TheClosetMailman

Yup, without a permit he lynches you. Found out the hard way when I picked up an abandoned tazer

Rsik looks ready to be dragged to the brig at this point. He just begs Syndicate all over his shady demeanor. .... hiiiiiissss

all slimes look the same So says the vox-

Oh! Yes! Cheese wedges are in fact, superior lifeforms!

I honestly want a custom one for both Navera and Alfred Reach, question is not about the money though, but where the f- I get a ref sheet. The problem of being about as artistically inclined as a vox is the fact artists scare you and you cannot even fathom a proper commission sheet.. i also just love the sweat meme in general, still cracks me up

lies, skreeeeee- Also, seems like the pervs on DeviantArt convinced you- Now, you're awfully close to a good bwoinking miss, better down it a notch on the pretty pretty skrell gi- boy.

Don't worry, I'm not worrying at all .... *Scream

I'm still waiting for the day he accidentally rests the blade with the edge towards his shoulder. Gonna be a fun story for the paramedic to tell the CMO. On a more serious note, that's some bloody awesome art you got there mate, cheers!

Now that's a panic attack if I've ever seen one. Especially to a rookie. Seriously, if I had that many alarms going off, I would just jump into the singulo

Or was it two?

Not even a bwoink?

Admin tools Ability to give one chosen person a free ticket to the Clown planet, reserved for those "special" cases. A literal banhammer that crushes its target into a fleshy mass, a loud bwoink can be across station when it hits. One big red button to automatically gib anyone carrying a blue toolbox One big blue button to turn everyone into various Ians. One big green button to automagically inject everyone with 5 units of toilet water. Random species ideas 1/100 chance for whenever a vox rustles their quills, it'll cause them to catch on fire, due to friction. Humans can suffer from toolboxitis, a disease that causes toolboxes to grow from their hands. Unathi move faster the hotter they are, the fastest being when on fire, consequently they move slower if cold and are completely stunned if exposed to freezing water/air. Vulpkanin constantly shed small parts of their fur, perfect for driving the janitor mad and making the surgery ward an even bigger biohazard than before. You can use a plasma man as a substitute for a singularity core, in case you manage to lose the old one. Random traitor ideas Lightling, the exact opposite of a shadowling, is added, have fun running around in total darkness to stay safe, thralls are identified by glowing eyes, so have fun kidan boys. In case a nuke ops flukes, a HONK Syndicate Squad is automatically called in. Abductors and Nuke ops can now happen at the same time, watch people metagame the fuck out the moment you abduct the HOP. Entrepreneuring tator engineers can now create themselves a Tesla car, literally a small Tesla orb with wheels and a steering wheel. The IAA can now be a traitor.... Of boredom, objectives include pressing the HOS into suicide over the paperwork and making sure the clown is straightjacketed and getting mental help. None of these are to be taken seriously, thus the title.

Aw, that lil corgi just warms my heart! My dead, cold, greytiding heart.. And then there's Zeke, who's smile could stun you like a flashbang. Seriously, what toothpaste does he use, I wanna know-

sacrifice the skrell to the gods

It was ONE time, ONE time, I swear- The logs are all a conspiracy- GREYTIDE CHRISTMASWIDE-

Sssssshhhh, the admemes might misinterpret that and gives us three warnings-

No ONE but us!

On the first day of spessmass, the admins gave to me... A bwoink and some therapy!

Two more to go!

Another round, another day in medbay Being a surgeon, i quickly grab my usual gear and set up an OR with ease, handing off my defib to a paramedic and acquiring two medkits for some reason..... Now, over comms, i quickly hear some chatter from my fellow doctors, turns out one of them, a fellow named Jean, wants to become a surgeon apprentice. I quickly volunteer (as the only) surgeon, CMO gets him reassigned to me, where i quickly see Jean is essentially a greytider but in medical clothes. No really, bald, black eyes, but thankfully very talkative and open minded, lovely fellow. I acquire him some red surgical scrubs, to differentiate him from my blue scrubs, and get him to put on a mask and gloves, then wash hands, afterwards, i acquire us a humanized monkey. I teach him the very basics, cut, clamp, retract, then continue with the other steps, such as drilling, sawing and cauterizing. He`s very open-minded, quickly doing what i show him. A guy i presume decided to jump from a tall ledge without a parachute, rolls into medbay, every damm bone broken. I shove the monkey aside and start preparing to fix his.... well, everything. I explain everything i do to Jean and let him do the bone repair steps, gel, set, gel, then patch the patient up. We do this to two of his seven affected body parts before we see he`s gone SSD. Another fella waltzes in, IB, i shove off the SSD fella and begin. I let Jean do it this time, cut, clamp, retract, then show him the fix-o-vein, unfortunatly we didnt put the patient under, so Jean fails a few times, damaging the patient, he grows anxious from it, thinking i`ll judge, which i dont, because he was a newbie, i let a borg do it instead. The shift goes on, after a few, less severe cases, where i`ve let Jean do the steps, RND delivers the fancy IMS surgery tools. Jean is amazed and confused, never having seen those before. When he finds out the IMS essentially does the first three steps of any surgery FOR him, he`s sold. With it, he patches up more patients, doing better and faster each time. A guy that wants to be implanted comes in, we agree, and i teach Jean about implants and how you put them in. After he`s done, having done everything according to my instructions, i decide i have taught him enough and get him promoted from "Assistant Surgeon" to "Surgeon". He`s overjoyed, so am i, we highfive and cheer, before returning to medbay to get back to work. At this point, im tired, but happy, i say goodbye, hand him the IMS and head to cryo. ..... It`s shifts like these that draw you to the game, at least for me. And to Jean? If he reads this, i`m bloody proud of ya.

If IPCs were like that one in that picture, i would start carrying makeshift guns more often. Also, all of that fanart is pretty!

What the absolute vox is going on there

The mug perfectly describes his situation. Poor Jenkins, the laughing stock of NT and followed by a lovesick beast that can obliterate him just by staring.

I can already see myself paying a contractor to build the ultimate IPC killing machine. Or, you know, a EMP grenade but I'm too shy to ask for one, I mean, why do you think I wear a goddamm balaclava. I don't hate IPCs, but they tend to always be my targets, that, or vox, but I can point a suspicious flashlight at them too and "fix" them.