FarmWizard

"Current danger negledgable. Executing commands." Raishna says, the ship shudders and starts moving towards the dusty sandstorm planet and it's tiny asteroid.

The sensors have identified faint energy signatures on a nearby moon, and after you start messing with the consoles, the exterior cameras come online and you're finally able to see outside. You're sitting seriously close to a blue giant, with a few planets still orbiting the star. You spot the planetoid with the tiny asteroid classified as it's moon orbiting slightly higher up in orbit. "Personality core detected. Hello crew, it seems we've suffered an unfortunate turn of events. However I can assure you we will be OK. We can probably find another energy source for the ship and make it home. I estimate our chances of survival at 67.66666667% likely, pretty good odds right?" The AI says, and even it doesn't sound very optimistic about your chances.

"Mission status: Unknown. I do not know our current location. Engine crystal is no longer functional. I fired our entire antimatter arsenal into the black hole, creating a Schwarzschild wormhole. It collapsed after we exited and I cannot trace our current location. For all intensive purposes, we are now stranded." Raishna says, the ship jolts slightly as the thrusters power on and the displays come back to life. "Energy crystal cracked and is now unsuitable for energy use. Running off solar energy. I do not know what we should do next, we have no communications with earth, no extra warp crystals, no idea where we are, and no captain." The AI chimes. The sensors console is blipping away happily.

So we all know the stereotypical clown with the big red nose that honks. So let's reskin the sec gasmask and give it the HONK audio file. So the clown can honk his nose all day long.

"Auxillary power online, AI online, welcome crew." The AI chimes, the displays flicker excitingly but won't stay up long enough for you to gather any data.

So we all know that RnD had those OPed chem sprayers and shit, but what if we replaced it with a less OP fog machine? You'd have to activate it and itd have to have a battery installed.

Think about it. Imagine, being able to make spiders in Chemlab. Then you can inject people with spiders that will slowly gnaw their way out. Bursting from every oriface on their body. Or perhaps a chem spray that shoots chlloral and spiders all over syndies? Basically, this is the best thing ever.

The coolant system seems to have failed, and that the AI had overclocked itself pretty hard. You'll need to manually reboot her. The book is just an owners manual, it's fairly dry and it explains all the good things about the ship without telling you anything useful.

You spot a supply cabinet in the wall, and inside are various tools and a thick book.

You notice an incredible heat coming from the center of the room, and that the displays are offline. The heat seems to emanate from the middle of the room, where the AI is housed. You're also distinctly aware of the fact that the engine isn't running anymore,

Cool, I've already ordered the pizza and the keg's in the freezer.

You feel an odd sense of detachment as you feel yourself being pulled from the seat. The ship's hull continues to groan, as if the whole ship was in pain. A giant beast being ripped asunder by a bacl hole. Then you hear the weapon firing, then everything's silent. The omnipresent silence now making your ears roar as the ship's ever present ambient music now shut off. Strangely though, you're not dead.

You feel intense pressure as the ship fires forward, you hear hissing and a loud boom as the ship breaks the sound barrier. You then exit the barrel of the Railcannon and see as the ship leaves earth. Then you hear a loud Thud-Clank-Bang! and the warp drive makes the ship shiver. Everything goes hazy as the fabric of space time bends to your incredible speed. You're traveling at well twice the speed of light. Then you hear something that sounds like a mix of metal groaning and a tiny belling ringing. "Hidden black hole detected! Destruction imminent!" The AI beeps, as the displays turn to static.

The bridge is fairly clean compared to the rest of the shuttle, and all the displays are online and are flashing happy little notices about the goings on of the ship. The AI's face flickers to life on the main display. "I am Raishna, the ship you are currently on. I am a prototype model Quintari Express light frigate, refitted for science and exploration. I will also pilot the ship and manage the reactor. My AI was manufactured by Motorola specifically for this ship. This design was discontinued before three where released. That means I'm a collectors item, treat me well please. Now if you would settle in we are about to begin launch." She says, as you hear a loud droning noise accompanied by the sound of the magnetic clamps releasing. It sounds as if the ship is about to get fired out of earth's atmosphere. You should probably take a seat. The bridge isn't designed as a normal bridge would be, instead it appears to be designed to take as much of a beating without stopping as possible. You think it may survive an antimatter charge, however you aren't certain. Nevertheless, this ship was designed to be fucking robust. You also notice the AI's mainframe sitting in the column of the main table, with a red holographic display orb in the middle.

Engineering Unit 1 and Raven awaken from sleep mode inside the charging ports in the Cryo room. You notice a few others have already borded.

"Please report to the bridge for briefing." The AI chimes, as doorways open for you leading to the bridge. The ship's interior is nice, except for a fine layer of dust over everything. This thing must've sat for quite a while.

The catwalk extends and clamps onto the side of the vessel, the airlock opening into the primary hallway. The ship stands menacingly. It isn't destroyer class, but it's still damn impressive. As you step inside the ship's onboard AI kicks in and turns on the lights for you, as one of the intercoms lights up. "Crew Detected, Personality module not detected."

Nirania's pod shudders violently for a moment, before disgorging her from the cold prison. She awakens on the cold floor of the facility, scanning probes beeping happily as they finish and retract.

The pod door hisses as the cool pressurized air inside opens into the small room holding all the cryo cells. The computer analyzes you with a scanning probe, blue lasers flying over your body, before dinging happily. The door opens and you spot the ship sitting out in the hangar, the catwalk extending to the airlock. "Welcome Kenrin, please proceed to the shuttle." an artificial voice chimes.

So I haven't exactly explained the RP very well have I? So a Roll to Dodge is where I make rolls and decide the outcome based on those roles, having relevant skills helps you with those rolls. Rolls can Crit, a critical failure is 1, a critical success is 20. Critting a roll means you've gotten the maximum amount of effect, either good or bad, on your roll. This can mean you blast the guy's face off or your gun explodes. Fun, right? Rollscale: 1 Crit Fail, 2-7 fail, 8-14 succeed, 15-19 Good success, 20 Critical success. You're a crew of people sent to explore past the solar system, so you're equipped with various spacefaring gear like EVA shit, indefinite atmospherics, indefinite food supply, small laser based weapons, and repair tools. On FATE and FATE POINTS Fate points are obtained by the crew for doing various things. Fate points can be used to coax RNJesus into favoring your next roll exponentially, causing Crit success. However they're rare and should only be used when you really need to get a good roll.

Raisha is a Norse name that means pearl. Now onto the character sheet, so people can actually join. Name: Age: no lolis pls Race: insert Bullshittery jumbling of letters to make a race name. Racial Atributes: things that make your race speshul Appearance: tell us how angsty and how many belts you wear. Skills: Don't put everything Job: Ahh shit, we have jobs now? Font Color: Jobs Captain: Science Officer: Edgy Droid Engineer: Droid Guard: Kenrin Saunders Guard: Nirania Hunter You're the few that's aboard the Raishna, an exploration vessel from the United States Exploration Division. It's a tiny ship that was a backup as the first had exploded. You're also then backup crew. The first ship lost contact and is presumed dead. Your mission is to explore and observe. The ship's engine is a SuperCrystal HyperSpace X2.1, while slightly rusted (this thing was in storage for like five years WTF?) it functions. The ship is comprised of a few compartments. The crew cabin, a bunch of cots and lockers for the crew. The bathroom, with a shower and toilet. The Bridge, with large video displays for the outside and plenty of consoles and a big chair for the captain. The engine room, which houses the Crystal and the auxiliary solars. Atmospherics, inside botany with large tanks of algae turning CO2 into O2 and fertalizer for the plants. Along with automated food growth stations. Cargo hold, with large bulkheads for ships and shipping containers alike. Then the lab, with scanners, sensors, analyzers, and Comms devices this is where the magic happens. The ship itself is only a frigate class, with a large Railgun mounted on a swivel turret. It fires depleted uranium/platinum/lead/steel slugs. It can also fire antimatter slugs if you can find some. You're awoken by the automated Cryo pod you've been given on earth, asking for your information.

Posting RP right MEOW.

Get two Esword.Combine. Feel the power. Feels good right? Get to engineering, robust first person to come out and steal their ID. Get inside. Set partial accelerator to max. Defend dat FUKKIN point. Wait until Lord SINGULOTH does his work. Complete objectives. Cry when it ate the hand tele. Escape alone.

Super matter Master Race.