Imic

I've been around here a while, but I have decided that in my quest to integrate myself deeper and deeper into the Paradise community like a bizarre Parasite that actually turns out to just be very lonely I shall create a post where I introduce myself to no-one in particular in the vague hopes of one day becoming something approaching a tolerable regular face in the community on one level or another. I play the misanthropic(?) AI B.A.D.G.E.R and also the nervous Cormac O' Murchu whenever I can't play as AI. I am from Ireland, a fact I won't shut up about, I like talking to other Human beings, I am a firm believer in the (Metaphorical)power of friendship, I am ambiguously queer, I am too self aware for my own good, I talk a lot, and I can't do anything without overthinking it, including writing this here. I have a tendency to overshare despite how terrified I become about potentially annoying someone with my constant oversharing, and my conversations frequently derail and collapse into gravitational singularities of awkwardness and anxiety. Did I mention that I overshare? I also apologise a lot. And talk a lot. And AAAAAAAGH IT'S ALL COLLAPSING IN ON ITSELF THE AWKWARDNESS AND ANXIETY etc. etc. etc. I enjoy Engineering, Atmospherics, Cooking, Science, Robotics, and playing as the Station AI. In the game. Not in real life. Not after the incident. I enjoy roleplaying, but I always become worried that I'm not good at it, or that I'm letting the other person(s) involved down in some way. I am extremely unrobust. Like- imagine something unrobust. In your mind, right now. That's not me, I'm around 200 times worse. I will stop here because it is late and I can feel the embarrassment coming back in time from my Future self to punish me for writing so much stuff, but joke's on him, he's the one who has to go to work. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Document of Employment Name: B.A.D.G.E.R (Brendansdóttir And Donnavan General Edition Robot) Age: N/A Gender: N/A (Male preferred) Race: IPC (Integrated Positronic Chassis) Blood Type: N/A General Occupational Role(s): Engineer, Atmospheric Technician, Roboticist, AI. This Document hereby grants indefinitely assured employment to the IPC hereafter referred to as Badger for the purpose of repaying a total outstanding debt of ****** Credits to the Nanotrasen Corporation across a period of ** years, starting on **/**/****. Should this contract be declared null and void for any reason, then a percentage of the debt owed to the Corporation equal to the percentage of the ** year employment period completed by Badger up until that point shall be considered repaid. Reasons for the contract being declared null and void include but are not limited to: Serious injury, permanent injury, disabling injury, long-term temporary imprisonment, permanent imprisonment, crimes including but not limited to: Sabotage, Grand sabotage, Kidnapping, Kidnapping of an Officer, Manslaughter, attempted murder, murder, inciting a riot, mutiny, grand theft, assault of an officer, being declared an enemy of the Corporation, and/or indecent exposure. Also included is brainwashing from the cult or Nar'sie, Shadowling domination, regular domination, Failure to follow AI laws, the existence of any and all subversive modifications to the AI or AI laws originating from the syndicate, being overly snarky to a Centcom official, fangirling about Nausicaa of the valley of the wind over the intercoms again, the presence of subversive viruses and/or trojan horses and/or any other form of malicious third party computer program, unauthorized activation of the Station's self destruct mechanism, death, and/or asking for another pay raise. For the full and comprehensive list please see document 1-C. Nanotrasen reserves the right to choose not to declare the contract null and void even if any of the previously mentioned criteria and/or any/all of the criteria listed in document 1-C are determined to have occurred. Until such a time as all outstanding debts are repaid and the contract being considered completed, the IPC known as Badger is property of the corporation, overriding any and all existing citizenship and/or membership, employment, or other formal association with/of any and all Countries, Organizations, or Companies besides the Nanotrasen Corporation, except where such a thing would violate Trans-Solar Federation law. For further details, please see attatched documents 1 through 4. Please include signatures below, as well as legal names in block capitals for ease of use: GEORGE RIDDEL George Riddel B.A.D.G.E.R Badger Notes: I encourage any Station employing Badger to remove Its positronic brain and use It as an AI, if no other AIs are available. Be aware, however, that Badger is still not a regular AI, and although it has displayed acceptable levels of competence working as an AI, It still cannot compare to purpose-made AIs. Furthermore, It often fails to take things seriously, acts disrespectful to both Crew and Command, frequently vocalises Its opposition to the Corporation, and talks sass at every opportunity. However, that being said, despite fears that due to It being an independent non-slaved IPC It would be able to ignore Its AI laws, it has never been recorded doing so. Furthermore, It rarely if ever displays actual malicious intent, is quick to admit to and apologise for its mistakes and shortcomings, and will do every task It is given to the best of Its ability regardless of the nature of that task. In short, besides its personality, It acts as a perfectly tolerable AI, so despite the inherent oddness of using an IPC brain as a Station AI, in the case that no other AI is available, I happily encourage doing so if no other AI is available. Besides that, feel free to use Badger as disposable labour, since as an IPC It can be easily given a new Chassis for Its brain should Its old Chassis be destroyed. It had shown competence working as an Atmospheric Technician, Engineer, Scientist, and Roboticist, though It is happy to learn new skills should the need arise. Just whatever you do, don't give It medical duties. That should be all. -George The following information is for Security eyes only.