Tales from Shitcurity.

[Robertruler77]

He might've been @Aletmagne though I can't recall exactly. I can tell you I was EMPed in processing.

[Aletmagne]

52 minutes ago, Robertruler77 said:

He might've been @Aletmagne though I can't recall exactly. I can tell you I was EMPed in processing.

Klees told me of a very similar story, where his EMP implant caused the officers with robotics limbs to have them fall off and the Brig Phys to die of a heart attack due to cybernetic heart

[Robertruler77]

Ah, yes. That'll be the round. An armless officer had to drag my body to medical for a revive.

[Veloxi]

A Mime, A Janitor, and a Head of Security walk into Brig Processing...

Here follows a woeful tale of shitcurity, for which I take the blame.

I was playing Katlyn Hudson, Head of Security.
For me, it was a long day of playing SS13, including some rather stressful shifts as Captain.
When I spawned as Head of Security, I thought "Great, I only have to worry about the one department instead of all of them."
I must have been too tired to remember just how difficult Security can be.

The Mime was a shitter, committing Major Trespass into Command areas at every opportunity.
The first time I had the Mime in the processing room, I searched them and cut them loose with a warning, per the Magistrate.
My Warden went to cryo, and I think so did the Magistrate.
My _two_ Detectives, armed with lethals, out on patrol...
(if you're getting the sense that the HoS was running a real shitshow operation, you're probably right)
... were half my security force, plus a security borg.

A Doctor reports a suspicious janitor around the scene of a murder, so I mark the janitor for arrest for questioning/search.
We're on Green, so there are no cuffs when people come willingly.
The shitter Mime gets hauled in again on another Major Trespass and is sitting in the processing room, cuffed.
When I get to the processing room, the Janitor is also present, not cuffed, and riding the Janicart.

How a Head of Security hopes that it will go:

HoS: Hey Janitor, please sit over there. I'll have some questions after I'm done with the Mime.
Janitor: *sits down*
Mime: *writes something on a piece of paper*
HoS: Now Mime, you can't break into those places, even if the door is open. This is your last final warning, I don't wanna see you here again.
Mime: *nods*
HoS cuts Mime loose.
HoS: Okay, Janitor you were spotted near a murder, so I need to search your bag.
Janitor: OK
HoS searches bag,
HoS: Okay, nothing here. Sorry for the trouble, you're free to go.
HoS cuts janitor loose.

How it actually went:

Janitor grabs Mime's stuff, including PDA off the table and stuffs it into garbage bag.
HoS: Hey, could you sit down
Mime breaks out of cuffs, begins Disarm fight with Janitor.
Janitor joins Disarm fight, and Mime/Janitor disarm and fight over the trash bag.
HoS: STOP!!!
Mime and Janitor continue to run around fighting each other.
HoS tases Mime, puts cuffs on, but misses the grab before the Mime runs away.
Janitor disarms Mime again to knock them down, grabs trash bag off the table.
Janitor: Can I go now?
HoS tases Janitor, puts on cuffs, hauls Janitor off to a cell.
Janitor attempts to run out of the cell several times.
HoS: STOP. STAY HERE.
HoS bucklecuffs Janitor to bed.
HoS sets 60 minute timer for "Protective Custody; until the Mime can be processed."
Detectives ask over security radio, "60 minutes?"
HoS explains trouble in brig and please come help with the janitor if they are available.
HoS goes back to processing to handle the Mime.
*BWOINK*: Did you brig the Janitor for 60 minutes?
Me ... *facepalm*
"Yes. I don't want to keep the Janitor for 60 minutes. The janitor and mime are fighting in processing and I need to keep them separated until I can handle the Mime."
*BWOINK*: Okay, process the Janitor as soon as possible.
HoS goes back to processing to finish up with the Mime...
HoS sees the Mime *finish committing suicide*.
HoS reads the Mime's suicide note left on the processing table, expressing deep frustration with security.

At this point, I begin to ponder if trying to Med/High RP in Security is even worth it.
My goal was to give the Mime another last final warning and cut them loose.
Maybe help the Mime feel like they got one over on the security force, cops can't touch them, etc., etc.
In hindsight, I think being a hardass, throwing them in for 15 minutes for Major Trespass, plus a few extra unnecessary stunbatons (because 'Don't fuck with Sec, you shitter.') would have been infinitely kinder. Or least, they wouldn't have committed suicide over it.

HoS shakes her head. No help for the Mime. So what about the Janitor?
HoS goes back to the Janitor's cell, it's empty.
A Detective released the Janitor without a search.

Gee, good thing I "only have to worry about one department instead of all of them".

In hindsight, I can see lots of things that I did wrong in that shift. The short list is:

• I shouldn't have let two Detectives act like Security Officer+
• I should have had one Detective playing Detective
• I should have had the other Detective go to Warden, go to Officer, or go out of security altogether.
• I shouldn't have let the suspects outnumber security in processing
• I should have called for backup as soon as I had the headcount that put me at disadvantage
• I shouldn't have tried to be kind to the Mime a second time
• I should have thrown the Mime in for 15; optionally add an unnecessary stunbaton or two.

Most importantly, I shouldn't have tried to play Head of Security without the energy and attention to do the role properly.
I think it's easily the hardest job on the station, and trying to do it while exhausted is just asking for trouble.

Special note: Sorry to the suicide Mime. I wasn't trying to ruin your round.