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Departmental lathes would solve this problem. Instead of the protolathe being one all in one machine to all the best stuff, each department gets it's own protolathe that can only print things relevant to their department. Each lathe would be locked to an ID of that department, so even if engineering builds a science protolathe it won't do them any good without a science ID. It has the added bonus of decentralizing power away from science. Part of the reason departments do this is because sometimes getting science to actually give other departments stuff is pulling teeth. Half of science is usually traitors and you're lucky if you can find someone who will be nice enough to actually man the RnD window and not just print all the best stuff for themselves and go wander off blow up monkeys or something.

A round I played earlier today had myself and another cyborg got hacked by traitors, then disabled by security and left outside robotics for about 20 minutes. Apparently all of the robotics quit or died. As a cyborg, we can't ghost if our power cell is removed, but we can't do anything with it removed. Perhaps make it possible to exit the borg body if it's been without a power cell for more than 5 or 10 minutes. I mean sure, after 20 minutes we had our power cells readded by a miner but still, that's 20 minutes of looking at a dark screen with nothing to do but chat in LOOC.

Obligatory:

If you want the worst shitcurity round I've ever had to experience (And to be fair, I rarely experience shitcurity myself) it's immortalised on Yogstation's forums, specifically an admin/player complaint that got ugly fast. Still. Have a couple of stories to tell. Brig Phys. Scientist prods me to get a surgery table, so I do with his help, and then ask for permission for implants. Both Captain and HoS quickly approve of it. (Neat!) So, I pop over to RND through the power of telespace and ask for implants from the Scientist there, same one as before. He puts them all in a bluespace locker and comes to sec with me to drop them off, and then I ask over sec comms if anyone wants implants. No reply. HoS is busy, Captain isn't really meant to be getting this sort of stuff, and I ask again. Then an officer comes in, no bother, job done. A Second officer is asked to come in near the surgery room, and I ask if he wants anaesthetic or just to sleep it off. No reply. So i take his backpack off, put him under and quickly implant him. The man gets up and complains about how long it took, which I brush off. Then he leaves. Without his backpack. Womp Womp. ":s Hey Sec? Can we get a big round of applause for [REDACTED] for leaving his bag in my office?" That officer doesn't reply. Open up the backpack. Tasers, cuffs, the works. Nothing he shouldn't have, but everything he shouldn't leave lying around. Take the pack and dump it in the armoury, specifically namedropping the officer and where his backpack is. Get back to implants, and have to rush for a screwdriver and crowbar for an IPC Pod Pilot implantation. That Second officer storms back into my office and demands his backpack. I calmly tell him it's in the armoury, and that I told him on comms. So he is one of those officers. Quietly make a mental note to PDA the Warden about this guy, juuuust in case. HoS rolls up, and after a quick greeting and puts the tank on himself and lies down on the table. This guy doesn't fuck around. After a very short but pleasant LOOC conversation about Nurses and Biology the job is done and he is implanted, and I see him off. Outside of that, I PDA the HoS about the above Officer about the muteness on comms, forgetting his backpack and one other thing (can't recall) but the shift ends quietly beyond that. We had abductors. And *most* of sec dealt with them rather effectively. I might've suffered an EMP heart attack and needed defibbing thanks to abductor implants and might've been dragged to medical by a injured, armless officer, and they might've dropped an egg laying guy in perma at some stage... But you know. Space Station 13.

Hunter gets tossed and he drops his cuffs, I pick them up and no one noticed. Squishy and I watch from the holodeck as this guy just repeatedly batons Justin. Doesn't try to do anything but baton because he only had one pair of cuffs. We continue to watch as Justin gets up and throws him again. We watch this play out for a while, Hunter getting up and batonning/poking with it off. We disarm him a few times and a Vox hides the baton behind a shower curtain. Next his wife Kashlee/The HoS shows up and starts running around trying to baton him, David shows up too.So David, Squishy, and myself sort of just sit and watch the fuckery ensue. Hunter tries to flashbang him and the flashbang just gets tossed off screen. Justin disguises himself as a potted plant and runs around undetected while the pair search EVERYWHERE for him. It took them a solid 3 minutes to figure out Justin was the plant. At that point Hunter harmbatons Justin THEN harmbatons himself. At that point Kashlee thinks that Justin harmbatoned him so she brings out an e-gun. Runs around really slowly after him. Justin then hides in a locker undetected until he pops out and starts lazertagging them with the red lazers. KASHLEE THEN STARTS FIRING LETHALS. Eventually they give up and walk off. Later on Kashlee shows up again, another officer had given me a large banana peel. Kashlee just tazes Justin out of fucking no where and I slip her and steal her cuffs. I have two pairs of cuffs now. Kashlee then thought one of us stole her gun because she fucking put it in her backpack. She starts chasing us with a baton. Gets slipped. Dunno who took the baton. Think the clown did. So now she has no baton and no cuffs, and thinks her gun is gone. Why she only had one pair of cuffs idek. So she starts grabbing Justin 'Come with me and your sentence will be reduced.' We're all just laughing our asses off at this point, eventually they stop and talk. She had literally no idea that Justin hadn't beaten Hunter and that Hunter had hit himself. The whole time she was after Justin he thought he assaulted him. That gets resolved. Later on apparently she made beepsky go after him. Sean Carr see's this and decides to loltaze him. Of course Sean hits, gets slipped, and I take his cuffs too. Now I have three pairs of cuffs. Sean then chases after Justin and uses all his tazer ammo and gets slipped again. No clue who took the tazer. Instead of bringing out his baton Sean starts punching Justin. So we sort of just sit there slipping him and watching him shitcurity around. The actual officer that was decent sort of just walked off to do...idk. Eventually we're in the sec hallway after Sean chased him punching him. I slip him and cuff him and he gets dragged around for a while. Warden soon shows up and tries to flashbang us, twice, and fails. It took 4 people and 2 flashbangs to retrieve Sean. Sean later beats Justin in processing.

Assistant. I don't do important jobs with her due to my incompendence. That and I don't think younger characters should play roles like that.

Tales of Shitcurity: "Assault" with a "Deadly Weapon" (The tale of Hairgrownium spray) There once was a man with a curse, That made him think hair was adverse. He tased a man's ass Then stunned him, (no class!) And now he writes home from a hearse.

So, I decided to make the mistake of playing as Magistrate. It was all chill, not really getting into security's way, but helped out here and there and tried getting involved, like giving a prisoner, who was about to be executed via a firing squad, the permission to stand as he was about to be executed. Hell I even went and fetched him a blindfold and bought a cigarette. Suddenly, captain calls me to the bridge, and shoves a fax message in my face, that basically says that command and security are incompetent and that ERT should be called to purge them; it had a stamp, it was written in my name (and of a IAA who I haven't met, but was on the manifest), but naturally, it wasn't signed. So I headed to the IAA office, and /surprise/ there was the original message that was faxed, and an automatic response from CC. Well, it was either the other IAA who was messing about, or something else was up. I called the detective who scanned the papers aaaaand... we got a name. Not too surprisingly, that name was on several cell logs, with the crime being of breaking into places, and currently ,said person was punching himself in a cell, until restrained, and kept shouting to kill ourselves, and that we are stealing his shit. He even started punching when second he go out of cuffs, and when I accused him of the fax messages, he naturally denied it. I showed him the detective's scanner reports, that had his prints on it. I was told to kill myself. The IAA's ID was discovered then, which was in his PDA (security failed to notice it before). Then he suddenly turned catatonic, to be stuffed to cryo. Well. I guess it was a better experience than just spamming my gavel on the bridge, but damn. Sometimes I wonder what sort of people are behind these sort of 'characters'.

I once had an security officer as my personal bodyguard because of a fake CC fax I made. When going to the bar he didn't let me drink or smoke since Jessica is 17. This both made my round and my day.

Although not in relation to Paradise at all, this happened on my second playthrough on Aurorastation. Wanted to try out a heavy RP server for awhile now, and figured I try out Aurora before I check out Bay12. Now usually, I don't have a problem with Sec on Paradise, because anything that does pop up that I might have a legit issue with, could get resolved via the IAA/Magistrate, or if unavailable, then ahelp normally solves the problem. And I can see now that this might be a recurring problem on servers like Aurora, where IAA/Magistrate roles are non-existent or not played at all, and you have to rely on admin presence to deal with the issue. So when my character gets put away in a cell for 35 minutes without formally being charged with anything and just 'wordlessly' thrown into a cell, I'm left with complete disappointment rather than anything else, and on a heavy RP server I'd expect some layer of roleplay to be involved, but didn't even get the basics. And what dastardly crime did I do to get put away for 35 minutes? I used a cleaning grenade and slipped up two officers in an attempt to rescue a fellow revolutionary. My slipping didn't yield much results sadly, and I was tazed, and battered to the point that my right arm was bleeding, despite not offering any resistance. They didn't even know if I was part of the same group but they could have safely assumed as much by my actions, but not a single word was actually uttered at me or indirectly during all of this, and I was thrown into a cell wounded. Having quickly reviewed their space law regulations, nothing I had done would have condoned that sentence. So I ahelped it... I got nothing in response, and my ticket was eventually closed, again, without a response. I didn't actually have to spend a full 35 minutes in jail because about 15 minutes later, a gang of fellow revolutionaries show up to rescue me, but failed in the process.. and from then on, I'm dragged around by the CAPTAIN cuffed and bleeding out. Heavy RP my ass!