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>Be agent >want to buy surplus (meme strong) >find 1x2 hole in maints to purchase my lovely crate >bolt the door shut to prevent any maint dwellers from stealing muh loot >buy the surplus >in addition to the usual goodies, it includes a stetchkin, a silencer, and a false bottomed briefcase! >incredible! The perfect combo to perform ranged stealth kills! >momentarily forget how to open the briefcase >use the briefcase in hand >”HWAT’S THIS?!” >Oh lord please no >”AN OVERABUNDANCE OF BEES IN THE WORKPLACE?!” >God please I thought it was a false bottomed briefcase >”MY BRIEFCASE FULL OF BEES OUGHTA PUT A STOP TO THAT!” >Find myself in a 2x1 space. >Door bolted shut. >With a briefcase full of angry Syndie Bees.

Tot scientist. Make 2 golems to help. Mats are non existent. Wanna get started so just use the nearest material to make them. Plasma. Buy syndie loot crate. Get holopara and rapid chem injector. Decide to get the golems to kill the HoS (my target) with chems. Start making a war crime mix. tell golems to get IDs from HoP and get holopara to scout in the meantime. Make some chlorine tri-fluoride. It's heating. I start taking damage (holopara saw a chance to take out the HoS but got owned). Plasma golems return just as the C3F is about to cook. Try to tell them to leave but I just gasp. C3F cooks and sets off something else that must of been on the floors or something. Whole sci chem goes up in flame, welder tank blows. Plasma golems were a bad idea. Both explode. I die. Redtext, but worth it cause it was funny.

>be HoS >terror spiders reported >1 tile in bar gets breached to spaced >it’s repaired but there are a bunch of small items that are just covering the tile that was breached to space >slip on banana peel while going into bar maints that was apparently under said pile of stuff >get owned by two reds and a green waiting behind the doorway >sit in dead chat and watch 12 other players all run in and slip on the same banana one by one only to get eaten by terrors waiting behind the airlock

>Be me >Chase a syndicate mans around a machine 5 times in a very comical fashion >Baton out, ready to strike >Hit self(pre baton nerf) >Syndicate beats my ass with my own baton We've all been here.

Be a first time IAA. A document is sent to my office titled: "VERY IMPORTANT!". I stupidly fax the document on thinking the Rep or whoever sent it intended it to go to Central Command. Get made into a cluwne. Greytide beats me to death for my crime of simply existing. Central Command did not appreciate the ass attached to the otherwise blank stamped document.

Be observer. Watch Mechanic break into Syndie Depot with enough tools to build another miracle. Watch Mechanic break through walls. Watch Mechanic break into trap room filled with plasma tiles and a welded shut plasma airlock. Watch Mechanic be smart enough not to-- nevermind, he welded the plasma airlock, chain reaction, everything burns and blows up, Mechanic dies to depot explosion blast. Good stuff.

Figure out that as a guardian, you mine rocks at insane speed. Help miner collect enormous amount of materials. Gibtonite explodes immediatly on hit. There are 3 gibtonite ores in one place. Be tator of any kind. Target is miner. Lure to mining, try to track target by gps. Walk around narrow corridors in-between rocks. Target should be nearby. Just around the corner. Turn. Out of nowhere, colossus. And it is getting closer. Tesla is loose. Walk around in engi hardsuit and insulated gloves. You are immune, laugh at tesla, save people. Tesla is smart. It jumps directly ontop of you, dusting you. Be vampire. Forget about it. Space adventure time.