Service Job SOP --- Complete!

[necaladun]

Barber: Running with scissors should be considered a workplace hazard.

[TullyBBurnalot]

 

As hilarious as it is, no.

 

Plis no.

 

[Keroman]

Barbers caught running with scissors should be bucklecuffed to a chair and forced to listen to the entirety of Weird Al's Running With Scissors album.

[FlattestGuitar]

 

Bartender:

 

The Bartender is permitted to ask for monetary payment in exchange for drinks

 

But... why?

The company policy should be the drinks are either free or not. Letting the bartender choose will just make this unnecessarily complicated.

 

Whiskey is a basic human right.

 

[NTSAM]

free synthanol or lynch cc

[Kyet]

 

The Bartender is permitted to use their shotgun on unruly bar patrons in order to throw them out if they are being disruptive. They are not, however, permitted to apply lethal, or near-lethal force;

 

Who decides whether a patron is "unruly" or not? Persumably, the bartender themselves?

What happens if the patron says they were not being "unruly", but the bartender says they were?

 

The Clown is permitted to, and freely exempt from any consequences of, slipping literally anyone, assuming it does not interfere with active Security duty, or in any way endangers other personnel (such as slipping a Paramedic who’s dragging a wounded person to Medbay);

 

The Clown must legitimately attempt to be funny and/or entertaining at least once every fifteen (15) minutes. A simple pun will suffice;

 

Does slipping people, or attempting to slip people, count as attempting to be funny?

If it does, then clowns who even attempt to slip people semi-regularly never need to do anything else to be funny. This is bad.

 

If it doesn't, then perhaps we might see clowns who actually entertain the crew, or at least attempt to, rather than just being an annoyance by slipping everyone as often as possible.

 

I wish there was a SOP guideline along the lines of "Clowns exist to keep the crew entertained, not simply to slip as many people as possible, or to be a general annoyance".

 

The Mime is not permitted to talk, under any circumstance whatsoever. A Mime who breaks the Vow of Silence is to be stripped of their rank post haste;

 

Does this include actions such as " traces the letters 'LET ME OUT' in the air"?

I ask because I saw a mime do this within the last few days. There was a long, drawn-out argument as to whether or not this counted as 'talking'.

The mime said it did not. Nobody else present agreed with this.

 

The Chaplain is not permitted to execute Bible Healing without consent, unless the person in question is in Critical Condition and there are no doctors;

 

Perhaps worth mentioning "because doing so causes brain damage".

 

The Chaplain may not draw the Null Rod or Holy Sword on any personnel. Using these items on any personnel is grounds to have these items confiscated;

 

What about cults, vampire, etc?

 

If the Janitor's work leaves any surface slippery, they are to place wet floor signs, either physical or holographic;

 

I wish there was a clause like: "Janitors are encouraged to use space cleaner wherever possible. Space cleaner does not create slippery surfaces and thus does not require wet floors signs, making it faster for the janitor and safer for the crew."

 

[TullyBBurnalot]

 

Who decides whether a patron is "unruly" or not? Persumably, the bartender themselves?

What happens if the patron says they were not being "unruly", but the bartender says they were?

 

My intention for "unruly" was very much "acting overtly hostile towards other bar patrons". Say, someone who continuously treats everyone around them like shit, and/or smacks them around.

 

I shall clarify this by adding:

 

(ie, overtly hostile)

 

To that particular Guideline.

 

Next up:

 

Does slipping people, or attempting to slip people, count as attempting to be funny?

If it does, then clowns who even attempt to slip people semi-regularly never need to do anything else to be funny. This is bad.

 

If it doesn't, then perhaps we might see clowns who actually entertain the crew, or at least attempt to, rather than just being an annoyance by slipping everyone as often as possible.

 

I wish there was a SOP guideline along the lines of "Clowns exist to keep the crew entertained, not simply to slip as many people as possible, or to be a general annoyance".

 

See, now this is a good point to make. While I'm reticent to tell people how to be funny, I can absolutely see where you're coming from.

 

No one likes slip spammers.

 

As such, the Guideline will have the following added to it:

 

Continuously slipping people for no reason does not constitute humour. The joke is supposed to be funny for everyone

 

Emphasis added.

 

Next up:

 

Does this include actions such as " traces the letters 'LET ME OUT' in the air"?

I ask because I saw a mime do this within the last few days. There was a long, drawn-out argument as to whether or not this counted as 'talking'.

The mime said it did not. Nobody else present agreed with this.

 

This, as far as I care, borders on breaking some base "meta" rules, in that the "Me" emote system is supposed to be used to emote, not talk.

 

The entire point of the Mime being unable to speak unless they break the Vow of Silence is that they're not supposed to communicate normally. Using the "Me" system to go around that and, basically, talk, is something I have personally BWOINK'd people over.

 

Mimes are mute. Act that way.

 

Perhaps worth mentioning "because doing so causes brain damage".

 

... good point.

 

What about cults, vampire, etc?

 

Adding:

 

unless there is a clear and present danger to their life

 

To the Guideline. Far as I know, Null Rods/Holy Swords have no special effect against the supernatural apart from revealing/destroying runes.

 

I wish there was a clause like: "Janitors are encouraged to use space cleaner wherever possible. Space cleaner does not create slippery surfaces and thus does not require wet floors signs, making it faster for the janitor and safer for the crew."

 

This reminds me of an ongoing thread. My opinion on this matter can be summed up thusly:

 

TL;DR: It's there, it can be used, just take the proper precautions.

 

I'd rather not encourage people to ignore a method of doing their job because doing so will cause a minor annoyance to whoever can't be bothered to click a button.

 

THAT SAID, adding the following to the Guideline:

 

During major crises, such as Nuclear Operatives or Blob Organisms, the Janitor is to refrain from creating any slippery surfaces whatsoever

 

[TullyBBurnalot]

In the absence of any further discussion, moving on.