The Day A Quartermaster went vamp hunting

[SomanB]

 

So, the shift started out like normal. I'm quartermaster, My cargo techs and miners are all competent, things are running smooth as silk for a change. Another wonderful day in the realm of Cargonia. Heck, even Head of Personnel was keeping his nose in his office for a spell!

 

Midshift pizza gets ordered, because heaven forbid cargo stops for ten seconds to grab a bite and a beer, and we start getting funny reports of a vampire on comms. Now, I thought vampires were mythical creatures, but hey, we've got the wizards floating around, crazy bastards. Who knows what freakishness genetics is mixing up, much less the plague bearer....I mean virology.

 

Mythical or no, an old QM once told me, there's not much that can stand up to a pickaxe to the face, and boy does cargo got those. I bust 'em out, hand them to my techs, and say "aim for the eyes". This will be relevant later.

 

I figure we won't see any action. Boy was I wrong. Coming back from dropping off medical supplies, I hear over supply channel that one of MY techs has been attacked. Now, that's just not kosher in any form, and I get angry. Did I mention, the vampire was talking crap on the common channel? Well, he was. It's on like donkey kong.

 

I get back to cargo, and get to work on some improv weapons. It's not hard to turn a welder into a flamethrower, and NT gives me a nifty fire suit in case I have to do a rescue. On goes the firesuit, internals set, flamethrower ready....but for the fuel. Plasma is hard to drag out of the engineer's hands, and head sec isn't going to authorize a crazy QM to go on a vampire hunt.

 

So, I do the QM thing, and "acquire" some plasma. In getting that set up, here comes Mr. Vampire again, this time going after ME. Remember those pickaxes I mentioned? Well, he got clocked upside his nasty face by one of them. Last I heard, shattered his skull and blinded him. Pickaxes are good things.

 

Bout that time my plasma magically appears, so I hook up and go hunting. Evac shuttle gets called at the same time. I start taunting the vamp on comms again, trying to pull him into a fight to introduce him to my new friend.

 

Of course, the meddling AI ordered me to evac. What's that, AI? Static, comms must be going! Suit sensors failed too! Ohh well. Back to the hunt, dodging Beepsky and sec borgs.

 

I got down to the wire, and couldn't hold out any more. Rushed to join the evac and get off-station, WITH my cargo crew. So, Mr. Vampire, if you're reading this via Braille, I just want to let you know....rematch any time. Don't worry, Cargo doesn't discriminate against the blind OR brain damaged. Drop on by, we'll have a barbeque.

 

As an addendum, I've also acquired the nickname "Van Helsing" from fellow staff. It's apparently a character from a old earth television show. Pretty robust vampire hunter. I think I'll keep the name.

 

--Tao "VanHelsing" Fortis, Nanotrasen Certified Quartermaster, signing off.