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Nukie team is asked in LOOC if they want a meme round. Most of the nukes vote yes. Admins spend the next hour handing out baseball bats and renamed gear and IDs. Giving each person a "Class". I pick umpire and get great armor and a near instakill bat. Assault pod lands and take me out to the ballgame starts to play. The team heads to the disk and I head to medical. The sirens start. Home team lost.

A list of (most) weapons & their damages: I died in the gateway so I thought I'd do this. Did you ever wonder which was better in combat - a spade or a shovel. Well one is better at range, the other at melee. Below an almost complete list of weapons for those who care. LISTED BY Name - Melee Damage - Ranged Damage - Modifiers Misc Ashtray 0, 3 Ashtray – Bronze, 0, 10 Ashtray – Glass, 0, 6 Baseball Bat 10, 12, Knockback Buckler 10, 5 (30% block) Cardboard Tube 1, 1 Cane, 5, 7 Candy sword, 15, 10 Cash: 1 Cigarette: 4 burn Chainsaw (Diy): 13, 13, Engaged - 21 Sharp Classic Baton, 12 Claymore - 40, 10, sharp 50 block Extinguisher: 10, 10 Extinguisher - Mini: 3, 2 Flamethrower: 3, 10 Garrote: 2-3 Oxy plus stun/silence Glass Shard, 5, 10 Guitar / eguitar, 10 Harpoon 20, 15, sharp Harmonica, 5 Holosign Projecter: 5/7 Icepick, 15, 10 Katana - 40, 10 sharp 50 block Lighter, 5 Burn, 4 Brute Light , 3, 5 Match, 3, 0 Burn Phone, 3, 2 Picket Sign, 5 Plasma Shard, 8, 15 Pneumatic Cannon, 5 Soaps, 0,0 cleanspeed 50. Homemade cleanspeed 45, Delux 40, Syndi 10. Stool, 10, 10 Spear, 10, 20, Wielded - 18 Stunprod, 3, 5 Tank 5, 10 Toolbox, 10, 10 Whetstone, add 4 damage to sharp. Capped at 30. Wirerod 9, 10 Violin, 10 Antags Alien Claws: 15 Blob Blob Spore 2/4 melee dmg (lower/upper body) Blob Zombie 10/15 Blobbernaut 20/20 + 60 ox Cult Cultblade 30/10 sharp Morph Basic attack 20 Slaughter Demon Basic attack 30 Wizard Broom, 3, 5 Scrying Orb, 7, 15 Staff: 3, 5 Veil Render 15, 10 Syndicate Artistic Toolbox, 5, 10, gains 4+4 per kill. Will heal owner. Batterer, 0, 5 Bee Briefcase: 10 Chainsaw 15, 15, Wielded - 40. 35 Arm pen. Sharp. Knockdown. Chameleon Projector, 0, 5 Energy Shield, 3, 3, (50% block for melee, bullets and lazer. 30% block for bombs. 0% energy/bio/rad) Energy Sword. 3, 3, 30 weilded (50% blockchance) sharp Energy Sword - Dual, 3, 5, 34 wielded (75% block) sharp Powerfist, 12, 10 (variable settings) Powersink, 0,5 Radiation Lazer, 3, 3 (Irradiates / Paralyses after a few seconds) Safety Scissors, 18 (special attack with help intent, 18 brute 30 oxy) Sleeping Carp, wrist wrench +5 & stun Sleeping Carp, back kick weaken Sleeping Carp, stomach kick, losebreath, stun Sleeping Carp, head kick, 20+stun Sleeping Carp, elbow drop, 50 Throwing Star 2, 20, sharp 100% Embed Toolbox - Syndicate 15, 18 silent Job Equipment Barber Scissors, 5 sharp Botany Cultivator 5, 7 Hatchet 12, 15 Scythe 13, 5 – 20armour pen Captain Chain of Command, 10, 7 Rapier, 15, 10, 50% block, 75% penetration, sharp Cargo/Mining Mineral sheet 5, 5 Pickaxe, 15, 10 improved pickaxes such as Jackhammer or diamond axe are no different Shovel, 8, 4 Spade, 5, 7 Vending Restock Unit: 7, 10 Chaplain Weapons Null Rod: 15, 10 Godhand: 15, 0 burn (No disarm) Staff: 5, 5 50 blockchance Claymore & other swords: 15,10 sharp, 30 blockchance Scythe, 15, 10, sharp, 35 penetration Hammer, 15, 10 Chainsaw Hand, 15, 0 sharp (no disarm) Clown knife, 15, 10, sharp, honks Whip, 15, 10 Fedora, 0, 20 Armblade, 15, 0 sharp (no disarm) Carp, 13 Bostaff, 13, 13 40 blockchance Pitchfork 10, 15, Sharp Rosary, 0, 0, Prays (25% chance of heal 5 oxy, 5 tox, 5 brute, 5 fire) Nullifies vampire abilities Salt, 0, 0, Calls ghosts Bread, 0, 0 Silences Chef Butcher Cleaver, 15, 8 sharp Carrot Shiv, 8, 12 Kitchen Utensil (fork, spoon, spork etc.) , 5, 0 (n.b., fork can eyestab) Knife 10, 10, sharp Meat Cleaver 25, 15 Mould, 5, 5 Rolling Pin, 8, 10 Clown Bikehorn 0, 3 Engineering Crowbar, 5, 7 Crowbar - red, 8 Crowbar - Large, 12 Crowbar - Cyborg - 10 Crowbar - Power - 15 (has unique suicide) Rods 9-10 Fireaxe, 5, 15, 24 when weilded Multitool, 5, 0 Rcd 10, 10 Screwdriver, 5, 5, Can eyestab Tile, 10 thrown Tile, Plastasteel, 6, 10 Tile, light, 3, 5 Welding tool 3, 5, 15 burn when engaged. Wirecutters: 6 sharp Wrench, 5, 7 IAA/Magistrate Briefcase, 8 Gavel: 5, 6 Gavelblock: 2, 2 Tape Recorder, 2, 0 Tape, 1, 0 Janitor Bear trap, 0, 0, Trap damage 20 Mop, 3, 5 (flammable) Mop - Advanced, 6, 8 Medical Defib, 5, 6 Health Analyser 0, 3 Mass Spectrometer, 0, 5 Nanotrasen Representative Fancy Cane, 12 knockdown Security Bola, 0, 0, Weaken, Legcuffs Combat Knife, 20, 20 Handcuffs 0,3 Krav Maga – Legsweep 5 knockdown increased by harm intent 10-15 depending on state Krav Maga – Throat punch 10 Oxy increased by harm intent 10-15 depending on state Krav Maga – Neck Chop 5 silence increased by harm intent 10-15depending on state Tele baton, (extended), 10 knockdown Tele Shield, 3,3 (50% block for melee, bullets and lazer. 30% block for bombs. 0% energy/bio/rad) Riot Shield, 10, 5 (50% block for melee, bullets and lazer. 30% block for bombs. 0% energy/bio/rad) Seclite, 9 Stun Baton 10, 7 stuns when powered Surgery Bone Setter, 8, 9 Circular Saw, 15, 9 sharp Scalpel 10, 5 sharp Robotics These all have specific defensive stats and abilities not here listed Mecha 5, 0 modifiable Mecha, combat, 30, 0 Mecha, durand, 40, 0 Mecha, maurader, 45, 0 Mecha, phason, 15, 0 Drill (Mecha), 15, 0 Clamp (Mecha), 20, 0 Missile, 15 plus modifiers

Nuke op. War was declared. Got the usual, chainsaw, sarin grenades, implants, shielded suit and emps. BUT someone set up the teleporter. Now because I wasn't going through space and teleported in with the others I wasn't paying attention to internals like you normally do with airlocks and stuff, you know, motor memory etc. Normally internals are on because space and stuff, never forgot that, but, teleported in and didn't turn them on. Sarin grenades. Sarin. Dead.

Nukies spent about an hour devising a plan on how to stealthily and quickly get in, powersink the station, assault bridge, activate the nuke and leave. Long story short, after we spent an hour coming up with a plan, half our squad just fucked off before the sink was set up. Nobody besides me bought an emag. So I used mine, while holding a gun in the other hand. The following acts transpired within aproximately 3 and a half minutes: Emagged into HOP's Office. Emagged into the conference room. Emagged into the bridge. Put my Emag away, grabbed a flashbang, activated it with Z. Finger slipped on X. Throw intent active from the flashbang. Have gun-holding hand selected. Throw my rifle into the captains face like some retard. Get flustered. Press X real quick to switch to the flashbang. Try throwing. Throw intent isn't on. Press R. Fatfinger E. Put flashbang into backpack. Flashbang goes off inside. Kill captain. Leave bridge with other Nukies. Get robusted by a single sec officer and the AI firelock crushing me. Macrobomb implant takes out most the bridge and part of the hallway. Deadchat: "Well, that didn't go well." "Were you the asshole that threw a gun at the Captain instead of shooting him?" I'll never play nukie again.