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Greetings! For your viewing pleasure, I present to you a short GIF showing the most efficient method of applying thermal paste to a CPU: Note that while Hellman's is the recommended brand of thermal mayo paste, you can use other brands such as Heinz instead.

Made a barber shop with my vox till the clown ruined it

Shit like this makes me wish I didn't retire so I could ban you for making me watch that with my own two eyes

REMEMBER, CREW WHEN YOU PATROL ALONE, YOU PATROL WITH SHADOWLINGS

A particular slime that also knows every gateway mission and every fancy item location A particular slime that breaks into the gateway (along with others) when they find I am HoP.

Believe me my drawing ability should be classified as a crime against humanity. Just about the only thing I can draw well is a really detailed human face, and that's mostly through muscle memory. Don't even remember where I learned to do it but I can. In any case if I save up some extra money down the line I'll come knocking.

When people roleplay a spoken accent and keep the accent when they write something in character such as a PDA direct message.

A particular slime that also knows every gateway mission and every fancy item location.

Hello players of Paradise station. I've been enjoying this fine server for a few months now. I didn't think to make an account on the forums until now. I have lots of experience with many of the jobs, but still require help learning some! I hope to get to know you guys well.

Do they decide that they are now the real Slith and all other Sliths must bend the knee?!! *Hiss!!!

Mmmm cheese burgers.

Hey there, I'm SarjBeorn, player of Graham Walker Koenig and sometimes the inimitable Engibot/Securitron H.A.M.M.E.R.! I recently got back into SS13 when a Texicus/BlackPantsLegion LP came up in my Youtube feed. I watched the exploits of Randolph Percival Checkers, laughed, cried, and came back.

The Beginning: The shift starts as normal, crew-members start working, chef starts cooking and Sec starts harassing innocent assistants, overall, a normal beginning of a shift. At about 12:15, an announcement comes in stating that rebellious groups have formed from Tajarans and IPC's wanting to break free from the 'oppressive' rules by Nanotrasen. About five minutes later, I become an informant for security. I was being a good and subtle informant, asking pointed questions about any suspicious Tajarans, since I play as an IPC. As time rolls along, we get more announcements tightening the rules on Tajaran and IPC crew-members. At this point, I was questioning on whether I was helping or hurting the station when this announcement blares over the intercoms. This was the final straw, I decided that I would go rogue and help those being oppressed by Nanotrasen's orders. Time passes by and I stop answering to security. But at about 12:40, an IPC named E.P.E had repaired the white ship and was taking IPC's to it. We were doing these communications in trinary and had security flatfooted on catching us. But then the announcement that we Neither trinary or the native Tajaran language could be spoken and we were having our conversations translated by the HoS's PAI Syre. We had to move to using PDAs and being picked up by pod or making it over to the ship by foot, or whatever you would call it. The first to arrive was the vox, Riki, Then S.P.E.C.T.R.E (me) and K.Y.L.A soon after, we both accompanied each other to the pickup point. Eventually, about 8 or 9 made it aboard and we were ready to roll, but we needed supplies. Also, by this point, the HoS Stated that it wouldn't arrest because an IPC or Tajaran was speaking in their native language. Preparing for takeoff: By the time this was all said and done it was about 13:15. We needed fuel and a way to recharge, so I made a run onto the station and got away safely without being harassed, a sec officer did snap his fingers at me but it wasn't bad. Once that was done, a long range radio was on the bridge and a distorted voice spoke to us. It stated that it could help us with some of our problems. So we agreed and listened to it, It gifted us a charging station for us IPC's and gave us locations for refueling and refurbishing our ship. We were then deciding on the new ship's captain and laws that we would follow. Once that was done, we assigned ourselves roles and prepared for takeoff. Takeoff: We went into deep space and prepared to travel to the coordinates, we would have a hell of a journey ahead of us, serving our benefactors against Nanotrasen. We would be in for a hell of a time in our uncertain futures to fight for our rights and freedom. The final crew ready for takeoff and the journey ahead

You read too much SCPs, son.

The Space Wizard Federation's finest. "The Space Wizard federation says "aloha". That's "see ya" in french, assholes."

Ahh, thanks everyone! I just woke up and seeing all the positive comments was an amazing way to start the day. I'll be sure to post more SS13 art here in the future! Something from discord yesterday: Doctor Rahkeeki, MD (owned by Ralta on the discord, I don't know his forum account name. haha)

nothing i haven't seen before B)

So there I am last night, Chief Engineer again with a pretty good crew. Which is good, because the order comes down from CentCom: build the dreaded Bluespace Artillery. We swing into gear, making RCDs for everyone and building a room south of Secure Storage to hold our science project. Takes us quite a while, mainly due to lack of Bluespace crystrals, and meanwhile there's apparently vampires on the station. Whatever. Between the BSA project and the inevitable hull breaches I'm way too busy to care about a few bloodsuckers. Most of the station, however, does not share my opinion- after the Captain and HoS decide to parole the captured vampires there was a great hue and cry, with the Chaplain leading the call for a crusade against the bloodsuckers and preaching hellfire and damnation over the radio. About this time we finish the artillery and I go looking for a GPS to test-fire it, which takes waaaay longer than it should have. In the meantime, the admins decide, in the spirit of jolly fun, to declare that nobody will be punished OOC for participating in the Crusade. Cue, of course, a lynch mob making its way towards the Brig- either the vampire never actually got paroled, or he was in protective custody there. About that time I finally get the GPS out into the Toxins testing area and get clear. My second, Reyes, and I have the following conversation over the radio: CE: "Okay, lock on to the GPS called FIRE." Reyes: "...I'm at the console. It's already been fired." CE: "Wait, by who? At what?" (Someone on common): THE BRIG JUST BLEW UP!!! Random, mild mannered mechanic: DEUS VULT, BROTHERS! CE & Eng, and whole department: Shit. Utter fucking chaos ensues. We run to the BSA with murder in our eyes, find it empty, then run to the brig to try to fix it, while the station command structure tries to find out who's dead and who's alive. The other vampire is running for his life, the mob is still baying for blood, and the only good part of the whole picture was that the Chaplain seemed to have been caught in the BSA blast. We're trying to patch things up when a voice comes over Engi coms: Unknown(Engineering): Thanks for leaving secure storage open, brothers. Whole department: SHIT! This time he got Medbay. Like, all of it. I get to Engineering with my welder out. Reyes meets me there, fire axe in hand. No words need be spoken. We run down to the BSA, the mechanic runs, and suddenly there are carp. Because of course there are carp. And xenomorphs all of a sudden. The carp finish me and I spend the rest of the round in deadchat... ...but I do get to see, from beyond the grave, Reyes catch the mechanic, chop him into pieces with the axe, and put his head outside Engineering as a warning to- well, I'm not sure who. But it needed to happen. That's it, except that this is the kind of story I feel compelled to end with, "and that's how it all happened, Your Honor."