A Synthanolic's guide to Bartending.

[Chronarch]

Well, ya want help becoming a good bartender, eh? Rise above the masses, and such? Came to the right place.

Name's B.E.E.R, I've been tending to bars for around 33 years now. Needless to say, I know my shit.

1. First and foremost, looks. You want to be respected, start here.
   • See that top hat on your counter? Wear that shit, it looks good.
   • Don't take off those shades, either. They will actually scan containers, and tell you what's in them
   • Now for your uniform, you've got a couple choices here, fashionwise.
     • You've got the standard uniform with a bow tie, that looks okay.  Make sure you wear a jacket with this
     • There's the Amish suit in your wardrobe in the back, which is better. Make sure you wear a jacket with this
     • If you're feeling really fancy, go on down to the clothesvend and grab the executive suit, It's bound to turn some heads.
   • Don't wear that armor, either. You really shouldn't need it.
   • LACEUP SHOES: WEAR THEM. I mean, you're wearing a fancy-ass suit, and then sneakers, or sandals. Come on.
   • Keep that bandolier on, for intimidation points. You see a dapper man with a belt full of shotgun shells, are you gonna fuck with him?
   • If you're of the more feminine persuasion, the following is likely to look better:
     • The standard uniform with a waistcoat would work quite well, although definitely keep the laceups and hat.
     • If you want to go for a more fancy custom outfit, I recommend checking out the Victorian attire.
2. Alright, so you look the part. Now to equip yourself properly.
   • You got a shotgun in the back, it's a classic double barrel. Get rid of your bag, and put her there. Trust me, you won't need a bag.
     • You are able to recolor the shotgun to more fit your looks. I personally like the faded grey, it blends right in. (alt click to recolor, use a pen to rename.)
   • In the back as well is a shaker, should be right next to the shotty. For the love of Synthetica, use this to mix drinks! It's 100 units, and is made to mix things in!
     • Make sure you set the transfer rate to 50
   • Back to the counter now, grab that rag if someone hasn't already. Use it to wipe off glasses when people are done drinking from them. or make a molotov
   • There's a zippo, grab that as well. Even if you don't smoke, you can light cigs for people, and look badass doing it.
3. You got your shit, now to make the bar look nice.
   • You got a stack of books and shit on your table by the booze-o-mat, clear that off. Those books are junk anyway.
     • Toss the russian revolver on that table too. This will display it, while keeping it secure.
   • Put out some glasses, on the other counter, by the dispensers. Make them neat and orderly.
   • NEVER make large amounts of drinks and toss them out there. This isn't the damned kitchen. Make drinks to order, and clean up when the person is done.
   • If someone wants to reorganize, let them
     • If you're good at construction and interior design, you could do it too
4. So, you look good, feel good. Time for how to actually do things
   • So, someone walks into the bar, what do you do?
     1. Greet them by last name unless you personally know them, and ask if they would like something to drink.
     2. Assuming they ordered, place a glass in front of the guy, as confirmation that they ordered, and you heard.
     3. You toss the shaker in the relevant dispenser, and mix that shit. Make sure you make more than 50u. Full glasses make for less asses.
     4. Pour out the drink, then put the shaker back in the dispenser to empty it.
     5. When they leave, wipe off the glass, and put it back.
   • Make conversation with people! You're not a damned automa!
     • Ask questions, or tell stories!
       • Don't make the questions or stories too personal, you'll just creep people out.
   • Lights went out! What now?
     1. Don't panic.
     2. Make for the office, and grab two packs of eternal candles.
     3. Light them in the packaging, and throw them around the room. Make sure you don't hit people.
     4. If the power is out as well, grab the keg, or the booze cabinet as well.
5. How to deal with shitters
   • I have a system I use for shitters, the three strike system.
     • First strike, I will warn the person to not do it again.
     • Second strike, I will shoot them twice in the chest, and drag them out of the bar. After this, alert sec
       • Your bandolier, and by extension, your shotgun, are loaded with 5cm beanbag slugs. Two of these to the chest will knock anyone onto their ass.
     • Third strike, and if sec is not responding, I will get violent. If they are attacking you go straight to strike three.
       • Bottle to the head will knock the guy on their ass and soak them with nice flammable alcohol.
       • If they continue being a shit after being bottled, you have that zippo still, right? Time to burn, bitches.
   • If someone is climbing over the bar, you can click on the table to knock them off

Most importantly: Make this your bible

Feel free to ask me any questions!

Edited August 8, 2018 by Chronarch
Female fashion tip

[BottomQuark]

@Miraviel *summoning to update List of Guides*

Oh my, I didn't expect to see that :P.

14 minutes ago, Chronarch said:

[...]Full glasses make for less asses.

Bottle to the head will knock the guy on their ass and soak them with nice flammable alcohol
If they continue being a shit after being bottled, you have that zippo still, right? Time to burn, bitches.

:eyes:

[Chronarch]

2 minutes ago, BottomQuark said:

[...]Full glasses make for less asses

Was trying to make a good slogan
Pretty much, fill the glass to 50u, and people will be happier :P

[BottomQuark]

Just now, Chronarch said:

Was trying to make a good slogan
Pretty much, fill the glass to 50u, and people will be happier :P

Yeah, I know.

That was actually preety funny in my opinion :P.

((And yeah, when I ask for Kira Special people often give me 30u. Cuz it's 1 part orange juice, 1 part soda water and 1 part lime juice if I remember correctly.))

PS: I'd also link guide to drinks and food at the end.

[Chronarch]

Just now, BottomQuark said:

((And yeah, when I ask for Kira Special people often give me 30u. Cuz it's 1 part orange juice, 1 part soda water and 1 part lime juice if I remember correctly.))

Same thing with Trinary

1 minute ago, BottomQuark said:

PS: I'd also link guide to drinks and food at the end.

I'll do this now!

[Miraviel]

Added. Great guide, thank you for writing it!

Scyar Nila! disappears

[Chronarch]

Added a note on dealing with shitters

[LuKat]

This is an excellent guide. Thanks for writing it up. As a Bartender player one is perfectly capable of standing out above your average fellow that tosses six Whiskey Colas and six Black Russians onto the customers' counter and calls it good. Having your own personal standards of professionalism is key, and bonus points if you can make your bar look more attractive as well. I highly suggest wrenching up the default table-and-chair layout and recreating them with the planks in a more pleasing manner.

You can throw drinks onto the customers' counter and it shouldn't spill... sometimes it looks cool if you have a lot of requests going on at once and it gets really busy. Or if you're not pouring them a glass, but just giving them a space beer. Whether it fits depends on the drink.

[Benjaminfallout]

"Hey ah Beer sir? What would you suggest for a female bartender to wear? The same thing or something more girly?"

 

[Chronarch]

I think the standard uniform with a waistcoat would work quite well, although definitely keep the laceups and hat.

If you want to go for a more fancy custom outfit, I recommend checking out the Victorian attire.

[Alliostra]

A nice little trick as bartender is mixing your own antihol using salt from the shakers, ash from burned paper and ethanol from the booze dispenser.

[Calecute]

On 10/3/2018 at 6:20 PM, Alliostra said:

A nice little trick as bartender is mixing your own antihol using salt from the shakers, ash from burned paper and ethanol from the booze dispenser.

I usually begin the shift by going to chem for plasma and radium, and get some ethanol too, then I ask a doc or the paramedic for a toxins kit. I mix my antihol with it, and use the charcoal syringe to get blood from PunPun to mix drinks.


Great guide, some pretty nice tips. 

Edited October 5, 2018 by Calecute
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