Tales of a CE: The Great Bluespace Crusade

[ChaserGrey]

So there I am last night, Chief Engineer again with a pretty good crew.  Which is good, because the order comes down from CentCom: build the dreaded Bluespace Artillery.  We swing into gear, making RCDs for everyone and building a room south of Secure Storage to hold our science project.  Takes us quite a while, mainly due to lack of Bluespace crystrals, and meanwhile there's apparently vampires on the station.  Whatever.  Between the BSA project and the inevitable hull breaches I'm way too busy to care about a few bloodsuckers.

 Most of the station, however, does not share my opinion- after the Captain and HoS decide to parole the captured vampires there was a great hue and cry, with the Chaplain leading the call for a crusade against the bloodsuckers and preaching hellfire and damnation over the radio.  About this time we finish the artillery and I go looking for a GPS to test-fire it, which takes waaaay longer than it should have.  In the meantime, the admins decide, in the spirit of jolly fun, to declare that nobody will be punished OOC for participating in the Crusade.  Cue, of course, a lynch mob making its way towards the Brig- either the vampire never actually got paroled, or he was in protective custody there.

About that time I finally get the GPS out into the Toxins testing area and get clear.  My second, Reyes, and I have the following conversation over the radio:

CE: "Okay, lock on to the GPS called FIRE."

Reyes: "...I'm at the console.  It's already been fired."

CE: "Wait, by who?  At what?"

(Someone on common): THE BRIG JUST BLEW UP!!!

Random, mild mannered mechanic: DEUS VULT, BROTHERS!

CE & Eng, and whole department: Shit.

Utter fucking chaos ensues.  We run to the BSA with murder in our eyes, find it empty, then run to the brig to try to fix it, while the station command structure tries to find out who's dead and who's alive.  The other vampire is running for his life, the mob is still baying for blood, and the only good part of the whole picture was that the Chaplain seemed to have been caught in the BSA blast.  We're trying to patch things up when a voice comes over Engi coms:

Unknown(Engineering): Thanks for leaving secure storage open, brothers.

Whole department: SHIT!

This time he got Medbay.  Like, all of it.  I get to Engineering with my welder out.  Reyes meets me there, fire axe in hand.  No words need be spoken.  We run down to the BSA, the mechanic runs, and suddenly there are carp.  Because of course there are carp.  And xenomorphs all of a sudden.  The carp finish me and I spend the rest of the round in deadchat...

...but I do get to see, from beyond the grave, Reyes catch the mechanic, chop him into pieces with the axe, and put his head outside Engineering as a warning to- well, I'm not sure who.  But it needed to happen.

That's it, except that this is the kind of story I feel compelled to end with, "and that's how it all happened, Your Honor."