Dick Sleuth's chronicles part 1. [The Bee Burglar]

[Boxy]

[Warning some aspects of the story may be exaggerated or completely untrue for the favor of the narrative, but it is all based on a true story]

 

It was cold rainy night,  space thunder outside and comets enveloping the sky,

The station was on night lighting and its good residents were sleeping at the dorms,

yet the night life of the station was out and about, vibrant as the lavalands under it.

I was at my office overworked, tired writing a report wile the sounds of jazz were nurturing my ears,

seemed like i would have a quite night and maybe even sleep a little, CC would never know.

As i was about to close my eyes i hear a loud beep and thump, it was the chief the head of security

with furious expression on her eyes and the fire of a thousand suns burning inside her.

I quickly jump back to an alert position hoping to leave no indication that i was about to sleep on the job again,

the chief was screaming in anger but all she said were a blur to me,  i know that face all to well

the face of a woman personally insulted and humiliated on her job,  this was not just a crime for her it was challenge

of authority,  i said "Toots, calm down a bit and tell me what happened in a slow and understandable way."

A glint of annoyance sparked in her eye but i knew she would dismiss my stereotypical noir film mannerisms for the

sake for our friendship and work together. She collected her breath and spoke, "Detective, there has been a brake in

in my office both doors opened via a cryptographic sequencer and even worse my locker is open and my favorite gun missing."

I then knew why it was so personal to her,  Chief really loved her gun  she felt like a detective with out a revolver,  Naked, Afraid and Humiliated.  Her anger was only justified  and for the sake of the station and my friendship with chief i knew i had to solve that case.

I quickly retrieved my hands from my desk and light my smoking pipe and with a cold tone of voice i said " I am on it chief".

I started  walking slowly and calmly through the brig a place all so familiar but now struck with an air of villainy until i reached chiefs office.

Upon inspecting the doors i knew my assumption were right, a cryptographic sequencer could have been the only thing that did this.

I raised my camera and snapped a picture of my crime scene  in its unaltered state and then started processing.

Something was not right a soo familiar smell in a soo uncanny way, a smell of nectar filled the air and the fibers of a bee suit and black gloves were all over my crime scene. If my time as a detective has taught me anything that is never trust a man in a bee costume, especially if traces of it are found in a high security area.

I had no prints but i had layed my hands to the sticky nectar that is truth and then i screamed in my radio  " If you see a person in a bee suit arrest them."

Feeling that most of my work is done and that is that i returned to my office to write a full report on our bee burglar and listened to jazz music with one question on my mind for when we bring them in.  Do you like jazz? because that is the only music you will ever hear on your cell. A slight smirk springing across my face wile writing the report and coming up with that line.

Suddenly my train of thought is interrupted by the voice of none other then the pod pilot my childhood friend screaming on the radio,  "Sleuth the bee man,  The b-e-e man has g-o-t me  help he is ho-ldi-ng voxy captives at botany,  voxy can't t-ake many mo-re st-in-gs"

Now that bee burglar had done it he made a detective angry enough to drop their duties ignore their job description + training and go bee the firm steel hand of the law.  This was no longer a suspect it was a friend kidnaper. I promptly retrieved my trusty revolver from my drawer and a 38 speed loader and started to rush my way to botany to do what had to be done by me, To put end to villainy.  To reclaim chiefs honor and most importantly to recover my dear avian friend.

I stride to botany confidently my hand in my jacket ready to pull out a revolver  the station time about to hit 12, Jazz music no longer playing in my mind but instead a western tune.   Either me or the Bee burglar would meet our maker that day that was for sure. I was about to meet my destiny and honor my family name and title as a problem sleuth.

I arrive to botany to see the bee burglar surrounded by all kinds of bees and my friend cuffed to a chair broken, defeated and swollen by all the bee stings. I shouted to the Bee burglar

" ALRIGHT BE FUCKER, THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO SURRENDER WITH ALL YOUR BEES OR THIS WILL BEE YOUR LAST DAY OF HONEY" 

The bee burglar shouted back 

" Hahaha  Sleuth we meet again you don't remember me but i do, last time you came in here and killed my bees for an investigation on a crime i did not even commit. But not again, this is my hive and your friend here is my honey me bees will sting them until their mutated and turned into a sentient nest.  Then ill send them out to get more honey  until every resident of the station is a sentient be hive and i become the queen bee to rule over all."

"Besides  there is nothing you can do to stop me detective  the ai is asleep and you have no access Muhahaha."

I diplomatically quipped back seeing the full weight my previous mistakes and the effect of my no nonsense hard boiled actions.

"Bee burglar, it does not have to bee like this.  I am sorry about my aggression against your bees, there is still a chance for your after this redemption return my friend and the gun  and ill burn your files and no one will find out and CC will never know of this, please bee burglar return to using your bees for good.

Bee burglar responded

" Its too late for me detective, i choose my path and your chose yours.   Now prepare to bee unhalted."

But before  they finished their sentence i had already hacked the door.  and i was  forcing my way inside.

" No, you can't just brake in   BEES AFTER HIM"

I promptly pulled out my revolver and started shooting bees left and right wile dogging hordes and trying to move closer revolver shooting and reloading at light speeds.  

" You FOOL you can't go through the horde no matter how many you kill there will be more."

I kept fighting the onslaught of bees with every last breath i had getting stung left and right with all kinds of devilish re-agents slowly pushing my way closer to the bee burglar who would stand there still yet i was soo close almost a floor tile away.

More and more bees kept piling on to me i felt exhausted moving felt really hard i just wanted to lay down.

" See you were no match for me bees detective"

I fell on my knees and started crawling yet i had to push on.

"Just let it happen peacefully detective there is no more need for you"

I fall down and the world fades black . . . . .

My memories start to play back on my head, 

My recent  dates, the Security Christmas party, the day i investigated botany.  My birthday party.

My birthday party, all my friends were there,  a donut cake, a new revolver, booze, chief present that i always kept with me.

chiefs present ah yeah the candy corn infused with meth, arsnep and ephinerphine.

My sense return for a second i quickly reach for my bag and pull out my last piece of candy corn and eat it desperately fast,  the bee nerd has not seen me yet and is standing right in front of me with his back turned to me and wearing the swarm of bees as a cape.

The candy corn hits the spot, i feel my self re-gaining power  i feel energy surging throughout all my body. The sensation of a million angels lifting me up and giving me their power.

I get up and draw my retractable baton, and scream in the top of my lungs.

"-SEPULCHRITUDE-"  wait no it was not that i said something else that i can't recall.

As i dryly smack the bee burglar in the face with my retractable baton throwing him down and  then promptly cuffing him.  i use all my power to drag him and my friend out into the hall where  our whole department is starting to arrive quickly.

My energy feels lost again,

I fall down and the world fades to black once more.

I wake up on a medical bed with my whole department looking at me.

" I really need a fucking raise for this." i stutter.

Then they all start speaking:

"You bloody bastard you are ok."

"Sleuth you saved the whole station."

"You got our guy champ."

"Sleuth you get the rest of the shift off"

"After you get out of bed i am getting the whole department drinks".

The chief stops all of them and says with a calm expression and smile on her face:

"Sleuth for your brave act today and being an all around handsome bastard i have decided to grant you the security medal of honor, wear it with pride."

I say: "Thanks cheif, but what about the pod pilot  are they going to be all right?

Chief:" Besides some major bruises and not looking blue for a month due to the sting discoloration they will recover fully according to dock".

Me: "Oh thank god i thought they were a goner for sure."

Chief: "I was not done talking about your prize sleuth,  wile central command wouldn't allow me to give you a raise they told me you get on wish for this shift can be anything as long as it does not harm crew or cause problems."

Me: "Chief, i am constantly overworked i really need some sle-"

The chief interrupts: :"That's easily done sleuth you can stay in medical and rest as long as you need"

Me: "Not in here chief but in my office,  and you get to write the incident report."

Chief: "That is a weird request sleuth but i can't say no to you today."

The chief gently rolls my retractable bed all the way to my office and i get a much needed work time nap the thing i truly needed the most.

I begin to relax to the sound of noir jazz.

My eyes begin  to close.

The world fades to black.