Smiggie's list of Morons

[Smiggie Balls]

 

Name: Viktor vom Feuer

Age: 25

Gender: Male

Race: Human

Blood Type: O-

General Occupational Role(s): NanoTrasen Stockbroker, professional barfly

 

Biography: Viktor was born to a police officer and a scientist in a dilapidated megacity in the north of England. From an early age he was pressured to be either a roboticist, like his father, or to join the local law enforcement, like his mother, both of which were unappealing to young Viktor. When he was four, his mother was killed in a police raid, after which his father took a job as chief roboticist on a trade vessel. There, Viktor found his true calling in trading and the stock market, having once being given 5 credits by his father to spend at a local market and returning with 300 credits. (Note: extended alcoholism and brain damage via cloning have eroded these talents significantly)

 

At the age of 18 Viktor enrolled in a large business university in Lowell city, until an accident involving a fried butter eating contest, copious amounts of alcohol and a very large bus resulted in Viktor having his heart and left arm replaced with bionics. Viktor refuses to speak of it to this day, and it is thought that his smoking and alcohol addictions are a result of this event.

 

NanoTrasen, noting his talents, employed him as a stockbroker and desk monkey in Lowell City, as well as completing his university training, until an event at a company BBQ resulted in the 300,000 cR car of a major shareholder being jettisoned into Deep Space by Viktor. As punishment, Viktor was sent to the NSS Cyberiad to continue his job there, as what Viktor believed was a weak punishment. Five minutes off the shuttle, his left foot was chewed off by a cultist and his eyes were gouged out by a very unqualified surgeon. After discovering his 'promotion' was an excuse to send him to a dangerous deathtrap in space, Viktor spends most of his time drinking or trying to persuade Science to give him uranium in order to brew his Holy Grail, the Manhattan Project.

 

Qualifications: Degree in Business from Mars University of Business, base knowledge of Robotics repair

 

Employment Records: Stockbroker at Nanotrasen - four years

 

Bus driver for Lowell City Council - one year

 

Security Records:

 

Medical Records: Left arm, hand and foot are bionic, including eyes and heart. Despite drinking upwards of 20 White Russians per day, the liver appears to be in excellent shape, with slight radiation damage due to consumption of Manhattan Project cocktails

 

Personnel Photo (Appearance text):

 

 

Commendations [only to be added by admin]:

 

 

Reprimands [only to be added by admin]:

 

Other Notes: Can whistle La Marseillaise with a mouth full of crackers, can spell antidisestablishmentarianism backwards

 

Name: SYLVESTER

Age: 47

Gender: Male

Race: Integrated Positronic Chassis

Blood Type: N/A

General Occupational Role(s): Quartermaster, Cargo Technician, Roboticist

 

Biography: SYLVESTER was activated at 7:42 AM on October 30th, 2513. Soon after this, he was shipped to an office on the moon of Ganymede. There, he spent the next thirteen years or so sorting papers relating to the sales of ballpoint pens, which are Ganymede's main export. After one night spent sorting papers, he overheard a radio reporting on the 'Synthetic Struggle'. SYLVESTER, inspired by the actions of his metallic comrades, held his own strike for all of five minutes until a worker managed to switch him off and back on again. Infuriated by this, SYLVESTER came up with a cunning escape plan, which involved jumping out of a fourth floor window at 3 am, which earned him his freedom and his broken monitor. After wandering the streets of Ganymede for a few months, SYLVESTER discovered the IPC colony of Canaan, and managed to smuggle himself aboard a cargo vessel to a system near to the planet.

 

Upon arriving upon Canaan in the year 2528, SYLVESTER initially organised records and logs of materials collected to build the infrastructure, then later records of profits and losses for the growing Canaan economy. Deciding that he had filed enough paper for on lifetime, after 4 years on Canaan SYLVESTER decided to take up a new job. He applied for a job in the local post office, where he rose to the rank of postmaster within 3 years. 4 years after becoming postmaster, Canaan was discovered by the Sol government, and negotiations began on ensuring that IPCs were to become free citizens. After the initial agreements were made, SYLVESTER left Canaan in order to see the stars.

 

After nineteen years of roaming the stars, SYLVESTER decided it was time to return to gainful employment. Whilst travelling aboard a cargo ship, the captain informed him that the station that they were headed to was hiring a Quartermaster. SYLVESTER has been employed by Nanotrasen ever since.

 

Qualifications: Basic financial knowledge, basic administrative knowledge, basic IPC repair, basic knowledge of robotics

 

Employment Records: Filing Clerk, Ganymede Ballpoint Pen Co - 2514 - 2527,

Postmaster, Canaan Post Office - 2932 - 2540

Quartermaster, NSS Cyberiad and other NT locations, 2560 - current day

Roboticist, NSS Cyberiad, 2561 - current day

 

Security Records:

Several arrests for breaking and entering along with reprimands for being a drunken idiot

Medical Records:

 

Personnel Photo (Appearance text):

 

Commendations [only to be added by admin]:

 

 

Reprimands [only to be added by admin]:

 

Other Notes: His favourite album is Cargo by Men at Work, can play the saxophone despite having no lungs.

Has knowledge of firearms and basic medical knowledge, and can also convert weights very fast. His response when queried as to why is often "Don't worry about it"

Edited April 10, 2017 by Smiggie Balls
Added a personnel photo, as well as some more background info.

[Smiggie Balls]

Added Sylvester's bio and corrected some stuff. I'll probably do some of my other characters later

[Smiggie Balls]

Added a personnel photo. No idea who drew it since I got it from a /tg/ drawthread like the parasite I am.