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Better idea: their meals will include figures like from the arcade.

Alright folks, get ready for the strapping adventure of: DOOM GUY JOHNSON (AKA Taigo Johnson as: Doom Slayer) So this all begins with me arriving on the shuttle midround. Everything is fine... for about two seconds. I realize that the shuttle is superheated, and i'm starting to burn up. Shit. So, as any sensible person would do, I grab the captain gear that was on the shuttle with me (gloves, a carapace, I think a radio too) And set out to find the captain. I spot one heading to the brig, shouting, 'Sir! I have some captain stuff! I'm returning it' At this point, we are in the Brig lobby. No shit, he turns right the fuck around, TAZES ME, then a security officer WALKS OUT, TAZES THE CAPTAIN AND BRINGS ME IN At that point I was confused, but just glad I was rescued. So, I get shaken up, and the officer leaves to go who knows where. Meanwhile i'm in the brig's medical area asking what in the hell is going on. This is the tipping point where it gets crazy. So, someone responds that there's a cult aboard. Whippity doo da. So about that time, I see a battle raging RIGHT BELOW US. Lasers and fists are flying everywhere, when all of a sudden, I see a orange canister being dragged in along with.. Oh no. A welding tool. "they're gonna-" And before I can get it out, WHOOSH, there goes the plasma then the fire... you know the rest. Anyways, I can't open the doors, and they're blocked by fire slowly seeping in, so I decide to do one thing. *Flush* I get to cargo, and am trapped in critical. Some shutters are in the way, so i'm trapped with a clown and a near-dead engineer. So, naturally, here's when things just aligned A borer magically enters me, says 'sup' and fills me with go-juice (the stuff in autoinjectors) So I get up, steal the engineers belt and unscrew the shutters. The engineer and clown go down to disposals. So, I exit cargo cause there is just a hole in the wall, when I come face-to-face with reality. Well, more like an open-aired cultist base, along with a free cultist, to boot. But, y'know, tomato, tomoto. Anyways, seems they have a lights-on nobody-home sort of look, so I naturally grab the axe that's just sitting next to them and lop off their head. I pick up the head and head on down to disposals. So, now that i'm here, might as well take the engineer's hardsuit. I take it off and put it on, and no sooner than I did this then RIP! RIIIIP! RIIIIIIIIIIIP! shit So naturally I start freaking out when a demon plops into existence ontop of me and sort of leaves, without even noticing me. I grab the engineer's jetpack and head out of a conveniently placed hole in the wall. I head over to arrivals, and wouldn't you know it, there's a demon. I kill it, suffering barely any damage. I head over to a pod and fiddle with the controls. ANOTHER demon comes, and I handle it albeit a bit more hard, but I won once more. It was after the culling of the second demon that someone just so happens to have arrived and I say to them, 'STAY WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!' Naturally, being yelled at by a man in a suit of armor with an axe in his hands with bits of gore around him instills trust almost immediately, so he naturally shrugs and says 'alright' At that point, two demons come a-charging. double shit. So, I kill them both somehow, when the shuttle and pods are about to go. We get on a pod, me screaming that I will one day return to purge the station of it's evil creatures. And that, my friends, believe it or not, was the incredible story of... DOOM GUY JOHNSON yeet

I never actually put the newest one of the Captain up here. (well newest given i haven't made a new one but its close enough.) So uh..have this one.