Press Corps: License to Slander (Journalist)

[Fatbackwards]

 

[scene - Exterior: Spaceship - Day]

 

Camera pans slowly around a giant spaceship orbiting a blue and green planet, with numerous clouds. Ship model has jagged edges and is in the shape of a large swooping, eagle-like body. Wispy ethereal music plays as the camera pans, showing the jagged edges... occasionally catching windows where you can see crew doing various activities. The camera pans towards the front of the ship, and proceeds to zoom in into a large window. The crew activity is alive and bustling, with many consoles occupied as people wander from station to station asking various things. Nicholas Cage in the center of the room, facing towards the windows; sporting a black trench-coat and lit cigar on his lips, his hair disheveled and face scruffy-looking. [Note to DP: We will see his full erect penis]

 

Nicholas Cage: "Jenny, what's the results from our scans?"

 

A lone woman standing two meters tall, standing to his right on one of the non-descript consoles. She enters a few commands, and turns to Cage.

 

'Jenny': "Captain, the results are the same time and time again! He's out there, but we can't seem to track him down! The Earth's agriculture and vegetation are giving problems with our scans!"

 

Nicholas Cage turns abruptly to her, eyes wide. The music turns ominous, with harsh military-rolling drum beats.

 

Nicholas Cage: "Jenny... are you telling me what I think you're telling me? That we can't find one man on this planet? That all of this... this..." Nicholas Cage sweeps his arms around in a flashy gesture, flapping them ever so gently. "...BULL-SHIT... can't find... ONE man?!"

 

The woman flinches and starts to respond.

 

Nicholas Cage: "No." Nicholas Cage holds his hand up. "I see now what I have to do. Cage turns to his right. "Get my bike ready... I'll have to Ghost Rider this one."

 

A small fanfare is heard intermixed with the rolling drum beats as Nicholas Cage turns and marches off the bridge. Hush whispers are heard and the camera pans and zooms out from the bridge, giving us one more look at the space ship. Music finishes in a crescendo and is silent.

 

[End Scene]

 

[scene - Underwater: Pineapple - Day]

Camera pans down and pushes in under the water. Music starts with a more alive and happy beat.... mixed with some Tiki and Hawaiian influences. Camera zooms in on a yellow sponge in his mid-twenties, in squarish-pants. [Note to DP: We will see his full erect penis] The camera slides lazily around the o----

 

 

 

"OH!"

 

[Papers shuffling]

 

"I didn't see you there! Sorry! I was just working on a personal s-s-story of mine!"

 

[Hastily hides the papers in his desk]

 

"Uhm... please come in, won't you?!"

 

[Wipes sweat from brow]

 

"So, I take it you saw the ad in the paper?"

 

[Waits for response]

 

"Uh... Right... We here at NanoTrasen are looking for people to fill in vacancies in our regular crew compliment. I assume you're here for the Journalism position?"

 

[Waits for response]

 

".... Not much of a talker, are you? I hope you're as good a writer as you are a talker, because the NT Press Corps needs every member it can get nowadays."

 

[Pulls out a brown bottle from inside his desk, lighting a cigarette while doing so.]

 

"Belt of scotch?"

 

[Eyes you slowly, eyes narrowing]

 

"Hmph, you're gonna learn to love drink in this profession."

 

[swigs a deep swig from the bottle... nearly swallowing the lit cigarette.]

 

"*coughs* Alrigh--- *coughs* Alright.... so. I need a few people on station to be 'THE VOICE' of the station. It's a simple job, actually... one that a monkey could do..."

 

[Turns to the left, looking at a framed portrait of a Gorilla in a suit, with the words 'Sir Banana Chimpinton the 2nd - Editor and Chief' in gold lettering below; hiding the bottle in the desk.]

 

"And has."

 

[sighs]

 

"So... lets begin with the basics..."

 

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[Expectations]

 

So, you want to be a journalist, huh? You've made the right decision. SS13 is a wonderland of stories that people love to share. Hell, it's why some people actually play this game altogether! Now, you may have some apprehensions about this kind of work. After all, when was the last time you saw a journalist on station, let alone someone who could actually influence anything? Well, don't fret... with this guide you'll be that much closer to deciding you want to play as someone else!

 

Is joke.

 

Anyways, one of the first things you should decide on is a simple question: What kind of journalist are you?

 

 

• - Are you a wartime reporter? Wearing an armor vest in the middle of combat, trying to get the story of the conflict and exclusive pictures of the antagonist.

   

  - Are you a paparazzi? Shadowing heads of staff or other prominent members and taking pictures when they get robusted or succumb to anything embarrassing.

   

  - Are you a news anchor? Reporting all news that is dealt to you, acting at the stations news conduit.

   

  - Are you a tabloid writer? Making up lies and slander, false threats, and snapping tailored or doctored photos to support your bogus claims.

   

  - Are you a gonzo journalist? Engrossing yourself in the story, and becoming apart of the action; while publishing your work to your readers.

   

  - Are you an editor-and-chief? Having the assistants/crew run around with recording and photographic equipment, coming to you with stories to publish.

   

  - Are you the station's propaganda minister? Publish only clean articles about the kindness and compassion of the heads of staff and GLORY TO NANOTRASEN!

 

 

Whatever one you choose to be, or whatever one you don't wish to be... it's all possible; with a little time and effort.

 

Also, what kind of brand do you want to be? Do you want to be known as 'THE JOURNALIST'? The pursuer of stories from around the station, with pen and camera thwarting crimes? Or would you want to be 'THE NEWS AGENCY'? The steel-edged conglomerate that sees and knows all?

 

--------------------------------

[The Job]

 

The job, is as you may have surmised, very RP and player heavy. You'll be writing articles that have to appeal not only to the character that someone is playing as, but to the player sitting behind the keyboard. It's a hit or a miss, honestly; something that comes with the territory. It's also kinda meta, as well (within reason)... as articles are actually news, and said articles can be referenced from previous rounds... if you remember them/someone else does. This makes for an interesting situation where if you reported a few rounds ago that the captain was a traitor, with proof... it could potentially hurt him this round to have it brought up again. Unfortunately, there is no in-game mechanic to call up old news articles... so this is totally reliant on the journalist, if they wish to do so.

 

No matter what kind of articles you want to write, you'll always have to do some research.... even if it's just research to piss someone off. Don't be afraid to get your hands dirty... carry a few tools around and learn how to quickly break into areas, carry an active sound recorder on you at all times to catch as much dialogue as possible (If possible, carry two - just in case someone searches you), carry a camera with you at all times with one cartridge of film. The Library has a camera with two rolls of film on the counter-top. Captain has one in his quarters, with a photo album that you can use to store pictures. The small maintenance room in arrivals main hallway has one, next to the crayons and wire. Detective has a special one with 30 pictures per roll. The morgue has one camera. Cargo can order an arts and crafts crate that includes a camera, two rolls of film, and a photo album.

 

Streaky Haddock says,

"... your PDA has a notekeeper function and you also have the 'add note function'. ALthough anybody can read your PDA notes if they get a hold of it, and empaths can read your memory (in-game note) (...) if you ever need to steal documents from say the Detective, Internal Affairs or the Centcomm Status Update you can use your PDA on it (provided you have your medical scanner or halogen scanner disabled) to instantly scan in any piece of paper into your PDA's notekeeper. There is also a video camera in your little satanic hidey-hole, which connects to the entertainment network which can be viewed from the entertainment monitors at the bar." [sic]

 

But above all, learn to blend in.

 

I can't even tell you the amount people change when a journalist is around them. Everyone starts to become very cordial and nice, cutting off topics, or just leaving your presence. Walking around as a freshly minted journalist, with your video camera and red suit, makes you a big target for someone with secrets. Toss on some assistants scrubs and a tool belt, grab an extra jumpsuit from a department, make yourself look as natural as possible with your surroundings. If that isn't possible... you could consider hiring people to help you with your job. Assistants usually wander the station in droves, and are always causing trouble... so it might be a good idea to focus that energy into something positive. The janitor and barkeep also hear a LOT... so it might be a good idea to get in on their good side.

 

Learn to communicate with people. And I don't mean... "Hi there, how are ya?" Your job is to be 'THE VOICE' of the station... and a voice with a very lax vocabulary doesn't carry far. Read up on a few techniques to interviews on YouTube, or simply watch the news for a few days... especially if there are any special reports to watch. Watch for how the content is presented, and what is being addressed. Make note of interviews, and what kind of questions are being asked. Read news articles on the internet, especially things that have to do with inter-personal conflicts.

 

Carry a notebook. And I don't mean just an in-game one. Really... part of being a good journalist is keeping your facts straight, and remembering about them. Keep a notebook while your playing the game and jot down anything you think might be interesting in the round. Make note of any characters playing, and what jobs they are. Note station events, and character interactions. If you hear people arguing over open comms at one another, write it down. Maybe you'll see them again on another shift... And you'll be ready.

 

--------------------------------

[The Writing]

 

Now, I can't tell you what to write. That's your business and yours alone. If you want to write Onion-style articles, Cracked's list style, blog style, NYT style, ect. or if you want to make your own style... it's all up to you. Journalism in SS13 gets a free hand as to how and what to write. Just get familiar with the newscaster system and text formatting. The Newscaster uses similar bb-code that writing does, so it will feel familiar if you tend to write a lot of in-game papers. Don't forget to insert a picture if you wish you add it to an article, and don't forget to REMOVE the picture from the caster AFTER you publish the article.

 

Also, keep in mind that freedom of press on station is subjective. Some heads of staff or the captain keep the tenant of free speech or freedom of the press. Some will only want to regulate it, it ensure no harm is done to the station. Some will outright try and execute you for that picture that you posted of security beating down the clown. Remember that the station is a dictatorship, not a democracy. The captain and heads of staff basically dictate what is good to publish and what is not... They can take down articles, or even serve your channel with a 'D-NOTICE' and shut your channel down. Usually, once that happens you'll have to see what the problem was, and try to solve it. Know though, that every journalist gets D-NOTICE'd at some point. It comes with the territory. I'd suggest keeping several channels open, with several different topics on them... if you're writing slanderous articles, at least you can have a fall back option. If worse comes to worse, just create a new channel and start reporting about the D-NOTICE. People become receptive of the news if it's been censored... and you should feel proud if you DO get censored. That only means someone was touched enough about what you wrote to actually give a damn about it.

 

Expect there to be lulls in your work. Sometimes the news is not blatant, and requires you to dig deep... or sometimes there simply isn't ANYTHING going on at the present moment to report on. Keep a few ideas on the back burner for times like these... so called 'gap filler' articles. But try not to flood the station with too many articles. People do get tired of constantly being nagged to, to read your articles, to be interviewed... Remember to vary it up. News comes from all directions and from all places, hence the acronym [NEWS = North East West South]. If you notice that you're struggling to get news articles, examine your interaction with people. Examine your fame... sometimes playing as one character will be detrimental to your work. You might come to be known as a journalist, and then no one will want to talk freely in front of you. Examine your work... maybe your articles aren't resonating with the stations crew, and no one wants to help you. Remember, you're writing articles not only for the characters... but for the players. Certain people might just not like your writing style. It happens. There may be no IC reason, actually. Sometimes you'll just have to grin and bear the damage... sometimes you'll might question your journalistic ethics... It's all apart of the job.

 

--------------------------------

[Closing]

 

This should help you get started with Journalism in SS13... Note that this guide is simply that, a guide. Take as much or as little advice from that as possible... see what works and what doesn't.

 

Understand, that the job is a bit more involved then other professions on the station. You have to be on your toes to work, always monitoring people... searching for the next big story, while keeping yourself relevant enough for people to care when you have one. It's a lot of leg work... and the pay off might not be immediate... but when done right, that job can move mountains. I've seen leaders dethroned, people executed, stations panic, heroes emerge, days saved, delicious OOC drama, and more. Good luck... and remember, booze is your friend in this profession.

 

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"... So, in short... you'll be supplying your own materials.... and you'll foot your own bill. Any questions?"

 

[stares at you, moving the cigarette slowly]

 

"Right then, the shuttle leaves at 'Zero-Eight-Hundred' hours tomorrow. That's Eight A M. 'AYE' 'EM'. Be there sharp, dressed, and ready. You've got a job to do."

 

[Pulls out a brown bottle and points it to you, again]

 

"Scotchga?"

 

[Eyes you narrowly, with a hostile expression]

 

"... what did I say about drinking? Hell with you... get out of my office!"

 

[belts the bottle down, swallowing in deep gulps, cigarette falling from the lips.]

 

"Wh... I SAID GET OUT! YOU GOT A SHUTTLE TO CATCH!"

 

[stands up and pushes you out the door.]

 

[barely heard]"... fuckin' excellent reporter... might replace Chimpinton... damnit...." [sound of glass shattering]

 

Edited May 28, 2014 by Guest

[necaladun]

 

This is a fantastic guide. Thank you a lot.

 

I love a good journalist. I miss Ace Reporter Tiffany Roberts.

 

I also happen to give karma to journalists often when ghosting around...

 

[Streaky Haddock]

 

I've done a bit of this, but I didn't put as much serious effort into this, and my detached editing style became very gonzo when the cult got me.

Very entertaining guide, but I should also mention about the IRL notebook that your PDA has a notekeeper function and you also have the 'add note function'. ALthough anybody can read your PDA notes if they get a hold of it, and empaths can read your memory (in-game note) I believe.

 

I should also mention that if you ever need to steal documents from say the Detective, Internal Affairs or the Centcomm Status Update you can use your PDA on it (provided you have your medical scanner or halogen scanner disabled) to instantly scan in any piece of paper into your PDA's notekeeper.

 

There is also a video camera in your little satanic hidey-hole, which connects to the entertainment network which can be viewed from the entertainment monitors at the bar.

I feel the video camera could use a little bit more support, as it's not overtly obvious to anybody when the video feed is live, and I think most people subconsciously ignore the entertainment monitors in the bar since they're never ever used to the point where I don't think people even realise they exist anymore.

 

[Fatbackwards]

 

I'll add those into the guide! Thanks Haddock!

 

And yeah, I totally forgot there was one in the Heads of Staff office.

 

[Hairy Ban Jhankri]

Now, I read the first part, and tried my hand at this. So, I went around pressing ALL of the corpse's I could find, and no license ever appeared. I even pressed the captain a few times, but they woke up. I guess they weren't actually dead. Oops. So, now, I am wondering; should I be pressing any particular part of a corpse? Should I press a corpse more than once? After I press enough corpses, and I get this license to slander, what can I actually do? I didn't actually read that far. Did you hide the secret in the guide, sort of like the rules with the hidden phrase, hairy sea, so people know you read them? I see your ploy. I bet you don't even have to press corpses at all.

[Zephzer]

Played this roll last night and I can honestly say it has become my favorite! Action News will always broadcast the truth!