NTSAM

/tg/ has a midround event called Fugitives I believe, sort of the same idea w/criminals that just spawn in but they need to be caught. As Dark said they operate in a grey area in regards to /tg/'s rules on antags. Similar events regarding roundstart permabrigs have happened before, too! There was an Elysium POW transferred to the Cyberiad's permabrig for some reason, a few days ago.

There's a wild amount of depth in the events leading to and following the roburgering of Madi Kasper. And it all started with a desire to copy my ass.

After seeing Robert do his thing, I wondered if I could beat his record of photocopying his ass on every photocopier on the station. Cue NT-Sam, Assistant, aboard the NSS Cyberiad, here to copy her source code everywhere and anywhere she shouldn't be. Round starts and I immediately nab a multitool and full set of tools from Tool Storage as is tradition. I break into the NT Rep's office first, emptying their copier of toner skillfully, shoving myself in the trash to come back around and do the BS' office -- But I flush the disposals too soon and am detained by a security borg, who lets me off with a sinister warning in Trinary. I walk out of the brig into the front of the bridge, where I see Uv'uidrrixz playfully threatening the Representative. I joke, "Let's kill the representative," and he actually breaks into the bridge to table poor Scarlett. In the chaos that ensued, I nabbed a CE's baton and telebatonned all of command, stealing the NT Rep's staff as well and strolling into the captain's office to do my photocopying. Eventually the Blueshield comes along and I baton them and empty their taser into them before being chased around the station by their girlfriend. After a yaketysax I go to the Garden to meet back up with Uv, and see the blueshield naked and in cuffs and a grey in pajamas being escorted away. Suddenly an officer starts to detain Uv so we make a break for the maintenance tunnel and do incredibly well at fending off the Security force until Rioz and Shesi comes along and skillfully kicks our respective chitinous and metallic asses. Apparently... Our harmless shenanigans crossed paths with actually genuinely diabolical shenanigans in which the BS was forcefully fed a roburger and stripped, out of nowhere. We try explaining that we had absolutely no idea about Sputnik's plot, but are charged with aiding and abetting -- Fair enough, into perma we go... For about half a minute, until Sputnik's subverted borg breaks open perma. Uv' and I are good boys and decide to stay in perma, and just as I move in for a heat of the moment kiss, tesloose. We get out of there and the warden starts shooting at us with buckshot despite neither of us having lethal intent, and Uv bleeds out from his injuries while I slowly run out of oil and collapse as I'm dragged around. We miss the shuttle and the pods, and I'm left in the brig with the Warden, who kills himself, and an officer (or maybe it was an IAA?) who was killed in the wonderfully-timed radiation storm. Round ends with Sam handcuffed on the floor playing centuries-old music for herself while her oil reserves deplete. TL;DR: Tried photocopying my ass throughout the station, ended up dying in the Brig for accidentally aiding and abetting roburger-based murder.

R5.5, the captain insists the AI is rogue and is currently forcing his way into the satellite to card them, alongside the RD! They're destroying turrets and doors trying to get to them. With said AI on standard corporate module, what is the most productive course of action?

Did you know you can boobytrap crates? I believe all you need to do is hit a closed crate with cable coil and an electropack. It's like touching a shocked grille or door. Hit a booze bottle full of ants with a welder until superhot for a horrid ghetto weapon. Just slam it over someone's head. Niti taught me both of these tips. You can use mousetraps as an assembly component in large grenades for landmines. Remember to prime them. Put a primed one in a backpack and they'll be set off when someone tries to open the backpack. Take away unruly prisoners' shoes, if they end up bolting out of the brig they'll run slower than your officers and be prone to getting glass shards in their feet. IIRC CHANGELING husks don't have blood. If you're trying to figure out the difference between someone who's just been horribly, horribly BURNT vs lingified, and can't figure it out from circumstance, try taking a blood sample. oh yeah, my absolute favorite, most useless tip of all time: fill a cup of cup ramen with 10 units of water to make slightly more nutritious and warm cup ramen!!!!!

A rather... actually typical sight aboard the Cyberiad. The council will decide your fate.

Silence S is a very sweet diona.

Full Name: Zven Zramn Age: 28 years of age, in Universal Time standards Gender: Male Race: Kidan Blood Type: A- General Occupational Role(s): Doctor, Brig Physician, Blueshield, Warden Biography: Qualifications: Employment Records: Security Records: Medical Records: Personnel Photo (Appearance text): Commendations [only to be added by admin]: Reprimands [only to be added by admin]: Other Notes: Zven is left handed and has a debilitating phobia of butterflies. The mere mention of butterflies makes his... skin..? crawl.

Medical. I love being doctor but man, it just makes me hate the department worse these days. I don't get how so many people can be so bad at a job you can do actually reasonably well with by reading the wiki and asking other people for help. And one so vital to the flow of the round! And then you have the people that plug their virtual ears, defy any sense, and try to clone a robot.

I made toilet water boobytraps and pranked these two so bad I felt guilty.

Be me, IPC warden. Processing a Sleeping Carp user for perma alone because no one would listen to my repeated calls for an assistant officer. Shove him in isolation for the the time being. Stun, uncuff, stun again... He gets right back up almost instantly and punches my limbs off to death Sit in robotics for 15 minutes getting revived, find out prisoner was executed for murder, go cryo because the lack of assistance made me grumpy.

APCs are in every major room and hallway, though

give them wings and neon green plating mandatory oh yes and fucking horrid degenerated animal lookalike manufacturers only, delet everything else

it was literally a win button if you had a gun

Exactly what I had in mind, yes.

"The Energetically Autonomous Tactical Robot (EATR) was a project by Robotic Technology Inc. (RTI) and Cyclone Power Technologies Inc. to develop a robotic vehicle that could forage for plant biomass to fuel itself, theoretically operating indefinitely. It was being developed as a concept as part of the DARPA military projects for the United States military. The project elicited some internet and media rumors after news circulated that the robot would (or at least could) ingest human remains." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Energetic ... ical_Robot Sounds very SS13-y. Perhaps we can add it as an "auto harvester" tool or something of the sort for Botany, that, when emagged, would run after people to slice them with its (moderately weakened) chainsaw and chop em up? Or perhaps just a pretty beefy traitor robot (obviously with a high TC price)

Hm, you know, I kinda remember when, like, SS13 was a game at heart, you get what I'm saying? Something people would play for fun, you know? Sure, there was some roleplay masking tape, but it was still entertaining! And stimulating! The rounds were short enough to keep things fresh, too. Oh man, those were the days. Such a shame that it's shifting slowly towards Slightly-Enhanced Desk Job Simulator 2016, tsk tsk.

hurr durr gimme my instakill where's my one hit button

i remember when event ideas were more than just "a normal round, but longer"

Wasn't the xeno as a gamemode thing broken?

Y'all are forgettin we have asteroids and caverns we could pull a russian and put them in there with a basic space suit and spess equipment

weeb waifu station 13 they should spawn with kimono-jumpsuit combos tbqh

Ah, alright. Good to hear you're doin' better now.

Are you alright, PD?