Leaderboard

Fucking. Ultra. Nerd.

A Mime, A Janitor, and a Head of Security walk into Brig Processing... Here follows a woeful tale of shitcurity, for which I take the blame. I was playing Katlyn Hudson, Head of Security. For me, it was a long day of playing SS13, including some rather stressful shifts as Captain. When I spawned as Head of Security, I thought "Great, I only have to worry about the one department instead of all of them." I must have been too tired to remember just how difficult Security can be. The Mime was a shitter, committing Major Trespass into Command areas at every opportunity. The first time I had the Mime in the processing room, I searched them and cut them loose with a warning, per the Magistrate. My Warden went to cryo, and I think so did the Magistrate. My _two_ Detectives, armed with lethals, out on patrol... (if you're getting the sense that the HoS was running a real shitshow operation, you're probably right) ... were half my security force, plus a security borg. A Doctor reports a suspicious janitor around the scene of a murder, so I mark the janitor for arrest for questioning/search. We're on Green, so there are no cuffs when people come willingly. The shitter Mime gets hauled in again on another Major Trespass and is sitting in the processing room, cuffed. When I get to the processing room, the Janitor is also present, not cuffed, and riding the Janicart. How a Head of Security hopes that it will go: HoS: Hey Janitor, please sit over there. I'll have some questions after I'm done with the Mime. Janitor: *sits down* Mime: *writes something on a piece of paper* HoS: Now Mime, you can't break into those places, even if the door is open. This is your last final warning, I don't wanna see you here again. Mime: *nods* HoS cuts Mime loose. HoS: Okay, Janitor you were spotted near a murder, so I need to search your bag. Janitor: OK HoS searches bag, HoS: Okay, nothing here. Sorry for the trouble, you're free to go. HoS cuts janitor loose. How it actually went: Janitor grabs Mime's stuff, including PDA off the table and stuffs it into garbage bag. HoS: Hey, could you sit down Mime breaks out of cuffs, begins Disarm fight with Janitor. Janitor joins Disarm fight, and Mime/Janitor disarm and fight over the trash bag. HoS: STOP!!! Mime and Janitor continue to run around fighting each other. HoS tases Mime, puts cuffs on, but misses the grab before the Mime runs away. Janitor disarms Mime again to knock them down, grabs trash bag off the table. Janitor: Can I go now? HoS tases Janitor, puts on cuffs, hauls Janitor off to a cell. Janitor attempts to run out of the cell several times. HoS: STOP. STAY HERE. HoS bucklecuffs Janitor to bed. HoS sets 60 minute timer for "Protective Custody; until the Mime can be processed." Detectives ask over security radio, "60 minutes?" HoS explains trouble in brig and please come help with the janitor if they are available. HoS goes back to processing to handle the Mime. *BWOINK*: Did you brig the Janitor for 60 minutes? Me ... *facepalm* "Yes. I don't want to keep the Janitor for 60 minutes. The janitor and mime are fighting in processing and I need to keep them separated until I can handle the Mime." *BWOINK*: Okay, process the Janitor as soon as possible. HoS goes back to processing to finish up with the Mime... HoS sees the Mime *finish committing suicide*. HoS reads the Mime's suicide note left on the processing table, expressing deep frustration with security. At this point, I begin to ponder if trying to Med/High RP in Security is even worth it. My goal was to give the Mime another last final warning and cut them loose. Maybe help the Mime feel like they got one over on the security force, cops can't touch them, etc., etc. In hindsight, I think being a hardass, throwing them in for 15 minutes for Major Trespass, plus a few extra unnecessary stunbatons (because 'Don't fuck with Sec, you shitter.') would have been infinitely kinder. Or least, they wouldn't have committed suicide over it. HoS shakes her head. No help for the Mime. So what about the Janitor? HoS goes back to the Janitor's cell, it's empty. A Detective released the Janitor without a search. Gee, good thing I "only have to worry about one department instead of all of them". In hindsight, I can see lots of things that I did wrong in that shift. The short list is: I shouldn't have let two Detectives act like Security Officer+ I should have had one Detective playing Detective I should have had the other Detective go to Warden, go to Officer, or go out of security altogether. I shouldn't have let the suspects outnumber security in processing I should have called for backup as soon as I had the headcount that put me at disadvantage I shouldn't have tried to be kind to the Mime a second time I should have thrown the Mime in for 15; optionally add an unnecessary stunbaton or two. Most importantly, I shouldn't have tried to play Head of Security without the energy and attention to do the role properly. I think it's easily the hardest job on the station, and trying to do it while exhausted is just asking for trouble. Special note: Sorry to the suicide Mime. I wasn't trying to ruin your round.

Just another day In Chapel Town. Thanks to Lakanaloa for sharing the screen shot!

Thanks for the question. Having oxygen damage increases the amount of brain damage you take; a patient having no oxygen damage will greatly reduce the rate at which brain damage accumulates, but it will still accumulate. Mannitol can also slow the brain damage accumulation. It is very much possible to attempt to stabilize someone even in full out cardiac arrest, it's just difficult and a bit of a scramble, but it is by no means a guaranteed "you let this happen, ergo you get punished" lose state. You're correct on the progression. Damage is a factor. The more damage someone has, the greater probability of rolling for the negative effects (heart failure, cardiac arrest). LIkewise, the more damage they have (especially brain damage) the greater the chance for them to drop dead. Unless they lose a vital organ, they're not going to straight up drop dead until they have over 200 combined damage. Oxygen damage is weighted less harshly into factoring into when the patient dies. O2 damage is nasty for getting your patient into a deeply critical state rapidly (and rolling for negative status effects), but it is far less harsh for factoring into your patient dying...still, you should address it, because, indirectly, it can lead to brain damage.

It was a really, really bad day. Edit: I enjoy how this page started and ended with my embarrassing failures as a cultist.

You have a bad day as a cultist when an ER engineer, a security officer, a clown, a baton vigilante, a civvie, a miner, a fish and a one-limbed cat human lynch you in the bar.

That's the thing. Looking at the posts on the forum, discussions on the discord, people keep posting in detail why some of the changes are pointless or dumb and the staff keeps ignoring it or branding legitimate criticism as sarcasm. A lot of the changes (but not all mind you) are pointless and will make medbay a clone-o-matic with little reason to do anything but clone people for every issue. Trying to make stabilizing people more important and making the paramedic a medic are good additions, but are implimented poorly. However my biggest concern is being unable to revive people outside advanced chemicals that wont be made most rounds meaning a lot of people will spend a lot of time dead. In actual medicine there are ways to mechanically revive people. For example of an idea, If a stimulant like epinephrine was available round start there would be a way to revive people who just died by giving them a shot of epinephrine and doing chest compressions (you know like reality) it won't heal any of their damage but will make reviving freshly dead people viable without the defibrillator. Defibs not starting hearts I get because that's unrealistic so some of the changes are good. If you want to be extreme and add another more sever way to revive people you can do cardiac massage to start a heart but that requires opening the chest. Not all the changes are bad but over all the whole concept needs to be re worked using community feedback to help. I do game development and I will listen to player feedback to see what needs to be fixed added or removed per update. You do not need to do polls to understand your player base, just look at the over all consensus. I'm 1 person and I can do it with no help, I'm sure Paradise can do it too. The takeaway is in my opinion removing the defibrillator as a revival tool without replacing it with something equivalent is a bad idea. If hospitals where unable to revive people who crash without the usage of hard to get medication they would be usless.

I'm not opting for a poll at all, but to seemingly dismiss feelings about the change as not being part of the discussion or feedback feels a little rash, to me.

I can't believe no one has posted this yet:

Private detective clown out to solve crimes for a fee: This guy was so ashamed his fibers were on the glass he walked back into the cell and repaired it. The actual detective was fairly amused. Went out to get a proper hat, and found a syndie crate with apron fibers, tho sec never aprehended the botanist. Followed some cold case trails to an abandoned ambulance, then had to use my mighty cap gun to escape from a suspicious snowman that chased me away from the scene. After writing a report for the detective, I repo'd next the botanist's janicart from chapel maint, and sold him the fingerprints for 250 credits. Some called for help for a Ripley thievery. The guy had used it to drill Ian to death. Got his confession on tape and Miranda paid me 2500 for handing it to Security and helping to get him out of the Ripley. Tho I have to say, cap guns aren't very effective against mechas. QM blew up! Not much on the scene, but then my keen souless eyes noticed a shipping manifest on the desk. QM had bought security gear for his office. And, as it turned out, they had actually been buying null crates and selling illegal gear all shift without being busted until then! After all that work I finished the shift as any proper private detective -- gambling and drinking.