Tales from Shitcurity.

[Miraviel]

Without names. Vampire round, the officer went to the Bridge to get help with their absent HoS - the HoS caught him there, cuffed him and brought him to his office for demotion for "mutiny". The rest is explained in the first sentence.

• Security Officer asks, "You DO realize that the HoS shouldn't go blind, deaf, and hulk just to chase down one man?"
• HoS hollers, "I'M GOING TO DEMOTE YOU FOR TRYING TO USURP MY POSITION, AFTER I EXECUTED THE VAMPIRE THAT KILLED YOU. DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY IN YOUR DEFENCE?!!!"
• Security Officer says, "I just wanted to help make sure sec is fully operational"
• HoS hollers, "IT IS!!!"
• Security Officer says, "Since you were barely on the comms, and I assumed you couldn't hear at all"
• HoS yells, "YOU PERSUADED ME TO LET YOU KEEP YOUR POSITION!!!"
• HoS roars, "BUT NO MORE TALK OF MUTINY!!!"

I karma'd this officer, though I doubt it revived his dead braincells

Edited January 1, 2018 by Zuki

[EvadableMoxie]

It's fairly early in the shift.  So far no major threats to contend with. I am the AI. 

I'm doing my normal scans of high risk areas and my camera view falls upon the Head of Security's office.  His locker is open, with his recreated laser gun just sitting there. Now as a crewsimov AI I generally don't care about objects which are traitor objectives, but a lethal weapon is a bit different.  It's capable of harming the crew and allowing it to be grossly unsecured would quality, in my mind, as allowing harm though inaction.

A lot of AIs would have made a snarky announcement embarrassing the HoS, but this really isn't A.N.G.E.L's style.  Besides, an announcement would let everyone know it's still there unsecured, which would be unsafe.  So, I simply PDA the Head of Security requesting they secure their locker.

About 10 minutes pass and I check on it and the locker is still open, gun still exposed.  So, I jump to the HoS to see what he's up to. He's attempting to Brig the clown, only he neglected to take the clown's PDA.  The clown slips him on his PDA while they are both in the cell. The HoS gets up, walks off the PDA and proceeds to stuff the clown into the brig cell's locker in response.  He then walks back over the PDA, which is still on the ground, slipping himself a second time.

Meanwhile, in a rare display of camaraderie with the clown, the mime has gotten involved and is trying to slip security in the sec hall with a bucket of water.  A security officer decides the best course of action to subdue the mime is to take an entire box of flash bangs and try to flash bang the mime. He accomplishes only flashbanging himself, resulting in him dropping the box of flashbangs, which the mime promptly picks up and begins using to throw live flashbangs at everyone in the security lobby.

So to recap the trainwreck in progress: The HoS's gun is sitting in his office, in an open locker.  The HoS is in a cell being slipped repeatedly by the clown's PDA.  The Mime is throwing flashbangs in the security lobby. The entire time the Brig Physican is watching this unfold with, what I imagine, is a mixture of horror and amusement as he tries to explain basic brigging procedure to the Head of Security.

The mime escapes, allowing Officer Flash Bang and the Head of Security to focus their efforts on the clown, which mostly involve trying to pepper spray him through his mask before giving up and simply allowing him to walk out without serving any brig time.

After this, I message the Head of Security again reminding him of his unsecured gun. He obligingly secures his locker.

I then reported all of this to the Captain. Now, A.N.G.E.L very, very rarely would do something like this. Rating the performance of command really isn't the AI's job, but I calculated that this security was so inept that not warning the Captain may constitute harm by inaction.  It doesn't really matter much as I am ignored anyway.

The clown proceeds to annoy the Head of Personnel to the point where the HoP calls for his demotion.  Afterward, the clown begins sending death threats to the HoP, and is ordered to be arrested.  Since he's threatening to harm crew, I decide to get involved.  The clown isn't on suit sensors and have removed their ID, so I check the unknowns.  I find a female humanoid unknown, and the clown is a female human.  This unknown is running around with a bandoleer and a double barrel shotgun, with no ID, face covered, on red alert.  I call for security to arrest him, but they are somewhat slow to respond. I notice he is wandering the halls and once he spots the HoP he begins to follow.  I alert the HoP immediately, who runs to the Brig. 

Security responds, and the person begins to flee.  I lock down the corridor, bolting all the doors and dropping firelocks, trapping the suspect in with two security, who eventually manage to subdue him despite the person releasing many smoke bombs. After being arrested it turns out my theory was correct and this person was indeed the clown.  Security demands a medal for apprehending the clown, and the captain agrees.  I am not given a thank you.

Around this time, Central Command calls for the Head of Security's demotion, and he becomes a normal officer. While this is a win, it's balanced out by the one competent security officer on the team cryoing out of sheer disgust and frustration.

You would think this would end his tail, but there is more to tell.

Former-HoS suddenly orders me to lock down the brig.  I jump to him and request he provide a reason why, that's not really something I'm going to do without a good reason, as locking security officers into the Brig is potentially harmful.  He states due to Xeno activity.  I ask him if he means the Shaft miner in the Xeno costume standing next to him. He apologizes.   A few minutes later however, he starts yelling about Xenos again, stating he has a face hugger.  He runs into interrogation and orders me to seal it. Interrogation has a a vent in it and it was unwelded, for the record.

As you might have guessed, it's a face hugger toy.  Well, I'm on crewismov, and his order isn't harmful to crew, so I tell him okay, I'm locking down interrogation, just let me know when you'd like to be let out.  He again states he has a face hugger and I let him know he can just take it off his face whenever he would like.

Command has started to get wind of this and is naturally freaking out, so I let them know it's a toy.  Ex-Hos takes it off his face and orders me to release the lockdown on interrogation. I happily comply.  Crewsimov.

And then I got subverted and abducted by aliens, but that doesn't really have much to do with security, so it is here the tale ends. Probably one of the most interesting rounds watching security as the AI. 

 

[Tayswift]

Alrighty I thought this was pretty fun just because how long of a fight this was, I felt like I was literally fighting for my life. I was blueshield and mechanic had run off with the CE. CE had no death alarm so everyone assumed she had died. I went on the retrieval mission and grabbed a mime space suit and clown space helmet on the off chance that I'd run into the ling, but mostly I assumed I was doing corpse recovery and was not really anticipating a fight. I jetpack over to the west because that was the direction the mechanic took off from, and hit Z3, so I figure the body's probably dumped in the white ship.

I walk through the white ship and lo and behold, there's two CEs, one tied to a chair, the other doing something or the other. I tase her and despite the armblade, I had the element of surprise and managed to harm baton her to death. At this point, I hadn't fought a ling post buff and hadn't realized just how fast a ling could revive from the dead. As I was trying to free the CE the ling pops back up like straight out of a horror movie and stunprods me. Somehow in between all the stunning and harmbatonning I manage to prime a flashbang, during which the CE managed to free herself, but sadly the flashbang went off underneath me as I didn't get a chance to throw it before being stunned.

At this point all stun batons have been used up, so the ling uses his telescopic on the CE, giving me the chance to flash the ling. The ling drops the baton, and I manage to permastun/kill it. This was the second death. As I'm yelling for backup on comms, I also shout that we need something sharp to decap the ling with, since there was no way we were getting out of there with the ling coming back every 30 seconds. So I remember the scalpel and limp my way over to the northern white ship room, heal myself with a few patches, and grab the scalpel that's on the ground. By the time I get back, the CE already has the ling on the ground. We finish it off and I spend what seems like forever hacking its head until it finally pops off. We steal the pod and fly off into the sunset, finishing the shift having not lost any members of command!

 

Edited January 19, 2018 by Tayswift

[Jackattack41498]

Alright. New story of shitcurity.

It's code green, and sec is raiding scichem, searching everything that moves. I get searched and they confiscate a bottle of smoke powder, a bottle of chocolate, potassium, and phosphorus labeled SmokeSpew, and a boxed space suit and helmet which, by the way, I found in maint, and is listed under non-contraband syndicate items. A friend, who I'm pretty sure knows space law and the contraband page better than I do, convinces sec to return the space suit, but they can't get them to return the bottles of chems that were going to remain in a chemlab.

By this time, I know another scientist is a traitor, so I tell him I know hes a traitor and I submit myself to being murdered because I've given up on caring.

Then, upon ghosting, I watch as sec arrest the corpse of a traitor miner, bring her to cloning, leave her there, and take about 20 minutes to realize that I'm dead on sensors in the chemlab. I could list more stuff they did that round, but by now you should know the full extent of sec's incompetence.

[Aletmagne]

Got a new one....

So doing my usual maint looting run. It's 30s into the shift and I'm not expecting much, actually I'm just trying to find some damn tools. See an electrical locker that by rights should be empty by now.

"Huh, a used storage implant..." I say to myself as I search through the untouched T-RAY scanners and other assorted junk. I grab it an immediately head to sec to turn it in.

Get to the brig, HoS is right there infront of me. I drop it at his feet and say where I found it in maint. He thanks me and tells a fellow officer to fetch the detective, good deed done for the shift.

I leave the brig and meet up with my friends we chat and catch up until 10 minutes later the HoS complete with an entourage of 3 other officers show up.

"Miss, you're under arrest for possession of contraband and being an EoC" the HoS says....

A YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

I get cuffed, dragged to brig like I'm public enemy No. 1 and sat in processing for another 5 minutes. The officer and HoS wander off, leaving Kennard the Detective standing across from wondering why the hell I'm here. As I'm being dragged I call for the IAA and state my case to them in processing.

As soon as Kennard realises that I brought the implant to sec and thus it had my prints on it he fetches the officer that put out the arrest (The same one who saw me drop it infront of the HoS) and yells at them for their incompetence. He immediately uncuffs and escorts me out.

Apparently towards the back end of that round the HoS threw Kennard under the bus and got him demoted. Why we don't issue job bans for gross incompetence I don't know...

[ZN23X]

After that round was over I remember someone saying "Wow Kennard got demoted?" on Discord. I didn't realize he got demoted for doing his job well.

Edited January 30, 2018 by ZN23X

[Calecute]

Everytime I was arrested as an antag sec was great to me. Once I got arrested like 20 min into the round with the blueprints and an emag in my satchel. I was very polite to sec but insisted I had found it in maint, and was on my way to deliver them to sec, when I was interrupted by a breach in the vault windows, so I decided to fix the breach first (I was engi). My story was a little bit hard to believe, but Tetra Vega as HoS tracker implanted me and let me go. I left wondering if I would have the guts to kill her (my other objective) after that. Luckily (or unluckily) I did not have to find out as the RD teleport gunned her to her demise soon after. 

But once I was an atmos and a guy in a gas mask with sec uniform identified as the other atmos tech, enters atmos and starts gearing up in fire fighter gear. I'm in eng lobby with another eng, we ask him about the sec gear. He remains silent. He's tries walking out through eng lobby but we block him. We start to fight, but we overcome him, wirecuff him, and take out the mask. He was obviously not the other atmos tech. He tries to speak to us, but only in space Latin, so I have no idea what he was saying. I start to drag him to the brig but a sec borg tase me in the way. Fair enough, I was dragging a cuffed guy. Me and the other eng explain the situation, get the atmos id and borg leaves with the guy. The atmos tech was ok, the guy had just stolen his ID. 

Few minutes later the same guy comes pulling the same shit with an eng id. We wirecuff him again. I check him out at the crew manifest, the fucker is sec. That’s why he was out so soon. I decide to take matters in my own had, strip him and wall him in eng construction site. Soon enough there are 4 sec officers there. I tell them what happened, and that they had their chance to deal with it. They say it was a bit too much. In the middle of the conversation one of them stun cuffs me out of nowhere. They bring us both to processing. Chaplain fills me with holy water for no fucking reason (It was a cult round). The officer put me in for kidnapping, and let the fucker go cuz he's sec, he got a mindshield. I ask him if a mindshield is license to break into places and steal ids, but get no answer. The guy whose ID the fucker was wearing second time was also in prison, on made up charges according to him. 

[Calecute]

Helping sec is always a fucking chore, it'd be nice if someone manned the sec lobby desk. Everytime I find something that I should deliver to sec I spend minutes in the lobby yelling to officers passing by who usually just ignore me.

[Aletmagne]

1 hour ago, ZN23X said:

After that round was over I remember someone saying "Wow Kennard got demoted?" on Discord. I didn't realize he got demoted for doing his job well.

I shoulda been more clear. The reason Kennard got demoted was unrelated to me. Just pointing out that we REALLY need to consider screening players in heads roles more

[Aletmagne]

1 hour ago, Calecute said:

Everytime I was arrested as an antag sec was great to me. Once I got arrested like 20 min into the round with the blueprints and an emag in my satchel. I was very polite to sec but insisted I had found it in maint, and was on my way to deliver them to sec, when I was interrupted by a breach in the vault windows, so I decided to fix the breach first (I was engi). My story was a little bit hard to believe, but Tetra Vega as HoS tracker implanted me and let me go. I left wondering if I would have the guts to kill her (my other objective) after that. Luckily (or unluckily) I did not have to find out as the RD teleport gunned her to her demise soon after. 

But once I was an atmos and a guy in a gas mask with sec uniform identified as the other atmos tech, enters atmos and starts gearing up in fire fighter gear. I'm in eng lobby with another eng, we ask him about the sec gear. He remains silent. He's tries walking out through eng lobby but we block him. We start to fight, but we overcome him, wirecuff him, and take out the mask. He was obviously not the other atmos tech. He tries to speak to us, but only in space Latin, so I have no idea what he was saying. I start to drag him to the brig but a sec borg tase me in the way. Fair enough, I was dragging a cuffed guy. Me and the other eng explain the situation, get the atmos id and borg leaves with the guy. The atmos tech was ok, the guy had just stolen his ID. 

Few minutes later the same guy comes pulling the same shit with an eng id. We wirecuff him again. I check him out at the crew manifest, the fucker is sec. That’s why he was out so soon. I decide to take matters in my own had, strip him and wall him in eng construction site. Soon enough there are 4 sec officers there. I tell them what happened, and that they had their chance to deal with it. They say it was a bit too much. In the middle of the conversation one of them stun cuffs me out of nowhere. They bring us both to processing. Chaplain fills me with holy water for no fucking reason (It was a cult round). The officer put me in for kidnapping, and let the fucker go cuz he's sec, he got a mindshield. I ask him if a mindshield is license to break into places and steal ids, but get no answer. The guy whose ID the fucker was wearing second time was also in prison, on made up charges according to him. 

To me that's ahelpable. Sec are NOT above the law and if they're stealing IDs to gain access if the Heads won't deal with the situation properly either.

[TrainTN]

1 hour ago, Aletmagne said:

I shoulda been more clear. The reason Kennard got demoted was unrelated to me. Just pointing out that we REALLY need to consider screening players in heads roles more

Head roles can be hard enough to fill as-is. If you want to start banning people for not living up to standards then you may as well just white-list the jobs. And I despise whitelists.

Edited January 30, 2018 by TrainTN

[Calecute]

I was just gonna throw the guy in incinerator to be honest, IAA was busy with the eng who claimed he was arrested on made up charges. I was too pissed at sec to talk to the HoS about it. But shift ended right after I got released. I considered piping brig waste to brig supply, puting a plasma can in brig atmos, and turning on the pumps from atmos central computer, but this would probably lead to a big bwoink. But my desire to burn the brig to the ground never left me thou, since then I've been just waiting for a good excuse (a hijack objective as an antag). 

[ZN23X]

2 hours ago, Calecute said:

Everytime I was arrested as an antag sec was great to me. Once I got arrested like 20 min into the round with the blueprints and an emag in my satchel. I was very polite to sec but insisted I had found it in maint, and was on my way to deliver them to sec, when I was interrupted by a breach in the vault windows, so I decided to fix the breach first (I was engi). My story was a little bit hard to believe, but Tetra Vega as HoS tracker implanted me and let me go. I left wondering if I would have the guts to kill her (my other objective) after that. Luckily (or unluckily) I did not have to find out as the RD teleport gunned her to her demise soon after. 

I remember that round. Didn't know I was your target. That makes it all the better. I assumed you were an EOC but I like to reward people who behave good. If you were kicking and screaming you probably woulda found perma. 

I legitimately had a sec officer from that round contact me on Discord after and say "YOU LET AN EOC WITH AN EMAG GET AWAY, HOW COULD YOU!?"

New round began. World kept turning. Would have it been more interesting for me to just throw you in perma all shift?

As for your 2nd story, 2 things to address:

1. Sec needed to be ahelped for breaking the law and failing to do anything about it.

2. The chaplain needed to be ahelped for force feeding you holy water despite zero evidence you are cult. I've gotten bwoinked for doing the "Feed everyone in processing holy water" routine. You need evidence.

If you remember names and the time of the round I'd file a player complaint. Need crap like that cleaned up. Too many new players who haven't been educated well enough to know how to play fairly and properly. Need to be held accountable and learn.

[Aletmagne]

1 hour ago, TrainTN said:

Head roles can be hard enough to fill as-is. If you want to start banning people for not living up to standards then you may as well just white-list the jobs. And I despise whitelists.

I'm not saying outright banning someone for messing up, christ we're aren't Yogstation. But giving them a 3 hour job ban so the hopefully go "Ok maybe my actions negatively impacted someone else's round in ways it shouldn't of" because otherwise unless and admin directly bwoinks them they are never gonna learn

[ZN23X]

Reeeeeeofftopic. Create a new topic where people can once again open the Pandoras Box of how to properly regulate head roles.

Post funny and awful security stories here.

Please and thank you ?

Edited January 30, 2018 by ZN23X

[Calecute]

Yeah, I knew you were doing it to give me another chance, and to reward me for not being a dick when captured ZN23X. Thanks for that.

About ahelping I really feel dirty ahelping things, no one likes snitches, but I guess I shouldn't, I read the ban appels with some frequency and it seens it really helps, by making some people change their behaviour and removing the poisoned apples. Even the bwoink I took for  forgeting to set internals for a vox made me never forget this kinda thing again. But I don't remember the details about this case, so nothing I can do about it now.

[Calecute]

Just remembered another one. I was a vamp with a kill objective. I hacked a med-vendi, got a crew monitor and started tracking my target. Met him wondering about maint twice, but Blaire, the CMO was always there too. Meeting the CMO randomly in maint is pretty unlikely and I realized Blaire was following me, probably wanting to kill me. I convince my target to come with me to show him something, bring him to the slot machine room in chappel maint, stuncuff him, take out the radio, and started eating. A sec came right them. My target ran, I lost the struggle and was arrested. I was trying to bullshit my way out, but my target said I bit his neck before running. It's really difficult to explain biting a cuffed guys neck. The only other explanation besides being a vamp is kinda ERP.

Anyway, while I'm talking with sec Blaire barges is: "This man is sick", and injects me. Soon after my body explodes and a borg comes out of it. The three guys in the room were impressed: "Wow, CMO was really right, this guy was really sick.". No one got what happened. 

Anyway I was happy to be able to continue in the round outside perma as a borg. 

[Streaky Haddock]

I was the Warden! I strongly suspected Blaire had done something only because I saw her putting her hypo into her backpack, but when the brig phys came over and said "I dunno what this guy's got, but the cure is copper" I didn't put the pieces together until you exploded into a borg. At that point I was like: "Welp. There's no way I can prove my suspicions, best to just move on."

IT was code green at the time, so I couldn't just tell someone to nab and examine the CMO's hypo.

[Calecute]

For some reason there were tons of ponies in jan closet. LUNA was the janitor and liked them, but there was also clown janitor, who wanted to kill them. They started to fight over the fate of the ponies. While this was happening, I sensed a pretty anti-pony feeling in comms, so I started thinking soon there would be people breaking into jan closet to kill all the ponies. I took advantage of the 2 fighters constantly open maint door to jan closet and started snatching some ponies into atmos. I think I got like 4 or 5 before sec pod pilot blocked the door and started a ponies genocide. 

I thought that was it, the AI said she would not reveal ponies locations anymore to prevent expenses, and no one would find the ponies in atmos. But someone on command uploaded an anti-pony law. I was fucked. I quickly put atmos into lockdown and walled the maint door, hardsuited up, and started taking cams down. Not sure if I forgot a cam of if the AI new about the other atmos lockdown button outside atmos, but AI kept opening it. Detective came in and started telescopic battoning a pony. So I disarmed him, battoned him, and tried to cuff him. Unfortunately he got up before I could and started shooting me. He hit an apc that blew up in the firefight. After some time he had me under custody, and called an officer to bring me to the brig. 

So I explained everything to the officer and he wanted me down for assault. The detective wanted more charges, so he put resisting arrest, and sabotage. When I asked where the fuck did he pulled sabotage from he said I was "sabotaging sec work", whatever that means (also killing ponies for fun is not work). Anyway after some discussion they come to the conclusion that they could charge me with sabotage because I was responsible for the exploded apc in atmos. (TBH I thinking cutting AI cams could fall under sabotage, but AFAIK they did not know about that.). I'm not a space law specialist, but I think they should have charged me at most with battery. Sabotage was completely ridiculous, and I don't think resisting arrest applies to a case like this, where the fight starts for a reason other than arrest. And ideally they should have accepted my defense of self defense, as a guy with no access barged into my workplace and started attacking my ponies. (also no clue to why they didn't pin assaulting an officer on me, since they pinned assault and the assault was supposedly committed against a sec member, but whatever)

They briged me for 20 minutes for defending my ponies, Warden was dead while this went on, when he came back I tried talking to him, but he said he had no time, for me to call the IAA. I had complained about the charges in comms already, and specifically tried to call the IAA, but to no avail. I was not sure if we had an IAA cuz I was without my PDA in brig. I know for sure we had one while I was going out, as I saw him in the brig, but I think it was a late join. 

Unfortunately I was kidnaped by a cult while I was setting up my revenge. But I’ll be as antagonist to sec as possible in the future.

[Calecute]

This reminded me of another animal shitcurity story. I was bartender and start of the shift went to chem to ask for radium, plasma and ethanol, and to get a toxins kit from med storage. (I mix some antihol and keep it in the bar for emergency alcohol overdose treatment). WHen i came back mime had killed my monkey and was beating it's dead corpse. Sec came saw us fighting and arrested mime. He asked what happened, I told him the mime had killed my monkey. He promptly released the mime saying: animals are not crew, and walked away before I could say anything. I said over comms mime had tresspassed to kill my monkey and that killing the monkey was also vandalism as I use his blood to mix drinks (My bartender is an IPC, so I can't use my own blood). Sec did not care.

So the pod pilot comes asking for a drink and I say I'm not serving sec while the mime is free. Soon after HoP, who aparently is secs bitch, says in service comm that I have to serve sec. I say I won't. He say he'll fire me, and I say go ahead. He calls me to HoP line, I say I won't go, I'll be in the bar if he wants me. He comes to the bar and asks for my ID, I say I won't give it, he'll have to call sec to take it. So he does, and 4 sec officers show up, they ask for my id, and I say I won't give it. Three of them realise this is a poor use of their time and go away. The other one climbs into the bar, but keeps trying to convince me. HoP gets feeded, this has taken something like 10-15 minutes allready, and he climbs, telescopic battons me and takes my id. 

[ZN23X]

30 minutes ago, Calecute said:

Unfortunately I was kidnaped by a cult while I was setting up my revenge. But I’ll be as antagonist to sec as possible in the future.

It sounds like it may have been a good thing you got culted. I don't know what "setting up your revenge" entailed but if it was anything too elaborate as a non antag you may have risked getting in trouble with admins.

[Calecute]

Yeah it migh have been too much, I was pissed as hell, but I wasn't gonna flood the brig with plasma, and i expected no one to die as a direct consequence of my revenge. But I'm never ever giving sec info or help again. Next time i find CMO locker in outpost i'm gonna keep quiet. Next time i have the blood of the AI stealer on me, i'm just gonna wash it. Next time i see the clown kidnaping an officer i'm gonna keep it to myself. Next time sec come asking who else has an atmos hardsuit, I'm not snitching the fucker who took the hardsuit start shift and didn't do any work. Next time sec needs eng door open, I'll refeer them to the AI. Next time a antag is going to eng pod through atmos I'm gonna just let them slide. Next time brig needs repairs or atmos work I'm simply not gonna do it.Next time i see an emaged door i'll just repair it without telling anyone if I'm an eng, or ignore it if I'm an atmos. Next time i find a sec officer body hidden in maint, i'll just close the locker again and keeo working. I hope all the small things over time will amount to a big revenge.

[ZN23X]

Don't call for help when you need to be saved ?

[Calecute]

TBH I ussually just call for help in eng channel. And half the time is nothing sec related, just got fastmos too bad or something like that. I do that because someone who knows me and gives a shit about me will hear it, while I've seem a fair amount of calls in common being lost in the noise. But I'll remember not to call sec on greytides dipshits breaking into eng and stuff, I'll just deal with them myself. 

[bryanayalalugo]

So a long time back, as a Warden (it seems I tend to encounter incompetent security staff as a Warden), I start getting ready and whatnot. I don't hear any introductions in the security channel, and I start getting worried. I pull up the Crew manifest and see that we have several security staff, including a Vulpkanin HoS, who speaks a moment afterwards. Everything goes well for a while, only worried a bit about the HoS late response on somethings and extended silence.

After about 30 minutes, Central Command contacts the Captain that they are sending something (top secret) for 'safe keeping'. I notice the HoS didn't relay any orders to the Security Officers to go and ensure said object was secured and kept descreet, so I had to request the Officers to do so (the HoS shortly relayed this to the Officers).

During this time, I was really nervous, because I thought it would be that SCP statue thing. It turns out it was just a secured crate, which was then placed in the AI upload.

Things went quiet, me nervous that whatever was in that crate would turn out to be some sort of deadly entity that would escape and kill us all.

30 minutes later, I hear calls of Nuclear Operatives attacking the Bridge, telecomms then shortly goes down. I quickly arm the Officers and wait to see what happens.

15 to 20 minutes has passed, with no information from the Bridge attack, I was tempted to leave the Brig and check, until I see the HoS. I thought all went well, and that the Operatives were dealt with, given that the HoS came to the Brig, with no visible injuries. I approach them and ask them about the Bridge Operatives. They say "Is that still going on?"

FACEPALM

I just died a bit in the inside when they said that. Shortly afterwards, telecomms came back on, the Operatives dealt with, and me being extremely questionable about the competency of the HoS. Eventually, the HoS brings in some people into the Brig, which they did some dumb stuff, which didn't count as a crime. I point this out to them, irritated at the fact that they were wasting time, they threaten me with demotion for being "disrespectful" (which technically was disrespectful, but it doesn't count if they are clearly incompetent). Ten minutes pass, the person still in the Brig, and the HoS still not doing anything about it. Eventually, I get fed up on this, I tell off the HoS on how incompetent they are. They walk out, and I release the person in the Brig.

As I close the airlock to the Brig after letting the person out, I notice a huge, red wanted square over me. The HoS then states that I am to be demoted for being disrespectful. I say to myself "NOPE, NOT GETTING DEMOTED BY A INCOMPETENT IDIOT". At that moment, the worst happens, Pandora's box the Secure crate from Central Command ends up being opened, which was some sort of explosive device (it lagged the game very bad) and it destroyed the Gravity Generator.

So there I was, trying to move around with no gravity, with terrible lag, the HoS trying to taze me down, me trying to taze the HoS down, Beepsky after me for the wanted warrant on me, explosions from the south, me trying to unset my arrest, me also trying to set the HoS to arrest. Then both of us running out of tazer charge, me charging towards the HoS with a baton, Beepsky chasing the HoS down for their newly set arrest status, the HoS running out into the lobby.

Eventually, Beepsky gets the HoS in the Brig Lobby, and I grab them and take them to the Brig. The Pilot comes by and the HoS tells them to arrest me, the Pilot says no, they also seeing the HoS as being incompetent.

Shortly afterwards, the round had to be restarted due to the severe lag caused by the crate being opened.

 

Edited February 5, 2018 by bryanayalalugo