Various unprecedentedly stupid ideas

[TheClosetMailman]

Admin tools

1. Ability to give one chosen person a free ticket to the Clown planet, reserved for those "special" cases.
2. A literal banhammer that crushes its target into a fleshy mass, a loud bwoink can be across station when it hits.
3. One big red button to automatically gib anyone carrying a blue toolbox
4. One big blue button to turn everyone into various Ians.
5. One big green button to automagically inject everyone with 5 units of toilet water.

Random species ideas

1. 1/100 chance for whenever a vox rustles their quills, it'll cause them to catch on fire, due to friction.
2. Humans can suffer from toolboxitis, a disease that causes toolboxes to grow from their hands.
3. Unathi move faster the hotter they are, the fastest being when on fire, consequently they move slower if cold and are completely stunned if exposed to freezing water/air.
4. Vulpkanin constantly shed small parts of their fur, perfect for driving the janitor mad and making the surgery ward an even bigger biohazard than before.
5. You can use a plasma man as a substitute for a singularity core, in case you manage to lose the old one.

Random traitor ideas

1. Lightling, the exact opposite of a shadowling, is added, have fun running around in total darkness to stay safe, thralls are identified by glowing eyes, so have fun kidan boys.
2. In case a nuke ops flukes, a HONK Syndicate Squad is automatically called in.
3. Abductors and Nuke ops can now happen at the same time, watch people metagame the fuck out the moment you abduct the HOP.
4. Entrepreneuring tator engineers can now create themselves a Tesla car, literally a small Tesla orb with wheels and a steering wheel.
5. The IAA can now be a traitor.... Of boredom, objectives include pressing the HOS into suicide over the paperwork and making sure the clown is straightjacketed and getting mental help.

 

None of these are to be taken seriously, thus the title.