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clown gal.

Hello everyone! This guide is supposed to help those who think about buying parrots or already have one and want to educate further. Even if you do not have a parrot and you do not plan on getting one, please give it a read so maybe you can educate other people as well! Also I think most of these things will apply to other birds like canaries and such. Table of Content: I. Introduction For the clarity of everything: I am NOT a breeder, and I am NOT a parrot therapist. I am however a person that was unable to buy a parrot for a long time (since my parents did not allow me to) and I got my parrots only recently. I had like 10 years to do my research about how to treat parrots correctly and I think I know a thing or two. Everything I tell you here is from my personal experience or form other people's experience. If you want to learn more, please consult these people: I decided to make this guide just because I experienced ONE AGAIN what basically is animal abuse in a common pet store. So PLEASE if you do want to buy a parrot read this! About my parrots: Also if you want to have some fun check this out: https://myrightbird.com/quiz II. Where to buy a parrot This is what ultimately made me want to write this guide. Pet stores. TL;DR: You should NEVER buy a pet from the pet store. Explanation: So Quark where do I buy a parrot? PRIVATE BREEDERS! What do I mean by this? In Poland you can buy parrots from breeders on OLX (website) and similar places. Just write in googles "Parrots on sale <city>". You may also specify the race like cockatiels and such. Parrots that people sell there are: a) not wanted parrots - I would recommend against buying those b) Parrots that hatched within last year - buy those Some of these parrots are hand fed. That means they were fed food from the hand and so they can be expected to not be as scared of hands. If they were not hand fed, you have to train them to not be afraid. and this takes time. They are also WAY cheaper than parrots from pet stores. They are also probably kept in better cages. When you buy a parrot you should always ask to see their living place to make sure you're not buying it from someone who abuses them! I really hope this answers the question "Where do I buy parrots?". III. What cage to buy Cages are the living space of parrots. Even if you do plan on having the cage all the time open, the cage itself should be big. First thing you have to do is to check what bar spacing you need. If you plan on buying a specific race of the parrot, make sure you check the maximum bar spacing of the cage. You should NEVER buy a cage with bar spacing bigger than that. Why? There are videos of parrots literally exiting cage by slipping through the bars. This is: a) Dangerous because it can hurt itself and I think it should be obvious? b) Dangerous because if you lock your parrots in cage and open the window to let the fresh air in, your parrots might just slip out the cage and fly away c) Dangerous because they might slip out when you're not home and eat something toxic... The worst case scenario is when your bar spacing is big enough so they can fit their head through, but not their body. They will get stuck and freak out which leads to most likely strangling themselves. How big should the cage be? THE BIGGER THE BETTER! You should have cage big enough for your parrots to be able to fly from one perch to the other. If it's not then well... the cage is too small. The cage should also be big enough for your parrots to have freedom of movement. They should not be forced to sleep together on one perch. I personally recommend the cages that are on the wheels. They are easy to move during cleaning and are usually big enough for budgies and cockatiels. And for the LOVE OF GOD please CHECK the behavior of the parrot species you want to buy! You HAVE to understand that SOME parrot species can get EXTREMELY territorial during mating season and they will kill each other if they are both males of females. These parrots have to be kept in different cages! And each cage have to be big enough! Please do not use transport cages as normal cages! Pet stores sell small cages like 60x50x50cm and label them as "proper cage". No this is NOT a proper cage for a parrot. This cage is too small, and you should buy bigger cage than this... Parrots should not feel claustrophobic in their cage... III. What food to buy !PARROTS DO NOT EAT JUST SEED! If you feed just seed to your parrot, you are literally killing their liver! Parrots in the wild eat greens! Leaves,vegetables and such. When buying a parrot you have to ask the breeder what they feed their parrots. My parrot Sigma was being fed only seeds, and that is not healthy. Generally you should make CHOP. What is chop? Chop is well... chopped vegetables and greens. You take for example: broccolli, carrot and pepper and you chop it. My parrots like it well chopped into small bits (but other parrots might like it differently). You can freeze the chop in "doses" and unfreeze it everyday. You should generally change the chop at least twice in the morning and in the middle of the day. FYI: AVOCADO IS POISONOUS FOR PARROTS! DO NOT FEED THEM THIS! Please whenever you make chop, check if it's safe for parrots! Things that can be used for chop: Pet stores like to feed their parrots only seed. My girlfriend had a parrot 'Sherlock' that she fed only seeds and allowed him to eat human food. They died being 3 years old, so more or less 5 years too early. The cause of death was liver failure. She also has Watson, the parrot that has a permanent fat fold on her chest due to her being fed only seeds. I expect Watson to not live that long either due to the liver problems she might have. Another thing you should consider is.... pellets. Pellets are a small bits of food. There are different types of pellets for parrots. I would recommend Harrison's and Top's. They are both not colored (so no artificial coloring = is healthier) and they are organic. They are expensive yes, but parrots are expensive pets if you want them to be healthy and happy! With all of that said, what do I do with seeds? I use them for training. This is not covered in this guide, but parrots LOVE seeds. Seeds are fat, and parrots like it. You should give them some seed, but only as a training treat! If you do not feed them seeds daily, then they will do all kind of tricks for some seed! Training also makes your bond with them stronger. How do you convert from seed diet to chop and pellets? Just start with giving them pure seed, then start giving them a little bit of chop and pellets in their bowl. After some time (might be a few days or a month) start giving them more chop and pellets and less seed. Repeat till they eat just chop and pellets! It takes lot of time I know, but it's for the better of your parrot! Also if any of you say "But my parrot likes seed and they are happy with it" Yeah sure they are happy, and will be happy. Except when they die prematurely due to health problems (liver issues, heart attacks, etc.). That is quite mean from me I know, but that's the excuse my girlfriend gave me when I tried to convince her to stop feeding Sherlock pure seed and human food, and he died prematurely.... Disclaimer: On that note. If any of you like to feed ducks and swans bread... you are feeding them toxin. Ducks and swans do not eat bread, and their bodies are not made to digest it. In Poznan there's a park "Soladzki". There used to be 2 adult swans and 4 baby swans, but people fed them bread and they all died save the male swan.... This is just ensaddening. IV. What toys and accesories to buy First thing is perches. With your cage you will get a plain wooden perch. Just a plain piece of wood with no texture (sometimes it's plastic). This has to go. And you need to buy a proper perches. Proper perches look like normal sticks. Why are they better? The parrot has a different grip on the perch depending on where they stand. This is good. If you have just plain wood/plastic perches, the parrots will have exactly the same grip on it everywhere. This can make their feet hurt, and later make it problematic for them to grip onto something different than their perch. You don't want that. You can generally just to into the woods and pick up some stick there. but you HAVE TO MAKE SURE THE STICK YOU HAVE IS NOT TOXIC! I personally think it's better to be "safe than sorry" so I buy perches from net. In case you need to save some money and you want to gather sticks yourself, seaarch the guide how to process the sticks. You need to make them sterile (which includes but is not limited to - drying it out and heating it up in oven). Again: make sure the tree you have the stick from is NOT toxic. Another thing is: mirrors! No. Just no. I know someone who had a mirror next to their cage and I saw a parrot trying to feed their reflection. Why is that bad? Feeding another parrot is mating thing. If your parrot is EVER trying to feed anything it means they are hormonal. And being hormonal towards your own reflection can make your parrot sexually stressed. It may or may not result in them being territorial towards you or other parrots. Just PLEASE remove all mirrors from their cage and make sure there are no mirrors near their cage! Another thing: Rope toys! No. Again please no. I can get away with rope perches, but by parrots do NOT eat them. If your parrots eats some of this rope, it may cause blockade in their throat, and that means they will most likely starve to death or suffocate. So please avoid them if possible. Again: I can get away with this one, because I am REALLY monitoring the rope perches, sometimes daily, and I see that they do not eat it. I will agree tho, that I should move them, and maybe I will do so. I could also talk about less important things, but please do your own research with them. I am tired of writing this guide a little bit since it requires me to focus on it for like uh... 2 hours now? V. Closing statement Well... that's the end of this guide! Hope it was educational at least a little bit. If needed I can make "part 2" where I describe other things. If not, then that's fine! If you have any questions, feel free to ask them here. If you disagree please do so too! Am happy to talk! Again: this guide is made for people that just do not know things. Maybe they do not know what food parrots eat, or maybe they want to buy a parrot but they do not know that pet stores are garbage. PS: If any of you want to, I can make similar guide to taking care of dogs. I was living with a dogs since I was born, I was also attacked by one (and almost lost my left eye) so I know some things about it. My family has (inactive now) fundation dedicated to education about dogs. PS2: I am too tired to format the guide properly, sorry about it! I might come back to it later and recolor some things here! Have a good day everyone!

A Mime, A Janitor, and a Head of Security walk into Brig Processing... Here follows a woeful tale of shitcurity, for which I take the blame. I was playing Katlyn Hudson, Head of Security. For me, it was a long day of playing SS13, including some rather stressful shifts as Captain. When I spawned as Head of Security, I thought "Great, I only have to worry about the one department instead of all of them." I must have been too tired to remember just how difficult Security can be. The Mime was a shitter, committing Major Trespass into Command areas at every opportunity. The first time I had the Mime in the processing room, I searched them and cut them loose with a warning, per the Magistrate. My Warden went to cryo, and I think so did the Magistrate. My _two_ Detectives, armed with lethals, out on patrol... (if you're getting the sense that the HoS was running a real shitshow operation, you're probably right) ... were half my security force, plus a security borg. A Doctor reports a suspicious janitor around the scene of a murder, so I mark the janitor for arrest for questioning/search. We're on Green, so there are no cuffs when people come willingly. The shitter Mime gets hauled in again on another Major Trespass and is sitting in the processing room, cuffed. When I get to the processing room, the Janitor is also present, not cuffed, and riding the Janicart. How a Head of Security hopes that it will go: HoS: Hey Janitor, please sit over there. I'll have some questions after I'm done with the Mime. Janitor: *sits down* Mime: *writes something on a piece of paper* HoS: Now Mime, you can't break into those places, even if the door is open. This is your last final warning, I don't wanna see you here again. Mime: *nods* HoS cuts Mime loose. HoS: Okay, Janitor you were spotted near a murder, so I need to search your bag. Janitor: OK HoS searches bag, HoS: Okay, nothing here. Sorry for the trouble, you're free to go. HoS cuts janitor loose. How it actually went: Janitor grabs Mime's stuff, including PDA off the table and stuffs it into garbage bag. HoS: Hey, could you sit down Mime breaks out of cuffs, begins Disarm fight with Janitor. Janitor joins Disarm fight, and Mime/Janitor disarm and fight over the trash bag. HoS: STOP!!! Mime and Janitor continue to run around fighting each other. HoS tases Mime, puts cuffs on, but misses the grab before the Mime runs away. Janitor disarms Mime again to knock them down, grabs trash bag off the table. Janitor: Can I go now? HoS tases Janitor, puts on cuffs, hauls Janitor off to a cell. Janitor attempts to run out of the cell several times. HoS: STOP. STAY HERE. HoS bucklecuffs Janitor to bed. HoS sets 60 minute timer for "Protective Custody; until the Mime can be processed." Detectives ask over security radio, "60 minutes?" HoS explains trouble in brig and please come help with the janitor if they are available. HoS goes back to processing to handle the Mime. *BWOINK*: Did you brig the Janitor for 60 minutes? Me ... *facepalm* "Yes. I don't want to keep the Janitor for 60 minutes. The janitor and mime are fighting in processing and I need to keep them separated until I can handle the Mime." *BWOINK*: Okay, process the Janitor as soon as possible. HoS goes back to processing to finish up with the Mime... HoS sees the Mime *finish committing suicide*. HoS reads the Mime's suicide note left on the processing table, expressing deep frustration with security. At this point, I begin to ponder if trying to Med/High RP in Security is even worth it. My goal was to give the Mime another last final warning and cut them loose. Maybe help the Mime feel like they got one over on the security force, cops can't touch them, etc., etc. In hindsight, I think being a hardass, throwing them in for 15 minutes for Major Trespass, plus a few extra unnecessary stunbatons (because 'Don't fuck with Sec, you shitter.') would have been infinitely kinder. Or least, they wouldn't have committed suicide over it. HoS shakes her head. No help for the Mime. So what about the Janitor? HoS goes back to the Janitor's cell, it's empty. A Detective released the Janitor without a search. Gee, good thing I "only have to worry about one department instead of all of them". In hindsight, I can see lots of things that I did wrong in that shift. The short list is: I shouldn't have let two Detectives act like Security Officer+ I should have had one Detective playing Detective I should have had the other Detective go to Warden, go to Officer, or go out of security altogether. I shouldn't have let the suspects outnumber security in processing I should have called for backup as soon as I had the headcount that put me at disadvantage I shouldn't have tried to be kind to the Mime a second time I should have thrown the Mime in for 15; optionally add an unnecessary stunbaton or two. Most importantly, I shouldn't have tried to play Head of Security without the energy and attention to do the role properly. I think it's easily the hardest job on the station, and trying to do it while exhausted is just asking for trouble. Special note: Sorry to the suicide Mime. I wasn't trying to ruin your round.

May 17th, 2022 @MrSynnesterhas unretired and returned to GA