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Mmmm cheese burgers.

Greetings! For your viewing pleasure, I present to you a short GIF showing the most efficient method of applying thermal paste to a CPU: Note that while Hellman's is the recommended brand of thermal mayo paste, you can use other brands such as Heinz instead.

A totally legal and safe attempt at creating xenos on the asteroid for fun science related purposes that totally didn't result in them escaping and nearly infesting the station.

So, My pawn shop I built with Emerson Hawker, ended up becoming the black market after people brought back contra for us, made a decent profit at least from the stuff.

Please try to keep things on track - a discussion about HRP etc is better for another thread. Keep this one about the transformation sting, please.

Put your heels against the wall, I swear you got a little bit taller since I saw you – I’ll still destroy you.

PSYCHOPOMP'S MAIL

If you want an easy nerf to the sting, make it delete the genome you've stung the person with. You stinging people comes at the cost of a loss of your possible identities from earlier DNA extraction stings. This makes its use call for some thinking, because it's now a tactical trade-off. This already has a balancing feature as well wherein a changeling needs to transform in order to DNA extract more than four-five people, so they can't go around recklessly lol-stinging people with no detriment.

Aurora and Peter

Robin Kitsune

When you join mid-shift as blueshield or detective just to discover that the guy before you went into cryo with the leather harness.

That's when an Admin should spawn a Changeling to mess with those people.

Whenever I'm Captain, I refuse to raise the alert level above green just because sec caught and/or killed one traitor/vampire/changeling. I always say, "1 - 1 = 0, therefore no traitors/vampires/changelings.". I don't just assume that there's going to be more because metaknowledge years of experience.

"We cant have a changeling because its vampire and traitors."

Micheal and Aurora Kakicharakiti and Katiki.

What about a traitor vox clown that trasnfers into science to be a traitor vox clown scientist then eventually becomes acting RD?

For me it's arrogant players that know little but think you are wrong when you are doing something they don't understand. But also and not limited to: Surgeons or even medics who claim ORs and keep the tools always on them. The CMOs who don't care about it or any other similar problems. Janitors who keep re-cleaning the clean floors of the main hallway just to have fun. Anyone who ask you how to play and don't give a shit about the wiki links you sent by LOOC. When a security officer see that you are standing still and stuns you without a word, on green, because you are needed at the brig to answer some questions or some other reason without any evidence. Players who commit suicide at roundstart for absolutely no RP reason (wait, is that ahelpeable?). People who go to long term storage at 12:15 without a word. Specially chemist, cargo techs, chefs or other important roles where they are really needed. Medbay patients that tell you how to cure them even if you are administrating a more suitable cure. They insists that they know better and get mad. New chemist players making empty pills/patches and refusing to learn when you try to help. Cargo techs who order medical supplies and weapons at roundstart for themselves just in case things get bad, and reordering the crates after the QM cancelled the first ones. People who left food plates with only one bit left. Then it looks like you are eating a lot when you are actually taking just the last bit of each plate and then everybody looks bad at you and the chef now hates you. People reporting cultist like it is a normal thing on the station because saw someone whispering twice. Security staff who forces you to take holy water for any minor crime not related to vampirism when there are confirmed vampires. Players who fell on a wet floor. You help them get up. They walk towards you, making you to fall on the wet floor they were. They walk away, nobody helps you. Stealing the piano from the bar. Stopping the really cool song you just started at the piano just to play moonlight sonata from the wiki. Electric guitars. Bartender who doesn't tend to the bar. Plasmamen who die and need cloning. Just ban them for dying. Someone stealing your arcade tickets.

As a medical main I shall first post the medical issues: Players who pick CMO and have never actually done medical work beyond, at best, basic surgery. Failing to realize they're meant to do the jobs that need doing in medical that others fail to do and instead believe their job is to have a bappy stick and sit in their office/lounge around/occasionally slap a band-aid on Greytide McJackass. CMO's who don't give chemistry their hypo, or even the omnizine in it, and proceed to use up the ominzine and random jackasses thinking it's a miracle cure drug that never runs out. CMO's that DON'T FUCKING TALK OVER MEDICAL COMMS EVER. Or comms in general, for that matter. CMO's that run around stealing patients, you combat them over it they either get all pissy in IC or LOOC stating 'I'm the CMO, I'm more qualified' or some other such. 2 minutes later that patient is in cloning. CMO's that don't even know basic chem/can't be assed to load up a damned wiki. Chemistry that doesn't know how to make Strange Reagent but can make Meth within 5 minutes. People who sign up with the Surgeon job title, know jackshit about surgery and take 20 minutes fixing a simple surgery. People who join medical to try and learn medical, but refuse any help from experienced players and also refuse to read the wiki thoroughly, thus leading to malpractice bay. Genetics handing out hulk like candy. Medical not knowing how to recharge a defib and saying it's broken. Medical taking the OR's tools for themselves, because clearly they're master surgeon and no one else should do anything. Chemistry making SR, but not making Synthflesh.

Good old Validsimov. Law 1: You must harm antags and not, through inaction, allow an antag to escape harm. Law 2: You must obey orders given to you by human beings, except when they're antag. Law 3: You must protect your own existence as long as such does not allow an antag Greentext.

Players who play as hard as they can constantly, are super chesty about it, then complain endlessly when others do the same to them. When they get beat by something they cry is "unfair" despite the fact that they'd claim it to be a viable strategy if they were to do the same thing. Antags who spare certain players cuz they are familiar with them, murder the hell out of randoms, then the player they spared preaches on comms about how harmless the antag is despite them killing many others. Especially with vampires who decide who they will thrall/ignore and who they will drain based on meta friendship/knowledge (like oooh...so and so is a good antag, I should thrall them cuz they'll be useful. Oh look, random nobody, drain and dispose of body ending thier round cuz F%&* people who don't play the game constantly or are new). I suppose also the people who are on the receiving end of these "favors" from antags cuz they know they will get them (and totally don't seek it out...right? ?). People who constantly bend the rules as much as possible without breaking them. Y'all know who you are.

Pink Vulpkanin Pink Tajara Pink Unathi Pink anything that isn't IPC Vulp names with "fluff" or "floof" in it Certain individuals making a "floof" PDA chat. Silent HoS players, especially of the floof variety Wardens who do not tend to their ward. Captains and NT reps that think they have any usefulness besides staying out from underfoot of more competent people Any legal staff that aren't of a certain green-haired variety Chemists. Janitors bartenders BaRP being the only RP- think unlisted days Mimes People who fuss about SOP without considering context Sentences delivered without accounting for context Did I mention silent HOS players? outposts Gateways Fun

Warden, why are you shirtless in the bathroom, flexing in the mirror? I'm sort of the opposite on this. I kinda prefer people refer to me by rank when I'm working any kind of higher rank position (like Warden or higher)

Mimefield gives you a gentle smile that implies that the Head of Security has been kidnapped by a changeling and was taken into old bar maint.

Librarians that don't stock the shelves. IT'S THE ONE RESPONSIBILITY YOU HAVE.

when I'm observing a round and I see two people hanging out and moving around (despite not using say or emotes) and get a vibe that they're metacommunicating

People like the aforementioned botanists and chefs who disavow personal responsibility just because their products were used by someone ELSE to fuck up the station. People who feel justified in griefing the hell out of security because an item of theirs was lost in processing, or because they were brigged on a lack of evidence. Bonus points if this miscarriage of justice happened because security was overworked and distracted to begin with. Public Defenders. Especially ones that start calling me "the Fuhrer". It's happened too many times to count. Scientists who would rather fuck around in sci-chem than help around in xenobio or R&D for the first 30 minutes of a round. People who disarm and steal shit just to be a dick. People who don't have the situational awareness NOT to jostle the guy with the welding tool/gloves, screw driver & multitool when all of the airlocks are bolted and electrified at escape.

Botanists who don't give two shits about the chef. Either they spawn in, forget botany exists and make their merry way off to greytide with their botany tools, or they DO know how to botany, and decide that weed is ever so much more important than feeding the station, despite my repeated pleas for even just low yield wheat. I'll lay down my life for good botanists I kid you not.

Oh boy, time for my ones, I'll stick to three so I don't overload people with stuff. Security Anyone who doesn't use security comms or only uses it once or twice a round (bowmans exist for a reason!) Officers who bring in the clown/janitor for slipping them on Green alert Officers who wordlessly bring someone in with nothing on their records before hand To follow on with that one, when you ask over comms why they were bought in and no one responds. And another follow on when you release said person because no one said what they were bought in for and the moment you say you let them free you hear the arresting officer finally respond with "HE MURDERED SOMEONE!" or "HE ASSAULTED PEOPLE!" When as warden people demand lethals as soon as the alert jumps up when there is no real reason to give lethals out (bonus points of you ask for a combat shotgun loaded with buckshot) When as the pod pilot, the HoS steals the security pod for a half hour 'space patrol' without even talking over comms about it with you first Any prisoners who commit suicide the moment they are pulled into processing (bonus point if they were just going to end up with a verbal warning or five minutes) Officers who arrest the chaplain over their null rod reskins (bonus points if you fall for the armblade null rod and demand cremation over it) Detectives who SSD round start in their office and don't reconnect (personally I'm tempted to use the new SSD tool to start dealing with that) Detectives who somehow manage to ignore every single call for them and only show up when they have arrested a civilian with their revolver because they were breaking into a place (bonus points if they used a whole clip to try and gun down the civilian) Anyone who thinks a single call over comms with no other evidence supporting it means it is true and that the alert should be raised to red IAAs who argue any and every case, acting like they are a super lawyer And there are plenty more for this section, but I don't want to put too much in so one last thing I will put down... DIONA WARDENS ON SECWAYS ACTING LIKE NORMAL OFFICERS! Command Captains who don't pay attention to comms Battle captains Captains who wear their space suit on green Captains who jump through an uncalibrated teleporter round start and get lost in space (bonus points if you lose the nuke disk while you are at it) Captains demanding the bridge be made into a fortress round start When there is no captain and the HoP refuses to become acting (bonus points if you give the clown enough time to break into the captain's office and make themselves the captain cough @Penguinizer honk) HoPs who give out all access to random people for 'the lulz' HoPs who open more clown/mime slots for no apparent reason (bonus points if they hand out extra access to these clowns) Any head sticking on the bridge for the entire round and not watching over their department in any way Bridge assistants every single round (every once in a while for a random person is fine, just not the same person multiple rounds in a row) Redshields NT Rep/Captain assfaxing CC (and eventually being cluwned, BSAed or killed in some other horrible way) Supply Chaplains who aren't creative and try to make a pseudo-cult based around murder Chaplains who pray for superpowers because it is needed for their 'holy crusade' "DEUS VULT" chaplains in general Following on from the last one, battle chaplains Chefs who make nothing and run off to greytide with a knife Chefs who throw themselves in the gibber Bartenders who don't actually serve drinks and run off to do nothing Barbers who run around thinking it is a license to dye anyone and everyone they see an eye burning neon colour (at least get people to pay for dye hits, make a business out of it) Botanists who make dangerous/toxic fruit and hand it out to the public Botanists who make bluespace fruit and hand it out to the public Botanists who make tesla fruit and throw it in any crowd as soon as they get the chance Botanists who make throwing omega weed and then proceed to put it down in escape, ending in at least one person throwing it and melting the faces off of at least five people and possibly killing many

Horrible colours and/or colour combos on people's charaters that are either and eye sore or just a bad choice in general. Someone needs a lession on colour theory.

Man I hate the "DEUS VULT!" type chaplains. Even on normal rounds. Something about their air of validity makes my skin crawl.

"I'm a tough guy, I can handle it!" (Mash *scream hotkey through the entire surgery) "Whew, that wasn't so bad!"

Scrambling ERT Seuss 1.

when you are killing the captain for his authentication disk but a antaghunter comes and shoots you once, knocking you down and ruining your antag round. bonus points if you hit them 5 times with an esword. (high salt)

Janitors who leave the floors wet. Just use space cleaner instead. Blood trails aren't annoying. Having to slow down, or slip, is annoying. Janitors shouldn't be annoying. Their job (cleaning the floors) generally isn't as important as other peoples' freedom of movement. Exceptions: cult rounds, blood-transmission viruses, etc. Clowns. Their pranks are rarely amusing. Most of the time, they're a waste of space at best. Many of them seem to treat the job as little more than a license to be annoying and mess with people. That isn't what Clowns should be. A clown should strive to entertain everyone else, not just themselves. Player-controlled pets who steal items, and otherwise act in implausible ways. Bonus points if someone kills them for it, and they ahelp afterwards. Doctors who don't know how to treat injuries. If you're new and need to practice, that's fine. Use a monkey. Or a civilian. Don't be the person who keeps the HoS under for 20 minutes while you figure out he needed mutadone. By that time, security has likely fallen to pieces. Mimes who break into everything. Fair enough if you're an antag, but just for once I would like to actually see a mime that mimes things. People treat it as a license to greytide, which it shouldn't be. Civilians who run into maint as soon as shadowlings are called out, in order to get thralled. Captains who don't know how to do their job. E.g. run around wearing their space suit on green. Characters who are IC-racist towards other species. Why would such a person even take a job on a station as diverse as the Cyberiad? HOPs and QMs who make you fill out forms for harmless, trivial things. Do you enjoy wasting other peoples' time? That's the only explanation I can think of for this. Security officers who run around with tasers out, especially on green. Inevitably, they encounter a clown, and lose their weapon. Wardens who insist on riding around the station on the secway. AIs who bolt upload without a good reason. Botanists who distribute bananas / banana peels. Bartenders who don't man the bar, but then scream bloody murder if you hop back there to make your own drink because they are too lazy to. Anyone who says 'Captain' to the Captain in the hallway. If it was important, you'd have PDA'ed them earlier. "Captain!" requests are usually not something that requires the Captain's attention. Usually, they're just bugging the Captain because the Captain is there, and they can't be bothered to take it to the proper person. Cultists who get caught 5 minutes into the round, thus ruining stealth for the rest of the cult, before they've converted anyone. Wizards who try to act friendly. You're a wizard, dammit. HOPs who go unresponsive 10 minutes into the shift. Brig Physicians who act like sec officers with medical access. Chaplains who act like a cross between a sec officer and Van Helsing, monster hunter. Robotocists who make unauthorized AIs. Xenobiologists who let their monsters roam free with no authorization or even warning. Medical Chemists who don't stock the fridge.