So one day i was again playing Hans Zimmermann, the mostly friendly fat german guy.
On that fatefull shift i was a Botanist and for the first 10 Minutes things where going well. I did the usal Botany start with the Plant disk and i planted all the Stuff the Chef wanted. He gave me a Sugarcane for my good work, oh that damn Sugercan. So what did our favorite fat german guy did? He ate the Sugarcane and exploded 10 Minutes into the Shift. What a great shift so far. So luckly the HoS (Sorry i am not good with Names so you can enter your Names in the coments and i will add them later) came by and picked up my brain to get it to Robotics. My brain got stuffed in a Robotic Interface or something like that. I can talk again nice. So i explaind how i exploded and everything. Meanwhile a Medical Doctor got my Head and atached it to a monkey(This is important later). After explaing everything, the HoS gave my brain to the CMO(Again comment your Name and i will add it). The frindly CMO then humanized a monkey to test the sugarcane with the HoS first. He did not explode...(the morale of the story dont eat sugarcanes if you are allready fat). So far so good we are now half an hour into the shift. Then the CMO went with me to Botany where i exploded an left a huge mess. Unfortunaly a shitass Janitor went by and saw that mess... And he threw a cleaning granade into Botany.... and he washed away all my blood. So the CMO cant get any blood from my "body". Luckly around this time we get infromed that my Head is on a monkeys Body. Good at least i can get back into my own head. The Monky laid with my head ontop of it, allready on the surgeontable. But my head looked kinda grey... So the friendly miss CMO tried to put my brain back into my decomposing head and it didnt work. What a great shift so far. Allright last possible solution borging. So we went to Robotics to get myself a fine new body. Buuuut we need a signed paper from the Captain to get me borged. Well this should not be a big problem right? False! Our currently Captain was Sam McGyver a human male... but everyone on the station called him a female and harrased him a bit. Then he got realy drunk and we talked nearly half an our to him to get that damn borging form. What whe get was a piece of paper with the captain stamp on it.... that has to be enough right? Right! So we went back to Robotics, got myself a nice new Body (We are now one and a half hour into the shift btw). So the only thing left is to get myself a new ID and i can go back to work. So the friendly Robotics guy and my new body went to the HoP line wich was closed... nice. So he tried to contact the HoP via comms but got no respond for 10 minutes so he startet deconstructing his windows.....What a nice shift so far. Finaly the HoP respondet after beeing threadend with deconstructing his walls. I got a new ID and Hans can finaly get back to botany..... wich was totaly fucked right now. The Seedventor was stolen, the Botanicsventor was on shock everything mode and we got an Terrorspider outbreak. WHAT A NICE FUCKING SHIFT!. So last thing that happend i got trashed by a red Terrorspider.
(I know my english grammer is not very good i am no native englisch speaker but this helps to remember some stuff from school)
