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Gamemode Name Biohazard Operations, Biohazard Ops, Bio Ops. Brief Description/Lore The Syndicate wants to destroy the NSS Cyberiad secretely, instead of Nuclear operatives a new unit of Biohazard Operatives are sent in to plant a Biohazard onto the station and ensure it infests the station enough to be uncontrollable, they must also prevent nuclear detonation to secure Plausible deniability that syndicate was not involved Description Biohazard Operations is a semi-reskin of the Nuclear Emergency gamemode (Or Commonly called Nuke Ops), Instead of a nuke the Antagonists must place a Biohazard container on the Cyberiad of any Biohazard dangerous enough to warrant Nuclear Destruction.. But the canister must be activated using a NAD as a security precaution (The syndicate wouldn't want a blob eating their lovely outposts) Once the canister has been armed and detonated, A Level 5 , 3 or 1 Biohazard antagonist will spawn at the location with the goals of their respected biohazard (ETC Blob must consume the station), this would mean the Biohazard Operatives themselves are fair game like the crew. The Biohazard Operatives however cannot kill the Biohazard despite it wanting to eat them or gauge their eyeballs out, their next objective is to protect the Biohazard/s until a certain point where the outbreak in uncontainable and proceed to Evacuate the Cyberiad, returning back to base after a successful mission. Biohazard Operations will have a different theme as the syndicate are trying to destroy the Cyberiad without giving evidence that they did so, to prevent Nanotrasen retaliating, this means Hardsuits will most likely be different with the theme of preventing Biohazardous substances infesting the operative but weapons and gear will remain the same. To keep lore and RP fun only command and higher are aware of Biohazard Operations official existence, like deathsquad. Objectives Biohazard Operatives 1. Secure The Nuclear Authentication Disk and Arm the Biohazard Disperser. 2. The Biohazard is now infesting the station, prevent the crew from destroying the Biohazard. 3. Biohazard is uncontainable, return to HQ for debrief. Win Conditions Station is destroyed and Biohazard Ops escape, Bio Ops wins. Station is destroyed but no surviving biohazard operatives No one wins (Except biohazard). Biohazard is destroyed but bio ops escaped minor crew victory. Biohazard ops fail to activate biohazard major crew victory. Crew escapes but Biohazard is active Bio Ops and crew victory (The Biohazard fails). Pro's - Introduces a new gamemode to the rotation. - interesting stage based dynamic. - new factor of fear (Basically seeing a dude in a biohazard hardsuit in those dark maintenance tunnels will scare the daylights out of anyone, right?) - Evolution of Paradise stations lore (the syndicate wouldn't just use nukes you know, must be expensive.) Cons - Coding, Spriting and mapping will be required ( I do not expect this to be implemented in a short period, simple idea's are a thing, a whole gamemode is another) - Based off the Nuclear Emergency gamemode, basically making this a semi-reskin. Testing Stage One: Community Response. Like anything, there is a beginning, that beginning of this idea will first be based off the communities response and critics to the concept of this gamemode, like it? Dislike it? give your opinion! Community Response level: (Being calculated via comments and Polls) Stage Two: Staff Response Although the community is strong, there are always those far superior and grander then us, which would be the staff team itself. their word is law and so their opnion is highly valued as well. they decide this suggestion makes it through the light of day. Stage Three: Development After the vote is cast into the fire, If the community and the staff are in favour of this suggestion this marks the real beginning, Development would begin with simple designs for items ETC Biohazard hardsuits as stated above, to be tested on a private server to avoid killing the server. Stage Four: Improvement and Refinement After initial development and testing, Improvements can be made to balance the gamemode and its respected items. Stage Five: Public Testing After bugfixing and rigorous testing on a private setting, the suggestion may go up onto the server itself to see how the community responds and how it plays with the rotation. Notes Please comment what you like and dislike about the suggestion, what can I do to improve it? Did I miss anything that would require changing? was my grammer and spelling so horrible even the devil himself would burn their eyes out apon looking? let us know!

Hylo's How 2 Brig Physician - Doing the most with the least Introduction Hello, you're probably reading this because you're either not sure what to do as a brig physician, have thought about playing it, or just want to learn more about how to play medical effectively with diminished resources. While people frequently slag it off as a useless role, and people will CONSTANTLY be trying to do your job for you, when played well it can be a very rewarding job. To be fair, brig physicians are in theory supposed to only keep people stable and fixing to a hundred percent isn't in your job description, but fuck that amirite? Saying that, you SHOULD be adhering pretty rigidly to the brig physician's SoP. Most importantly - YOU ARE NOT AN OFFICER. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD YOU BE ACTING LIKE ONE. Just because you have access to the equipment in security does NOT mean you are supposed to be helping yourself. You are, first and foremost, a doctor - not a combat medic, not an officer with a first aid kit, put that stunbaton DOWN. If you are doing your job correctly there is NO situation in which you should ever have to touch a stunbaton, taser, or any other kind of weapon - the only circumstances where this is false is if say, xenos or terror spiders are running riot through the brig. Even then you should really be providing medical support instead of going ham. Keeping three officers alive is far more valuable than letting them get put out of commission so you can play the hero. I'm Hylocereus, AKA Sam Aria, and Brig Physician has been my "main" role for nearly two years. I like to think I've more or less mastered it and hopefully the tips and tricks I've picked up during that time will help other medical players, new and old. Saying that, this guide will assume that the person reading it has little to no experience in the role and is possibly new to medical in general. Feel free to gloss over most of the first sections if you're already quite confident. And check the wiki on surgery procedures if you really are a newbie because I ENTIRELY FORGOT to list them and how to do them. Getting Started, or "time to sprint around the station for the first 10 minutes!" The first thing you should do is familiarize yourself with your own little personal medbay. In your Brig Physician's locker you'll find some gear and first aid kits - if you don't carry these make sure you know where they are. You will run through these pretty fast on a busy round, so keep them close. Make sure you pick up your pepper spray and flash - these are your self defence tools, and the pepper spray in particular is very robust. Keep them in your Brig Physican's Vest, which you should be wearing as it's your own personal armor and can hold your analyzer. You have a sleeper, which will be your best friend assuming you can beg science to upgrade it. If you can't, then it's still good. Just a little more time consuming... Actually no, unupgraded sleepers are pretty bad, but it doesn't run out of meds which is the main selling point. You have a medical record laptop but this generally serves you no use. More annoyingly, it also blocks a table. On these tables are gloves, masks, a spare med-hud you'll never use because the one you get is way better, a couple more kits, a stethoscope and your medbelt. On the wall next to the APC you have a pepper spray refiller. And finally, a sink next to some beds and your locker. Pretty bare bones, isn't it? Obviously, this is a bit lacklustre and you'll want to get a few things together to improve it. Surgery gear is pretty standard - Do NOT take it from medbay. You need a surgery table and a set of tools if you don't want to ghetto it (we'll get into that later), both of which can be collected in about five minutes if cargo is helpful. First stop - Grab a security dufflebag, we need it for step three. Go to the tool storage and get yourself a set of tools. If you can't manage a full set, make sure you at least have cable, a welder, a wrench, a crowbar, and a screwdriver. Get extra cable if there's more than one IPC officer or multiple mechanical limbs. Everything you just picked up can be used to repair IPCs, mechanical limbs, fuck up and un-fuck windows, and remodel your brigbay. Second stop - Make a beeline for the assembly line next to engineering. If you're quick you can nab a toolbelt and welding goggles which are lovely for repairing severe IPC damage, usually though those will have been nicked by the tide before you make it there. That's okay - the main thing we're here for is the surgery table. There's also an operating computer, if you're not confident you know most surgeries off by heart. Take the console board out of that (nick wirecutters from the toolbox next to it) if so. Rarely, someone takes the assembly line operating table. This is annoying, but there's still the table in the hidden surgery above the security checkpoint in arrivals. You'll need to weld in for that though, so either get a mask or prepare to get your eyes burned. As a bonus though there's also an iv drip and a few o- bloodpacks - get these, they're very useful! Third stop - Okay, you have a table, tools, and maybe an IV with bloodbags. Remember that security dufflebag? Swing by cargo on your way back up towards the brig, and ask the first tech that actually acknowledges your existance to put a set of surgery tools in it. Faster than waiting for them to inevitably send your surgery crate to medical and having the coroner steal it or something. Printing them at the autolathe is usually not a problem at all unless the techs have been printing out a load of crap. First return to the Brig - Set up your table! If you need the operating computer, deconstruct the medical laptop and move it somewhere a bit less annoying, like up in the corner. Remember it has to be adjacent to a table to work. Tidy up, and shuffle things around to your pleasing. I usually stash everything except what I immediately need in the locker to reduce clutter. While you're here, remind everyone on secc comms to max their sensors. There's always a few people who forget, and keeping track of officers is important. If they don't do it, hunt them down and set them yourself. Fourth Stop - Okay, this is the last major one, and is the most important - Medbay! We're gonna raid the SHIT outta medbay. After asking, of course. Something major you want to pick up IMMEDIATELY is some pill bottles. These have been moved to the locker inside the little lobby area, two boxes of them in medbay. These are amazing as they can store fourteen of pills, patches, or both! It lets you carry basically everything you could ever need on your person - make sure to label them for quick use and keep them in your belt. You want to have in these pill bottles, in an ideal scenario - Bottle 1; 5x Toxin meds (Pentetic Acid, Charcoal), 5x Oxyloss meds (Perfludecaulin, Salbutalmol) + 4 more of choice. I usually put extra pent pills. Bottle 2; 3x Mannitol pills, 3 mitocholide pills, 3 mutadone pills, 3 strange reagent pills Bottle 3; 14 Synthflesh patches (Or if not availiable, fill this with Styptic Powder patches/Healing Patches) Bottle 4; This one's extra if you were able to get synthflesh - I like to have it filled with saline-glucose, hydrocodone, and some oculine if I pick it up anyway. If you didn't get any synthflesh, then fill this one with Burn Patches or Silver Sulfadazine patches. I'll explain why we want these specifically next section. Remember - use your own stock first! Don't drain the fridge when medbay's already low on supplies. If the chemists are good you're generally cool to take whatever you want, within reason. Go to the equipment storage and pick up the spare defib that hasn't been put by the cryo tubes. Sometimes the paramedic nicks this - If they do, just let them have it. Ask a surgeon nicely if they don't mind giving up the one in their OR. Be mindful that in high chaos rounds they probably WILL need this. NEVER take the one that the doctors will put by the cryotubes. RnD can make defibs, a miner might find a combat one while mining, or the cmo might even give you theirs. It's not the end of the world if you don't get one. As the brig physician, you still have the option of transporting prisoners to medbay for treatment if you don't have the supplies on hand. Just make sure they don't escape - taking a vampire out of solitary to medbay for example, is proooobably a much higher risk than you should be taking unless you have an escort. Make sure the warden is aware you're taking a prisoner for treatment or they may flip their shit when they notice an empty cell with a timer still running, or one less person in perma. Anyway, moving on - now that you (hopefully) have your defib, you want to either take a medvendor (Take the one near virology as nobody will miss it) or an IV drip if you didn't get one already. DO NOT TAKE THE ONES FROM THE BLOOD WARD OR SURGERY. Go into medical maintenance east of the psych's office, and look for the little room with a medical symbol - this room has a spare drip in it and since it's medical access locked with no other interesting loot in it, it's reliably obtainable. Go into one of the surgeries and grab an anaesthetic tank and mask to go with your surgery kit you printed from cargo. IF they didn't print you one, and you had to order a crate, these will be included in the crate. If you're not taking a medvendor, grab yourself the following supplies from one - 2x Spaceacillin syringes, 1x Splints, 1x Handheld Crew Monitor, 1x Health analyzer upgrade, 2x beaker, 1x dropper, 1x empty syringe If you could get mitocholide in bottle form from chemistry, you'll only need one beaker for your sleeper. Note; Speaking of chemistry, if you have strange reagent be aware that you WILL need either a cryotube or special pills from the chemist, as people revived with it will have severe cellular damage and slowly (or quickly depending how necrotic the corpse is) die despite your best efforts. Fortunately, the pills are pretty easy to make - 25/25 Cryoxadone/Cryostylene in one pill, 50 oxygen in another. Pop both pills into the person and it will induce the same effects as a cryotube after a few seconds. Perfect for fixing strange reagent revivals or even just emergencies in general! Now, haul all your shit back to brigbay. You'll want to shuffle things about and double check your pill bottles are appropriately stocked. Luxury items - Some brig physicians like to have a scanner, a cryotube, even a cloning bay in brigbay. I generally don't bother as I think prescanning is the cheesiest shit and officers are a lot more reckless when they know they can be cloned every time they fuck up, cryotubes are overkill, and the only things you -NEED- a scanner for are foreign objects lodged in the body or necrotic organs (though simple deduction will usually help with that if the patient is communicative.) And honestly, the only time it's hard to find embedded bullets is if the patient was already healed and you can't judge their location based on limb damage. Internal bleeding, dead limbs, broken bones and damaged organs can all be detected by an experienced medic without a scanner - we'll go over exactly how to do this in the "Why the fuck is this guy still dying?!" section. "What does this pill do?", or an explaination on how to use your supplies Okay! So real quick, we're going to go over what the meds and items we picked up are for. By default, your sleeper can administer Epinephrine, Ether, Salbutamol, Styptic Powder and Silver Sulfadizine. This means that using the sleeper alone you can only take care of respiratory, brute and burn damage, until it is upgraded. Make sure to have a stock of charcoal or pentetic handy, and meds from medbay to deal with complications. Use your sleeper for treating light burn, brute, or suffocation damage. Sleeper meds - Silver Sulfadizine heals burn damage on a one-to-one ratio of units to damage. No overdose threshold. Styptic powder does the same, but for burn damage. No overdose threshold. Epinephrine caps oxygen damage at 35 and heals toxins, brute, and burn damage IF they are in crit. It's not really any use on people who aren't in crit but it's great when they are. It has an overdose threshold of 20 units, and overdosing will stun and deal toxin damage. Salbutamol heals oxygen damage very effectively. It caps it so it can't rise any higher than 4, and takes ages to metabolize out of a patient. You can safely fill a patient with this to buy time if they're suffering persistant oxyloss. No overdose threshold. Ether makes the patient drowsy and has a chance every tick to put them to sleep - though they don't tend to stay out very long. It's helpful for subduing escape artists and you can use it for surgery if you don't have any other anaesthetics or painkillers. Note that your sleeper has another important function - Dialysis. Remember that beaker we got in medbay? Put it in your sleeper. It will cycle out reagents in the patient's bloodstream into the beaker (along with some blood). Use this for overdose cases, or when you really just need whatever is in that officer OUT and pentetic isn't doing the job fast enough. Dialysis, more importantly, can be used on corpses, making keeping people alive post-defibbing or strange reagenting is a lot easier. More chemicals can be unlocked in your sleeper with upgrades. Beg RnD to upgrade it, it will make your life much easier! Pills we picked up - Mannitol heals brain damage and is a cure for Brainrot should it break out. Prisoners often like to smash their heads in, and if you can't perform surgery for whatever reason in brig it'll help. Freshly cloned officers may stumble back to the brig with brain damage as well. You can fix brain damage surgically through organ manipulation on the head, but it's good to have on hand anyway. "Helpful" chaplains will require you to keep a handful of this on you. It has no overdose threshold. Mutadone removes all genetic defects and powers. Sometimes you'll get a shitter geneticist or RD dragged in and you'll need to take away their powers. Again, officers will often wander back to brig immediately after being cloned and might need this. Be aware that this will prevent Greys from using their telepathy. It has no overdose threshold. Mitocholide is very important to have if you also are likely to use strange reagent. It heals organ damage, and can be used in surgical procedures to debride necrotic limbs or fix dead and septic organs. If you can only get it in pill form, be aware that it works just fine dissolved in water. Remember the dropper I told you to get? That's what it's for - during organ manipulation surgeries to fix necrotic organs with mitocholide, there is a chance to slip and spill the mito everywhere. If you use a dropper this will never happen, and so it is very useful if you are on limited supplies. It has no overdose threshold. Saline-Glucose Solution is an underrated chem. It efficiently heals small amounts of burn and brute damage per tick, and because it takes a long time to metabolize out of the body it does an impressive amount of fixing for small dose sizes. It also has a chance per tick to restore a little blood, so it's really useful for patching up people post-brawls. It has no overdose threshold. Hydrocodone is the best painkiller in the game. It lets you ignore any amount of pain, which makes it great for getting officers off the ground in combat or during surgery. No overdose threshold. Oculine fixes eye and ear damage. If officers are a bit flashbang or flash heavy, you'll probably get a few prisoners complaining of sharp pains in their head. This will help with that. Sometimes a prisoner will smash his head in and make a mess of his eyes as well as his brain, while you can also fix that with surgery you can give them this as well. No overdose threshold. Pentetic Acid is your absolute best friend if there's spiders or other nasty venomous things. It heals toxin damage very effectively, as well as purges other chems from the body. It's a straight upgrade to charcoal, but it does also have a chance to do a small amount of burn and brute damage per tick. Generally, it's not enough to even remotely matter, but it can be annoying on people with robotic limbs. No overdose threshold, BUT it metabolizes quite slowly while working fast so use it in small increments. You don't want it purging the meds you need to immediately apply to a dude to stop them dying, which it WILL do. Charcoal is the more readily availiable toxins med - it heals toxin damage and also has a chance to purge each tick, but is not as effective at either as Pentetic acid. The main benefit of charcoal is it doesn't burn and it's readily availiable from medvendors, nanomeds, and toxins first aid kits. No overdose threshold, though like pentetic it's annoying in that it can purge other beneficial meds when used in tandem. Perfludecaulin is that one chem I can never spell the name of no matter how I try, but it's pretty simple. It heals all oxygen damage in like, less than a second. Very good stuff. It has a small chance of healing some burn and brute damage per tick, though I wouldn't rely on it. However, it does have two downsides - It will mute the patient, and it is addictive unless it is used in patch form. Always get patches if you can! For this reason it's good to still have a couple of salb pills just in case the patient NEEDS to be able to communicate or will be taking oxyloss for an extended period of time. It has no overdose threshold. Strange Reagent is a chem that is very situational, but is unique in what it does. Simply put, it revives the dead if they're not currently at a combined burn, brute and genetic damage of 150. That last one though is a killer - genetic damage doesn't show as a set number on scanners and using one strange reagent pill successfully is enough to incur that, meaning you CANNOT EVER use two strange reagent pills in quick succession without cryotubing the revivee in between. What happens if you do? Well... They gib. So don't mess it up! On successful revivals the patient will often have septic or necrotic bits so be sure to give them a thorough examination, and of course MAKE SURE YOU HEAL THEIR CELLULAR DAMAGE. Otherwise this will continually lower their maximum health until they die. Note that you can safely use it to revive people with 150+ oxyloss or toxin damage. It has no overdose threshold, but you should not be using more than 1u pills, as that is all that is required to make it work and it causes brute and toxin damage to living mobs. Synthflesh is the best instant healing chem for burn and brute damage, hands down. It heals in a 1.5x ratio of units to damage - IE, a 20u patch of synthflesh will heal 30 brute and burn. Pretty sweet isn't it? There's no overdose threshold. It only works as a patch. Not chems, but still important; There's more to your arsenal than meds of course, though they're a major component. You won't get far without your trusty upgraded health analyzer, of course. Use this to figure out what's making the dude die and then fix it. It'll give you a reading of what kinds of damage the patient is taking. Brain damage and Genetics damage will show as red messages - "brain damage" in some stage of severity, and "Cellular damage" in another message. These don't show exact values, but will say things like "slight" or "severe", letting you guess. If someone has been tampering with their genetics you can also see things like "Subject is showing signs of minor gene instability" or worse. This means they will take continuous burn and toxin damage, depending on the severity of the gene instability - you can fix this by administering mutadone. Your scanner will also let you know if someone is bleeding, where they are bleeding, if their limbs are broken if they have internal bleeding, their blood level, and what reagents are in their bloodstream. Splints can be used in an emergency to allow someone to either get to surgery or keep fighting a little longer. They can only be used on limbs, and will pop off with too much damage or walking. Generally they're just a stopgap until you can drag the person to surgery. Handheld crew monitors are great! Make sure you remind your officers to max their sensors, as with this you can monitor how they're doing as they charge into danger. Combine this with checking cameras and you can function as a useful overwatch for the security team. Call out where officers are taking heavy damage, if you spot them dead, or alert security when you see sudden heavy damage appearing on people. Trauma Kits and Burn Kits, okay stay with me here. Though these are frequently regarded as useless with patches being a thing, they're actually really good. They come in stacks of six, and each use heals 30 brute damage and fixes bleeding for the trauma kits, or heals 30 burn damage and prevents infection for the burn kits. They're the only source of instant healing outside of patches - their one major downside is that you have to target each body part individually that's damaged, as opposed to just slapping a patch on and forgetting about it. You also need a trauma kit for organ manipulation in surgery so make sure you have one in your surgery duffle. As a bonus, they can be obtained in advanced first aid kits or medvendors, so if you use these you'll very rarely find yourself low on healing items. You'll have quite a few of them in brigbay to start with. Note that preventing infections on the burns is actually a big deal - burn injuries are much more likely to get infected than brute injuries, and a small limb infection can quickly turn much more serious. I have had engineers come in to medbay with every organ and limb septic because they didn't want to fix that 20 burn damage they got doing whatever it is engineers do. This was Slith. Don't be like Slith, get treated before making your doctor scream in frustration. Spaceacillin we picked up to deal with that kind of shit, though. Note that a large amount of spaceacillin (like, 30 units) will over time fix septic organs, once an organ is dead the only way to fix it is surgically. No overdose threshold but use it sparingly because when you really need it, you tend to need a lot. The dropper I explained - it's for mito. The syringe has a few different uses, from injecting bottles of chems to ghetto blood transfusions. Please be aware of blood types and their matchups! That IV we should have picked up will help with bloodloss anyway. Make sure the stand is blue and it will inject into anyone you drag click its sprite onto. You can put more than bloodbags in it - beakers, bottles, etc work as well. The Defibrillator is for bringing back the recently deceased. Wield both paddles in your hands and click the body on help intent. Note that they must not be wearing a suit... And they need to be organic. When someone dies, you only have a limited window of time in which to use this - 2-3 minutes. Every second is precious. Be aware that you can reset the time until the heart becomes too damaged to defib by defibbing the patient successfully, so even if they die again immediately after, make sure to defib every other minute while fixing someone to keep the timer fresh. The medvendor, if we got one, is so we have a handy supply of various knick knacks on demand. The surgery table is pretty obvious - I'll go into how to use that in the next section. Stethoscopes, contrary to popular belief, are more useful than just looking fancy. If you use it on help intent targeting the patient's chest you can get an idea of the health of the patient's lungs and heart. It won't give you an exact value, but it's pretty easy to guess when it throws up messages like "You hear laboured respiration" or "You hear a weak, irregular heartbeat". Common and Uncommon Problems, or "Why the fuck is this guy still dying?!" Recent deaths - Don't let the defib timer run out! Defib and jam with an epi pen at the very least to keep their timer rolling! Conditions/injuries are shown with symptoms to the side. Need to figure out what's killing someone RIGHT NOW? ctrl+f Oxyloss, Brute, Toxin, etc Obviously, the first things you want to do are STABILIZE and SECURE. Jam an epi pen in them if they're in hardcrit, scan them to see what the issue is, then treat it. If you have treated all of their burn, brute, toxin and oxygen damage but there's still something wrong, see the list below. By secure I mean make sure they're out of the way of danger, or if it's a prisoner ensure they are unconcious or restrained AND taken to a safe location. Sometimes something happens and a prisoner ends up getting badly hurt and you need to rescue them. Don't disregard their life just because they're a prisoner - but remember that they might take advantage and try to escape or worse, attack you. Sometimes they will even do it on purpose. If an officer won't retrieve them for you, grab a pair of zipties and tie them before you take them away for fixing. Security officers are USUALLY less dangerous to help. In that case, securing would be getting them away from the danger, whether by darting into a firefight and dragging them into maint away from their attacker or just ensuring they're somewhere safe being treated. Note that doing the former is likely to get you shot or whined at if they're not already on the floor LIFE THREATENING - Treat immediately, all of these will cause death! Internal Bleeding - Shown on analyzer, Brute, Oxyloss, Low blood, high toxins in slime people Bleeding is lethal and you can run out of life juice pretty quick. Body parts with internal bleeding will always have some brute damage even after you've healed them - target that body part with a scalpel, and if you guessed correctly there will be an option for "mend internal bleeding". Fix it up and then see what else is wrong, as IB rarely comes alone. If you don't find it at first, target each body part with the scalpel until you find a prompt to fix it. Carry out the procedure, then scan the patient to check if there's more locations. NOTE: Slime people don't suffocate, instead they will take heavy toxin damage from bloodloss. Make sure you give them toxin meds and hook them to an IV of WATER while you fix them! Likely causes - Aggressive mobs like spiders and bears, getting shot, getting smashed with high damage sharp weapons, embedded objects, surgery failures Necrosis - Limbs may be shown on analyzer, Toxin, Severe pain Dead organs and limbs will continually poison the patient until they are fixed. The more dead tissue, the faster the toxins will rise, to the point where three necrotic body parts will out-damage the healing you can do to reverse it. Find the necrosis by using a scalpel on the body much like for internal bleeding until it gives you a "debridement" option. Select that. You will need mitocholide for the "cleanse necrosis" step. For internal organs, you will need to use organ manipulation and apply mitocholide at the step you'd usually apply a trauma kit. NOTE - THIS IS BUGGY AS FUCK. Sometimes you'll need to perform this procedure multiple times for it to work. Likely causes - Revived with strange reagent in a non-preserved body, untreated infection, lost limbs being attached after decay sets in Heart/Lung damage - Oxyloss, Heart attacks, Severe pain Usually caused by broken bones, this WILL rapidly kill if the damage is severe and allowed to worsen. A dead heart will cause a heart attack, and it will keep happening until you fix it. Dead lungs used to insta-kill but now will make the victim rapidly suffocate. Damaged hearts and lungs that aren't entirely dead will still cause the patient to take worsening oxyloss. Treat this with either mitocholide, or organ manipulation surgery. Likely causes - No internals in a vaccuum, severe brute damage to chest, broken ribs turning organs to paste Heart Attack - "cardiac arrythmia", shown on analyzer, brute, oxyloss, unconciousness, screaming Usually caused when a heart dies or a brain/heart transplant is performed, or an EMP goes off by someone with a mechanical or assisted heart. Apply a defibrillator then treat the damage the heart attack caused. Corazone can also be used to prevent heart attacks. If they go into cardiac arrest again, the heart is most likely dead and needs surgically repaired or transplanted. If the heart is removed - or an abductor gland serving as one is removed - the patient will suffer a heart attack. Likely causes - Transplants, Assisted hearts, severe damage to the heart, no heart Severe brain damage - Shown on analyzer, Oxyloss Note, this does not mean the kind of brain damage you get from cloning - this is REALLY bad brain damage, where something's absolutely scrambled the poor patient's grey matter. A patient with serious brain damage will be mute and unconcious on the floor taking suffocation damage from no discernable source. A few pills of mannitol is the difference between life and death. Brain damage by itself can kill - when a patient "seizes up and goes limp, expression utterly blank" they're brain-dead. You can fix brain death surgically, or with an ungodly amount of mannitol. Likely causes - Chaplain "helping" with his bible, Brainrot, broken skull, wrath of the admins Severe Bloodloss - Shown on analyzer, Oxyloss, fainting This generally becomes a serious issue at 50% blood or lower. At around 30% the patient will drop dead even if they otherwise appear healthy. Make sure you figure out the cause and get a transfusion in them asap! Slime people will need to be dosed up with charcoal or penetic, and transfused with water. Likely causes - Vampires, untreated bleeding injuries, Heparin, Internal bleeding Broken bones in chest or head - Shown on analyzer, high brute damage, Severe pain This by itself will cause a lot of pain but it also tends to turn the organs in each section into mush, leading to the above. Make sure you fix it before it gets that bad. Mending the Bone surgically, or doing a full organ manipulation (because the insides are probably not doing too great) should be done before it gets worse. Likely causes - Got robusted by something, fastmos blender, friendly fire Embedded objects - Brute damage, Internal Bleeding, sensation of objects being jostled in body part These are nasty and quite common where firearms are involved. Ninja stars are this on steroids and they should jump WAY up in priority for fixing, because they can kill a LOT faster than normal thrown items due to them doing a large chunk of brute damage every other tick. A patient moving around with objects embedded in them will take brute damage, have messages telling them there's something in them, and will develop internal bleeding . Guessing where the object is requires cooperation from the patient and checking the damaged parts of the body - use "Remove Embedded Objects" to get them out of there. Unlike debridement and internal bleeding the prompt to initiate this surgery is always there, so guessing it can be a little harder. In general, if it looks like they got shot there, that's where the shrapnel's gonna be. Likely causes - Syndicates, ballistic weapons, spess ninjas, juggling glass shards Memechems - Massive amounts of mixed damage, usually burn, reagents in bloodsteam on analyzer, may come with stuns and mutes If an officer gets hit with a syringe of memechems they're probably not going to survive to get to you, but in the event that somehow does happen, PURGE PURGE PURGE that shit as fast as you can and slap on patches to treat any rising brute or burn damage they may be taking. Slap a pentetic acid in them as fast as you can to try and get it out of their system and then dialysis, if your sleeper is upgraded to the point where it has both charcoal and pentetic keep spamming the buttons for both while you dialysis as then you're getting the purge effect of both chems and the dialysis clean-out. Just remember you need to empty that beaker. Likely causes - Powergaming assholes, botany shenanigans Spontaneous gene breakdown - burn, toxin, cellular damage, deformities, shown on analyzer This happens when there are too many gene modifications in a patient, and you will rarely have to deal with it as a brig physician but it's still good to know about. It will cause increasing amounts of burn and toxins damage, ramping cellular damage, and will kill left untreated. Treatment involves administering mutadone, and then using a cryotube/cryopills for the cellular damage as described in the next entry. Likely causes - Careless geneticists, unstable mutagen Cellular Damage - deformities, nonfunctional limbs, health steadily dropping for no reason Sometimes an officer or prisoner will get glomped by a blob. If that happens he's gonna have some of this. In addition, people who have been cloned in an unupgraded cloner or revived with strange reagent will have severe cases of this. The only cures are rezadone and cryoxadone - rezadone is NOT going to be something you can reliably source, so get the person to a cryotube immediately if you don't have cryopills on hand! Likely causes - Slimes, strange reagent, careless geneticists, cloning Freeze-burns - Steadily climbing burn damage, water pooling messages, slow movement, abnormally low body temperature Slimes can be killed within seconds with this, it's really bad. Coffee will help as it warms the body, or teperone can be used to stabilize the body's temperature. Scan the patient - if they have frost oil in them, or cryostylene and oxygen, purge it immediately. Treat the burns and ensure the root cause is dealt with. Likely causes - Space exposure, atmos fuckery, changelings, improper cryopill useage Annoying but not lethal - Missing limbs - body parts missing on examine Pretty self explainatory. Make sure you put them on quickly, because they will start to rot when detached from the body for too long. Attaching a limb is easier for an IPC or if the limb is robotic, just make them lie down and target the spot it should occupy with help intent. Note that a missing head is a much more serious problem and if it can't be found, the person cannot be revived as themselves. A head without a body can be transplanted onto another body though. If the original limb is not recoverable, robotics can make replacements. Likely causes - Explosions, sharp weapons Broken limbs - Shown on analyzer, can't hold objects (arms/hand) or move fast (feet/legs) Basic mobs always go for the extremities. This is pretty crippling for officers but it's not going to kill them, as loudly as they may protest to the contrary. A simple bone mending procedure will fix this, or you can pop a splint on there if you absolutely cannot right now for whatever reason. Likely causes - Fucking spiders/space bears/goliaths!, heavy brute damage to limbs, climbing on a table as it's flipped Blindness - Pupils unresponsive to light, blind, may accompany broken skull This tends to happen when something damages the eyes, as one could guess. It's a very annoying thing to have. Treatments can range from reviving dead eyes surgically, or administering oculine, or if the last two don't work give the patient mutadone. Likely causes - Changeling stings, severe head trauma, welding without goggles, genetic defect, flashes Deafness - Can't hear This is a really irritating one, as past a certain threshold it can't be fixed and a patient can be left permanantly deaf. There's no way to measure "ear damage" as it's not an organ, and there's nothing you can do to fix it except for administer oculine and hope for the best. Likely causes - Flashbangs, explosions, sonic powder, changeling screeches Muteness - Can't make any understandable sounds This one is pretty simple, it's always either a genetic defect or a result of chems like perflu and cap, though mimes are mute by default and some people like to play mutes for IC reasons. Fix the unwilling cases with mutadone if it's genetic, or by purging the chemicals that make them mute. Note that severely brain damaged individuals will be mute. Likely causes - Player choice, changeling stings, chems, severe brain damage Electrocution - Spazzing on the floor, burn AI ROGUE! Actually it can be several things, but it usually comes from prisoners fucking with the windows or people tampering with doors. Help the person up and treat their burns. Likely causes - AI electrifying doors, rogue drones/borgs/AI, touching shocked grills, Lady Tesla, botany shenanigans Unconciousness - horizontal sprite, snoring/gasping, shows on examine If they're out cold with no major injuries and they aren't SSD, you have cause for concern. Shake them a few times - if you can't wake them up, check them with your analyzer for suspicious chemicals or low blood. Treat the root cause. Usually if someone falls over unconcious WITH injuries they are in crit or are suffocating. Fix their injuries and they will probably wake up. If not, follow the prior instructions. Likely causes - Chems, low blood, drunkenness, atmos fuckery Bleeding - Trail of blood/water, shows on analyzer The amount of damage done to them may vary but generally you want to treat the cause of this because bloodloss is pretty bad. If it's an external injury, use a trauma kit to stop the bleeding and heal the wound, or a patch (though kits ALWAYS stem bleeding while patches don't always) - If the bleeding is internal, it's a much more serious problem as detailed above and must be fixed surgically. If it doesn't seem caused by any kind of injury, scan the patient for Heparin in their bloodstream. If it's present, purge it asap. Again, Slime people need to be transfused with water and will take toxin damage from bloodloss. Likely causes - Anything sharp, any high amount of brute damage, memechems Severely damaged/Dead Liver - Steadily climbing toxins for no apparent reason, sharp pain in groin Common with alcoholics. Mitocholide will treat a liver that's hurting but not dead, but organ manipulation surgery must be used to repair the liver if it's dead and you don't feel like cutting up monkeys for transplants. Likely causes - Alcohol, untreated toxin damage, bad viruses Nobody's dying. What should I do? Again, you're not an officer, so a lot of your time in the brig is spent not doing much at all. Your job, first and foremost, is to ensure the health of the people in the brig - specifically, prisoners, though caring for the officers is a thing as well. Keep them alive, keep them stable. DON'T get involved with arrests. DON'T interfere with processing. DON'T beg the warden for a shotgun. DON'T chase antags across the station. Retrieving dead officers is one thing, fighting the antag that killed them is another. If there are prisoners, but they're not hurt, sometimes something as simple as chatting with them keeps them that way. Being brigged is pretty dull, especially if you get perma'd early into the round, and prisoners are often quite appreciative of others noticing their existance. A prisoner who isn't bored shitless is less likely to try and break out or attack you. You can get some great roleplay with prisoners, though it's always a coin flip on whether you're dealing with a shitter or someone who appreciates the attention. Security are already probably going to be assholes to these people - don't add yourself to the list. If you've been taunting a prisoner all round and he suddenly gets out, you may well be in some trouble. Be mindful though, that you don't become too trusting of prisoners you don't know well. As the brig physician, you have an alluring amount of access and you really don't want to be fished dead out of perma by a disgruntled warden while everyone else tries to chase down the agent who now has your ID. As well as that, you may just be a doctor - but in the eyes of many, you're still tarred with the same brush as shitcurity and antags will generally treat you with the same sort of aggression they'd reserve for officers. It can be helpful to remind prisoners that you're not an officer and you're not going to be acting like shitcurity If there's no prisoners to interact with, the warden usually appreciates company. You can also help out around brig by keeping things neat, keeping evidence organized, tending the perma garden, watching cameras or monitoring suit sensors. If security is disorganized and there is no warden, you can also keep records up to date, though be aware that if there IS a warden they'll probably be annoyed at you for this unless they're utterly swamped with things that need done. If a prisoner has become deceased during their stay at security, and they were executed, ensure they are borged or morgued with a DNR tag - "Do not Revive". The coroner should turn over their things to the HoP, but if they don't, hand it in yourself. If they die from some other cause, security will often argue to just leave them dead. Discourage this unless it was clearly a suicide and push to have them revived. Corpses of prisoners are often left in the brig and that is NOT okay - that is willfully removing someone completely from the round because nobody wants to bother thinking about them. You might think it's okay until it happens to you and nobody cares that sec let a spider eat you in your cell. If nothing is really happening, you don't NEED to stay in brig at all times, though you certainly should be on call at the first notice and on red alert you'll probably want to stay at your post. Do NOT however, vanish off to the bar and do nothing all shift or not be there when you're needed. Remember, you're a loot pinata to antags - you have sec access and you won't be as armed. If you're wandering around alone chances are high you're gonna get ganked. And why would you choose a largely sedentary job when you want to run around everywhere anyway? Handling Dangerous Patients, or "wtf dude I'm just a doctor why are you hitting me?" Despite the fact you probably chose this role because you wanted to heal people, aggressive prisoners will often choose you to take their frustrations out on. Even a largely compliant prisoner might choose to attack you if you put yourself in a vulnerable position and they have something to gain for it - for example, if you are alone in perma with two prisoners. It would not be difficult for them to work together to take you down and then escape. Even if you consider yourself robust, people get lucky, and you can get unlucky. Disarm RNG shoving you over on the first click can be killer for example. There are a simple set of guidelines you should adhere to - 1. Maintain a working distance. Do not allow prisoners to come close enough to you that they can charge you without you having time to pull out your pepper spray and down them. Remember that it works from three tiles away. That is generally the minimum you'll want to have between you and a prisoner unless you are treating them. 2. Do not approach high risk patients without backup. If a prisoner has already taken a swing at you, they're going to do it again. If they are a vampire, even if they DON'T intend to actually do much to you, they are still capable of stunning you and running off or otherwise presenting a sizable danger you can't negate by yourself. In cases where the prisoner is a confirmed shitter, have an officer or the warden cuff them for you to treat. Don't put yourself in a dangerous position, since nine times out of ten perma prisoners batter themselves to get attention anyway. If someone is beating the shit out of themselves because they want to lure you to them, let them do it. Once they're on the ground in hardcrit you can just cuff them and drag them to brigbay. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. 3. Know what you can handle and what you can't. It's easy to fall into a false sense of security as a brig physician, especially if you generally have a good track record of not getting robusted or attacked. It's easy to forget that sometimes prisoners can be quite clever and you have to adapt to their antics to ensure you don't get hurt or baited. Your pepper spray is your best defence, BUT it won't do much if someone is wearing something over their face and/or eyewear. Something as simple as a bandanna on the face can shut down your pepper spray and that moment of "oh shit it didn't work" can be all someone needs to get you on the floor. Your flash is also pretty good, but it's not as safe because you need to be right next to someone for it to have any notable effect. And again, sunglasses pretty much entirely negate it. Sometimes you might get surprised by agents suddenly pulling things from their storage implants nobody knew they had. Sometimes the prisoners will use the soap in the bathroom to slip you as soon as you enter. Be wary at all times and if you think there's a chance, get a buddy. 4. Minimize risks. If there are three prisoners in perma and you need to treat one or all of them, ask them to go into their lockdowns. If they won't, have the warden and an officer move them there. The main thing that kills brig physicians working with prisoners is pack mentality. One prisoner takes a swing at you, and even the perfectly docile one that has been nothing but pleasant to you might decide now is the time because they might get in trouble anyway. The more people, the more likely one will get aggressive, and the more likely they're going to do serious harm to you. MAKE USE OF THE LOCKDOWNS. One prisoner is a lot easier to handle on your own than three. If you can't corral them despite your best efforts and don't get help, lock down an empty cell, and leave some patches or pills to deal with whatever is wrong with the wounded prisoner. Once you've left the cell, lift the lockdown and tell them to take it. If they don't, well tough shit, if they want to die let them. As well as that, make sure you are up to date on what each prisoner is. A changeling, rare though it is they're imprisoned and not killed, is a massive threat to you and should never be approached alone. Don't let them bait you. They're capable of healing themselves from death. A Vampire can be equally dangerous, but they can't regenerate themselves as reliably so if there's one in custody be VERY careful when fixing them. You can negate their glares with a blindfold, and you should. There is one in the executions chamber. A good way to handle multiple aggressive vampires (or changelings) is to have them restrained, then use anaesthetic gas to keep them under while you transport and treat them. They can still glare you if they're not blindfolded, but they're not going anywhere and you can comfortably handle more than one at a time because they'll be kept unconcious until you choose to let them wake up. Don't be THAT GUY who leaves them gassed for ages though. As soon as you're done return them to their lockdowns, remove the gas, and vacate the cell before they come around. 5. Know your patients. This one is quite important for knowing just how much of a risk they are. Key things to keep in mind - Why are they in here? What did they do? What species are they? Are they a vampire/changeling? Did they turn themselves in or did they have to be caught? Do they seem like the angry type? Have they shown signs of aggression towards officers? Have they been aggressive towards you? Are they talkative? Do they run around perma without acknowledging your prescence? Do you know them ICly? Are they generally friendly towards you or not? Are they typical greytide or a notable face you've seen before? Why have you noticed them before? Are they a fucking scientist because these guys will ALWAYS try to kill you? Are they carrying the soap? Do they respond well when you ask them to do things? For example, will they enter their lockdowns on request? Are they self harming? Do they keep trying to escape? Are they destroying windows? Someone who is happy to engage in conversation, complies with your orders and hasn't inflicted any harm on anyone is generally a lot safer to handle alone than the scientist who melted someone's brain, keeps smashing the windows so they can electrocute people with the grille and stares silently at you from the other side of the airlock waiting for you to come in. An unpowered vampire who turned themselves in and has been happily gardening away and has been behaving in a friendly manner towards security despite being locked up can still be less dangerous than than the greytide who harmclicks anything in reach, including themselves and other prisoners, despite having more potential to harm you. Be very aware of the potential risk a situation poses versus the probable risk. The above is a good example of potential risk being high with the vampire, and low with the greytide, but the inverse being true for probable risk. Make a note of potential/probable with each inmate. Sometimes you'll get prisoners who you can safely just hang out with in perma alone - I remember once I spent the whole round in perma playing blackjack with two vampires and a traitor. It's not common for that to happen, but it's always nice. If they're willing to play nice and trust you, you can let yourself relax a little too. Just be very wary that it isn't a trick. 6. Don't be an asshole. Inmates are people too. They will be a lot more likely to try you if you needlessly spray or flash them, treat them like shit, or refuse to help when they request and haven't done anything to be put on the blacklist. Talk to them a bit. If you can build a rapport with the prisoners you can push the probable risk way down, and make life less boring for both of you. Bored prisoners are destructive prisoners! If one inmate is being a shithead breaking everything and getting them all put in lockdown, the others are likely to be annoyed as well. Don't bitch at all of them for what one was doing. Also, remember for all that you can ask security to help you, you don't actually have any kind of authority over the prisoners or security or medical or anywhere else. Don't bark orders and expect to be listened to. Ask nicely. Even I'll slap a physician who tries to act like a drill sergeant. It happens more often than you'd think. Inmates like to feel like there's someone in security who actually cares for their welfare. If an officer is being an ass to them, tell them off. Protect them from abuse. Offer to bring nice food. Ensure their sentences are fair - work with any good IAAs or the magistrate here as again, you have no authority. Be there to talk to and keep them entertained if you can. Most inmates will behave much better for you if you treat them nicely. Greytide.... Generally don't care so don't waste your time. I remember once I was placed in perma as a mid-powered vampire pretending to be powerless. I could break out whenever I pleased, and was within my limits to kill the people who were hanging around my cell, but I decided not to because the brig physician was pretty cool and read me a bedtime story. Good times. (WIP - Will be updated tomorrow! Coming soon - Surgical procedures with ghetto analogs, diseases!)

To Prevent toxicity Here is some rules to keep the club a friendly environment and fun. 1. Don't be a Ass, Criticising someone is different then demeaning them and trashing them, be nice at least. 2. Keep topics in subject, this is to prevent a certain topic derailing into chaos. 3. No Flaming, no one likes to see a argument brewing 4. Have fun!

This was during my Brig phys round when changlings was turning people into shina hoonkins. I start out by doing the Brig bay run, breaking into the old maint surgery to nab the stuff inside for the brigbay (I nearly lost the IV Pole to a greedy Cargonian looking for stuff to sell off) After setting up the Brigbay neatly I usually parouse through peoples medical history on the medical laptop in the brigbay (I'm creepy yes, knowing all your medical secrets), anyway after a good amount of reports of people being turned into vulpkanins (Klees left the station with a lot of wives that round) I decided to ask the warden for a lethal weapon to defend myself with which they gave me. And so time passed I decided to pop to medical to get some more supplies, apon returning to my brigbay it is covered in blood and the security team was ATTEMPTING to remove a changlings head (Squashy) using my surgery kit, whom escaped via the disposal bin ( I had disabled the pump and such earlier, so it means they activated it while I was away getting medical supplies.) After cleaning up my beautiful brigbay, for some reason a changling attempted to kill the warden and failed, attempting to escape I rush out with my Lazer gun and we both, begin to kill it, after killing it the WHOLE security team rushed to brig and begin attempting to slash its head off (I had no knife but I was using my Vulp claws in attempt to behead it, being a vulp is beautiful in that way) After a good while, the head wasn't coming off, so I dragged it straight into my brigbay, plopped it on the table and began attempting to amputate the head, while security was yelling at me to hurry, after several failed attempts due to buggy surgery prep, I eventually behead the beast as security walk out like there was no problem ( I was furious from the constant bombardment from security as I attempted something stressful!) TO relieve my fury, I decided to gut the changling medically by removing its organs (except the appendix, aint touching that) and removed its brain from the bodyless head, putting the brain into my backpack. After a while I eventually escaped on the security escape pod, only for mike Murdock to stab me with a UE+UI injector of his DNA, turning me into a charcoal version of Mike Murrfox That's my story.

Infections are kind of wonky. Mild Infections do nothing, other than growing into acute infections. Acute infections deal very mild organ damage in organs, and spread to other body parts. In everything but the limbs, they advance to septic infections. Septic infections do different things depending on where they are: In organs they deal more organ damage, but still fairly slowly. You can see here in the time it took to become this badly infected the organ damage was still less than 20. Technically, this will eventually kill you, but in practice the infection in other parts kills you first. In limbs, they cause massive toxin damage very quickly... however, acute infections on limbs don't progress to septic naturally. The only way to get a septic limb infection is if the limb is actually severed and reattached, or its killed by SR. In the head, upper body, and lower body, once an infection hits septic the patient dies instantly. This is usually what kills people with untreated infections. But... they can be revived normally, and then the infection in that part has no effect beyond some discoloration. Lungs used to work like that, too. You died instantly when they broke, but then you could be revived and run around with dead lungs with no negative effects.

Look at those youngsters gettin' into trouble. WHO WILL WIN, Kei'Shen vs. Spark 5.5

⌂ Home > Appeals and Complaints > Unban Requests > [Declined] Banned by cyberiad_OS: Ban Appeal for FluffyVulp_SE posted Saturday, 3:56 AM (edited) REASON FOR BAN: The connection has been closed. Reason: "Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. What the fuck." This is a permanent ban. YOUR APPEAL: Okay. So I understand that what I did may be considered excessive to some, but let me tell you that it was not my intention to cause as much damage as I did. Though I can understand why I'm banned, I really don't agree with any of it. For starters why wouldn't anyone check the hidden wall in the brig? Sure, stripping the HOS of all his gear, turning him into a monkey, and tying him up with the cuffs and gag might have been excessive but he could've yelled or something. No need to bring the admin's in for an IC issue. I did not "set the PA to 3 and release the tesla" all I did was attach a remote signaler to the particle accelerator and set it to the most common frequency and waited for someone to activate it. It was just a funny prank, I assure you, and I had every intention to fix it, but security had already taken my rightfully-received all-access ID and stripped my engineering access. So if you think about it, it's their fault for not letting me fix a problem that only I knew the solution to. Why aren't they permabanned? I just think the admins have it out for me, imo. I also did not ERP. I don't see anywhere in the rules that prohibits me from running around the halls using the *squish emote. Is it because I became an obese human instead of a sexy slimegirl? Talk about a double standard. Absolutely nothing erotic was happening except me *squishing around at the speed of sound. All in all I think this weird ban is without merit, and just a sign that the admins don't like me. I've already raised these grievances in general, admin complains, in the official discord server, the unofficial discord server, some other discord servers, and among a bunch of friends who were also permabanned. I was also talking on discord with another player during that round and they said that what I was doing was hilarious. So I think I should be let back onto the server because I like it here, and also because I spice things up. I promise not to tie the HOS up with fetish gear and leave him in a slowly depressurizing room again. :) edited Sunday at 8:25 AM by FluffyVulp_SE ------------------------------ Part time wage slave. Part time gamer. All-time cool guy. THE ENLIGHTENED GAMER COALITION NOTHING IS TRUE, EVERYTHING IS PERMITTED re: Banned by cyberiad_OS: Ban Appeal for FluffyVulp_SE posted Today, 3 minutes ago Holy fucking shit. Is this for real? Please tell me I'm not the only one reading this. When we say "appeal in your next life" we did NOT mean willingly transfer your brain into monkey. We meant it more like "Don't ever come back because holy shit, what the fuck." You've been banned like, 8 times, each one more spectacular than the last. Honestly, if we didn't permaban you now you might've escalated to breaking into our servers and smashing the hardware itself. APPEAL DECLINED this is a work of satirical fiction. all references to persons and unban requests, accepted or declined, are purely coincidence.

Mmmm cheese burgers.

This one happened about 2-3 months ago but it's worthy of being told n I completely forgot to. I'll name this "Where's my office?" I spawn as Warden. No HOS. That's fine. Nothing unusual to start. Things are slow. About 15 min in a HOS shows up. His name is John Blennon -.- IC he says "Can I have a taser? Sry I didn't spawn with 1" Oh Lord I'm like "Why don't you take YOUR laser from your office?" Him "Where is my office?" Me (dead inside) "Let me show you..." I escort him to his office, he says "Thk u" I drag my feet back to my quarters. The captain is there. I salute "Greetings captain, to what do I owe the pleasure?" Captain "Hi...is my office around here?" IRL I'm like ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! Me "Not here...let me show you..." I escort him to the bridge. Inform sec what just happened on sec comms n they are like "Ohhh shit...one of these shifts..." Blueshield greets us at the bridge. While the captain inspecting thier office with the fascination of a young child, I pull the Blueshield aside. Blueshield "You look mighty fine in that skirt and sandals" I whisper "Wanted to give you a heads up, this captain and HOS literally did not know where thier offices were. We've got our work cut out for us...PLEASE keep a close eye on the captain and show them what's what" Blueshield leans in "You. Me. Bar. 12:35." I'm like "I'm busy, tend to the captain!" and stomp back to the brig. I'm dazed. Maya Stewart is there as magistrate. I inform her of the situation. She is like "Oh lord...let me see what I can do" and walks off. I'm starving, go to the sec lobby to grab a cup of chicken soup from the vending and while I'm standing there a nukie walks by in the hallways towards the bridge. I inform sec on comms, open the armory, grab a shotgun, and run towards the bridge. The captain and Blueshield have no idea what happening. I give the captain the disk, the pinpointer to the Blueshield and I'm like "NUKIES!". Blueshield is in the middle of the bridge and is like "Hey there doll, take it easy. You reconsider that date?" immediately after saying that a nukie with dual esword comes up behind him and decaps him. Clueless. I fire off a few shots before my agony is finally ended by the sweet release of death. Don't really remember what happened after that aside from the nukies successfully blowing the station up. I was probably furious and salting in deadchat. Maybe that's why I forgot to post the story. I may have blocked it from my mind until now.