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I figured I would try my hand at photoshop drawing and sketched out my main char: Lucy

This is something only an admin should handle. We use faxes to guide the round and make large decisions that effect things on a massive scale. No player, even with 100kp, should have that ability.

aaaahh Lucy and her eating habits. Best Character 10/10.

NAR'SIE HAS RISEN Now, here's a sultry(?) drawing if Jonah Bright and Zeke Varloss. I have a quota I must meet with Jonah and Zeke kissing drawings.

Hi! My BYOND account is SuperestKirbyStar and i play different characters like Cassie Blake, Nina Kondratenko, and Link Vale. I know SS13 and how to play it, but some roles like engineering the advanced stuff of it i'm still learning. Started to play Paradise this month, i like the admins for jobbanning me from command for a week because i deserved. But anyway glad to play with you guys! Take care.

No

ONE MILLIONKP >.<

For the millionth time, no.

A new Ares; idea credit and images to @DaKittaX

Kei knows who he needs to steal lunch money from next.

I feel bad for Lucy I love being her Blueshield and defending her eating habits.

Welcome to the station. It was fun being cult with you.

Hello and welcome to the forums! If you're still finding some of the more "advance" things a little tricky, you can always mentor help, or see if you could find someone in game that would want to help. We have a lot of people here who like to hell out people who are still learning.

Such a jerk half the time lol. Sneaking snacks and avoiding doing anything

Blob at HoP line!

Heyo. Remember that round where we played cult and i was Nina? It was fun.

No ERP

Personally Why not make them use the headset on the Host? And have them get glitched into being unable to talk if the person is stunned, so that they cant scream for help while stunned, and cant just scream for help if the headset goes down. Digital messenger could also be glitched into unusability, so that there is no death alarm worries.

Oh my gosh, it felt like it took forever working on this. Here's mine and Churchy's Diablo 3 character, a Necromancer named Annette and a Wizard named Darion. Can you guess whose is whose?

Random sketch of seeing if I could draw Nar'Sie in a more humanoid and womanly figure. Now an Ascendant (Nurn'Kal?) being gripped tight by Nar'Sie

Why do people even incinerate vampires anyways? I've been asking this for years. They aren't changelings, they can't revive themselves. Nobody burns traitors and it's an illegal execution method. It doesn't make sense.

I've got a quick, old story. It involves vampires and trials that no one needs. It was a vampire round, and I was the IAA. Security was acting up here and there, but nothing I couldn't manage. That is, until the detective caught a vampire in maintenance. "Hey, guys, I'm going to burn the vampire!" The detective said over the radio. "DON'T FUCKING DO IT!" Replied me and the HoS, over and over. Cue me rushing as fast as I could down to the chapel to stop the detective, as the entirety of security comes down to watch this vampire get burned. Meanwhile, Alex Rockwell, the unlucky vampire, is screaming over the radio that he's being dragged to the incinerator. "DON'T BURN THE VAMPIRE" I yell again. "Vampire is ash, mission accomplished!" calls back the detective. Cue me shouting my lungs off at the detective for an illegal execution (Yes, I know it's silly that vampires can't be just killed on the spot. In my opinion, why bother having legitimate executions for vampires/changelings if CC won't let security detain vampires/changelings. But, I digress). Some officer then speaks up, and says, "Hey, why don't we have a trial!" If you know how I work in legal, you'll know that I absolutely abhor trials in any shape or form. This detective was clearly guilty of murder, even if he could have easily gotten parole considering he killed a vampire. None the less, everyone in security rushes back to the, at the time, newly added courthouse, to hold a kangaroo court for the detective. Seeing that there was going to be no reasoning with security, and being too tired to bother contacting CC, I opted to cryo.

Here's a new one. Hot off the presses. I'll name this one "Riot or Wrong?" I'm an officer, early on we catch a traitor with a pen sword and emag who attempted to kill someone. We put em in perma. Captain orders we borg them. There is some opposition amongst command that delays the borgification but it finally is complete. The opposition was made public somewhere along the way and riots began in front of the bridge. It was really confusing for a while but at some point security needed to don riot gear to break up the crowd. We told them to disperse, some refused, we began arresting, uncuffed rioters began dragging cuffed ones away, a civilian who, as far as I knew wasn't a rioter, started dragging a cuffed rioter off. I tase and cuff them, another officer gets the rioter, I start bringing the civ to the brig. Here's where it got...interesting. in LOOC they say "Why am I being arrested? I've committed no crime, answer or I'll AHELP" I stop and IC I say "you are being arrested for helping a criminal, you tried to drag away a cuffed rioter that we were arresting" I can't remember what was IC or LOOC at this point but from this point forward there was a mixture of the two with them telling me that's not a law, I'm not allowed to search them. Despite them being SO cooperative I say I'm going to search them and if they have nothing on them they get off with a warning. I find a stunprod on them. Tell them I need to brig them for weapons possession. They keep arguing IC and OOC that I can't do this, so I say in LOOC "Alright I'll amuse you, I'll AHELP this" I end up MHELPing explaining that I've arrested a civilian that was helping a rioter get away, am I allowed to arrest and search them? Mentors get back saying "yes, aiding and abetting." So I've now confirmed with mentors I'm in the right, inform the civ in LOOC, they continue arguing. I confiscate the weapons, bring them to a cell, and say all I'm gonna brig them for is weapons charge, 10 min. I COULD have given them another 10 for helping the rioter and lack of cooperation but I felt bad cuz they were already in a bad mood. Before leaving I say in LOOC "while you are in your cell, go read space law, look up weapons posession under medium crimes, then scroll below capital crimes and find aiding and abetting" They respond in LOOC "Fuck you, I've read it enough...I'm right..also 'while you are in your cell?' ICKY OOCKY!" I respond "ICKY OOCKY? Like asking me why you are under arrest in LOOC? or arguing the arrest in LOOC?" He's says "FUCK YOU" admin turns off LOOC Sort of felt like I needed to report their behavior but again, they were already having a bad enough time, so I didn't bother. Already felt bad enough about all the stuff I put the guy through already but, I've got a job to do. Pretty sure the admins were already dealing with the situation. I never got bwoinked so I'm all good. Just another day in shitcurity. AS FOR THE RIOTS. The round ended with the AI being pitted against the captain, AI obviously siding with rioters. Security was divided, some trying to arrest the captain, some trying to help captain. I believe the HOS remained neutral through the whole thing, and kept a fairly cool head despite the situation. Good HOS. Karma for him. I didn't know what the hell to do so aside from a few confused tase and handcuffs, I was just trying to prevent violence. I believe the captain ended up getting spaced. Shuttle was emagged. GAME OVER YEAAAAAAA!!! If anyone wonders why someone would primarily work security, notably I've read someone saying "Anyone who works security primarily is a masochist"...once you get adjusted to the stress it initially causes, and are adept at dealing with all the various situations that are thrown at you, it leads to a hell of alot of interesting stories. Seclife. EDIT: I explained this story to my spouse, and we've now decided any time we get in an argument where one of us is clearly wrong, when the party who is wrong realizes they are wrong they are to end the argument by saying "FUCK YOU! I KNOW SPACE LAW!"

Another old story...this one probably deserves it's own topic but it fits in with "Tales from Shitcurity"...the story of the "PIMP WARDEN" I'm playing as sec and we don't have a warden long enough for me to volunteer. I get my ID changed from pilot to warden, but the HOP doesn't close the warden slot so within 10 minutes another warden shows up. Can't remember his last name but his first name was Ricky. I meet him in the wardens office to give him a rundown of what's been happening, he opens his locker, points at me and says "BITCH! GIVE ME MY PIMP GLOVES!" I'm thinking great...another asshole warden who just wants to be a glorified officer with cool gloves. I give him the gloves and beg him not to be bad at his job. He's just like "BITCH I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING, DON'T ORDER ME AROUND, I OWN YOU" Oh lord...I go to the HOP and revert to pilot. This warden is acting very questionable. I run into him walking around the ship and his title has been changed to "Pimp" and he points at me as says "Hoe, how are you supposed to service customers in all that armor?" (Was wearing my EVA) I'm like "Are you fucking kidding me?" Tell him to get back to the brig and do his damned job. I inform the HOS and captain of his antics and the round proceeds with him continuing this routine, butting heads with everyone in Sec, various complaints about him doing a bad job to which he argues "You bitches may not understand my methods, but I'm really INSPIRING you to work harder" HOS either dies or cryos...can't remember, Captain asks me to come be promoted to acting HOS, Ricky argues it's his job per SOP. I'm mortified by the notion of this fool being HOS so I protest, but IAA gets involved and the Pimp is now our HOS. He does this routine where he literally refers to officers as his "product" and criminals as "customers" and keeps complaining that he shouldn't have to service customers (process prisoners) and that his hoes (officers) aren't doing thier job. At this point I've had enough and I AHELP because this is just absurd. I explain a routine like this would be sort of acceptable for a greytide but we can't have something as important as the warden and especially the HOS acting like this. I was fairly new at the time so wasn't aware something like this could be handled IC. I beleive the captain was one of the admins so we end up going through a process IC where he gets demoted...forcefully...and that's pretty much that..

Alright another story from me about one of my own flukes that led to a memorable shift. This is actually the longer version of the Major Crime part of Tetra's security record. I go to join an early low population shift that is about 10 minutes in...depleted security force...I decide that having SOMEONE as HOS is better than nobody, so I take the job. This was my first time as HOS aside from 1 or 2 shifts where I was Acting HOS for a short while. I'm very inexperienced and inform command of this but they (which was literally just a captain and HOP) are glad to have me. Mostly had only dealt with cultists and traitors at this point. There are vampires on the station. Okay I've got this. Call the chaplain, get a tank blessed, 2 fire extinguishers in processing, we are good to go. My officers bring in our first vamp. Due to my experience with cultists I proceed to force feed this vamp enough holy water to de-convert a cultists. Despite emptying both extinguishers on the vampire they continue to burn. After we clean up that mess the magistrate bring me aside and informs me that I'm being demoted and arrested for manslaughter. I'm unhappy with this but accept my punishment without much resistance. Served the rest of the shift in perma. My officers did a good job making me comfortable, didn't put me in prison gear, giving me cigs and a botany bag. Kept me company and even still consulted with me about things. Eventually got a few vampire roommates that attempted to eat me and led to a lock down, one of them being executed, and the other agreeing to be a civil roommate with me. Appealed to central after working with IAA. Denied. I was super salty about this at the time but looking back now, just yet another unique experience given to me by SS13.

That "no prisoners, only bodies" one, to this day, is my absolute favourite shitcurity moment.

Now this brings up a few good ones for me, but I'll keep it to two good stories for now. First one is a rather short one, it was the start of a lowpop round, everything calm, first thing over comms comes from the HoS, "No prisoners, only bodies." About ten seconds later you hear this over comms, from the AI this time, "The HoS is being murdered by their pet spider." No one really bothered to revive that HoS after Araneus killed them, because well... I don't think I really have to explain And the next one comes from a nuke ops round, where I'll let the screenshots explain... The HoS attempted to implant a death alarm into Araneus, little does he know Araneus doesn't fear death, he embraces it! And after killing the HoS and putting two security members and the mime into critical, his fury is finally calmed. And the funny thing... this was all happening while there were nuke ops active on station, shooting crew in the halls while they screamed for help.

OK, so about a year ago, I played ss13 a good bit later than my usual timezone, so most of the players were ones I was unfamiliar with. There was this IPC HoS, and he is behind one of the two or three times I've gotten truly mad while playing security. I was the Warden, and it became apparent soon enough it was a traitor round. The HoS was one of the greatest valid hunters I've seen wear the coat. This was before not killing antags who hadn't killed or stolen anything and didn't resist arrest was codified into space law, so the he just one-man firing-squaded every antag we brought in. Some antags didn't really mind, but some players, believe it or not, don't like being summarily murdered without a good reason. Now, the Captain and all the command people had done zilch to put an end to this funny business, so when he got ready to shoot some scientist that had contraband without any indication of Captain approval, I tasered him and cuffed him for attempted murder. About this time, a first-round sec officer shows up and tasers me. I was hauled to processing, and the (IPC) Captain and grey HoP show up. I was given some ultra-vague charge, despite my having a valid reason for making the arrest. I asked the Captain about all the killings and he was like "Umm, maybe I authorized it, don't really remember." The HoP, in full powergaming gear, sat there and berated me while the HoS prattled on. I was dumped ID-less on the (broken) mining camp. I've never seen the HoP or HoS players again, and if I never do it'll be too soon.

Story three. I find a potential Vox antag in space. Doesn't respond to me at all, I warn I'll have to detain him if he doesn't, I end up detaining and bringing him in. Nothing on him. Released. Later in the round there are endless grates built outside my podbay, only way to remove them is to go through airlock and deal with them from the outside. On my way to the airlock I find and unknown Vox, same color as the one from space, grating off sec maint. Detained. Had contraband this time to sentence them. So...a mistake I'll never make again, I know I'm not supposed to remove his tank. However, his mask is making him an unknown. I mistakenly remove it thinking it's more like a helmet. This guy hasent talked AT ALL, makes no indication that he can't breath, doesn't try to alert me in any way. After he is brigged a Borg mentions he doesn't have a mask on, I grab a regular mask and put it on him not realizing Vox have different masks and he ends up needing medical treatment. 5 min later I get a message from an admin angirly asking me why I removed a Vox's mask and I explain the whole situation. I got off with a warning only because I TRIED to put a mask on them later. I assume the antag bitched at an admin despite making zero effort to notify me IC that they needed a mask. I didn't bring that up with the admin cuz the admin was pretty angry and I didn't want to make them angrier by trying to defend myself in any way. I was just super apologetic. Should I have reported him for failing to communicate anything about his mask? What about the griefing by making endless grates outside my pod bay? I don't even know.

My first story...how bout an antag I find in space, I hit them with a few lasers from my pod and they use the rest command and /deathgasp emote to pretend they've died. I exit my pod to retrieve the body, approach them, they jump up and kill me. Since I've dealt with this multiple times and dies to it multiple times, I've now grown wise to this and hide behind my pod while examining to see if they are dead. I cannot examine them while inside the pod. One time I literally waited in my pod telling a dude I know he's not dead for 10+ min until he got bored and finally got up n tried fighting again until he actually died.

This is a work in progress botany guide that I need to put more time into but with new botany already out people are going to wonder how to do what etc so it will be updated over the next few days Howdy hello Spessman McGreenie, So you woke up today, hopped on the shuttle and came over to the Cyberiad with the pretext of being a botanist. Sure you may have had previous experience in botany or may have had none at all, but regardless. I am here today to try and help you understand the new glorious Botany system we have today. Back in Old Botany if you where one of them previous work experience folks weh ad a thing called DNA splicer or such. It was a two machine thing were you put in seeds, extraced things that didn't mean much to you with your fancy disks from the crate in the back and put them together on the machine next to you with some other seeds until it would not let you anymore. One of these many things you may have and well; most certain put on other plants was Appearance. Now Appearance in only botany meant many things. It changed how well, the plants appeared. Unfortunatly with rhew new system, you cannot do this. HOWEVER! We do have a similar thing now called Parennial Growth. Now you may be asking yourself; "What is Parennial Growth?" Pareenial Growth is the DNA trait certain things like grass has that lets you reharvest the plant over and over. Now this trait from what I noticed may not work every time and result in seeds instead. But fear not my fellow Spessman Botanist! Your seed packets it left instead of fruits of your labor contain the same code as it, the plant had before! So now you may be going. I just arrived here Ms Furbeast, what should I do to make my plants better and improve as an overall botanist? Fear not weary traveler. For I will hold your disgusting space hand through this. Tips for new Botanists Chemicals for your plants. Round Start Now, in this next section. I will be going into more details on what all you can do with DNA Splicing, and what special traits can do that you may see on your plants. DNA Splicing and You! Setting up Botany to be more efficient. So here we are. You're sitting here with all of your starting disks ready to shove in your plant seeds. Go ahead and take the time now to begin putting your packets in and every single disk you can to change your plants seed packets with these more diserable traits to make them even better. By doing such, you are already making your life 100% better. (But we can do better than that.) By now, you may be going There has to be more than this. You say with your trays full of plants, and you're right! We're not going to explore the fantastic world of Plant Mutations!!! Plant Mutations. The Forgotten Method of Reviving the Dead. Kudzu. Craftables made in Hydroponics. How to be Self Sufficient. I saved this part for last and it is definitely going to take up a lot of space.... All Plants and Specific Information. This is as much as the guide is going to be covering for today, but for all of you space farring Matt Damons boarding the Cyberiad today and hoping to find out more information on New Botany, this will hopefully be of a great help to you. If you have any questions that I have not yet covered; you can PM or @Xantholne on The Paradise Discord server for me to make the crying less painful.