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A shift had been going on for long without a captain, apparently things hadn't been running very smoothly. There had been some major power issues on the station, and CentComm had apparently reported detecting unidentified life signs on the station. I arrived, filling the role as Captain Iro Marik. I received my equipment from the Head of Personnel, who was acting Captain at the time, I requested that the CE got the station's power back to normal, and that the HoS sends security out to find the source of the unidentified life signs. CentComm only said we didn't know what the source was, as far as I knew we had no reason to believe it was harmful, so I requested that security only shoots what it finds if they pose a threat. A short while after, two people suddenly appeared on the bridge, Sheshi Skalas and Eerihawk. They immediately started spreading alien resin on the floor, I didn't think much of it honestly. Weirder things have happened on the cyberiad, I just let them out since they weren't interested in taking anything. I honestly thought it was just science messing around with something which caused them to teleport there. Shortly after that though, CentComm informed us that the lifesigns caused a big "blip", immediately after that, a member of security reported spotting a xenomorph "Alien Praetorian" The security member stated that it didn't seem hostile, so I insisted they do not fire or harm them until we're sure they're a threat. They were then found in Medbay, along with Seshi and Eerihawk. Despite the HoS favoring a "shoot the unidentified aliens immediately" approach, they tried to contain the situation and keep civilians out. I came to see things and try to negotiate with the aliens. Apparently, Seshi and Eerihawk were "claimed" by them, and could then speak their language. The aliens could telepathically communicate with me, and I could also communicate with them as long as I used a megaphone. They declared they wanted peaceful relations, and so long as neither they or anyone claimed by them was hurt, they meant no harm. I invited them to the bridge to negotiate, and fax centcomm. CentComm informed me that all of their attempts to study alien evolution have ended with "catastrophic failure" so they wanted us to study them, meanwhile the crew was growing unsettled and wanted us to kill the aliens. The HoP was also providing us with a scary amount of weaponry... I had ordered HoS to ensure their safety, the HoS wasn't a fan of what was happening but they still complied. The blueshield and RD also did not like this at all, but I kept negotiating. The aliens informed me that they wanted to find their empress a home, one with "furry hosts" so they could breed. While the rest of the crew were thinking they wanted Vulpkanins to eat, I thought of offering monkeys. Luckily, that is what they meant. I thought NT could easily provide them with a station and monkeys. The crew's riots were steadily increasing, and so was command's distrust in me. The CE had constructed the BSA under NT's request in record time, and security recommended using it on our guests. We had also received an enemy transmission from the spider clan's Grandmaster Chang. He offered 100 thousand credits should we kill the xenos, however I was sure NT would offer more if we were able to study them and make peace. I didn't want to go against NT, so I insisted security kept them safe while the RD studied them. The RD, very unhappy with the situation performed tests on the hunters, drawing blood, giving them alchohol, ect. The Praetorians then informed me that their Empress had arrived on the station, in Xenobiology. We continued experiments and negotiations there, as I went to fax centcomm our findings, command was very displeased with me as the riots grew. Eventually they came to a vote of no confidence, all of them voting me out of the role of captain, and demanded my head. As that happened, Grandmaster Chang had sent another transmission. His spider clan was going to attack to kill the aliens. I thought I was a goner, having to deal with the aliens, Chang, and the rest of the crew. As it turns out, the abundance of weapons the HoP had were due to the efforts of cargo, they had been stocking up on weaponry since the discovery of the unidentified life signs. The crew, after declaring mutiny, formed a stronghold and branched off from NT to create Cargonia with the weapons. I knew my only hope would be the aliens, who I was still on good terms with. Cargonia wanted my head and the aliens dead, so did Chang, but due to miscommunication, the spider clan and Cargonia were too busy fighting each other to reach us. I hurried to the aliens, watching crew members burn as they fought the spider clan. At this point I didn't care, they wanted my head and I was probably getting a peace prize if I managed to get the aliens out. I had already called the shuttle beforehand, I informed the aliens of what happened and how we needed to escape. They vowed to protect me, and so we made our way to the shuttle. Chang didn't expect us to have a stronghold as strong as Cargonia, and so his forces were defeated. The crew desperately wanted me and the aliens dead, and with Chang gone they made their way to me. Several members of security blasted me with shotguns, I barely managed to make it to the shuttle. I had told the crew that those who didn't want to hurt the aliens were welcome to escape with us, and a few came peacefully. The security team was unable to kill me or the Aliens. The Praetorians were too strong. And so I was on the shuttle, collapsed. I uttered one last "See you later fuckers" before an alien hunter helped me up, I was somehow not about to die. Thus, Chang's forces were defeated, the station nation of Cargonia was left behind, and the captain managed to escape to CentComm with his new found alien allies. The End.

- Clowns. Their entire existence annoys me. ~Slipping crew and stealing stuff from them, causing shit for no reason, constantly coming back to the Captain or HoP to ask for all access. ~Committing actual crimes, then trying to incite riots when they get brigged. (Looking at you, "kidnap-prankers") ~Breaking into places for tools or chemicals that they shouldn't have neither should they know how to make or use as a clown. ~Getting acid bananas or lube for any reason when they are not a traitor. Stop it. Get some help you sadist. - Botanists. ~Ignoring the chef, making no food items and instead mass producing weed or death nettles. ~Finding out there's shadowlings and producing leaves that light half the station or glowshrooms that they place everywhere. Kinda ruins the round for the slings. ~Acid bananas. - People who commit crimes when they are not an antag. ~Not including the general assault on a shitler, more focusing on the people who break into places for stupid reasons. ~Breaking into Security for the sole purpose of wandering around and letting people out. ~Breaking people out of their cells. ~Breaking into Security when not an antag. ~Breaking into Genetics for a monkey or for powers. ~Crying or killing themselves when they get caught and put in a prison cell. ~Being forced to treat the prisoners who keep breaking out of cuffs and killing themselves as Brig Physician because it's part of my job. ~Those who incite riots because they were brigged for completely valid reasons. ~Screaming at Security for ruining their fun even though they're just doing their jobs and their "fun" was breaking space law. - People who neglect their job duty to do other stuff. ~Doing telescience when not part of the Science department, then proceed to steal high security items and kidnap people using it. ~Refusing to make food as the Chef, instead using the position to just make blood soap and smear it across the station when not part of a blood cult. ~People who throw all job integrity out the window to let their friends or "kin" into high security areas just because they are the same species or their characters have an in game relationship. (Slimes, Vox, Humans, Vulps. Usually the Captain with their Civilian buddies.) ~Giving anyone access for any reason that isn't giving them an actual job which requires it. (Bridge Assistants, Waitresses, Lab Rats.) ~Command staff who get assistants when not needed, just so they can make the assistant do their job and neglect their duties. (Usually the HoP.) - Madilynn Drago ~Not that I wanted to name and shame, but Jesus is she annoying. ~"Tawks wike this aww the time" ~Madilynn Drago does a cry. ~Madilynn Drago cries. ~"Why you take Madi's ducky?" When being searched. ~"I did nothing!" When being arrested for breaking into the Captain's office to steal the fucking duck which can be found in the dorms bathroom. ~Breaks into Genetics to get the small gene, or becomes a Geneticist purely to find the small gene, then goes off to greytide all shift. ~Runs into the HoP office under the desk with the small gene, then screams when she's batonned and/or arrested. ~Cat ears. ~Madilynn Drago does a cry. - People who break into the Gateway at the very start of the shift rather than rush to the HoP office to get one of the (usual) three explorer jobs. ~Causes unnecessary Detective work and also wastes Security's time while they search for the idiot. ~Usually ends up electrifying the door so those who try to get in legitimately get shocked when they try to enter. ~Can easily get access but decides to break in anyway because they can't be bothered to actually interact with another player. - Expanding on the last point: People who break into the Gateway while it's bolted and depowered. ~Usually, this is during a Quarantine or Red Alert, which both state that Gateway Excursions are not allowed. ~This also, usually, results in calls for the AI to be destroyed for being a "Useless piece of junk" for following Standard Operating Procedures and/or their lawset. ~Also causes unnecessary Security/Detective work during a situation which requires them to focus on other issues, such as whatever is causing the Quarantine/Red Alert. ~Why the hell would you break into a bolted and depowered Gateway after being told there's Terror Spiders on the other side? /end salt

When prisoners cause a ruckus over a 5 minute sentence. When God doesn't answer prayers. When ERP isn't allowed.

As HoP, early on I wanted to make a stargate style crew to explore gateway, get mission reports and stuff from, and have fun RP with it. It does not end up that way. Either people don't care about getting access, because "I have other stuff to grab and prepare in the seven minutes before gateway turns on" and doesn't even care to get access from me, or they play along to get gateway and EVA access, and then I never hear from them again, until late game I see them walking around with their "sick loot" My biggest pet peeve is the powergamers. besides that, is the people who come to my lineup to ask to change to another job, and are shocked that they require the authorization of the appropriate head, or things along that line, as if I'm supposed to "just do it". Or the people who ask for more access to other jobs so they can "just do them, it faster"

will this suffice?

First time playing as a clown I was just honking near engineering when a scientist walks up and hands me a teleporter he tells me how to use it and then *poof* stuck in space between gravity. Probably my favorite way I have died.

The law of gravity is here

I think ragin' might be better as the actual game-mode, with a Major event being a single wizard, perhaps, with objectives not too unlike what the revenant has (Avoid being seen/torment the clown/help existing threats when they need it)

two Ninjas of the spider clan.

Wizards are supposed to be valid hunted If you hate wizards that much suicide bomb the wizard with a maxcap and end the round

The only objective a wizard has is to murderbone. It's just a free for all killing spree that lasts for over an hour with many ways to make victims unable to be revived. The only people who have fun in this game mode are the rampant validhunters and the wizards. Can we have wizards fixed already? Without any true objective the gamemode just turns into a slog of spectating the wizard hiding in maintenance then popping out and sending 4-5 people to the spectator zone. Over and over again for up to 2 hours.