How to ERP like a Pro

[BasedLime]

 

first off you need a name

second, make sure your sprite is female because we all known we're men here!

third, After anything anybody does for you make sure to thank them and tell them you will "pay them back"

act really desperate and sexual for no reason like a highschool freshman girl

fourthly, lock your victim in maintnace and weld the door shut

fifth unzip dem pants pull out your probe and take "Suck" Their DNA from them while the admins asks you why your trying to ERP hey I never said they wouldn't enjoy a ling round!

 

[Spacemanspark]

 

1. ERP.

2. Get ERP deathsquad called on you.

3. Fight off ERP deathsquad.

4. Get gibbed.

5. Cry in Dsay until bant.

 

[NTSAM]

Instructions unclear, thumbtack stuck in foot.

[Urbanliner]

Where should I put the probe to, before jamming it in?

[DeletedUser]

 

ERP DETECTED

CAPTAIN COMMISSARO TO THE RESCUE

 

 

[Spacemanspark]

 

ERP DETECTED

CAPTAIN COMMISSARO TO THE RESCUE

 

Captain Commissaro more like Captain Crunch.

 

that picture really did remind me of the cereal.

 

 

[Shadeykins]

 

You do it off server, silly.

 

That's how you ERP like a pro.

 

[dreadweaver]

1. be bulmo grifffs

[DeletedUser]

 

Shamelessly stolen from Regens' reddit shitpost

 

 

Obligatory BLAM

 

 

[Kharshai]

1. You don't.

[Mrs Dobbins]

 

Source: Kharshai has first hand experience.

(shitposting quota complete)

 

[Spacemanspark]

 

Source: Kharshai has first hand experience.

(shitposting quota complete)

You only have 2 posts left to 500 [spoiler2]at the time of this post[/spoiler2], you still have 2 more shitposts to go, nerd.

 

[Plotron]

[Shadeykins]

I'm half-tempted to actually make a serious reply to this telling people how to do it properly, and well.

[DeletedUser]

 

I'm half-tempted to actually make a serious reply to this telling people how to do it properly, and well.

 

1. Be human/skrell/vox/unathi, preferably tajara or vulpkanin.

2. Write a fucklong flavour text with lots of details, describing bulging muscles if male, or excessively curvy body if female, and how they have a glow in their eyes which makes people pee theirselves if they stare at them.

3. Dress in schoolgirl uniform if female, run around with your jumpsuit rolled down or plain naked if male.

4. Find another git like you, they will most likely be in the bar, the pool or the holodeck.

5. Invite them for a drink and try to seduce them with cheap pickup lines and spamming tildes "~" way over the healthy threshold (which is 0).

6. Take them to some seculed place, totally not making it look like you are a traitor who's about to shoot them.

7. Undress both of you and lie on each other, then spam "YOWL" and write 4-lines-long emotes about your cringy fetish, making every observing admin instantly jump to you because writing fucklong emotes raises ALL the red flags.

8. Wait for the ERP police to burst through the wall and blast you both to death, then C4 your bodies and BSA the room.

9. Get laughed at in Dsay by all the observing ghosts.

10. Get permanently banned with the reason "ERP, keep it in your pants."

11. Good luck in your unban appeal, if you ever want to do one because you will be laughed at again, even if its accepted.

 

 

Yes, that's the actual process, and it happens more often than you think. I only ONCE had this situation happen and it didnt end in a ban, because the NSFW line was never actually crossed... man that was frustrating.

 

I still spawned fire on them.

 

Edited September 28, 2015 by Guest

[Shadeykins]

HERESY.

[DeletedUser]

 

*Pats Shadeykins' head*

 

Good recruit, now shoot that cultist over there. Glad to see that my teachings dont fall in deaf ears.

 

[pinatacolada]

It'd be hilarious to call an ERT breaking in from space and spamming hailers for that.

[MarvinMartian34]

 

It'd be hilarious to call an ERT breaking in from space and spamming hailers for that.

I remember I was captain once and Bulma Briefs organized a feminist "free the nipple" rally outside of bridge. I declared code red and called an ERT. I asked CC to open the gamma armory, but it was denied. It was great.

 

[Tauka Usanake]

 

1. ERP.

2. Get ERP deathsquad called on you.

3. Fight off ERP deathsquad.

4. Get gibbed.

5. Cry in Dsay until bant.

Can we PLEASE have an ERP squad/deathsquad happen? I don't even care how it's done, I just want it to happen. Kind of like that meaty-ore thing that hit the station.

I remember I was captain once and Bulma Briefs organized a feminist "free the nipple" rally outside of bridge. I declared code red and called an ERT. I asked CC to open the gamma armory, but it was denied. It was great.

This would be another great reasoning. Calling ERT for stupid reasons and actually have them do it.

 

[DeletedUser]

 

Can we PLEASE have an ERP squad/deathsquad happen? I don't even care how it's done, I just want it to happen. Kind of like that meaty-ore thing that hit the station.

 

It usually goes like this:

1. Admin gets his/her chatbox suddenly assaulted with a 5-line-long emote, when admin reads it, it turns out to he heresy of cathegory 5. Alternatively, someone copy-pastes that emote on ahelp (instead of just saying "OMG GORGE MELLENS ERPS", so the admin doesn't miss any detail.)

2. Admin jumps to the origin of said emote, but not before usually copypasting it on asay and msay so everybody can admire the quality of RP.

3. When all the admins who aren't busy adminbusing or playing something else are in place, they examine the scene and make a judgement if purging intervention is needed.

4. If intervention is needed, usually some simple human mobs are spawned outside of the range of view of the targets, then they are given DeathSquad gear (if the admin is unoriginal), or Singuloth Knight gear (if the admin wants to do it WITH STYLE). The job on the IDs is modified to ERP-Squad, or similar.

5. When the preventive measures are ready, the admin can choose to wait for the most oportune moment or interviene inmediately.

6. The actual procedure can vary wildly, including and not limited to: delimbing, burning alive, crushing, hammering, gravity-gibbing, shooting with pulse weapons, suffocating, stomping, beating with the severed head of the partner, tramped by giant spiders, pressure-crushing, trampled by wild clowns, carps, holo-carps, door-crushing, hacked with an e-sword to pieces, turning into stone, turning into dust, turning into soap, being filled with baby seals by Slade, melting alive, being banished to the Absolute Void (0,0,0), various and entertaining forms of torture, drone crossbow, mopping, Singuloth and gibbing by rubber ducky.

7. Regardless of the method used, the final result is almost always public shaming followed by a ban, often permanent, depending of how disgusted the admin was while dealing with your heresy.

 

 

In case of spotting an ERP-Squad member, drop dead and pretend you didn't see anything. They will ignore you unless you are their target, and you know when you are their target.

 

In case of being the target, well, try to be funny because then the ban might be shorter.

 

[NTSAM]

 

6. The actual procedure can vary wildly, including and not limited to: delimbing, burning alive, crushing, hammering, gravity-gibbing, shooting with pulse weapons, suffocating, stomping, beating with the severed head of the partner, tramped by giant spiders, pressure-crushing, trampled by wild clowns, carps, holo-carps, door-crushing, hacked with an e-sword to pieces, turning into stone, turning into dust, turning into soap, being filled with baby seals by Slade, melting alive, being banished to the Absolute Void (0,0,0), various and entertaining forms of torture, drone crossbow, mopping, Singuloth and gibbing by rubber ducky.

 

 

You're forgetting an a few important methods!!

BSA'ing to Pieces

Meteor-penning to death

and Viscerator Bombing to death.

Or a classic

dying to death.

 

[Tauka Usanake]

 

It usually goes like this:

1. Admin gets his/her chatbox suddenly assaulted with a 5-line-long emote, when admin reads it, it turns out to he heresy of cathegory 5. Alternatively, someone copy-pastes that emote on ahelp (instead of just saying "OMG GORGE MELLENS ERPS", so the admin doesn't miss any detail.)

2. Admin jumps to the origin of said emote, but not before usually copypasting it on asay and msay so everybody can admire the quality of RP.

3. When all the admins who aren't busy adminbusing or playing something else are in place, they examine the scene and make a judgement if purging intervention is needed.

4. If intervention is needed, usually some simple human mobs are spawned outside of the range of view of the targets, then they are given DeathSquad gear (if the admin is unoriginal), or Singuloth Knight gear (if the admin wants to do it WITH STYLE). The job on the IDs is modified to ERP-Squad, or similar.

5. When the preventive measures are ready, the admin can choose to wait for the most oportune moment or interviene inmediately.

6. The actual procedure can vary wildly, including and not limited to: delimbing, burning alive, crushing, hammering, gravity-gibbing, shooting with pulse weapons, suffocating, stomping, beating with the severed head of the partner, tramped by giant spiders, pressure-crushing, trampled by wild clowns, carps, holo-carps, door-crushing, hacked with an e-sword to pieces, turning into stone, turning into dust, turning into soap, being filled with baby seals by Slade, melting alive, being banished to the Absolute Void (0,0,0), various and entertaining forms of torture, drone crossbow, mopping, Singuloth and gibbing by rubber ducky.

7. Regardless of the method used, the final result is almost always public shaming followed by a ban, often permanent, depending of how disgusted the admin was while dealing with your heresy.

... Where do I sign up?

Meteor-penning to death

Now I want to rapid fire pens into someones head. Lethal office supply weapons ftw

 

[The Ultimate Chimera]

kek

[Spacemanspark]

 

There's a really funny picture of people ERPing on SS13 and then an admin spawns in Jaws to kill them.

Not posting it here for obvious reasons, though.