What i usually do as IAA, is that i make this freaking huge Status report paper. I go from department to department, interviewing people about the situation around the station. I ask simple questions like.
"How would you rate the overall security of the station/Do you feel safe on the station"
"How would you rate your co-workers, is/are there any particular person(s) in your team that is/are noteworthy?"
"How many meals/drinks/minerals/veggies have you managed to produce during this shift"
then i keep rolling around, writing down any good or bad things that happen around me (like HoP giving access to people without proper paperwork, When security officer uses too much force on cuffed person or when bartender/chef is being kind and serving people quickly). I usually just emote "Frank Anderson is writing something in his memo", then shake or nod my head, smile, fix my tie, cough etc etc etc. I let the people know that i am present, and let them figure out if they did something wrong or not. I am just an observer, who's weapons are pen, paper, fax machine and a cup of coffee.
I usually send my report to the NT rep (if there is one), and captain (if there is one), and then i usually ask them to review it together with me and then we will choose the best course of action. But captain is usually too busy, and he keeps running around the hallways with guns blazing but now and then i have had some good chats with NT rep. Then, if both of them ignore me, i write that shit down on the paper, and fax it to the Centcomm, and tell them that Captain is being a comdom, and NT rep is sleeping on duty. I rarely got reply from centcomm, but i usually just keep camping around the fax machine, and hope that they will send reply.
After writing multiple report, best quotes are
"i would rate science, Blown up/10"
"Captain is being a massive comdom.. again"
"Warden is out there, arresting people instead of watching over the prisoners"
"What do you mean there is something wrong with my grilled burned mess?"
My guidelines for IAA
- Observe and interact with crew. Note all the good and bad things that happen around you. Try to stay out of the harms way and stay neutral.
- Show your paper work to Captain/NT rep, and suggest the course of actions that should be taken to improve the situation on the station.
- Always tell/write the truth. You are loyalty implanted and you can't lie.
- Experiment and improve your paper work. Make the reports look neat and professional!
- Stock your office with food and drinks. At least you will have enough supplies to survive the shit storm that is happening around you.
- Write that fakkin report and fax that damn thing into space!