Records prior to the construction of the Atmospherics Rail

[Piccione]

???: Well, a Station with Minerals is like a Mule with a Spinning Wheel: No one knows how he got it and dang if he knows how to use it!

CROWD: Laughs

CHIEF ENGINEER: Hehehe, mule.

ATMOS GUY: The name's Guy, Atmos Guy, and i came before you good people tonight with an idea, probably the greatest.... Nah, it's not for you. It's more of a uh, Syndicate Idea.

CAPTAIN:Now, Wait just a minute. We're twice as smart as the Syndicate. Just tell us your idea and we'll vote for it.

ATMOS GUY: Alright, i'll tell you what i'll do. I'll show you my idea. I present to you the Cyberiad Atmos Rail!

CROWD: Gasps

ATMOS GUY: I've sold Atmos Rails to /tg/station, /vg/station and FTLstation, and by gubmint it put them on the map!

ATMOS GUY: Well, sir, there's nothing on earth like a genuine, bonafide, pressurized, six pod Atmos Rail! What'd i say?

CHAPLAIN:Atmos Rail!

ATMOS GUY:What's it called?

HoP AND QM, IN UNISON:Atmos Rail.

ATMOS GUY:That's right, Atmos Rail!

CROWD, CHANTING: Atmos Rail, Atmos Rail, Atmos Rail!

LIBRARIAN: I hear those things are awfully loud...

ATMOS GUY: It glides as softly as a cloud!

JANITOR: Issss there a chance the track could bend?

ATMOS GUY: Not on your life, my lizard friend!

ASSISTANT: What about us brain dead slobs?

ATMOS GUY: You'll be given cushy jobs!

MAGISTRATE: Where you sent here by the Devil?

ATMOS GUY:No, Good Sir, i'm on the level!

HOS:The ring came off my pudding can!

ATMOS GUY: Take my Fireaxe, my Good Man!

ATMOS GUY:I swear it's the Cyberiad's only choice, so throw up your hands and raise your voice!

CROWD:ATMOS RAIL!

ATMOS GUY:What's it called?

CROWD:ATMOS RAIL!

ATMOS GUY:Once again...

CROWD:ATMOS RAIL!

IAA:But the Main Hallway is all cracked and broken...

SHAFT MINER:Sorry IAA, the mob has spoken!

CROWD:ATMOS RAIL, ATMOS RAIL, ATMOOOOOOOS RAAAAAAAIL!

CHIEF ENGINEER: ATM- D'oh!