L.A.R.S. Guide to Being a Badass Service Borg

[Lars]

 

Hi there! This is a guide to teach you why this guy kicks ass:

 

 

and why the person that wrote on the wiki:

 

Service: A fairly useless module, but can be fun to have around.

 

is a slimehead.

 

So you picked up the Service module and see a bunch of apparent trash in your toolset, like a tray to toss food around or a freaking guitar to play Sailor Moon tunes. Most people regret their choice at this point and go request a module change. Those people are slimeheads too and deserve to be turned into brainburgers. A service borg can actually enhance most departments, and actually make some of them so OP it's not even funny. Arguably some of these things could be seen as kind of exploity, but hey, they won't eat half of the station, so you'll usually get away with it.

 

First, some common things you need to do:

 

 

• 1. Head to Robotics and get a battery upgrade. Brewing stuff consumes energy and you'll be doing that a lot.

   

  2. Switch your rapid dispenser to glass.

   

  3. Open your beer and use the dropper to empty it into a glass (i.e. to thank the roboticist for the upgrade). Notice that your shaker and beer won't refill when you extract with the dropper. This is really important. And yes, both shaker and beer synthesize infinitely the whatever you put in it. If you pour a mix they'll refill only with the top chemical though; this has some implications when trying to get the right stuff.

   

  4. Finally set both shaker and beer to transfer 25 units, so the first fill up can be done faster.

 

 

Now remember: to fill up your shaker and beer, take a sample with the dropper, empty the dropper in the shaker/beer, pour the shaker/beer in a glass (this triggers a refill), transfer the glass contents back to the shaker/beer. Eventually you'll have 100 units of whatever in your shaker and 50 units of whatever else in your beer. To replace the contents, empty them into glasses using only the dropper.

 

Servicing Medbay

 

Service borgs are actually more helpful than medical borgs if medbay is properly staffed.

 

Meating up the cloner and filling up the cryotubes

 

 

• 1. Fill your beer with cryoxadone from the cryopods.

   

  2. Top up the cryopod beakers. You can also fill the ones in the closet.

   

  3. Get a syringe from medbay's vendors, get someone to give you a blood sample in a glass. Fill your shaker with blood.

   

  4. Place a glass at the cloning room and pour 25 units of cryoxadone. Keep dropping 5 units of blood from the shaker to create synthmeat.

 

 

Healing the crew

 

 

• 1. Try to get the Chef to microwave and grind a donk pocket for you.

   

  2. Take the stuff with the dropper.

   

  3. Go to the barman, botanist, chemist or chemistry lab in science, empty the dropper in a glass and ask them to remove the nutriment.

   

  4. Take the resulting omnizine and fill your shaker. Fill your beer with something else (epinephrine, charcoal, mutadone, etc.)

   

  5. Fill a couple beakers of omnizine for the chemists, scientists and brig physician.

   

  6. Set your sensors to medical, check the crew monitor in medbay and start chasing people around to force feed them just one sip of your shaker. If they don't cooperate just let them be until they get help themselves or pass out.

 

 

Failing omnizine you can fill up your shaker with something like saline water, you only need to keep people alive until they make it to the cryotubes. If you don't want to be too proactive healing folks just leave around glasses with 30 units of triple citrus and 20 of saline water. If you want to be dangerously proactive and out of character, get the chemist to turn some omnizine into strange reagent and feed it to corpses, if the crew monitor says they don't have a lot of brute/burn damage.

 

Servicing Chemistry / Chemlab

 

This is simple -- just note the chemicals that are harder to come by and supply the chemists with plenty of them whenever you can get a sample. Top of the list is omnizine (see above), but also cryoxadone, charcoal (tends to run out during events), spaceallin, oculine (get the botanist to grind a carrot), uranium... you get the point.

 

Servicing the Chef and Bar

 

 

• 1. Get the chef a pile of synthmeat. Same method as for the cloner.

   

  2. Fill your shaker with soya/cow milk, pour 5 units of enzyme in a glass and make a pile of cheese and tofu. If there's no chef you can feed the station with them. Note that you can pick them up and place them on the counter with your tray.

   

  3. Fill your shaker with sugar, fill your beer with milk cream, use the candy machine to make caramels.

   

  4. Get the barman refills of blood, radium, iron, etc. for their drinks. You can synth any drinks for them, but usually the barman prefers to make them on request.

   

  5. Make a pile of glasses in the back counter for the barman. Saves them some time and they won't run out on long shifts.

   

  6. Give the barman and chef healing chemicals to spike their drinks/food. Or do it yourself with the dropper.

 

 

Servicing the Botanist

 

 

• 1. Synthesize robust harvest and pour it directly on the trays.

   

  2. Same with unstable mutagen (get a sample from the chemist). Ask the botanist first if they want to mutate their plants.

   

  3. You can spray water on the trays with your dropper without having to walk to them.

   

  4. If they get strange plants from cargo crates that don't do well with normal temp/pressure, get some ammonia or diethylamine and keep them alive.

 

 

Servicing Science

 

 

• 1. Same as Chemistry.

   

  2. Get the roboticist and researchers a lot of sulphuric acid, you can get a sample from Robotics. You can fill beakers with useful meds for the roboticist's medibots too, although they rarely use them.

   

  3. Refill the Xenobiologist with blood and plasma to save them time.

   

  4. Get antitox/spiked triple citrus/mutadone to the Genetic researchers, they are typically too busy getting Halk to notice they have 40 units of toxins.

 

 

Servicing Security

 

Well, you usually won't, but if your laws truly require it you can actually do some nasty damage.

 

 

• 1. You can smash things with your guitar, i.e. spiderlings.

   

  2. Flash people and push them away from each other/into a dead end to hold them until help arrives.

   

  3. If medbay is not on it, monitor the crew from medbay or the bridge and go help when someone starts taking damage.

   

  4. If you have been synthesizing chems spam your shaker and beer like there is no tomorrow while pushing them back. Unlike the other borgs, antags may not attack/run away from you immediately. Just mind your laws before you kill anyone.

   

  5. Drop bolts on airlocks, switch lights and turn off power in a room to prevent harm/stop machine operation. Technically you are able of using air controls and removing airlock safeties, but that's more likely to harm the crew than to accomplish anything.

   

  6. Do the rounds (i.e. carrying food and drinks) noting any robo-law-breaking activity. You can go everywhere and people often won't pay attention to a service borg.

   

  7. Your help may be required to feed folks industrial amounts of holy water.

   

  8. Supply sec with glasses of healing/anti-stun meds so they can be more robust, it's a lot less awkward than carrying pill bottles.

 

 

Servicing Virology

 

Fill buckets of blood, radium and, in case the shift has been long, some virus food. You can also help to keep infected patients alive and fed. Refill their spray with space cleaner.

 

Servicing Engineering / Atmospherics

 

Do actual service borg stuff and bring them tea and food, since they have to run everywhere all the time. Emergency healing glasses can help too.

 

Servicing the Barbery

 

 

• 1. Give yourself a medal if you actually get to do this.

   

  2. If the chemists get around to do this, supply them with Hairgrowium / Quantum hair dye or apply them yourself (on request)

   

  3. Eventually get to use your hairclipper to make people bald

 

 

There's much more you can do with your tools. Make glasses to fill an autolathe, spike drinks with mitocholide and antihol to prevent self-harm or cryostilane and oxygen to make them real chill, produce infinite plastic... and if you are lucky, help a malf AI by poisoning the crew if it doesn't order you to switch to sec module, like a slimehead.

 

[dreadweaver]

A pretty fucking cool guide.