hydrated. Since none of us could leave without severely injuring ourselves SCUTTLES decided to pray for a savior. They were answered! A cookie appeared...but nothing else. Eventually the shuttle was called. One more person came to investigate the "art gallery" . At this point, SCUTTLES had severely injured himself trying to free himself from the spikes and could not see much if what happened. There was a sound of a scuffle and of someone being added to the meatspikes. When SCUTTLES came back online he saw Zach on the spike and an IPC standing over him. The last words SCUTTLES remembers him saying were "Yeah, I deserved that."

Release the hounds Or the bees Or the hounds with bees in their mouths and whenever they bark they shoot bees at you