How to ERP like a Pro

[MarvinMartian34]

 

There's a really funny picture of people ERPing on SS13 and then an admin spawns in Jaws to kill them.

Not posting it here for obvious reasons, though.

I really want to see this now. Please pm.

 

[Kluys]

 

Step 1, say anything that would prove you're attempting erp

Step 2, be evicerated by a red eyed dark sillouette in the shape of a pandabear.

Step 3, have the remaining parts of you pulled into a dark puddle on the floor that even tthough its dark seems to lead to a massivd fire filled hell.

Step 4, wait till rapture finally ends your miserable exsistance in panda ruled hell.

 

[Nomzy]

 

1. Trigger one of the following keywords

Suck, Megaseed Servitor, Plants, Delicious, Purr, I-Love-Slaaneshi

2. Await your personal ERP escorts

3. Get obliterated by your personal ERP escorts

4. Cry in your underwear

 

[Mrs Dobbins]

 

ya boy dobz's guide on How2ERP and not get b&!

1. Be an IPC (preferably a green one)

2. State that you have recieved a "Flight upgrade"

3. Emote: Dank Droid's trousers bulge and burst open, followed by a mechanical whirr as a long pole extends. A pair of blades extend from the pole and begin spinning.

4. ????

5. Profit.

 

Edited October 24, 2015 by Guest

[Spacemanspark]

 

ya boy dobz's guide on How2ERP and not get b&!

1. Be an IPC (preferably a green one)

2. State that you have recieved a "Flight upgrade"

3. Emote: Dank Droid's trousers bulge and burst open, followed by a mechanical whirr as a long pole extended. A pair of blades extend from the pole and begin spinning.

4. ????

5. Profit.

That's fucking horrifying.

 

[Tauka Usanake]

 

ya boy dobz's guide on How2ERP and not get b&!

1. Be an IPC (preferably a green one)

2. State that you have recieved a "Flight upgrade"

3. Emote: Dank Droid's trousers bulge and burst open, followed by a mechanical whirr as a long pole extends. A pair of blades extend from the pole and begin spinning.

4. ????

5. Profit.

This is why we can't have nice things

 

[MarvinMartian34]

[saywat_the_15th]

Now this is my guide...or well who am i kidding. I can't get any even in a videogame ;_;

[NTSAM]

 

NTSAM's Actual Guide to ERP.

 

1) Make a shitload of your forum text green and bold to look like a cute fucking kawaii animu~~~ desu meme thing even though you really just like how it looks jesus fuck yeas this text looks so fucking nicer than a plain white piece of shit arial font meme I mean ohhh god it's so easy on the eyes how could you not love it fuck you if you hate it I mean srsly

 

2) Make your avatar a glorious synthetic.

 

3) Be a major asshole.

 

4) Hope some chucklefuck admires you.

 

5) Set up some skype metafriending conversations.

 

6) Engage in cringy NSFW meta robot erotic roleplay with them IC

 

Congrats, at this point you have been banned by every admin ever. Please do not appeal this ban at http://nanotrasen.se/forum/index.php

 

[DeletedUser]

Disclaimer: even though the post above has been written by a mentor of the Paradise Server, it is NOT to be taken as valid advice. If you are still interested in the subject, please contact the nearest administrator, preferably one with a chainsword at hand and a skull helmet.

[R3DGL4R3]

 

Disclaimer: even though the post above has been written by a mentor of the Paradise Server, it is NOT to be taken as valid advice. If you are still interested in the subject, please contact the nearest administrator, preferably one with a chainsword at hand and a skull helmet.

 

*Raises a tentacle* I'm willing to take up this role and educate them on the glorious rise of sla-...I mean proper NON-heretical totally not drug abusing policy.

 

[DeletedUser]

 

Hmmmm... I'm not sure if you are qualified for the task... Do you at least have a crozius? and what's the deal with the horns?

 

ARE YOU A MUTANT!?

 

[Belario]

9000/10 would seek forbidden knowledge again.

[R3DGL4R3]

 

Hmmmm... I'm not sure if you are qualified for the task... Do you at least have a crozius? and what's the deal with the horns?

 

ARE YOU A MUTANT!?

 

 

I totally doooooooooo......*quickly wipes cocaine from her nose* and uh...what horns?Ya on something?I see no horns.

 

[Nomzy]

emotes are the first way to expert ERP citizen, be on your way

[Sans]

 

Do you all really wanna flex your epeens and horrify a large group?Here's the step by step list to do it and possibly avoid a golden bolt from the gods.

 

1. Pick an Erotic Fiction,my preference is "Woody got Wood."

2. Choose an anime:We're trying to be hilariously unique here.

3. Replace every character within said fan fiction with said animes cast.

4. For uber bonus points,write your own fan fiction involving Paradises admunstaff

5. Replace all lewd vernacular in your finished product with a single word.I like pony because why the fuck not?

6. Robust the captain,stealing his ID.

7. Read said fanfiction over the PA system.

8. If you just plain wanna win,make sure to mix a huge bottle of space lube up,lube every tile in the bridge besides the one infront of the console up before you begin reading.

9. Pray that the admins are laughing SO hard that they can't reach the ban button.

10. ???

11. Profit

 

[DeletedUser]

 

4. For uber bonus points,write your own fan fiction involving Paradises admunstaff

 

The last two tries ended both in system-wide Exterminatus. Twice.

 

 

[Garoon]

 

"As HereticChurch slipped up close to Adr-"

Muhahaha

 

[HereticChurch]

Why always me and Adr? Why not Neca x Tully, or Tiger x Fox? Those could be FAR more interesting.

[NTSAM]

Nobody ever lets mentors into their admin fanfic. I-I know were only the lowliest of the lowly slaves to the admin monarchy, b-but...

[Spacemanspark]

 

Do you really want to be in an admin x mentor fanfic.

[spoiler2]The answer is: Negative.[/spoiler2]

 

[Blackmage199]

 

Do you really want to be in an admin x mentor fanfic.

[spoiler2]The answer is: Negative.[/spoiler2]

You DO remember who you're talking to, right?

 

[NTSAM]

Do you really want to be in an admin x mentor fanfic.

[spoiler2]The answer is: Negative.[/spoiler2]

You DO remember who you're talking to, right?

[Nomzy]

 

PROLOGUE

 

Eyes groggy and stinging, the hazy-red light from the clock blinking 3:14AM.

 

Try as he might, sleep just wouldn't find Fox.

 

3:26. 3:34.

 

Relenting he finally tossed the sheets and got up, he may as well get an early start on his evil deeds for the day.

 

EPISODE 1 - A WARM SUMMER'S DAY - A NOMZALDUN STORY

 

The sun shone brightly overhead as Necladun (kawaii) skipped, arms swaying to and fro as she (everyone may be considered to be a 16yo japanese schoolgirl from this point on) made her way to another day of classes. Life was great, especially when you had such a great a person in yourself like Nomzy-Senpai! If only she would notice lil' Necaldun for once.. No less! Just a chance to see Nomzy was enough to brighten the day!

 

Anyways, Necaldun was all uguu kawaii and stuff and arrived at the front gate, seeing Nomzy they were like "NOMZY SENPAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIII :3" and Nomzy was like not even paying attention! Totally oblivious. Necaldun's heart broke in twain (but only for ten minutes) because it seemed like once again they would go unnoticed (like that one character from Yuru Yuri). Anyways, it looked like Nomzy was in a fierce conversation with one of the upperclassmen.. Necaldun-sama-kawaii-chan recognized them immediately, it was Regens-sama (who only went by Ojou-sama for reference this is important take notes please). Anyways they were in an argument about different flavours of Takoyaki and which one was superior, Regens-sama was all like "Pssh, I am your ojou-sama, I know best! Takoyaki is commoner food!"

 

But Nomzy wouldn't have NONE OF THAT SHIT OH NO. NOMZY WAS ALL LIKE "I AM NOMZY, MOTHERFUCK. NOMNOMNOM. NOM-ZY. WHAT DO YOU THINK I DO AS A LIVING? I NOM. I KNOW WHAT'S BEST." Clearly perturbed by the sudden outburst from Nomzy, Ojou-sama (regens) was defeated by Nomzy's superior Takoyaki argument abilities (in which she had 76 points which is really good in a dating sim by the way) and left. All the junior students basked in awe and glory and were like fangirling all over Nomzy because holy crap Nomzy just TOTALLY DEFEATED the PRINCESS DARLING OJOU-SAMA REGENS-SENPAI-KAWAII-CHAN-DESU (Necaldun was also star-struck).

 

Anyways the admiring didn't last long because all of the sudden a HAIL OF GUNFIRE RAINED DOWN ON THEM, THE BODIES OF JUNIOR STUDENTS FALLING DRAMATICALLY LEFT AND RIGHT. Fox yelled "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING TO MY SERVER, WHAT IS THIS SHIT. I DON'T EVEN." Everyone was running away and getting shot and screaming (because everyone knows Fox is robust as fuck) but not Nomzy, Nomzy was like "DESPAIR, DESPPAAAIAIIIIIRIRIRIRIRIAIRARASDUAHGWDAWGFYAUIFA" and pulled out a piece of parchment, writing an awful love poem (it was kind of ecchi so I won't tell you what it was) and reciting it. Fox's head immediately exploded.

 

Nomzy was hailed as the hero of the day (and maybe even the week) for saving the Uguu-Kawaii High from certain destruction, and since it was the cultural festival everyone built a massive idol to Nomzy. Necaldun however sat on the sidelines, all like "S-Senpai never notices me.." all by themselves. The day was ending, the bell rang and all the students began to head home tromping over the pile of bodies (that nobody cleaned up for some reason). Necaldun sighed, watching the crowds leave, all on their own UNTIL THEY HEARD A FAMILIAR VOICE.

 

"Want to walk home with me?"

 

IT WAS NOMZY, OMG. OMG OMG.

 

Necaldun's face shone brilliantly with tears as they went chibi-mode "S-Senpai!?"

 

anyways they walked home together and totally held hands and shit and from that point on they were the best yuri couple known to man (and also to toasters).

 

Fox was certainly doing barrel rolls in his grave.

 

EPISODE ONE, END.

 

 

 

 

 

 

okay guys i worked like really hard and spent literally thousands of seconds on this please tell me what you think if there is enuff interest i may make episode two "A Trial of Hearts - A New Challenger Appears!" which will be centered around my two original side characters Kluys and BoneWhite.

 

oh and for the love of god don't ban me Necaldun I love you.

 

Im glad the only fanfic here was a joke one.

Really glad.

 

[DeletedUser]

 

or Tiger x Fox?

 

You will be shanked just for mentioning. With a chainsaw. In the face. While on fire.