The shift where all of security dissapeared

[CPTCoffee]

I was playing IAA. Code green, 10 minutes into the round and was already seeing shitcurity at it's finest. People were being tazed without warning. No arrest set. Records not updated. The civilians were getting harm battoned. I told the officers and the warden to get their shit together. So a little later on we get set to code blue. "Possible traitors" although almost every single door was emagged at this point and teleporter gun was stolen. 3 suspects were in processing. One guy looked like he killed 5 other traitors to get their items.

 Contraband after contraband. Uzi , space suit, emag, emp implant...you name it. Warden was processing him which was all good. I was helping this fresh officer process this civilian. The officer next to me, let's call him officer Whoops, was processing the barber.  Officer Whoops finds safety scissors  (a known traitor item) and says that they should be free to go. The warden comes over, points to the scissors and tells him that is a traitor item and he needs to be permabrigged.  Officer Whoops decides this guy is innocent and tests it on the warden to prove a point. I'm yelling at him to fucking drop the scissors and there he goes. Just slices the warden's throat wide open. Warden goes crit. Blood everywhere. Coms go down. I yell for the brig Phycisian. Officer Whoops gets beat down by the other officer and arrested. Meanwhile Contraband Sam gets loose and starts taking all his stuff from the table and equips it. Armed with only a laser pointer I shine that fucker in the eyes. He's blinded but still is armed and is firing the weapon. Officer Whoops gets free of the chair but is still cuffed. The barber is now free too. 

So here we are. The brig Phycisian and IAA trying to stun and cuff 3 suspects . The only officer still in the room tried to murder the warden.  We both do not have access to the equipment lockers. I decide to release the shitcurity for the moment. The 3 of us manage to get Contraband Sam locked up again. Sweeny Todd is on the loose and the civilian that I was helping search earlier is still tied to the chair yelling for help. I shake  the warden. She is SSD.  Fucking great. I tell the officer to get all the equipment off that syndie and throw him into perma.  He goes to do it and *BOOM*. Processing blows up. My arm goes flying in another direction bit I'm otherwise ok. I look up at the equipment lockers and see this officer just casually get dressed. I do a double take and see his pda and is on the floor. ASSISTANT. I run to the intercom and yell for engineering and all of sec to come to the brig right now. Nobody comes. Do it again. No one. 

I see the brig Phycisian heading trying to get out of the brig. I try and follow but I brush up against an electrified door and go into crit. Fuck. I can't go out the front. There's only space and in my condition I will surely die. I try to head out another maintenance door but my legs give out and I start fading in and out of consciousness. I yell for help. It's useless. No one is in the brig except for that one traitor. So instant praying for help. My prayers go unanswered. Then I get mad and start praying for a curse of bees to thwart the remaining security force . Nothing. When I wake up again a medical both is dragging me to the medbay. They fix me up, give me some new limbs in robotics and everything. I know what I need to do. I run back to my office and start typing up a report to the HOS, Captain, and Central command about the gross incompetence of the security force. Reccomendation to brig the one officer and fire the rest. I send a copy to each one. Shuttle has been boarded by the time I send out the last fax. 

 

Edit: Changed the officer's name. He didn't do it on purpose. 

Edited May 17, 2017 by CPTCoffee
Changed the officer name.

[Monstrant]

I was the officer and the thing is... I knew the skissors were the traitor item however Physician and the other officer were being obsidian that they are just skissors. I tried testing them on myself. It said I was just cutting hair so I stopped the action. (The main issue was that I did not know if barber by default has the said skissors. just the not slitting version so i had no way of knowing it was guaranteed to be a traitor item.)  I mentorhelp asking how to activate skissors ability (Another note: I also was trying to Brig the guy its the otther officer which tried stopping me so I had to test) They tell me head on help intent. I foolishly decide to test on the warden ( Who did not die or crit, I was later accused of manslaughter) Yes I apologize if I did not test it on her and on me it would have been better. But in the heat of the moment I was too focused on getting the Barber arrested ( who had chaplain's gear as well and tried to Wolololo me which is why they were brigged in the first place) I did not think that through and so... Well Warden got like 80 ox damage ( which is still not crit and heals 15 seconds after) The true shitcurity officer decides that I knowingly, a mindshielded officer, tried to kill the Warden ( while i did it due to lack of ingame knowledge and the resistance from the said shitcurity officer ) is a murderer and should be arrested. So everyone leaves I am left with IAA in the Processing. The traitors escape and the fun begins. I cuffed them at least 5 times... In the end when I was about to cuff the Barber, the said officer comes and I yell something like "Get the barber!" They tase me instead. Cuff me and drag to captain. While a known and dangerous armed traitor is running on the loose. I get accused and sentenced by Captain who couldnt give a flying fuck to look into situation properly. Permabrig for accidentally killing the Warden... even though she did not die.

 

TL DR: I did not know the skissors were traitor or not. I knew they were a contraband item but the other officer insisted that barber is allowed to carry these ( I assumed they get the real safety skissors roundstart) so my real fault is testing it on the Warden. I should not have done that.

[Anoonki]

Wow, I actually didn't expect "Officer Clusterfuck" (No offence meant.) to step forward and take responsibility for that.

Anyways, this sounds like a magnificent series of events, nice.

[Monstrant]

15 minutes ago, Anoonki said:

Wow, I actually didn't expect "Officer Clusterfuck" (No offence meant.) to step forward and take responsibility for that.

Anyways, this sounds like a magnificent series of events, nice.

Well... It was my fault in the end and I recognize that the way I handled events was.... Less than ideal.

[Monstrant]

45 minutes ago, CPTCoffee said:

Sweeny Todd

So is this my new nickname now?

[CPTCoffee]

12 minutes ago, Agent_Che said:

So is this my new nickname now?

Oh no. I was talking about the traitor barber. Thanks for owning uo to it. To give you credit you were the only officer to actually stick around whereas the rest of the department went to go circle jerk off in space or whatever they were doing. 

[Monstrant]

And I got tasered in the end letting traitor escape... I know.

[CPTCoffee]

23 minutes ago, Agent_Che said:

And I got tasered in the end letting traitor escape... I know.

Basically the thing you did wrong was use the contraband. Don't ever use it. It is evidence and should be processed accordingly. If you do need to really test it use it on a monkey or something. It's in the SOP that contraband aren't to be used even in evidence storage. The warden did go into crit. She fell to the floor almost immediately after being cut. She did survive but was SSD.  Now that's where it should have stopped. The rest of the security team should have called HOS.  Finished processing the prisoners and put you in cuffs. Deal with the prisoners before you. They did not. Then they panicked when the going went tough and fled.  That's where things really went to shit. It wouldnt be SS13 if things went smoothly. You learn from getting your ass handed to you.  Now you know not to test contraband on other people. When I started sec I didn't realize you should pull instead of grab handcuffed prisoners. I let a lot of traitors escape that way. After getting captured by a chageling,  he started pulling me around maintenance and I couldn't escape. That's where I learned that pulling is better than a firm grab. 

Edited May 17, 2017 by CPTCoffee

[Monstrant]

Just now, CPTCoffee said:

The warden did go into crit. She fell to the floor almost immediately after being cut. She did survive but was SSD. 

I believe she immediately SSD. Because while I was cuffed the barber slit my throat. And I did not go into crit. And yes I definately should not have used it even if it was potential.