Chronarch

BEER would not make a good dad. Remember: he is a drunk, he disappears for pretty large amounts of time, I don't think it would end well. Also he wasn't programmed to raise a kid, or even uh... be lewd. Also that's not how IPCs work. And LILY... Well, when she played, she wasn't very much caring for her well-being.

Same thing with Trinary I'll do this now!

Was trying to make a good slogan Pretty much, fill the glass to 50u, and people will be happier :P

Oh god, that's great! I really want to see more of Joe from Accounting

Well, ya want help becoming a good bartender, eh? Rise above the masses, and such? Came to the right place. Name's B.E.E.R, I've been tending to bars for around 33 years now. Needless to say, I know my shit. First and foremost, looks. You want to be respected, start here. See that top hat on your counter? Wear that shit, it looks good. Don't take off those shades, either. They will actually scan containers, and tell you what's in them Now for your uniform, you've got a couple choices here, fashionwise. You've got the standard uniform with a bow tie, that looks okay. Make sure you wear a jacket with this There's the Amish suit in your wardrobe in the back, which is better. Make sure you wear a jacket with this If you're feeling really fancy, go on down to the clothesvend and grab the executive suit, It's bound to turn some heads. Don't wear that armor, either. You really shouldn't need it. LACEUP SHOES: WEAR THEM. I mean, you're wearing a fancy-ass suit, and then sneakers, or sandals. Come on. Keep that bandolier on, for intimidation points. You see a dapper man with a belt full of shotgun shells, are you gonna fuck with him? If you're of the more feminine persuasion, the following is likely to look better: The standard uniform with a waistcoat would work quite well, although definitely keep the laceups and hat. If you want to go for a more fancy custom outfit, I recommend checking out the Victorian attire. Alright, so you look the part. Now to equip yourself properly. You got a shotgun in the back, it's a classic double barrel. Get rid of your bag, and put her there. Trust me, you won't need a bag. You are able to recolor the shotgun to more fit your looks. I personally like the faded grey, it blends right in. (alt click to recolor, use a pen to rename.) In the back as well is a shaker, should be right next to the shotty. For the love of Synthetica, use this to mix drinks! It's 100 units, and is made to mix things in! Make sure you set the transfer rate to 50 Back to the counter now, grab that rag if someone hasn't already. Use it to wipe off glasses when people are done drinking from them. or make a molotov There's a zippo, grab that as well. Even if you don't smoke, you can light cigs for people, and look badass doing it. You got your shit, now to make the bar look nice. You got a stack of books and shit on your table by the booze-o-mat, clear that off. Those books are junk anyway. Toss the russian revolver on that table too. This will display it, while keeping it secure. Put out some glasses, on the other counter, by the dispensers. Make them neat and orderly. NEVER make large amounts of drinks and toss them out there. This isn't the damned kitchen. Make drinks to order, and clean up when the person is done. If someone wants to reorganize, let them If you're good at construction and interior design, you could do it too So, you look good, feel good. Time for how to actually do things So, someone walks into the bar, what do you do? Greet them by last name unless you personally know them, and ask if they would like something to drink. Assuming they ordered, place a glass in front of the guy, as confirmation that they ordered, and you heard. You toss the shaker in the relevant dispenser, and mix that shit. Make sure you make more than 50u. Full glasses make for less asses. Pour out the drink, then put the shaker back in the dispenser to empty it. When they leave, wipe off the glass, and put it back. Make conversation with people! You're not a damned automa! Ask questions, or tell stories! Don't make the questions or stories too personal, you'll just creep people out. Lights went out! What now? Don't panic. Make for the office, and grab two packs of eternal candles. Light them in the packaging, and throw them around the room. Make sure you don't hit people. If the power is out as well, grab the keg, or the booze cabinet as well. How to deal with shitters I have a system I use for shitters, the three strike system. First strike, I will warn the person to not do it again. Second strike, I will shoot them twice in the chest, and drag them out of the bar. After this, alert sec Your bandolier, and by extension, your shotgun, are loaded with 5cm beanbag slugs. Two of these to the chest will knock anyone onto their ass. Third strike, and if sec is not responding, I will get violent. If they are attacking you go straight to strike three. Bottle to the head will knock the guy on their ass and soak them with nice flammable alcohol. If they continue being a shit after being bottled, you have that zippo still, right? Time to burn, bitches. If someone is climbing over the bar, you can click on the table to knock them off Most importantly: Make this your bible Feel free to ask me any questions!

A child IPC? heresy! Nonetheless, great aurt!

It's quiet... two quiet...

Hey! I'm in this one!

Celino and Barnes, Injury Attorneys, call 888-8888 That is one commercial jingle that will never leave my head

Ooh, me likey! I usually very much so dislike fighting in the bar, but this seems classy.

I think you miscounted, because I see five Deaf Squids

We should probably use a different joke so that people don't think we've skipped at least 5 numbers

Damn it Vargh! On another note, We are almost at the ONE hundredth page!

Find anyone over 16 in my country, and they can give you a lift

We do out best! *out *OUR Third time's the charm, I suppose

4 heads?! This is just outrageous!

Fuck, you're right. One round of roulette?

Dual bluespace needle array charging for fire. Ready in two seconds.

Four ERT members sent to deal with the demons

I'm five posts late to yell at mcramon

I've done a few sketches of BEER and DICE as traitors, even have little phrases for them BEER: "I'd offer you a drink, but *esword activates* you know how it is." DICE: "Care for a game of cards?" "No? *pulls a revolver* How about roulette?" Anyway, great art as always dreamy! Charisma emanates from traitor Zeke

Not creative enough! 12 minutes in the brig!

@SampaiiiPlease tell me there was mention of the Armalis

JUSTICE wears the officer cap whenever possible, because hell yes. Even if he gets mistaken for the warden sometimes

Preparing 8 dictionaries for the grand spelling correction