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Lately, I've been seeing a lot of poor-quality prayers. Want to be sure your prayer isn't one of them? Try following these tips. 1) Don't confuse prayers with ahelps, faxes, etc. Anything regarding rule violations or OOC problems belongs in an ahelp, not a prayer. Trial admins cannot see prayers, so putting your report of a rule violation in a prayer, rather than an ahelp, may prevent admins from helping you. Any question about game mechanics belongs in mentorhelp, not a prayer. Let the mentors help you. Do not decide your religion is 'The Syndicate' or 'Central Command' or similar, and act like praying to these 'gods' gives you a hotline to CC/Syndi/etc. It doesn't. CC/Syndi/etc are not mind-readers, and these types of prayers won't be heard. If your character has a religion, make it something at least vaguely sensible. Prayers should be messages intended for the gods - and nothing/nobody else. 2) In general, don't pray for obvious material aid, especially aid that compensates for your mistakes. Everyone makes mistakes in SS13. Sometimes, you die as a result. That's part of the game. We don't want to encourage people to pray every time they think they can get some material benefit out of it, and as a result, we can/do often send lightning bolts instead of healing when people ask for heals without a really good reason. Instead of asking the gods for material aid, ask your fellow crew members. There are entire departments (medical, sec, etc) that are there to help you. Use them. 3) Put effort into your prayer. For example, assembling some objects in a pattern and praying for something related. RP a little in your prayer. Make the prayer about something that would truly add to the round, and be fun for all - not just fun for you. Low-effort prayers, like 'help?' are typically ignored. Higher-effort prayers are more likely to be answered. 5) Understand that there are many gods, and they range from friendly, through hostile, to insane. You have no idea which god will get/answer your prayer. Prayer is like spinning a roulette wheel. You never know what the result will be. Even two identical prayers, by the same person, in the same round, can have opposite results. You simply never know. If you haven't figured this out yet, that means prayers are HIGHLY RISKY, and generally not something you want to do unless you have no other options left, or you're RPing a religious character. For example, someone recently prayed to be turned into a dangerous beast with a secret mission. They got turned into a crab, with the objective to snip their claws at every head of staff. They were shortly turned into crab soup by the crew. Making a prayer is rather like asking a genie for a wish - it can do amazing things, yes, but you have zero guarantee that the genie granting the wish isn't malicious, insane and/or dedicated to granting the letter of the wish but not the spirit. There's also a good chance that the god answering your prayer will be outright evil, or simply choose to answer it in the way most amusing for them. Gods normally stay out of mortal affairs, but if you pray to them, you invite them into your life, and that will, quite often, end badly for you. 6) Understand that praying "I am bored" will result in terrible things happening to you. In a shift yesterday, the head of security made the terrible mistake of praying "I am bored, I wish something would happen". Shortly thereafter, CC announced an unusual event: "Many tears in the fabric of time and space have opened. Expected location: EVERYWHERE". The HoS' office alone contained three tears, and thus three tears' worth of monsters. There were 50+ monsters on the station overall. The entire security team died fighting a horde of xenomorphs through the halls of the brig. I believe the HoS' last thoughts before passing away were "why oh why did I make that prayer?!?!?". Normally "I'm bored" prayers won't wreck the whole station, or even your department. But they often end very, very badly for you. A crew member praying "I am bored" is rather like a mouse standing atop a human-sized chair, squeaking "everything is perfect. Nothing can go wrong now!" - in an apartment with several cats. It is tempting fate to an astonishingly dangerous degree, so much so that even clowns would recognize it is a bad idea. Y'know how people in movies say "nothing can go wrong now!" and then they die horribly? Same idea. Do not tempt fate. 7) The gods do not care if you are a Chaplain, or Clown. No, Chaplains are not more likely to get their prayers answered than any other crew. Chaplains work for their gods, NOT the other way around. A Chaplain who treats their god like a free-stuff dispenser will end up on that god's bad side fast. Clowns aren't taken seriously by their fellow crew, let alone the gods. Indeed, sometimes the gods love to see clowns suffer just as much as crew do. Don't think that "because I'm a chaplain" or "because I'm a clown" is a good reason to get what you want out of prayers. It ISN'T. If anything, higher standards of prayer RP are expected from Chaplains. 8) Good results from prayers are not always obvious Suppose you make an awesome prayer, and the gods grant it. Will you notice? MAYBE. Gods tend to work in mysterious ways. If you pray for a light source while exploring dark maintenance tunnels, maybe you find one in the next room. Was that the result of your prayer, or just luck? You'll never know. If you pray that someone finds your dying, crippled body, and then someone does... was that luck? Or your prayer? You don't know. If you pray that the Captain suffer for their gross incompetence, and later on, their office is blown up... was that luck? You don't know. I'm sure you get the point by now. Much of the time, responses to prayers that are granted will not be obvious. You won't know if your prayer did anything, and if so, exactly what it did. 9) Watch out for hints after praying. If an admin decides to send you a message in response to your prayer, the two typical ways it might appear are SubtleMessage (SM) and DirectNarrate (DN). SMs are prefixed with "You hear a voice in your head...". If you get a message like that, especially shortly after praying, take it as a tip from the gods. You don't have to follow it, but in most cases, it would be extremely unwise not to. SMs are typically sent to people who pray for help with something they ought to know, but don't, like an engineer praying for help with engine setup, or a captain praying for guidance about what to do when the station has lots of antags. If your character gets a SubtleMessage, treat it as an extreme life protip. Often, people who fail to heed these suffer greatly as a result of their own actions. You can ignore subtle messages, but it is very unwise to. If the subtle message asks a question, the best way to reply is by praying again. Most subtle messages won't be questions, though. DirectNarrates are different. Personally, when I reply to prayers, I tend to use DN to produce messages like "The Communications Console catches your eye." which act like hints. They're so subtle, you may not be able to tell them apart from normal game messages (except by looking at the game source code, and realizing there's nothing in the code that could produce a message like that). These too are usually ultimate protips, intended to help you without obvious divine intervention. The exception is if you get a message like "You feel a terrible [something] wash over you". A message like that indicates the gods may be cursing you for your prayer. If everyone suddenly has a wave of dread wash over them, especially if the message stating so is in bold, red text, that indicates that either a singularity has consumed a supermatter shard, likely reaching stage 6 and turning into one of the most destructive forces of nature in the game... or the dark gods are about to make life very interesting for the Cyberiad's inhabitants. Or a good god is sending a mass-protip to everyone that they need to have their wits about them in the near future, if they want to survive. That message can mean multiple things, but it generally always results in an adventure. After praying, watch your screen carefully for subtle hints. Look around yourself carefully, too. Items may have moved, or appeared, while you were not paying attention. 10) Cookies are not always your friend, but you should eat them anyway One of the many standard options for admins responding to prayers is to spawn a cookie. While the cookie is usually just a normal cookie, and means "we heard you, but we aren't going to do anything about that", there are variations. Some of the cookies will kill you, or turn you into a monster, if you eat them. Others may give you super powers. There is no way to tell what a cookie will do, short of eating it. If the cookie is cursed, throwing it away, or making someone else eat it, won't help you. It will probably just make your curse stronger. The gods really hate it when mortals try to turn curses placed on them to their own advantage. Such mortals typically end up as cluwnes or worse. 11) Max one prayer per round Don't pray more than once per round. The more prayers you make in a round, the more likely you are to get a bad outcome. The gods get annoyed by repeated prayers from the same person in a short span of time. One prayer per round might seem like a low limit, but consider it an incentive to make your one prayer really good. 12) Don't treat prayers as get-out-of-jail-free cards The purpose of prayers is NOT to give you some advantage that helps you out of a difficult situation. The purpose of prayers is allowing your character to ask, ICly, for divine intervention that will make the round better for the crew at large. Now that you know what NOT to do, let's look at some good prayers... As crew, with a terrible Captain and no IAA: "Lord Istomar, I pray, see this fool Captain suffer for their incompetence. They run around in their suit, for no reason, brandishing the nuclear auth disk, on green alert. They are an embarrassment to Captains everywhere. Amen." As a mime, tending to your fallen comrade, with incompetent medbay: "Divine Light, please help my comrade, Maximillian Arcturus, for they have fallen in battle with the dread spiders. Their body is wracked with poison, and their chances look grim. Medbay is overwhelmed with the injured, and you are their only hope." As clown, in a dull shift: "Great Honkmother, I pray, grant me something harmless but amusing, that I might bring cheer and HONKs to this dreary station." As chef, after some greytider murders all your animals: "Lady, the vile ruffian Joe Schmoe has snuck into my workplace, and murdered all my beloved animals. I beseech you for aid in bringing them back to the land of the living, or seeing Joe cursed for his attacks on the defenseless farm animals." As HoP, after Ian goes missing: "Great God of Paperwork, I have served thee in filling thy forms and dotting thy divine i's. I ask: help me find my poor lost dog, Ian, who needs me." As Chef, after an hour of Botany not doing their job: "Spirit of Summer, bringer of bountiful harvests, I beg thee: help me acquire the produce I require to bake my great feast. Botany has made not a shred of food this shift, and I am despairing. At this rate, I will never be able to feed the crew." Lessons you can learn from the good prayers: If someone needs help, explain why, and mention why you can't get help from the regular mortal authorities. If someone really deserves to be smited, explain why. And mention why the regular mortal authorities cannot do it. Always focus on how your request helps someone else, or at least makes things more fun for the crew (ie: players). Never focus on how the request benefits you personally. Don't be afraid to use old-fashioned and descriptive language. Remember, this is meant to be a semi-formal request for your god. Not a throwaway line. Make it obvious which god you are praying to, both by name (e.g: Spirit of Summer), and function/portfolio (god of the harvest), so the admins have some context for which god they might pretend to be while they're replying.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2018 2562! But on a different note, here's some other pictures that I haven't had a chance to post yet An "ID" picture for my DeviantArt account: and a slightly dramatic sketch with a cultist:

How are you? I had the chance (and happiness!?) of discovering SS13 a time ago but I was SO little and the English tongue, at the time, were as clearly comprehensive to me as foreign runes... upside down So let me introduce the dude responsible for this bank of inexpressive characters - I'm Lucas and my home is located in a big, big, big country called Brazil! For the sake of a more effective english learning major amusement I decided to join primarily the Paradise server; also because of the buddy of mine which usually plays in there - and vice-versa. And, well, I've had played this game as a confused citizen (but oh, wait, I still am a little buit) and, days after, found that I did work as a picture-addict Tourist, Assistant, Cargo Tech, and some of the otheer roles that only existed in my mind and, dude, that is awfully fun, if you ask me. The whole sandbox and RPG thing, the way you do it. We can't find it anywhere, you know? Now, I'm looking forwards to being an annoyingly inquisitive space sailor rediscovering of all the corners from the ship in order to see where I definitely do belong. WE HAVE A PURPOSE!! HAVEN'T WE? The man who's controlling Lucas Craters (and any of the other variations of randomly generated surnames beginning with Lucas) likes to draw following the Pixel Art style (similar to SS13's style but not identical), just discovered the magic of Moog synthesizer's old albums and likes to program little RPG Maker, Non-RPG adventures in rainy nights. See you around, it's a promise. Thank you very much!

Yup, no worries - then you will have to concur when it is said games like this are much more beneficial to our sanity and English than more than 40 presential courses Obrigado, BQ, you are a saint! Gonna read these before taking any of the jobs which are beyond my short line of knowledge (though I've been surfing through some very handy Wiki Pages) See you in game -! If you meet somebody doing any rubbish questions regarding noodles, you'll know who he/she is

Saywat_the_15th has retired from their position as Game Administrator/Community Manager. Jayfeather has retired from their position as Game Administrator. Joonasm has retired from their position as Mentor.

It's fairly early in the shift. So far no major threats to contend with. I am the AI. I'm doing my normal scans of high risk areas and my camera view falls upon the Head of Security's office. His locker is open, with his recreated laser gun just sitting there. Now as a crewsimov AI I generally don't care about objects which are traitor objectives, but a lethal weapon is a bit different. It's capable of harming the crew and allowing it to be grossly unsecured would quality, in my mind, as allowing harm though inaction. A lot of AIs would have made a snarky announcement embarrassing the HoS, but this really isn't A.N.G.E.L's style. Besides, an announcement would let everyone know it's still there unsecured, which would be unsafe. So, I simply PDA the Head of Security requesting they secure their locker. About 10 minutes pass and I check on it and the locker is still open, gun still exposed. So, I jump to the HoS to see what he's up to. He's attempting to Brig the clown, only he neglected to take the clown's PDA. The clown slips him on his PDA while they are both in the cell. The HoS gets up, walks off the PDA and proceeds to stuff the clown into the brig cell's locker in response. He then walks back over the PDA, which is still on the ground, slipping himself a second time. Meanwhile, in a rare display of camaraderie with the clown, the mime has gotten involved and is trying to slip security in the sec hall with a bucket of water. A security officer decides the best course of action to subdue the mime is to take an entire box of flash bangs and try to flash bang the mime. He accomplishes only flashbanging himself, resulting in him dropping the box of flashbangs, which the mime promptly picks up and begins using to throw live flashbangs at everyone in the security lobby. So to recap the trainwreck in progress: The HoS's gun is sitting in his office, in an open locker. The HoS is in a cell being slipped repeatedly by the clown's PDA. The Mime is throwing flashbangs in the security lobby. The entire time the Brig Physican is watching this unfold with, what I imagine, is a mixture of horror and amusement as he tries to explain basic brigging procedure to the Head of Security. The mime escapes, allowing Officer Flash Bang and the Head of Security to focus their efforts on the clown, which mostly involve trying to pepper spray him through his mask before giving up and simply allowing him to walk out without serving any brig time. After this, I message the Head of Security again reminding him of his unsecured gun. He obligingly secures his locker. I then reported all of this to the Captain. Now, A.N.G.E.L very, very rarely would do something like this. Rating the performance of command really isn't the AI's job, but I calculated that this security was so inept that not warning the Captain may constitute harm by inaction. It doesn't really matter much as I am ignored anyway. The clown proceeds to annoy the Head of Personnel to the point where the HoP calls for his demotion. Afterward, the clown begins sending death threats to the HoP, and is ordered to be arrested. Since he's threatening to harm crew, I decide to get involved. The clown isn't on suit sensors and have removed their ID, so I check the unknowns. I find a female humanoid unknown, and the clown is a female human. This unknown is running around with a bandoleer and a double barrel shotgun, with no ID, face covered, on red alert. I call for security to arrest him, but they are somewhat slow to respond. I notice he is wandering the halls and once he spots the HoP he begins to follow. I alert the HoP immediately, who runs to the Brig. Security responds, and the person begins to flee. I lock down the corridor, bolting all the doors and dropping firelocks, trapping the suspect in with two security, who eventually manage to subdue him despite the person releasing many smoke bombs. After being arrested it turns out my theory was correct and this person was indeed the clown. Security demands a medal for apprehending the clown, and the captain agrees. I am not given a thank you. Around this time, Central Command calls for the Head of Security's demotion, and he becomes a normal officer. While this is a win, it's balanced out by the one competent security officer on the team cryoing out of sheer disgust and frustration. You would think this would end his tail, but there is more to tell. Former-HoS suddenly orders me to lock down the brig. I jump to him and request he provide a reason why, that's not really something I'm going to do without a good reason, as locking security officers into the Brig is potentially harmful. He states due to Xeno activity. I ask him if he means the Shaft miner in the Xeno costume standing next to him. He apologizes. A few minutes later however, he starts yelling about Xenos again, stating he has a face hugger. He runs into interrogation and orders me to seal it. Interrogation has a a vent in it and it was unwelded, for the record. As you might have guessed, it's a face hugger toy. Well, I'm on crewismov, and his order isn't harmful to crew, so I tell him okay, I'm locking down interrogation, just let me know when you'd like to be let out. He again states he has a face hugger and I let him know he can just take it off his face whenever he would like. Command has started to get wind of this and is naturally freaking out, so I let them know it's a toy. Ex-Hos takes it off his face and orders me to release the lockdown on interrogation. I happily comply. Crewsimov. And then I got subverted and abducted by aliens, but that doesn't really have much to do with security, so it is here the tale ends. Probably one of the most interesting rounds watching security as the AI.

I once assisted the Chaplain in summoning Harambe a while ago. After we had like ten cultists chanting as the chaplain did a human sacrifice(Voluntary) the admins spawned in a monkey named Harambe and I can't remember what powers he had but he promptly butchered all his cultists because we forgot his bananas before sparking a stationwide manhunt through the tunnels.

Asking shit from admins is like asking shit from a genie. Think about how it could be turned against you before you even utter the plea that might curse you.

Without names. Vampire round, the officer went to the Bridge to get help with their absent HoS - the HoS caught him there, cuffed him and brought him to his office for demotion for "mutiny". The rest is explained in the first sentence. Security Officer asks, "You DO realize that the HoS shouldn't go blind, deaf, and hulk just to chase down one man?" HoS hollers, "I'M GOING TO DEMOTE YOU FOR TRYING TO USURP MY POSITION, AFTER I EXECUTED THE VAMPIRE THAT KILLED YOU. DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY IN YOUR DEFENCE?!!!" Security Officer says, "I just wanted to help make sure sec is fully operational" HoS hollers, "IT IS!!!" Security Officer says, "Since you were barely on the comms, and I assumed you couldn't hear at all" HoS yells, "YOU PERSUADED ME TO LET YOU KEEP YOUR POSITION!!!" HoS roars, "BUT NO MORE TALK OF MUTINY!!!" I karma'd this officer, though I doubt it revived his dead braincells

You're welcome. As I can see you are not very experienced. Here is the link with every guide on forum https://nanotrasen.se/forum/topic/8570-complete-list-of-forum-guides/ In case you didn't check that out before. See you in game! I'm also not from english-country, and people just ignore my shitty english. So don't worry I guess.

New story. One of the most interesting rounds I ever had as the pilot. Also a lesson to be learned here by sec who just wordlessly stun and cuff, and antags who just kill and ditch bodies. I'm the pod pilot. While I'm sweeping the exterior of the station there are several explosions and comms goes down for what feels like longer than usual. I head to tcomms to check it but comms comes back just as I arrive. Been using my GPS to navigate and notice a miner is at the derelict satellite, nowhere near the mining outpost. I go to investigate. Along the way I come across the syndie outpost with it's turrets already disabled so I decide I'm gonna hop out n check that out. While I'm trying to figure out the door a vox miner shows up in a space pod. It's Biki. We chat for a bit. Can't remember word for word but it was like: Biki "Is founds somethings strangies" Me "What?" Biki hands me a bucket Me "A...bucket..." Biki "Yaya at derelicts" I say I'll check the derelict when I'm done here, then Biki apologizes to me and hits me with a compact defib. I immediately go into crit cuz of my mechanical heart. Biki cuffs me and the next 5-10 min consist of them attempting to revive me. Me popping in and out of deadchat. I was dying laughing. After I'm revived I'm cuffed to a chair. Dazed. We chat a bit more and I learn they are syndicate and need to steal the AI. They are taking my gear but leaving me alive. They traded out thier space pod and EVA for mine and left thiers in space right outside the syndie outpost. I don't know if they did this on purpose to give me a chance. Biki leaves. The outpost is dark but I actually have a taser with a flashlight on me that Biki missed cuz it was in my holster. If not for that I would be using a zippo to navigate the outpost. After I get my bearings I decide I'm gonna go for it. I put internals on, put a table in front of the door to avoid being sucked out, and begin releasing pressure from the outpost. Once the pressure is somewhat stable I stumble out of the outpost and retrieve the mining EVA and spacepod. I head into the orbit of the station and begin informing the warden of my situation via PDA. While doing this Biki happens to fly by. I'm flying around trying to avoid Biki shooting me while PDAing the warden to let me in through escape. At some point Biki decides they will have better luck using a jetpack so they leave thier pod. After letting them chase me a bit I try to jump out of my pod and tase them. Success! But they just have had adrenaline cuz they popped right up. AND I forgot my cuffs at the outpost. Frick! We fight a bit out of our pods. They have a gun and hit me a few times, I desperately throw my taser to get away. Start treating myself with my first aid kid but I'm bleeding, broken bones, this won't last long. I float back to the station making security aware of my condition over common comms (I only had an engineer headset at this point). Biki finds me again. In a last ditch effort I rush them with my baton but they take me down with a few more bullets. I'm in crit. They cuff me, stuff me in thier pod, and dump me at the brig outside the podbay. An engineering Borg finds me and starts dragging me to Medbay. IAA sees me being dragged from the brig then grabs me from the borg and starts questioning me. Im woozy. I'm dying and tell them I need a doctor. IAA says "What did they do to you!?" That's all I heard before I passed out. I think the IAA thought I was an engineer that security nearly beat to death. In medbay I'm shoved in a cryotube. That stabilizes me but I've many broken bones and lost alot of blood. I start explaining I'm an officer and an EOC kidnapped me and stole my identity. That I fought with them in space and they shot me several times. Everyone is reacting, shocked. IAA chimes in "Don't worry, I'll sue them for you" They are gonna sue the guy who shot me. LMAO. Memes. I pass out again. Too much blood loss. Internal bleeding. Next I know I'm on an operating table with my chest wide open. I scream. The doctor says "Oh shit maybe I should give them morphine or something. Too late. I pass out due to the pain. Once I'm finally patched up I inform sec over comms that I've spent too much time in space and in surgery so I'm taking the rest of the shift off. Biki is glad to hear I'm alive over comms. Shuttle gets emagged while I'm on board. I don't care. Someone is throwing cigars everywhere but to my dismay all I have is a lighter. Round. Ruined. What's the lesson to be learned? My initial instinct when I saw Biki was to stun and cuff before talking. I assumed they were up to no good BUT decided to see where things went. Had I ended it there none of the other stuff woulda happened. Same goes with if Biki just ended my round and left me there. So for those who do, stop trying so hard, allow something interesting to happen. Because I karma'd the officer who gave me a holster early, I have a list of people I owe karma for this round. Biki. The surgeon, the IAA. I wrote all your names down and you'll be receiving karma in the future. I'd tag Biki in this but I dunno thier username here.

an illustration of B.E.E.R., commissioned by their friend as a christmas present!

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