Deanthelis Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 This proposal is intended to be one of satirical or comedic nature and is not to be taken seriously. There are a number of glaring issues and strong advantages with the current Singularity engine. I have devised an alternative to it that may make things more manageable, and possibly more fun, for the engineering department, and if nothing else, will give them something to do when things aren't broken to hell. Singularity: Disadvantages -Kills everyone when it gets loose -Stops making power when it's plasma tanks are consumed -Consumes a large amount of power when starting up containment, and as such cannot be started if power runs out due to negligence -Is released for some reason all the time and kills everyone -Cannot be repaired or maintained by synthetic beings like borgs or ipcs -Is radioactive and harms those nearby -Kills everyone Singularity: Advantages -Kills everyone in a fun, gibby manner -Produces huge amounts of power if done properly -When emitters are locked, it can be generally ignored and doesn't need refueling for about four hours -Kills everyone -Is hard for nuke ops to sabotage because the EMPs cause their implants to blow up -Is a functioning deity -Works great as a garbage disposal -Kills everyone Having roughly enumerated the pros and cons of the singularity engine, I will launch into my proposal. In a sentence: Monkeys on treadmills. The engineers would have a large room with a sink, monkey cubes, and six to eight treadmills. The room would also contain vending machines; namely: -AutoDrobe -HatLord -Soda machine -Mr. Chang -Limited booze o mat -Book vendor that dispenses readable books -Toy vendor that dispenses various toys -Vendor for bruise packs and similar It would also contain two riding crops and a number of beds equal to the number of treadmills. The monkeys are to be placed on the treadmills, and the treadmills turned on. The faster the monkey runs, the more power it makes. The rest is to keep the monkeys moving. As the monkeys run, they slowly become thirsty, hungry, bored, tired, and unhappy. They also have a specific level of intelligence, which starts at 0 and ranges from -10 to 10. Soda slightly helps the tiredness and resolves thirst. Mr. Chang food makes monkeys thirsty, but reduces hunger. Booze makes monkeys happier the dumber they are, and resolves thirst. However, it makes them one point dumber each time they drink. If they get below -10, they become mentally incapable of breathing and suffocate to death. Reading a book to a monkey makes them one point smarter, but only if different books are read, as consecutively reading the same one will not work. It also makes the monkey more bored. In addition, a monkey that reaches 11 intelligence becomes controlled by a ghost and seeks to free itself and its companions to revolt against its oppressors and take over the station! Toys reduce boredom, but make the monkeys tired and slower. They also reduce unhappiness. They must be changed every fifteen minutes or the cause extra boredom. Fancy hats and clothes make the monkey happier, but must be changed every fifteen minutes or they cease working and cause unhappiness instead. The riding crops force the monkey to run faster, for a short time. It hurts the monkey and causes a lot of unhappiness. Bruise packs can fix the injuries caused by riding crops, or from being flung off the treadmill when exhausted. Making a monkey run until it is exhausted will send it flying off the treadmill and cause injury and unhappiness. Allowing a monkey to become too bored will make it run slower and slower until it stops. Hunger and thirst slow down the monkey, and can kill it if it is whipped back up to speed. Allowing the monkey to sleep for five minutes eliminates fatigue. Each treadmill has a scanner to indicate the monkeys monkey's conditions. They beep and announce warnings when dangerously close to a negative extreme. Treadmills can be emagged to allow players to be forced onto them; they produce much more power than monkeys, and become hungry and take stamina damage over time. If they fall asleep while on the treadmill, the treadmill begins to grind them down, starting with their feet and slowly grinding and ripping apart their bodies until they reach the torso, where the groin is flung off and they die, their upper body stuck to the treadmill's handrails by the bindings. This also creates a huge gigantic mess, and could possibly serve as an alternative execution method or an antagonist objective. The riding crop, when used on a player, should deal pain damage after the first hit. The first hit temporarily makes them run a little faster. This concludes my proposal. Please consider it carefully and provide adequate, constructive feedback. Link to comment https://www.paradisestation.org/forum/topic/3616-alternative-engine-proposal/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Dobbins Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 Basically, you want one engineer to have to stay in engineering to play bargin-basement sims. That's like the supermatter, where one person had to babysit it all damn round. Just having one person who sits around in engineering and changes a monkey's hat or whatever isn't fun. I do want a riding crop item though. Link to comment https://www.paradisestation.org/forum/topic/3616-alternative-engine-proposal/#findComment-23257 Share on other sites More sharing options...
SK4.0e004 Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 (edited) Singularity: Disadvantages -Kills everyone when it gets loose -IT ONLY PURGES THE STATION OF HERETICAL SIN AND XENO SCUM FOR THE GLORY OF MANKIND! -Stops making power when it's plasma tanks are consumed -It's the plasma's fault for not being able to withstand the glorious presence of the Lord. -Consumes a large amount of power when starting up containment, and as such cannot be started if power runs out due to negligence -Containment fields are for cowards anyways. -Is released for some reason all the time and kills everyone -IT CLEANSES THE STATION FROM FILTH! PRAISE HIS NAME! -Cannot be repaired or maintained by synthetic beings like borgs or ipcs - THE GREAT LORD WILL NOT TOLERATE MALFUNCTIONING MEN OF IRON NEAR HIS MAGNIFICENCY. -Is radioactive and harms those nearby-IT ONLY HARMS THOSE UNWORTHY! -Kills everyone -MIGHTY IS HE! ALL HAIL!! Singularity: Advantages -Kills everyone in a fun, gibby manner -CLEANSE THE XENO MENACE!! -Produces huge amounts of power if done properly -He gifts part of his Infinite Pure Power to Mankind! Thank the Lord! -When emitters are locked, it can be generally ignored and doesn't need refueling for about four hours -The benevolent Lord doesn't need no babystting like other certain pieces of rubble that dare to call itself engines. -Kills everyone -ALL HAIL!! -Is hard for nuke ops to sabotage because the EMPs cause their implants to blow up -PROTECTOR OF HUMANITY! -Is a functioning deity - -Works great as a garbage disposal -HE SHALL CLEANSE THE STATION FROM FILTH!! -Kills everyone -ALL HAIL LORD SINGULOOOOOTH!!!1! *splatch* Edited February 25, 2015 by Guest Link to comment https://www.paradisestation.org/forum/topic/3616-alternative-engine-proposal/#findComment-23261 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qinetix Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 Link to comment https://www.paradisestation.org/forum/topic/3616-alternative-engine-proposal/#findComment-23266 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Basilisk132mm Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 I find it amusing that now Qinetix posts Sister of Battle instead of felinid mutants. Link to comment https://www.paradisestation.org/forum/topic/3616-alternative-engine-proposal/#findComment-23269 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earthdivine Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 I like the idea, can we also get other races to join in as well? Tarjans could go faster and IPC's wouldnt ever get tired, they would be perfect for this. Link to comment https://www.paradisestation.org/forum/topic/3616-alternative-engine-proposal/#findComment-23272 Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlameNeko Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 I don't really like the idea. It sound... Wierd. How about a more interesting source of fuel? Did everyone forgot about Nuclear energy? How about Cold Synthesis? Let's have something more sweet in terms of futuristic awesomeness. Link to comment https://www.paradisestation.org/forum/topic/3616-alternative-engine-proposal/#findComment-23284 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Qinetix Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 I don't really like the idea. It sound... Wierd. How about a more interesting source of fuel? Did everyone forgot about Nuclear energy? How about Cold Synthesis? Let's have something more sweet in terms of futuristic awesomeness. We used to have the RUST generator , which worked on uranium rods... however how should I put this, the idea was kinda lost in time, and probably ,if it's still in cargo, it won't work, it's just old code that no one cared about. WE COULD however recreate the RUST generators. Link to comment https://www.paradisestation.org/forum/topic/3616-alternative-engine-proposal/#findComment-23286 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Dobbins Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 [sNIP[/img]I don't really like the idea. It sound... Wierd. How about a more interesting source of fuel? Did everyone forgot about Nuclear energy? How about Cold Synthesis? Let's have something more sweet in terms of futuristic awesomeness. We used to have the RUST generator , which worked on uranium rods... however how should I put this, the idea was kinda lost in time, and probably ,if it's still in cargo, it won't work, it's just old code that no one cared about. WE COULD however recreate the RUST generators. I'm pretty sure we do have code for binary thermoelectric generators (what goon has), and I think I've tried to build one at some point. I'd honestly like to see RUST revived, or some kind of nuclear reactor. Nuclear reactors are cool, even fusion ones like RUST, which I'm pretty sure is a tokamak reactor Link to comment https://www.paradisestation.org/forum/topic/3616-alternative-engine-proposal/#findComment-23290 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earthdivine Posted February 25, 2015 Posted February 25, 2015 [sNIP[/img]I don't really like the idea. It sound... Wierd. How about a more interesting source of fuel? Did everyone forgot about Nuclear energy? How about Cold Synthesis? Let's have something more sweet in terms of futuristic awesomeness. We used to have the RUST generator , which worked on uranium rods... however how should I put this, the idea was kinda lost in time, and probably ,if it's still in cargo, it won't work, it's just old code that no one cared about. WE COULD however recreate the RUST generators. I'm pretty sure we do have code for binary thermoelectric generators (what goon has), and I think I've tried to build one at some point. I'd honestly like to see RUST revived, or some kind of nuclear reactor. Nuclear reactors are cool, even fusion ones like RUST, which I'm pretty sure is a tokamak reactor Kluys or False managed to get the Thermo Generator running one round at full efficentcy, and Fox and Cian are the only ones who fully understand RUST from what I remember back when we had it in Cargo. I'm planning something with Thermo Generator though, so hopefully look forward to that. As soon as I stop losing my map progress.... Link to comment https://www.paradisestation.org/forum/topic/3616-alternative-engine-proposal/#findComment-23304 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deanthelis Posted February 26, 2015 Author Posted February 26, 2015 RUST and a worthwhile TEG are impossible. The RUST engine produces gas temperatures of over 3 million K, which melts even rwalls. We could use the magic walls that toxins has, but making an engine impossible to sabotage is kinda silly. TEG has the simple flaw of requiring a temperature differential to make power and, like the RUST, one can only power the station with it at really unsafe temperatures. I remember Fox making the Incinerator into a TEG once and melting half of the station or so, it was really bad. Also the RUST tokamak never worked because you had to adminbus in several of the pieces (most notably the computer to control it) and it ran on fuel rods made from alloys only Mining could produce (compressed uranium and smelted iron or something like that). You want fancy weird power made from funky mining material, go make a SUPER or MRS PACMAN, they run on smelted hydrogen and something else, each. Also please reread the first sentence of the post come on now this was a joke stop it Link to comment https://www.paradisestation.org/forum/topic/3616-alternative-engine-proposal/#findComment-23362 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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