TullyBBurnalot Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 There I was, tinkering with the piping in Atmosia. The sun was shining through the windows, the carp hadn't arrived yet, and no other Atmos Tech had shown up to piss me off with their obviously inferior setup. I made the critical mistake of assuming it'd be a nice, quiet shift. I apologize in advance for my stupidity. I suppose I should explain what happen. As I was finishing up my setup, I get a PDA message from a doctor. After a couple of back-and-forths where he tries cryptically telling me he needs "something done", I finally get him to admit what it is he's after: the Station Blueprints. At this point, the one thought in my mind was: "This guy has to be shitting me, he's using the PDA to ask me to work for the Syndicate?!". So, obviously, the first thing I do is tell him I'll get on it, then turn around and PDA the Head of Security to tell them I have a traitor for them on a silver platter. Because James Baxter is a law-abiding citizen, gosh darnit! That was my second mistake. You'll see why. Head of Security shows up at Atmospherics soon after and asks to see my PDA, as I had told him that was where I had the evidence. He's accompanied by a Sec Borg, and seems to not like talking. I hand over my PDA, he nods, gives it back to me, then thanks me for my assistance before leaving. I smiled. I thought I'd done well. That was my third mistake. With the setup done, I was seeing if I couldn't get some supercooled plasma, because I was feeling bored. This is when I get a PDA message from the Head of Security, telling me I was going to receive a medal! I was so proud I almost smiled! So, I head out of Engineering, and who should I find waiting outside but the Head of Security. As I was preparing to tell him I'd like my medal extra shiny, he pulls his taser and shoots me wordlessly. Three seconds later, I'm being cuffed. Note: From this point onwards, until my eventual release, I am verbally abusing the Head of Security for being an absolute dingbat. Only not so nicely. The Head of Security refuses to tell me why I'm being arrested. He simply says "we have intel", then proceeds to strip me, search my belongings, put them back on me, then go into Atmospherics and open every locker in there to check for whatever his paranoia was flaring up about. In his defence, he did close the lockers afterwards. At this point, I can tell that the Head of Security turned on the stupid switch and took a traitor's words at face value. I proceed to tell him that he can quite happily search anywhere, because he won't find anything, on account of me being innocent. That's when pulls out a crowbar. And tears out every. Last. Floor tile. IN ATMOSPHERICS! Why? Because "the traitor had a stash, so you have one too". Hey look, my Shitcurity beeper is going off. Lemme just turn that off... So, what does this fantastic Head of Security do after he ransacks through Atmospherics and finds nothing, even after he pulls out every floor tile, checks every backpack, duffel bag and pocket, and even has his Sec Borg lackey tell him I'm likely innocent? Why, drag me to the Brig, of course! On no evidence at all! When I told Security over the radio, I had the Warden go "HoS told me we have intel" too. OOC Note: I'm really glad this guy got jobbaned. Really. Really. Glad. After I'm dragged to the brig, am I questioned? Am I fuck. I am immediately stripped to my underoos and unceremoniously dragged to the permabrig. When I loudly ask why, the Head of Security tells me that "the traitor said you were a traitor too" or something to that effect. He also took my headset. So, the second he lets go of me, I activate the Permabrig Intercom, and tell the station exactly what happened. That I was PDA'd a message from a traitor, handed said traitor to Security, then was unceremoniously and illegally brigged as well because the Head of Security took a traitor's word at face value and decided to permabrig someone with absolutely no evidence. Two minutes later, the Captain announces that I'm to be released. The Warden shows up and orders me to get on the ground, after which I happily tell him that I will either walk out a free man, or stay in Perma for murder. So after the Warden lets me pass, I walk into the interrogation room, ignore the Head of Security being chewed out by the Captain, grab all my stuff and walk out. The Captain intercepts me, quickly asks for my PDA, then sighs and apologizes that I had to go through that. By the time I reach Atmospherics again, the Head of Security had shot himself in the mouth "out of shame". Good. Fucking. Riddance. Link to comment https://www.paradisestation.org/forum/topic/4610-the-hos-to-beat-all-hoss/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fj45 Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 >tears out every floor tile in atmos >DOESN'T USE THE T-RAY IN ATMOS Link to comment https://www.paradisestation.org/forum/topic/4610-the-hos-to-beat-all-hoss/#findComment-32631 Share on other sites More sharing options...
HereticChurch Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 All of these Heads of Security I keep hearing about... they're making me feel physical pain. It's hurting me to hear how bad they are... Link to comment https://www.paradisestation.org/forum/topic/4610-the-hos-to-beat-all-hoss/#findComment-32632 Share on other sites More sharing options...
TullyBBurnalot Posted June 15, 2015 Author Posted June 15, 2015 I forgot to mention that, on the way to bringing me to the brig, he drops the medal box at the Head of Personnel's office and thanks him, so either Command was a massive comdom, or the HoS had just gone full Rambo. Link to comment https://www.paradisestation.org/forum/topic/4610-the-hos-to-beat-all-hoss/#findComment-32648 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spacemanspark Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 This is why Keicurity doesn't exist anymore. Link to comment https://www.paradisestation.org/forum/topic/4610-the-hos-to-beat-all-hoss/#findComment-32658 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plotron Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Nowadays I feel like the captain has to babysit Security, otherwise there are problems. Link to comment https://www.paradisestation.org/forum/topic/4610-the-hos-to-beat-all-hoss/#findComment-32660 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garoon Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 That's because there usually ARE problems when the Captain doesn't babysit security, or the HoS doesn't do it when he's *decent* Link to comment https://www.paradisestation.org/forum/topic/4610-the-hos-to-beat-all-hoss/#findComment-32683 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gizzmo Posted June 15, 2015 Posted June 15, 2015 Sounds like Carson Wilheim needs to make a return appearance as Head of Security. Link to comment https://www.paradisestation.org/forum/topic/4610-the-hos-to-beat-all-hoss/#findComment-32691 Share on other sites More sharing options...
IcyV Posted June 16, 2015 Posted June 16, 2015 Sounds like the completely standard HoS to me. Link to comment https://www.paradisestation.org/forum/topic/4610-the-hos-to-beat-all-hoss/#findComment-32726 Share on other sites More sharing options...
KasparoVv Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 I have to admit, he was thorough! Locking those lockers, man, that's courtesy! This post made me laugh hard, almost waking up my sleeping family. oops Link to comment https://www.paradisestation.org/forum/topic/4610-the-hos-to-beat-all-hoss/#findComment-32829 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rumiluntti Posted June 17, 2015 Posted June 17, 2015 I observed everything from the tile ripping part forwards. I almost turned into a physical manifestation of pure confusion when I cast my eyes on the HoS ripping floor tiles wordlessly while atmos tech is chanting curses at him with the rage of a supernova. Decided to keep an eye on the comedy gold that is presented to me and was not dissapointed. It actually took me 10 minutes to find out what happened and another 20 minutes to ask everyone again if I understood correctly, my tiny mind was bubbling with confusion. And yes, HoS believed a confirmed traitor so much that he decided to toss the naked atmos tech into the same permabrig cell as the traitor. To be honest I have made stupid shit almost like that when I have been drunk/tired as hell... Link to comment https://www.paradisestation.org/forum/topic/4610-the-hos-to-beat-all-hoss/#findComment-32844 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fj45 Posted June 18, 2015 Posted June 18, 2015 atmos tech is chanting curses at him with the rage of a supernova Keep up the good work Tully. Link to comment https://www.paradisestation.org/forum/topic/4610-the-hos-to-beat-all-hoss/#findComment-32903 Share on other sites More sharing options...
TullyBBurnalot Posted June 18, 2015 Author Posted June 18, 2015 atmos tech is chanting curses at him with the rage of a supernova Keep up the good work Tully. Learned from the best! Link to comment https://www.paradisestation.org/forum/topic/4610-the-hos-to-beat-all-hoss/#findComment-32911 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garoon Posted June 19, 2015 Posted June 19, 2015 atmos tech is chanting curses at him with the rage of a supernova Should I be glad that I have yet to have done this to the massive extent quoted? (Or at all?) Link to comment https://www.paradisestation.org/forum/topic/4610-the-hos-to-beat-all-hoss/#findComment-33016 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tinfoiltophat Posted July 13, 2015 Posted July 13, 2015 atmos tech is chanting curses at him with the rage of a supernova Keep up the good work Tully. Learned from the best! i bet i could do it better Link to comment https://www.paradisestation.org/forum/topic/4610-the-hos-to-beat-all-hoss/#findComment-35068 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Citinited Posted July 21, 2015 Posted July 21, 2015 I was the security borg. I distinctly remember going with the HoS to security on account of you being a potential traitor, then becoming steadily more and more confused with the whole situation after learning about what the "Intel" was. Well at least the security raids on atmospherics give rise to some amusing stories... Link to comment https://www.paradisestation.org/forum/topic/4610-the-hos-to-beat-all-hoss/#findComment-35716 Share on other sites More sharing options...
TullyBBurnalot Posted July 21, 2015 Author Posted July 21, 2015 I don't blame you. At all. You sounded sane. I blame the HoS. *eye twitch* Link to comment https://www.paradisestation.org/forum/topic/4610-the-hos-to-beat-all-hoss/#findComment-35723 Share on other sites More sharing options...
KasparoVv Posted July 22, 2015 Posted July 22, 2015 We must immortalize this man, a statue in his name of the highest quality and craftsmanship. Full duranium for max strength and durability with diamond and other ridiculously exotic minerals all over-- with a solid gold harmbaton in his right hand raised high, and an onyx crowbar in his left as a testament to his valiant venture into atmosia. Lest we forget. 14/6/2015 Link to comment https://www.paradisestation.org/forum/topic/4610-the-hos-to-beat-all-hoss/#findComment-35770 Share on other sites More sharing options...
TullyBBurnalot Posted July 22, 2015 Author Posted July 22, 2015 Someone get Phantasmic on this. Link to comment https://www.paradisestation.org/forum/topic/4610-the-hos-to-beat-all-hoss/#findComment-35773 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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