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Grey HoS Prisoner in a cell asking me (warden. i let him out a minute early) Drask ate too much and..gibbed..so I did the only logical thing to do which was re-attatch his everything to a monkey Peacekeepers Half (there were 13 i think) of the peacekeeper borgs at the end of the 1st shift they were merged Clown's "artwork" Funny brig phys rage Funny Slith response OOC funny question Captain being spam tased in AI upload as the NT rep declares a hostage situation

The Idea: Separate Assistants from Civilians/Businessmen/Traders by allowing Assistants to choose a department to assist. This gives them basic departmental access (e.g. can open the main doors, but cannot open lockers), as well as the usual maintenance access. They would get a basic title change (Engineering Assistant, Medical Assistant, Robotics Assistant etc etc) Changes Civilians to be just that; Civilians. Visitors to the station, in whatever form that may take but not actual crew members. There are a few ways of approaching this, one would be to keep them the same as they are now (i.e. not belonging to a department, retain all access and privilege), another would be to revoke access to maintenance and have them pay for food and drinks, as well as medical services beyond basic triage, or you could go somewhere between the two. Obviously the latter options would require more of an overhaul of the economy, but this is something which could be added later. The Reasoning: One of, if the not the biggest complaints I see from Paradise players is the lack of jobs. This change to Assistants would accomplish three things: Add a functional reason for Assistants to exist beyond pure RP. Adds more job to the server, especially to those which are often sought-after. Gives newer players a way to ease into jobs like engineering, medical and science. Of course, limits would need to be set on how many assistants can be added to each department (probably 2 per department). But even if this were set to two additional personnel, that could be a great increase to various roles. Implementation: Add the option to choose departments you'd be willing to assist in, and get randomly placed in one of the departments you choose if slots are available. Might be best to spawn in the usual Civvie/Assistant positions, Limitations: I believe arguments could be made that it could over-strengthen certain departments (or just add needless bodies for the sake of inflation). Although I can't directly contradict this argument, I can say that at the very least, Assistants have less power in the department than a fully-fledged member of staff would. They might also make some jobs less frustrating by having someone you can delegate to (e.g. a surgeon requesting meds from the fridge, or an engineer needing an airlock electronics). I'll be adding more in a bit, I'm at work at the moment but any feedback, and any questions/queries/comments/concerns are appreciated. EDIT: Since a couple questions have been asked that are totally relevant in Discord, here's the conversation: Frankly, I don't think it actually changes anything insofar as the number of players for the map size. I think it would take our existing number of players and make their lives less boring when they don't get a proper job slot. If we added two jobslots for assistants to every department (engi, sci, robotics, cargo, kitchen, botany etc) then that could really reduce both greytiding and the tedium that comes with being a civvie sometimes. As for implementation, I think it'd only be right to add specific slots to the department for assistants. That way, you still get X number of Engineers for example, but get 2 Assistants on top. I can't think of many jobs where they have a problem with too many people, but I think almost every department has issues with 'OH GOD WHERE ARE THE STAFF'

Getting Engineering to jettison the entire brig wing might also work.

Oh boy, lighting round. The Warden is fine, seems pretty new. Give him a refresher of easy brig procedure: Stun, cuff, buckle, stun, set timer, stun, uncuff, stun, leave. Officer #1 needs slapped and sent to Cargo, the clown needs thrown out and the tool box needs dunked into evidence. Officer #2 needs the Chappie placed off arrest and also sent to Cargo. The Brig Phys needs slapped. The armor needs to go. Give him a taser at least and tell him to support the rookie Warden. Third Officer needs fired, no questions asked. Fourth Officer needs to be recalled, lie down in the infirmary if unable to walk straight. The Detective needs to be shoved in a Cryo-Bed. R&D needs to do their fucking job, else risk the Captain sacking the lot of them if the RD remains absent. The QM is probably lying, because I've never heard Cargo being held back by a single person, but if there is an E-Swording Vox, sending the two officers to stir up trouble should give Cargonia the chance they need to break free. If anyone in Security, Brig Phys and Officer #1 especially, gives you trouble on your orders, sack them. Attempt to maintain sanity until 1400 All else fails, call ERT with captain

bonus: a grey

A few more species drawings: Diona, Drask, and Kidan!

Nah. We don't want EMP or rampaging monster objects remotely triggerable or... worse. On a timer.

Health sensor on a call of the wild strange object For when you want vengeance on the bastard that killed you

Updated from current list at request that isn't actually 100% up to date but it's what i had that was the most up to date because reasons for real i dont acutally know what all is needed anymore this is just an old list and something something honestly who reads this shit. Basic Capacitor, made in PROTOLATHE, AUTOLATHE (Power: 1) Micro Manipulator, made in PROTOLATHE, AUTOLATHE (Materials: 1Data: 1) Basic Micro-Laser, made in PROTOLATHE, AUTOLATHE (Magnets: 1) toolbox, made in ? (Combat: 1) welding tool, made in ? (Plasma: 1) High-Capacity Power Cell, made in PROTOLATHE, AUTOLATHE, MECHFAB, PODFAB (Power: 2) Science Goggles, made in PROTOLATHE (Engineering: 1, Magnets: 2) Advanced Capacitor, made in PROTOLATHE (Power: 3) Advanced Scanning Module, made in PROTOLATHE (Magnets: 3) Mass-Spectrometer, made in PROTOLATHE (Biotech: 1, Plasma: 2) Advanced Reagent Scanner, made in PROTOLATHE (Biotech: 3, Magnets: 4, Plasma: 3) advanced hard disk drive, made in PROTOLATHE (Data: 2, Engineering: 2 Tracking Beacon, made in PROTOLATHE (Bluespace: 1) global positioning system, made in PROTOLATHE (Bluespace: 2, Materials: 2) Holographic Sign Projector, made in PROTOLATHE (Data: 3) Mining Drill, made in PROTOLATHE (Engineering: 3, Materials: 2) cluster hard disk drive, made in PROTOLATHE (Data: 4, Engineering: 4) Advanced Matter Bin, made in PROTOLATHE (Materials: 3) Upgrade Circruit Imprinter with Nano Manips Machine Board (SUPERPACMAN-type Generator), made in IMPRINTER (Power: 4 Console Board (Telepad Control Console), made in IMPRINTER (Bluespace: 3, Plasma: 4) Make a Portable Chem Dispenser and Autolathe Machine Board (Quantum Pad Board), made in IMPRINTER (Bluespace: 4) Machine Board (Teleportation Hub), made in IMPRINTER (Materials: 4) Security HUD, made in PROTOLATHE (Combat: 2) Large Grenade, made in PROTOLATHE (Combat: 3) Exosuit Board ("Gygax" Weapons & Targeting Control module), made in IMPRINTER (Combat: 4, Data: 4) Floral Somatoray, made in PROTOLATHE (Biotech: 4) heart/brain, made in ? (Biotech: 5) Reviver implant, made in PROTOLATHE, MECHFAB (Materials: 5) Bluespace Crystal Bluespace Crystal AI Module (Purge), made in IMPRINTER (Data: 5) Diamond Mining Drill, made in PROTOLATHE (Materials: 6) PCMK-6 Bolar Launcher, Made in Exosuit Fabricator (Combat 5 Materials 4 Engineering 4) P-X Tesla Cannon, Made in Exosuit Fabricator (Material 4 Engineering 4Combat 6 Magnet 5) P-X Tesla Cannon, Made in Exosuit Fabricator (Material 4 Engineering 4Combat 6 Magnet 5) Phazon Torso (Plasma: 5) Print 10 Tech disks, take to Cargo after loading a tech level on every disk of different techs machine prototype, made in ? (Engineering: 6) machine prototype, made in ? (Engineering: 6) Bug Cargo and Botany for stuff. Bribe Cargo with tech disks ambrosia gaia branch, made in ? (Biotech: 6) or sentience potion, made in ? (Biotech: 6) charged slime core, made in ? (Power: 5) or glowcap cluster, made in ? (Power: 6) glowcap cluster, made in ? (Power: 6) Notable Items Required: Ambrosia Gaia Branch or Sentience Potion One to two glowcaps, if one charged slime core. One to Two Machine Prototypes from cargo, if one, mining jetpack Illegal Tech: Xray Laser Gun, made in PROTOLATHE (Illegal: 1)

NSS CYBERIAD CORONER'S GUIDE Damien Parser, Coroner FORM NSS-CYB-MDB-MRG-000451 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I. INTRODUCTION Welcome to the Cyberiad. I hope the hyperspace jump was pleasant enough - you'll get used to it soon enough, unless you like spending most of your time sleeping in cramped cryopods with life support so closely tied to the powernet of a space station whose engines are held together by duct tape and prayers. NanoTrasen says that they hire the best of the best, which you should already know isn't the case when you watched that security officer beat a clown for slipping him. Nevertheless your credentials are colorful and impressive, and you've chosen - or been chosen - to join the Medical crew as a Coroner. Let me be the first and last to congratulate you on this incredible feat. Your job now gives you the honor, the privilege, of examining; gaping stab wounds; horrible festering corpses; people so mangled you don't even know what species they were; people missing most of their organs; things that used to be people. and more. so much more. I hope you have a strong stomach, or no stomach at all. Either works. II. YOUR JOB, YOUR TOOLS, YOUR WORKPLACE Your job is straightforward. take the corpses of crew and perform an autopsy to determine the cause of death; compile your findings in a report; if necessary, forward a copy to security to assist in ongoing investigations. Take a look around your office. Get used to the scent of metal and stale, filtered air. If the shift goes on long enough you'll bet that the stench of death and decay will swiftly fill the room. Now, turn your attention to your immediate surroundings. We will be splitting your office into three zones: Clerical, Examination, and Morgue. Clerical - where you're supposed to do your paperwork. I normally do it right next to the body for ease of access, but you can do whatever. Medical Records Console - though it looks like a laptop, some joker decided to screw it to the desk so nobody steals it. On this computer you can conveniently change anyone's medical records from Active to Deceased, which changes their appearance on the manifest. Since people die and come back quickly almost nobody ever bothers to update these records. However, I find it immensely useful for updating the status of executed EoC if only to make the manifest that much cleaner to look at. Do not, under any circumstances, delete ANYONE's medical records without permission from the CMO. Unless you need to make a body unidentifiable... Boxes of Bodybags - Aside from the box that you're given when you sign up, you have two more boxes of bodybags waiting for you on your desk. These convenient little things can store bodies and anything on turf just by closing on it. It can actually store a lot, including all of a corpse's belongings should you decide to completely strip it for whatever reason. You can label these bad boys with a standard issue pen, which is great if you want people to know that this person was already revived. Paper, Filing Cabinets, Copier - Very important, for evident reasons. Your job is paperwork. These things work with paper. This is how you do your job. If you need me to give you a lesson on writing on pieces of paper, god help you. Request Console - The shut-in enabler. A good coroner delivers her reports to the brig for analysis. An efficient coroner will print out a label bound for the HOS's office and mail them the reports. Simply print out a label and stuff your effects in the box, seal it, and toss it in the disposals bin. Make sure to use the request console to send a message to the HOS's office notifying him that you sent your report. Examination - This is where you'll do all the dirty work. Though admittedly, with advances in the scanner's technology you won't have to do much cutting anymore. This area, directly south of your desk, contains the following notable items; Surgery Table - It's a surgery table but without the console. You'll be placing dead bodies on this so they don't get their festering juices all over the floor. The light is located above which can be really inconvenient when scanning people; I've accidentally hit the light multiple times. Coroner's Closet - Unlike the stuck-up snobs working with the meat, your closet has no lock. Keep this open so you can access the things on the left table. Inside you'll find a lot of useless crap but the real treasure is... Formaldehyde - This magical thing keeps bodies from rotting, which lets you work on them longer and also keeps them from husking if you somehow neglected to clone them. The provided dropper is a good tool for applying it, and as little as 1u of Formaldehyde can keep a body in stasis. Admire the gaping hole where his face once was. Examine the gore. Go wild, sicko. I usually take these out of the closet and place them to the left. Camera - a camera, good for taking photographs of corpses. Has marginally less use considering that the lightbulb likes to obscure whatever you're trying to photograph, but it can be useful to take a photo of a stiff if they're Unknown. Scalpel & Autopsy Scanner - once upon a time these two worked in tandem. Now you don't really need the scalpel. The scanner is all you'll need - point at a corpse's body parts and click on it in your hand to print a handy dandy autopsy report. The scalpel can be used as a weapon if you need to, but you won't need it if you're a good boy and stay in your office like you're supposed to. Morgue - Where you store all the dead bodies. The morgue tray lights indicate the status of whatever's inside; Red - There's no ghost here. They're either alive or the ghost departed. Don't clone. Green - There's a ghost in here, you moron! Clone him! It also could mean that someone's alive in there. Orange - There's random crap in here, like an empty bodybag. Clear it out before it becomes an issue. Purple - The spirit's out on a little stroll, or they're uncloneable. It just means that a spirit is present but not in the body. III. WHAT TO DO WITH A DEAD BODY The meat of the issue. Someone's being cloned and the body was dropped off in your office, either in a bag or just on the floor like the sack of skin and nails and hair that it is. Here's a quick guide on what to do with it; EXAMINE THE CORPSE Why? Simply put; if it's a suicide, it's not worth your time. You can tell when someone suicided through the examine text - you can safely skip the autopsy unless you want to be thorough. Then take their ID and any job-specific gear. Disposals mail the ID to the HOP's office, set their record to deceased, and disposals mail whatever it is they had to their department. If it's too big, like a hardsuit, take it off them and yell at their department head to pick it up at the morgue. Then drag their body to either the chapel to have it incinerated, or to the chef to feed to the crew. I'm sure mister Todd would love to have some new meat in his kitchen. MAKE SURE IT'S DEAD Stick it in an empty morgue tray. If the light's Purple or Green, drag it back to the cloner and yell at whoever put a cloneable body inside your morgue. Unless they're an EoC, then you're free to stick your hands all over their body while the ghost watches, horrified. SCAN IT FOR INJURIES Drag it to the exam room next to your office; nobody ever uses that anyway, so having a possibly rotting body in there shouldn't hurt anyone (at least until infections are coded in). Put it in the body scanner and print the report out - you now have a record of all its injuries, the types, and where it is. This will make the paperwork much, much easier. PERFORM THE AUTOPSY Using the information gathered from the full-body scan, now it's time to perform the autopsy. Just take your handheld scanner on Help intent, and change your target to whatever body parts were injured. There we go, Autopsy Performed, mission accomplished. Print that sucker out and now all you have to do is the paperwork. WRITE YOUR REPORT We'll cover this in the next section; it's important to write the report as soon as you finish scanning so that the information stays relevant in the face of an ongoing investigation. When you're done, scan it, store a copy, and send the other copy to security. STORE THE BODY After all the dirty work is done, zip the body in a bag and shove them in a tray for posterity. You'll never know when you'll need their corpse again. IV. THE PAPERWORK If you're lazy, here's the paperwork template I use. You can stop reading here if this is all you wanted. I highly recommend buying a laptop with a NanoPrinter, as it will let you edit and copy reports conveniently without having to wrestle with papercode fields too much. Every good autopsy report is made of at least three components; The Full Body Scanner Report - from the body scanner, shows the initial areas of injury and the time of the scan. The Autopsy Scanner Report - shows the times that the injuries were inflicted, the exact time of death, and the source of the injury. The Autopsy Report - the thing that people will read to figure out what the hell all the other things mean. The report is essential. A good report means less people asking you pointless questions and more time for you to work on other bodies. It's also the most fun part of the job, since now you get to play mini-detective and figure out the cause of death. It's important to note the time of death, as injuries can and will be inflicted after death. These should be mentioned but specifically that it was past the point of death, to rule it out as the cause. It should look like this; Time of death: When the person died. Affected Areas: Where the injury was detected. Time of Injury: When the damage was caused. Weapon: the source of the injury. This will also include low pressure, low body temperature, burning, high body temperature, etc. I can't teach you how to identify a cause of death. This is where your imagination and knowledge of game mechanics come in handy. Do note that a person's health does not stop at 0 - at 0 HP they fall into crit, where they'll steadily suffer from suffocation damage as their lungs and heart stop working. At -100 damage, they die and become a ghost. Take the suffocation damage into account as it can help IMMENSELY when trying to identify murders. Even the damage sources will provide necessary nuance and background into a victim's demise. Here are a few examples; Accidental Death by Exposure: Suffocation damage paired with low body temperature and low pressure damage. The poor fool most likely stepped into space and died from lack of an exosuit and internals. Accidental Death by Depressurization: Aside from the suffocation and pressure damage, they might have brute damage from random objects slamming into them at high velocity while being sucked out into space. This isn't usually present unless fastmos is on. It's also possible that they were hit by objects they threw in order to guide them onto station. Murder by Exposure to Vacuum: You can easily tell this is the case if, in addition to the above damage types, they suffered brute damage beforehand or have broken bones. This is where the time of death comes in handy, because if their time of death is sooner than when they recieved the pressure damage then that means the murderer spaced them AFTER killing them. V. CLOSING REMARKS I hope that this guide comes in handy for your corpse-examining escapades. I actually don't know how to end this, so I'll leave a large blank area below for personal notes. I'll probably highlight any changes if and when I decide to edit this guide. Damien Parser ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Glory to NanoTrasen." &^?!!&^@! !&@^&!. ERROR_NULL_ENTRY so it's come to this. I knew you were different. There was something about you. Something subversive. Something dangerous. The following is read only. Do not under any circumstances expose the contents of this message. Here are some tips for the traitor in you. Clear the medical records of your target. People forget that you have a medical records console in your office. It would be a shame if they had no idea who they were treating should they disappear off the medical records; you could easily frame them as a traitor who used a DNA scrambler. Clear your medical records. If you gain access to a command-level medical records console you can purge your blood and print data from the system, making your murders all the more covert. Make sure your target stays dead. It's as easy as adding a "DO NOT CLONE" tag to their bodybag. If you're a changeling, it's even more fun - steal their DNA, transform into them, and claim that you were cloned. This only works once, however, since you'll wind up losing your morgue access. leave this as a last resort if you have a kill and replace objective. If you need to steal a brain, just ask cargo for a surgery kit and say you want to practice on dead bodies - after all, nobody will miss a few cloned corpses, will they? Lie on your autopsy reports. Let's face it. You're probably the only one who knows how these things work. Traitor coroner is like traitor detective, except you have no security comms or a fancy gun. Use your medbay access. Swipe the syringe gun and fill a needle full of ether. Carry formaldehyde with you, and a bodybag. After committing your heinous crime, bag them and tag them as if you're bringing them to the medbay to be cloned - then do whatever you want with them. If you have chapel access, incinerating your target while alive but unconscious is a deliciously sadistic way of ensuring they never come back. Be thorough. You're the only coroner on the station. If they find fibres of a coroner's getup on you, then your life is forfeit. The syndicate has no need for failures. Death to NanoTrasen. Long live the Syndicate.