The newspaper everybody liked for some reason

[Jguytriple5]

 

I've been making loads of newspapers in SS13 but this one actually got attention and people liked it so here is the full thing just copied. With getting attention i mean that Yuki was angry at me, some security officers were angry at me, the AI was angry at me, the HoS was angry at me, but the captain and HoP liked it.

 

Newscaster Unit #22

NSS Cyberiad Crime Watch: [created by: R.V.D. (Crime Reporter)]

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-Small war at electrical maint behind the chapel! Multiple officers are fighting against an unkown group of people in electrical maintenance. The group consists of atleast 5 people according to security reports and is highly dangerous. Word goes around that the group has the AI under their control. Who are these people? What is their agenda? We might never know.

 

 

[story by R.V.D. (Crime Reporter)]

-Battle won but war is not over! Security has won this battle in electrical maintenance but suffered heavy losses. Multiple parties have been retrieving bodies and barely alive people from this sight. Who is recovering bodies with a hidden agenda? Are there more groups like this on the station? We might never know. (viewer discretion advised for picture, horrible things are shown in it.)

 

 

[story by R.V.D. (Crime Reporter)]

-Bloodbath not limited to maintenance! Another horrific sight is to be seen at the bar. The story behind this photo is unclear because i was unable to locate any witnesses of the happenings here. The bloodbath in the bar means that crime doesn't only stick to the maintenance corridors, they are not afraid to go out into the public. In other news hallways are being syphoned and the ai is suspected to be subverted by the small army from electrical maintenance now to be seen as cultists. Is the AI subverted? Are criminals going to strike you next? We might never know.

 

 

[story by R.V.D. (Crime Reporter)]

-HoP Says AI Rogue! I just had a word with the HoP and he told me the following. "the AI may be rogue" -Viktor Grafstrom. The threat to this station by artificial intelligence is getting bigger by the second, and that's coming from an IPC. Is the AI rogue? Does command know things we don't know? We might never know.

 

 

[story by R.V.D. (Crime Reporter)]

-Security Is Using illegal execution formats! There was word going around the security comms that the cultists should be locked up in a cell with plasma. And security officals say "They are in a place of fire and with many heads"- Chris Bunker. The thing is that only Firing squad, the electric chair and lethal injections are lethal ways of execution. Is security not following space law? Have we been calling the wrong people criminals? we might never know

[story by R.V.D. (Crime Reporter)]

-AI Is Loyal or Lieing? THe AI reported faulty wiring in engineering and that the APC's weren't charging. In the photo below you can see they are perfectly fine. In other news the HoP responded to my last report saying "The cultists are mind controlled puppets who work for a dark god, i would say they are the bad guys not us." - Viktor Grafstrom. Is the AI lying? Is the HoP right? We might never know.

 

 

[story by R.V.D. (Crime Reporter)]

-Chaplain Believes in only Kidnapping! The RD was lead into the chaplain's office and then the chaplain flushed the RD down disposals. Is the chaplain crazy? Is he just terrible at killing people? We might never know.

 

 

[story by R.V.D. (Crime Reporter)]

-Medical Killing instead of healing! The CMO has been wanted for some time now and has been confirmed to be on the telecomms sattelite, security is currently going there to detain the CMO. Word is also finding it's way around that Yuki Frost, the head nurse, is a changeling. According to the Chaplain "Yuki froze me, she must be ling". Is there something fishy going on in medical? What is the CMO doing at tele-comms? We might never know.

 

 

[story by R.V.D. (Crime Reporter)]

-Lethal Action Required! The HoS is sending a team armed with lethal weapons to the science outpost because the CMO died there. I do not know why we would send people with lethal weapons there, or why we are suddenly with the CMO. But he's sending them anyway. Are lethals really required? What's going down at the science outpost? We might never know.

[story by R.V.D. (Crime Reporter)]

-HoS is throwing himself into battle! The HoS has decided to join the lethal team to the science outpost. When i asked what was going on i was pushed away. I still managed to snap a photo. What is going on out there? How did the CMO die? We might never know.

 

 

[story by R.V.D. (Crime Reporter)]

-Security Getting Arrested by AI! The security borg is repeatedly setting security officers to arrest and is trying to arrest them. The picture below is of two officers asking him what's going on. The AI responded that the borg is slaved to him. This means they have the same laws. does this mean they are both rogue? Are we to trust AI from now on? We might never know

 

 

[story by R.V.D. (Crime Reporter)]

-Medical Seems is an uncurable disease! According to an inside man in medical, there is something fishy going on in medical. The chaplain was in one room with the head nurse Yuki, whom he claimed was a ling. And then he suddenly was injured. He tried to run but multiple medical team members buckled him to a bed and rushed him to surgery. The New CMO has also been seen doing weird stuff according to my inside man. What does the chaplain know? What is going on in medical? We might never know.

[story by R.V.D. (Crime Reporter)]

-Prankster Mocking With security! Some prankster is setting random people to arrest. This could either be someone with HUDglasses or someone who used the not so secret wall door at the checkpoint and is looking at the files. Who is this prankster? Does he think arresting random people is funny? We migth never know.

[story by R.V.D. (Crime Reporter)]

-CMO Mistakes Toy For Xenomorph! The miner the CMO was performing surgery on had a xenomorp toy in his pocket and it jumped at the CMO during surgery. He got scared and informed command of a xenomorph attack. In other news there is a dead body at disposals because not a single cargo tech is working on sorting trash. How did that body get there? Who is the dead body? We might never know.

 

 

[story by R.V.D. (Crime Reporter)]

-Big crimes at an all time low! Barely any big crimes have been committed in the last 15 minutes. On the other hand petty crime like pickpocketing, minor assault and B&E are at an all time high for this shift. Is this exchange good? Is 25 picked pockets better than 1 murder? We might never know. This was NSS Cyberiad Crime Watch, RVD Out.

[story by R.V.D. (Crime Reporter)]

 

[Taedra]

I'm down for the continuation of these! I remember a week or two ago there was quite a few people making a lot of news channels, shame there snit a log of them, they are usually quite interesting.