Representative's Journal: Luca Trovato

[Nakhi]

 

Might make this a regular thing, but for now this is a 2:30am post because I had nothing better to do, This is now a totally regularish thing complete with bad humor.

 

Log #2401

ID Signature: Luca Aureliana Trovato

Station Date: Fucked if I even know. And fuck relativistic timing with this FTL bullshit.

 

Right... serious now...

 

Nothing like rehashing old memories right? Someone decided to just ask why I was called 'Saturn'. Well, long story short, for NT inevitably reading these damned logs and probably being unaware, it's because one of the carriers I was stationed on was destroyed over Saturn with almost all hands lost. Nosy bastards always asking about things like that. God forbid I actually show some respect to those lost in my own way while still being semi-subtle.

 

Anyway, what a shift. What a fucking shift. Vox. I used to tolerate them, but god damn are Vox some annoying shits. I mean really. They come to the station, ask for things, then cry victim when they get repulsed. In this case, they boarded, attempted kidnapping, demanded things, and then the Captain authorizes use of force against the Vox to handle them. I have no issues with this either. Amusingly there's a Vox Warden, because of course there is. Anyway, as shit escalates, Captain tells the Research Director to make bombs for deployment against the Vox.

 

Now this is where it gets good.

 

So I go into Science because I am basically volunteered for "bombardier" duty. I watch the catbeast RD make a few bombs and then throw them at me. Five of them. No... four. That's right. Still, fucking four bombs. Like, what the hell am I going to do with this many bombs? I feel unsafe just walking with the damned things. So I get in my pod, streak out of the Escape pod bay, and set my course for the Vox ship. Now, I don't have a bomb bay, because budget cuts or some bullshit, so I am going to have to do this by hand.

 

Then the carp. The fucking carp migration through station airspace. Because shit can't get ANY worse at this point right?

 

Remember that part about having to set the bombs by hand? Yeah. These aren't some sort of "stick it to the side of the ship and press a button" bombs either. These are bulky ass tanks connected by a pipe. Who the hell designs these things? Kindergartners? No, they're more creative. Anyway, so I pull my pod alongside, carp swarm me. Because, of course. Shit is going to go wrong because I am planting bombs. Thank fuck I got a laser earlier in the shift. It probably mostly saved my life, but I think it alerted the Vox.

 

So I drop the first bomb against the hull then zip around to the back of the ship. Drop the second bomb. Apparently I missed the part where the engines were powering up, because the Vox ship disappeared from sight into an FTL jump. Because everything was going wrong today. Everything. I did a sweep of the station perimeter and turned up no Vox in the area, reported their departure, and then popped a beer in the pod pilot seat. That was a joke. I don't drink pisswater.

 

And that's the story of the shift where I failed to blow something up. I am disappointed in myself for that. Apparently I am also now known as "Podcat" by some Vox.

 

The moral of the story is: When the fuck will NT give my pod missiles? That'd solve about half the damned problems I had there. And people on the station are idiots, but I think NT knows that at least.

 

Edited February 3, 2016 by Guest

[IcyV]

 

As the Vox that dubbed thee Pod-cat and gave the order to leave - well played with the bomb attempt. I have no idea what the other Vox were doing, but one of them and I decided to just do the objectives ourselves. We went out, did a bit of mining with the crew, came back, and left. Not to mention we had 3 crew members wanting to come with us at the end of it, including our target.

 

We started hearing the other Vox saying they were getting attacked and then all the station comms saying to get us and stuff. We very quickly got out of there through our holes and never looked back. We tried waiting for the others and calling in for them, but a carp smashed a window on the Skipjack and I saw the bomb and you with my thermals.

 

You can't press a return to base button fast enough.

 

[Nakhi]

 

As the Vox that dubbed thee Pod-cat and gave the order to leave - well played with the bomb attempt. I have no idea what the other Vox were doing, but one of them and I decided to just do the objectives ourselves. We went out, did a bit of mining with the crew, came back, and left. Not to mention we had 3 crew members wanting to come with us at the end of it, including our target.

 

We started hearing the other Vox saying they were getting attacked and then all the station comms saying to get us and stuff. We very quickly got out of there through our holes and never looked back. We tried waiting for the others and calling in for them, but a carp smashed a window on the Skipjack and I saw the bomb and you with my thermals.

 

You can't press a return to base button fast enough.

 

I wasn't even fully behind the bombing attempt honestly. Just doing it because people were saying the vox were attacking and what not. And bombs were being made. And when would I be able to use bombs against Vox again? (Hint, it was the next fucking round.) So yeah, I did this, got caught, and, yeah, I can imagine hammering away at the return to base button going "nopenopenope".

 

[IcyV]

 

 

Totally accurate representation of trying to get the ship to leave after seeing the bombs.

 

[Nakhi]

Log #2407

ID Signature: Luca Aureliana Trovato

Station Date: Stardate Don't-Care

 

Another day, another series of misfits of Security. Except somehow this is worse. Worse in a way that drags the entire department down. Alright so I was a late arrival. Central held me up trying to tell me that the pod pilot position was full and that I could head home for the day. I am not usually one to argue with a day off, but I said "fuck it, let's get to work". After arguing with them for about 20 minutes, they finally realized that "hey, the pilot position isn't filled". Typical paper pushers. Get on the shuttle, fly to the Cyberiad. Nothing new there.

 

Walking across the station I can hear the sounds of fighting, screaming, honking of course. I ignore it all like I normally do. I am a pod pilot, not regular security. Let the other mentally deficient fools with a wild taser finger handle it. I'm the specialist. Get to Security, there's one guy naked and wearing only his armor as he gets geared up. I won't ask when nudity became standard in order to get into security gear, but I digress. It's just your standard security officer. So I grab my typical duffelbag, expecting to get tased by the idiot security, and then head back into my pod bay.

 

Nothing really worth noting, but I get into space right as carp show up. Thankfully I always have my pod lasers in. I have not once needed to use the tasers in the entire time I've flown while working with NT. This is a fact which is both sad and slightly amusing. So naturally I integrate my station sweep into carp hunting, taking up most of two high-cap power cells to do it. Kill carp, get back to station. People are bitching about something going on on the asteroid. When isn't something going on there? If it's not incompetant miners it's stupid scientists digging up shit that should never be dug up.

 

Anyway, because it's the asteroid I grab night vision goggles from telecomms and then zip over to the asteroid. At this point a small Sec raiding team is there and I fly around. The only thing out of the ordinary? A pair of vox crew members doing some mining together. I report that, raiding teams falls back, and I silently question the intelligence of these people. I mean, I deal with some shit, but these people are idiots. And this was all prompted by Security not being allowed onto the outpost initially by the miners. On green alert. Privacy laws am I right?

 

Anyway, that's resolved. I head back to station and plop myself down in my increasingly worn office chair. After all, if there's nothing for me to do, may as well relax right? Apparently half wrong. What followed was a horrific show of absolute incompetence that even I have never seen before in all my days working for NanoTrasen. Yes, it was that fucking horrible. Here, let me start this at the very beginning.

 

First, a series of bombs went off across the station. As far as I am aware, they weren't too destructive but it still caused some light chaos. Security didn't give a shit. Security was busy with other things. What other things? Fucked if I know. The Head of Security spent 20 minutes staring silently at an airlock after walking in my pod bay, with taser drawn, and then promptly walking out again. Why? Fucked if I know. He barely said a word all day.

 

Well then some scientist spaces a guy. Oh sweet lord let's go Shitcurity. And not even the "I will beat you to a pulp and then claim self defense" shitcurity. I mean the "I don't know what my job is so I will do nothing" shitcurity. Alright, so this scientist spaces a guy. The bartender, specifically. Anyway, the bartender shouts this out over comms somehow before all the air escaped from his lungs. Or maybe it already did, in which case I have no idea how the fuck that that works. Whatever. So guy gets spaced and has a GPS in his pocket. Pod pilot to the rescue. I grab his body as the Sec channel devolves into stupidity.

 

Get the body to the station, get back to pod bay, and strap in, because I know this is about to be a retarded ride. And it did not disappoint. Alright, so I have a GPS right? Perk of being a pod pilot, being able to ask for that. Well I am tracking this scientist as he moves around. I report him in Telescience first. AI is telling Security he's in telescience. What does security do? Nothing. He moves to Medbay maintenance and stays there for about 10 minutes. What does Security do? Nothing. All the while the AI is growing increasingly agitated. And honestly? I was growing increasingly annoyed.

 

So the GPS moves to toxins mixing, AI says the guy transforms. Great, a changeling. Nothing else can get worse right? Well, compared to a changeling, apparently Security figures out a way to be worse. How? Well they're Security. That's how. Finally security kicks into gear and one guy goes to arrest this changeling. Somehow they do it successfully. I think that's a miracle in of itself. So they bring the changeling back to the brig after what is basically a miracle of not getting themselves killed or otherwise shown incompetent. I think for once the AI and I both are thinking "well, I think we're past our problems now".

 

Spoiler Alert: We're not.

 

The first question that gets asked when the person is brought in? After the AI reported the scientist killing the bartender? After the AI reported them transforming? "What are their charges?" I think both the AI and I said nothing in a stunned disbelief. And this continued until the officer was screaming asking for charges, and then said they were going to release the person. That was the point we spoke up to say what happened. Approximately five minutes later, I get a "the changeling has escaped" over the security radio. Well fuck. Leave it to Security right?

 

Honestly that's kind of where this just goes further than further downhill and it's barely worth even giving any consideration to. In conclusion, Security is utterly incompetent (save for me), the command staff are idiots, the crew is full of fools. No, really, fools. One of them picked up a taser and started shooting me, then tried beating me with it. Through a hardsuit. Yeah, that bad. So I got up and lasered them to death. In this case, total self defense. Lucky me. Anyway, whatever, shit ended and the AI and I rode off into the sunset on my spacepod back to Central where I got a hero's welcome.

 

Not really. I got a pay deduction for fuel costs on the pod even though it has an electropulse engine. Fuck me right?

 

Moral of the story: Jesus christ I should apply for Head of Security one of these days. This was horrific. If nothing else I did manage to recover the bartender's body and save the paramedic after they died from carp in space.

[TullyBBurnalot]

 

Jonah Bright here.

 

Don't be Head of Security.

 

Trust me.

 

It's not worth it.

 

[Nakhi]

 

Jonah Bright here.

 

Don't be Head of Security.

 

Trust me.

 

It's not worth it.

 

Believe me, I know this well. I had one character I usually played as HoS and I just... stopped. It got really bad.

 

[SigholtStarsong]

 

Jonah Bright here.

 

Don't be Head of Security.

 

Trust me.

 

It's not worth it.

 

Believe me, I know this well. I had one character I usually played as HoS and I just... stopped. It got really bad.

 

I play HoS pretty frequently... It's like being an admin with no real power and everyone wants to actually kill you half the time.

 

[Sparkyninja]

I used to play HoS back in Mid 2014, until I finally caught on how much of a festering cancer Security is. Now I spend my shifts being the manchild kindergarden teacher known only as the Captain; atleast now I can feign ignorance into each rounds shitcurity...

[Nakhi]

Log #2411

ID Signature: Luca Aureliana Trovato

Station Date: Who cares?

 

Another day, another story. Okay, so, I arrived on station after I got rather drunk the night before and showed up an hour and a half late for work. First time I've done that in a while, but that's not the point of this log. No, the point is what happened immediately after I arrived. Immediately after within about 10 minutes, but whatever. Get in, get geared up, get what I need, switch out my pod tasers for lasers because, as usual, I never use the damned tasers unless it's a rare situation in which a capture is preferable to killing. Like with Vox or... well, even Vox rarely get that treatment.

 

Alright, now I have everything I need, jump in the pod, and just start with a patrol. I get as far as the old bar before people shout "XENOS IN MAINTENANCE". I swear, xenomorphs have an even shorter stealth capability than nuclear operatives. Alright, so, turn around, run back to my pod bay, ask the AI to let me into the armory for a laser. They do, surprisingly. So I get in the damned pod again and now the report is updated to "Old Bar". Good enough for me. I fly over there and observe. Looks like they had gotten a Vox at least. But no one cares about Vox.

 

I manage to get a couple shots on the queen as it runs around, but I think that only serves to piss it off a bit more. Worth it either way. It fled into the wide room at the old bar, which means I had scared it, which means that I am doing my job welll or something. Either way, making xenos run in terror is an enjoyable experience. So I had to run back to the pod bay and recharge my laser. I also need to consider bringing a recharger with me at all times, because that was kind of ridiculous. Anyway. Shoot out the windows, run back to recharge to be safe. I go into the old bar, look around. Take a few more shots, get chased by a Sentinel. Get hit in the chest with neurotoxin. Then the sentinel runs again. Typical xenomorphs.

 

But now I have a grudge.

 

I switch to giving no fucks about the queen and now give full fucks about killing that sentinel. As this point, the hole in the old bar still isn't filled in by the queen, so I still have my entry point. I go into the hive, fire a few shots, and run out. I make sure to tuck my rifle away in case I get neurotoxined again. Since I am writing this, I obviously didn't. Sentinel is chasing me. It's falling right into my trap, and it's doing exactly what I wanted it to do. Jetpack is enabled, and I fly out to my pod with the sentinel chasing me... then flailing in space as it falls out. I think entered my pod in record time too. So I hit the sentinel with my pod and cancel out its momentum, leaving it stuck in space. So what do I do now that it's fully vulnerable? Turn the fuck around, get some range, and open up with the lasers.

 

Scratch one Sentinel.

 

Oh, by the way, there was a security team this shift. They just did exactly fuck all. The security officers never got weapons. The warden tried to distribute but no one got them so he went solo with at least one weapon (and got facehugged in the process). The Acting Captain/CE got facehugged. I watched this happen. He didn't even have his hardsuit on. Seriously. And then it took an act of god to make the NT Rep and Blueshield actually stop fucking each other or drinking, one of the two, and actually do things. I think the NT Rep died. Either way good riddance in that case. The Blueshield... did things. Just... didn't do many things. They ended up getting thrown into space, alive mind you.

 

Shuttle arrives, shuttle departs, I stick around because there's still work to be done. So I recover the weapons, recharge, and then decide that I will keep taking the fight to them. By that I mean I flee the station as quickly as possible before Central sets off the nuke. The infestation wasn't large, but I can say I got three confirmed xeno kills there. That's good enough for me.

 

Moral of the story: The pod pilot is the only security that ever actually does anything and actually responds to emergencies. Who would have thought, right?

[Nakhi]

Log #2413

ID Signature: Luca Aureliana Trovato

Station Date: In the past

 

Let me preface this with: I hate virologists.

 

There, now you know what this is about, because I really hate virologists. Not all virologists mind you, because I am one as well, but the ones that do absolutely nothing other than spread viruses because they can. Those one can go rot in virology hell. And for the record, virology hell is where you're infected with a virus that gives you uncontrollable bowels, inability to stop screaming, gives you Pierrot's Throat, and ultimately start vomiting up spiders because fuck you for being a terrible virologist.

 

Rant over? Good.

 

So I arrive on the station as usual. I do my usual jog of desperation from the shuttle to Security. Why desperation? Because one of these days I am going to arrive and get chased down by assholes with guns that aren't security. So I train every day I arrive for that run to Security in the hopes that maybe Security isn't totally shitty. That was a joke. Anyway, I run to Security and then grab my usual equipment. The moment I step into the pod bay, the comms blow up - not literally - about a virus. Well, awesome, I made it without infection and to my Security Hardsuit of Virus Protection +1. I throw that motherfucker on so fast and get the jetpack ready for my flight. Turn internals on.

 

AI informs me that an officer is down at Telecomms. Alright, fair enough. So I leave the station, arrive at telecomm after a fuckton of flying in circles and the space map I bought at the Flying J - because some names never die - somewhere between the NSS Cyberiad and NXS Klapaucius didn't help me. Don't know that second name? I expected as much. That's the official name of the telecomms satellite. That's right, I know more than pretty much everyone on the station. Fancy. That.

 

Getting off topic. Right.

 

Grab the IPC officer, throw his parts back on him, fly back to station in the hopes that someone will reactivate them. I forgot about the virus, for the record. Anyway, bring him aboard via the escape pod bay, remove the helmet and internals because I forgot about the virus. Walk to robotics, throw the IPC onto the desk. Then it happens. I say, "This IPC needs new arms and legs". I already put their head back on at least.

 

What does the roboticist ask me? "What's an IPC?" I think I stared at him in disbelief for about ten seconds. Why? Because fuck people like this. Anyway, I simplify it to the braindead fool as "machine people". I think he understood that... for a moment. He then asks, "Do you want me to borg him?" Jesus H. Christ. WHERE DOES NANOTRASEN FIND THESE PEOPLE. Eventually he finally understands that he only needs new arms and legs. I added if he doesn't come back online, to just throw them into cryo because I had shit I needed to do and I wasn't going to supervise this bullshit.

 

Here's where things get both annoying and interesting. The virologist shows up. He's twitching like a methhead going through withdrawal. Knowing most virologists, I also know that wouldn't be too far from the truth. He walks up to me and gives me a hug. Bare in mind, he's clearly infected. Because of course he is. I shoot him with the taser and then run away, expecting an infection. It never comes, thankfully. I run to my pod, jump in, and fly back to my normal hangar. Now we get to the part where I realize I deserve a medal.

 

Not really.

 

Security is dead or dying from this virus. Apparently it causes retardation. This means that Security is immune to its effects at that stage, but they are still dying. I walk into Security. It's deserted. The cries for help on the radio are slowly fading out as people are dying rapidly. I see the Head of Security. He is twitching and tells a prisoner to "eat my nuts". I couldn't help but laugh one he was gone. Either way, Security is falling apart. At one point. I am pretty sure I was the only physically active and capable "officer" on the station. And the AI still wouldn't let me into the armory to get a laser which I may or may not have shot myself with at this point. More like I wouldn't.

 

So cure gets announced at Medical, and there are two infected prisoners. Both are dying. I load them onto rollers beds and push them to Medical. Let me remind you, I am in a hardsuit this entire time. Why? Because I thought I would need it. I find out just moments after I push them into Medical that Vulpkanin aren't affected by the virus. That my friends is luck. I still didn't remove my hardsuit because fuck that. So I save one person (the other died on the way) and I figure "I am a great person". Then virology explodes.

 

What asshole blows up virology after a virus is killing everyone? Science, apparently. Or at least I assume Science did it, because they're all incompetent cunts over there.

 

Shuttle gets called, I flee to Security, hide. Another officer shows up. He had been cured and (mostly) fixed. So the two of us lament at the state of security and the incompetence of everyone. At this point Security has zero effective manpower and zero leadership available. Captain is still telling Security to secure escape. Nope. Me and the officer hang out at the Security pod, board, then get launched at the NT salvage ship. No one else is there. Oh, and the shuttle got bombed to top off the shift. Welcome to hell children.

 

Moral of the story: If I am going to spend all shift in a hardsuit made for humans, it should be much more comfortable. When will NT get hardsuits for the Vulpkanin?

[TullyBBurnalot]

You have not yet experienced Hell if you haven't seen a virus that turns you into a Tajaran clown then makes you explode.

[Nakhi]

Log #2414

ID Signature: Luca Aureliana Trovato

Station Date: Too Drunk to Care

 

You know it's going to be a bad shift when you arrive and people are screaming about borers as soon as you arrive. So I, in perfect pod pilot fashion, give no fucks. Anyone that says I need to care is just a fool. Or probably trying to follow regulations. Whatever. So I go in, get a nonexistant duffelbag, grumble to myself about no dufflebag, and then walk into the hangar bay, and immediately my jaw drops.

 

No, not because I got a solid gold pod that has a mounted pulse rifle... cannon thing.

 

No, my pod is missing. My. Pod. Is. Missing. Let that sink in.

 

Has it sunk in? Good.

 

So immediately I ask where the pod is. After prying about it, and someone basically saying "I had to take it because carp", I then say that they are incompetent as hell if they lose a pod to carp. Then I get the real answer. They got lost and the pdo was destroyed by remote turrets. I know where they mean. It doesn't lessen the "what the fuck" factor. THIS IS WHY YOU HAVE A POD PILOT YOU CUNTS. DON'T STEAL THE POD. Only thing I am giving them is the fact that it was an hour and a half into the shift and there wasn't a single pilot. I can cut some slack there.

 

Alright, so, moving on, I promptly pack up and go to the bar. Where else is a grounded pilot going to go? I didn't get to tell any war stories surprisingly, despite the jacket I was running around with in the bar. You'd think someone would ask me one day. Anyway, moving on.

 

So I am sitting in the bar, sipping on an Irish Cream. I feel something slimy crawl into my ear, and do nothing about it. Why? Because I never noticed it crawling up me to begin with - the sneaky fucker - and because I was giving no fucks. So, yes, it's a borer. And, no, I didn't care. It didn't go "assuming direct control" on me as soon as it climbed in, and I didn't scream about a borer in my head. It was mutually beneficial.

 

Anyway, shift ends, no further problems. Lesson of the day is that when I give no fucks, I really give no fucks.

[Nakhi]

Log #2415

ID Signature: Luca Aureliana Trovato

Station Date: End of Vacation +1

 

Oh boy. Where do I even start with this clusterfuck? Alright, so as usual I ended up late. I blame waking up late and what not, but whatever. Point is that I arrived late. I think it was roughly 12:15 station time when I finally came on the shuttle and made the Long Walk to Security. Nothing went wrong, nothing was going wrong. For but a few minutes I had this faint glimmer of hope that, maybe, just maybe, things would be alright. Not great, just alright. No one messing things up, no one ruining things. I get my gear, I put my baton in my belt, I set up my hardsuit. Making sure it fit - it doesn't, and NT still doesn't have Vulp suits - I hear over comms "Singularity is loose!". I hope beyond reality that maybe it's not released.

 

Yes, it is, but we expected that.

 

So I go down. As a pod pilot, when the singularity is released I take the risk of monitoring the singularity to watch where it's going and what is going to happen. Of course this is while the crew shuffles to the escape pods and the singularity eats engineering causing severe temporal anomalies that almost made me fly into it on several occasions. That's a regular day though I guess. Anyway, today is an odd day. Why is it odd? Simply because I didn't go unforgotten and unheard. No, the Chief Engineer called for help at the mechanic's bay.

 

The Singularity was bearing down on the mechanic's bay, moving quickly. I was faster. The CE sees me, sprints at the pod and jumps in. I fly away from the black hole like the hero that I am. Take that. Anyway, I fly the CE to the escape bay and go back to flying. I end up rescuing one or two more people regardless of their wanted state and shuttle them to Escape. I am Security, but I am not stupid. I'd rather people live than suffer for a crime that may be non-existent or even outright minor.

 

Oh, and then Central tries to fix the problem. That was absolutely fun. Ever seen a singularity after it ate a Supermatter? That shit is fucking frightening. It's like a giant star is just bouncing around your station, eating everything and burning everything. It's terrifying and dangerous as hell. And yet I flew by it constantly to keep watch. Thanks Central.

 

I did the math in my head once this was all said and done. The shift ended at about 12:38 due to the damage to the station. That means for fifteen minutes, the station was being eaten by the singularity and the crew was evacuating. Half the shift was just chaos. That's no different than normal, but at least in those cases the chaos tends to be varied instead of one single emergency.

 

Moral of the story:

- Engineering always fucks up

- Central Command never actually fixes anything

- Security can never keep its shit together (they wanted to issue guns because of the singularity)

- Medical is always second to be eaten

- The Pod Pilot is the hero the station needs and doesn't deserve

[dreadweaver]

 

>- Security can never keep its shit together (they wanted to issue guns because of the singularity)

 

For the record, I played the HoS that shift and weapons were issued for the antimovved AI, the rogue borgs and the traitors running rampant on the station, but I guess you were way too busy keeping your shit together to notice that.

 

[Nakhi]

 

I guess you were way too busy keeping your shit together to notice that.

 

Actually I forgot about all that since I wasn't directly involved, but it just makes the remark more amusing about Security not keeping its shit together, which flows well with the theme.

 

[Nakhi]

Log #2418

ID Signature: Luca Aureliana Trovato

Station Date: End of Vacation +4 or so

 

I fucked up my paperwork. Let's start with that. I filed a SH-1T-Sec instead of a P0-D-Pilot. I don't know if those are real paperworks, but fuck it, we'll run with it. Anyway, I ended up not flying into the station like a boss and wearing my bomber jacket. No, Central wouldn't even let me keep it. The fucks. So they sent me as a security officer. I think my uniform was a hand-me-down from some officer that got themselves killed on the job. I think there was a blood stain on it, but it blended in with the red of the uniform. Needless to say I changed into a newer and cleaner black corporate uniform.

 

Now I went and did the same thing I did as pilot when I got sick of flying in circles. No I didn't fuck off into space. I walked around pretending to patrol. You know, like a normal officer. Except I actually listen to comms. Well, it didn't take long before "I suspect there's shadowlings", which occurred in the first five minutes of the shift, turned into "Jesus Christ there's shadowlings oh god help me". So, what do I do, the brazen, fearless security officer that does no wrong? I go into maintenance with literally every light source I could find.

 

And I got a new uniform shortly after. Seriously, I rock the Vice Officer suit.

 

Anyway, I went into maintenance with all the lights. Not long after the shadowling thing gets confirmed I grab a bounced radio. The new radios are awesome by the way. You can set it to security channel, for instance, and leave that on. Which means I get to keep it on and turn the speaker off. It won't play Sec channel but it'll still play to all other headsets. Useful as fuck. Anyway, I toggle the mic on, shut the speaker off, and head in. First door I open, I see a guy in a suit run off as soon as he sees me.

 

Again, being the brazen and fearless officer I am, I call out my location and then head deeper into the maintenance. I see a janitor in a corner, ask him who the hell that was, he said nothing much other than "hazmat suit", which I did indeed see, and then said where they went. So the security borg arrives, we search maintenance, janitor goes off somewhere. Spoiler alert, they were a shadowling all along. Not even five minutes later, we come back and check that firefighting closet behind the janitor's "office" and there is the remains of a chrysalis and the Janitor's items. Well, this prompts red alert since we now have hatched shadowlings.

 

You know I fully expected to die a horrible death this shift right? That didn't happen, obviously.

 

Alright, we have shadowlings for sure. So I continue to search maintenance, looking for irregularities and people that shouldn't really be there. There were no people that shouldn't be there, surprisingly, though I did almost tase a doctor that ran at me then ran past me and freaked me the hell out. That inevitably did nothing. So during all this, there was a call by the AI that there was a shadowling in engineering. And there actually was. That surprised us. Well, me. I ran into maintenance expecting the shadowling to have fled into maintenance somehow. I was right. The Detective was caught, the shadowling was spotted, then it turned out our lights and disappeared. The Detective was in bad shape, but alive, and not enthralled. I take credit for saving his life. Kind of.

 

Shadowling gone, but we can definitely confirm that they are there. Not dead yet, but that's fine. Cue an hour and a half of low intensity hunting for them. During this time, we were searching up and down within reason while getting new equipment. I shocked the hell out of myself on a hunch which proved fruitless. Head of Security got us nightvision HUDS. Oh, and the Head of Security was good for once. That in of itself was a miracle. That is why we kept together and operated well. We had a pilot - of course - as well as the warden, and maybe three or four other officers plus myself. The HoS got himself and myself Gygaxes since we were the most active hunters. Once I got that Gygax, I never left it if I could help it.

 

And I found the nuclear authentication disk because the captain lost it, so I carried it in my dufflebag all shift.

 

Anyway, shit hits the fan as we approach our crew transfer. People report enthralled individuals at the barbershop. That was amusing. I am trying to remember, but I think the first shadowling, the engineering one, was killed at atmospherics or something. The remains were found. That's relevant for a couple reasons. Apparently there was a chrysalis at the barbershop along with the enthralled. I never actually looked. So shadowling busts out, and goes to Hydroponics... where a Vox beats it to death. Go go mutant midget chicken rangers I guess. So that's shadowling two down.

 

Now, searching again, I check arrivals maintenance thoroughly and I find another chrysalis site. That confirms a third one. And that third one? Apparently killed by light by some guy in cargo maintenance. Go figure. So Security itself killed a whole zero Shadowlings, and the crew got the rest. If nothing else I take solace in the fact that we kept cohesive, moved well, and called out positions and such. We were a good unit for once. So we transfer, go home, I pour myself a whiskey and then smash the glass into my face and shatter it because I was used to using the extra force to move the mech and forgot I didn't need it.

 

Moral of the Story: Maybe I should sign on as a security officer a bit more. It wasn't that bad of a day. Oh, and: Stomp stomp, that's the sound of the Sec.

[dreadweaver]

 

I guess you were way too busy keeping your shit together to notice that.

 

Actually I forgot about all that since I wasn't directly involved, but it just makes the remark more amusing about Security not keeping its shit together, which flows well with the theme.

It's actually a lot better this way.

 

[Nakhi]

Log #2427

ID Signature: Luca Aureliana Trovato

Station Date: End of Vacation +10 or so

 

What a day. Let's start with how things started sort of normally. Except for the fact that the Head of Security was a pink Tajaran. Don't tell me they dye their fur. It's fucking stupid whether they do or don't. Regardless, I arrive to a Security that is manned with but the Pink Panther, a warden, brig physician, and a detective. So I was number five. Moment I arrive the Pink Panther is telling me that they want me to do a quick sweep then do patrolling and officer duties. I sign up to fly a pod. Not arrest Greytide von Toolboxington Esquire for every little thing they do. And yet, I was never able to get into the pod.

 

Let me explain the IPC part first. So two IPCs seem to be flirting over Security, so I make a remark about that, along with "Do IPCs even have feelings?" So naturally one decides to try to organize a date with me. I won't even question how that'd work out, but I do know I said no. I have higher standards than 'Iron'. Actually, what ARE IPCs made of? It's probably not Iron. Maybe Steel. Maybe some sort of mythical material that makes them all almost universally a bunch of self-centered circlejerking assholes.

 

Back to the main story.

 

The moment I get the helmet attached to the suit, someone shouts out "WIZARD IN ARMORY". So I walk out in the suit. Someone calls out "Security hallway" or something like that. So I slowly shuffle my way down the hall, feeling like the world's shittiest tank. Then the Pink Panther's death alarm goes off. That gives me a location and I utter a silent prayer at the fact I won't have to deal with them anymore. So I walk five steps out of security, and the hall is blown up, gibs all over, and two IPC bodies, of course. I beat in the head of the wizard on the floor, hand off the IPCs to Medical, and I continue my hunt for the wizard. We realized there's more than one, and of course that meant that hell followed with them.

 

After some running around, I get to Cryogenics where there was talk of the CMO cloning the wizard (the silly, stupid man woman wolf fox dog thing). Anyway, fireballs. That's all that can desccribe that room. Fireballs and explosions. I got caught in two of them. My left arm was blown off somewhere, and it wasn't bleeding so I am thankful for that. I get up, see the wizard, beat his head in, flush him. Number Two is down. Robotics replaced my arm immediately and I get to work since #3 was located at arrivals.

 

Myself and another officer run down the hall and past the wizard. By the time we realize this, they missiled us, tased us, and dropped demons on us. I managed to flee, sort of, with the AI's help I think, but ultimately I wound up in Cargo with life threatening wounds, and then I blacked out. I don't know what happened after that, but I do know I woke up to my new cybernetic arm being removed and replaced with a higher end one the next day.

 

Moral of the Story: Fuck it. Kill all wizards on sight.

[KasparoVv]

Always a pleasure reading these. Great work!

[Nakhi]

Log #2428

ID Signature: Luca Aureliana Trovato

Station Date: Imperceptible

 

Another day, another shift where I never touch my pod. And another shift where the Pink Panther is the Head of Security, and manages to absolutely infuriate me. That's an accomplishment. Usually a Head of Security lets me do my own thing. Not this one. Oh no. I am treated like another officer, when I am supposed to be The Specialist. Not just a specialist like the Brig Physician, I am The Specialist. Flying the pods, killing carp, giving early warning, being a god damn hero, and getting all the men/women because they love a woman in uniform. Or something like that.

 

Alright so let's start at the beginning. I arrive on the station, grab my regular outfit - jeans, scarf, laceups, and my old Sol Central jacket on top - and beeline to my pod bay. There were no officers at this time. Having dealt with Pink Panther the shift before, I figured he'd say I need to be an officer. He didn't, shockingly. Not yet anyway. So while Security is arguing about ages since the Warden was 17 and the Captain was 19 and the latter had a "dark and mysterious past that no one can know about", I was doing circles around the station. All clear.

 

So of course the shit hits the fan hard. Shadowlings eventually get called out when one of the officers comes across the remnants of a chrysalis in the old bar. Joy. So I go from pod pilot to officer a few minutes later. I ask Science for a night vision HUD and delve into maintenance. Science was clear, but I found the shadowling between science and medical, and I chase them, eventually losing them again. Of course. But I confirmed that one was there. And... no one cared. Oh but Pink Panther demanded I get to the Brig immediately.

 

His orders when I get there? Protect the Chief Engineer and help install lights. Joy. This is like a video game where you are doing an escort mission for a retard. And it was basically that. Within a minute, we entered bar maintenance and I saw an atmos tech with a captain's ID. How? Because his little job icon showed a Captain's C on it. I report this, I even tased the guy, the officer talks me down. We move on a bit. Minutes later I just bring this up, only to be shut down. I say that the officer is acting suspicious as hell. I said that the Atmos Tech had a captain's level ID. Captain took note of that... for a couple minutes before it was forgotten again. Eventually it was all forgotten. CE runs off, I lose them, so I go back to watching for things.

 

I walk through Medical maintenance, I see someone change right in front of me, some cat. I tased them, but then the shadowling appeared. So I tased them too. But some black smoke bullshit came up and blocked by vision, so I ran. That same officer from before, with the atmos tech in tow, arrived and helped out. I still thought that was suspicious, especially since the Atmos Tech had a god damn axe, but I didn't say a word since I knew it'd be ignored. Comms go down from ionospheric anomalies, I was going to go into Medical Maintenance and sweep again, I reported the name of the shadowling I saw, and then mentioned my concerns regarding the state of Engineering. Ignored or just deflected. Of course.

 

The Magistrate ends up caught in the old bar maintenance and the fucking maze back there. Screams out about shadowlings. So I crawl through the tunnels, I see the Magistrate being enthralled and hit... him with the taser bolt. Well, half success. Until I missed the guy coming at me and shot the Magistrate again on the miss. What a taser magnet he is. Anyway, I begin to flee and see the shadowling. I get the energy gun out and immediately regret it. I don't know what he did, but he paralyzed me. I couldn't move, but I could watch in horror as this abomination picked up an energy gun and fired on me. Fucker put holes into my prized jacket. When I could move, he shot again, kept shooting, and I kept trying to resist as best I could between the pain and blurred vision.

 

Eventually I was cornered, and saved by the radio. When this happens, I keep a radio in my pocket, on microphone, with speaker off, set to Security. So I was screaming the location while the shadowling was attempting to enthrall me. I can tell you that that shit isn't pretty, and it is the closest I ever came to death it felt like. I was genuinely afraid. So the detective comes to the rescue along with another officer. For a short time, I thought I was safe. Then the officer shot me. Stunned, in pain, and now cuffed, I was dragged back. The detective and I were calling out names and the borg arrived to save... well, me at least. Sort of.

 

I was right all along.

 

So remember how I was lasered almost to death? Borg brings me to medbay, puts me next to a doctor and the Pink Panther. And then I get treated and checked for enthrallment and given a pat on the back for an almost disaster. Haha. Fuck no that never happened. Pink Panther sat there recharging his guns while I laid on the floor in pain and cuffed still. No one did anything, not even the doctor that was there. Not one fuck was given. The Pink Panther's only order was to tell the borg to take me to surgery. And guess what's there when I arrive? A fucking shadowling. The same one I had tased in the beginning of this whole clusterfuck. Borg pulls me out thankfully, and the Paramedic patches me up. He's the second hero of the day for me.

 

Still, I go back into surgery. They do the whole enthralling surgical check just to make sure that I am not. Of course I wasn't, but I can understand the caution. So now I am out, shuttle is on the way, shit has hit the fan. I want a drink. So what do I do? Walk to the Security pod, get in, and fly off into the sunset while cursing that fucking space station. Oh, and the AI requested the nuclear code while we were leaving. I'd have paid to watch that explosion happen.

 

And yes, the atmos tech was indeed a fucking shadowling after all was said and done.

 

Moral of the Story: Sometimes I am fucking right. Not always, but some fucking times. When I start making accusations and pointing out problems, people should probably fucking listen.

[pinatacolada]

 

And yes, the atmos tech was indeed a fucking shadowling after all was said and done.

 

whaaaat. He was real chill, and I even used his all access to our advantage. *shrug

 

Also, for the record, the only reason I only robusted that entire room was because somehow my HUD showed yours and the detective's ID, but no implant, which after screaming for help after shadowspooks, is a pretty big red flag :^)

 

by the way, I love this journals, make more pls

 

[NTSAM]

 

Let me explain the IPC part first. So two IPCs seem to be flirting over Security, so I make a remark about that, along with "Do IPCs even have feelings?"

 

Actually, what ARE IPCs made of? It's probably not Iron. Maybe Steel. Maybe some sort of mythical material that makes them all almost universally a bunch of self-centered circlejerking assholes.

ow my microbattery

 

[Earthdivine]

I am dearly sorry I have not been reading these. This is fantastic.

[Arenn]

 

Also, for the record, the only reason I only robusted that entire room was because somehow my HUD showed yours and the detective's ID, but no implant, which after screaming for help after shadowspooks, is a pretty big red flag :^)

 

For the record, here, This was probably during the absolute fiasco where sechuds were glitching like crazy, but I never heard of it giving false-negative or false-positive on implants, that part was always correct. May be related, sorry if it isn't. Carry on.