Wizard

ENEMY STAFF
Wizard	Access: None Additional Access: Wherever you can teleport to Difficulty: Very Hard Supervisors: Space Wizard Federation Duties: Welcome the crew to DIE. Guides: This is the guide Quote: FORTI GY AMA

The Wizard's Ship

Crew members of SS13, I offer you my sincerest greetings. My name is of no matter, but if you must call me something, you may call me The QuarterWizard. I would like to inform you that I am the noble leader of the Wizards Federation.

You may be wondering, "Why, why mighty QuarterWizard, why do you send wizards to the station to destroy us all?"

Well, denizen of the station, it's quite simple really: One or more of your crew has angered our magical Federation, and now you will all pay the price.

If you're lucky enough to only have certain members of the crew anger us, like that geneticist who once claimed that us magical folk are merely "products of genetics research", then you're more than likely to survive, assuming you give our wizard the means to escape early on. If not, well... Not even I, the mighty QuarterWizard can guarantee your safety. We train our wizards to be masters of many spells, so there is no saying how exactly you will succumb to our mighty wizards.

But, for you lesser beings, I have archived a list of our most common spells, so as to assist you simpletons in identifying just how skilled and varied our wizards can be.

Wizarding 101

If you are lucky enough to be chosen to be a Wizard, you will spawn in the Wizard's Den, a completely inaccessible ship where you can safely plan your assault on the station. In addition to the various small trinkets littering the Den, you begin with your robes and a spell book in your backpack. You also begin with a four-use Scroll of Teleport; if you don't take the Teleport spell, this scroll is how you board the station proper. Once you leave the Den there's no coming back, so make sure you're prepared!

The magic mirror in your bedroom will let you freely change your name, appearance, and most interestingly race. Do remember that the Wizard is considered human by the AI, unless they change their race.

The most important part of any respectable wizard is their wizardly outfit. The hat and robes you begin with aren't just for style points; without them, roughly half of your list of spells become uncastable! Unless you're playing a stealth wizard, keeping your pants on is absolutely vital. Hurl spells, throw rocks, shout hurtful names at them. Whatever you do, don't let the crew touch the clothes.

Use the Wizard's Den you start in to familiarize yourself with the spells before you teleport onto the station. You can even learn and refund the spells as often as you'd like as long as you're here. Take your time, there's no need to jump in right away. You should also use the advanced camera console to spy on the station before leaving, to see what the crew is up to and find a safe place to teleport in.

Quick Checklist for new Wizards

1. Choose name, race and appearance with the magic mirror.
2. Spend 10 spell points with the spell book.
3. Make sure you are wearing one of the robes and one of the hats (unless you plan to stealth or use robeless spells).
4. (Optional): Bring anything else you think might be useful. The free staffs/brooms are just decorations or very weak melee weapons.
5. (Optional): Find a good location to teleport to with the advanced camera console.
6. Use the scroll of teleportation to teleport to the station. Remember, you do not start with a flashlight. Maintenance will be pitch black.

After arriving to the station, you can do whatever you want. Cast spells by clicking the icons that appear to your upper left. They will be red when on cooldown.

Evocations and Trinkets

In your spell book, you will find four sections that allow you to buy spell and magical items: Deadly Invocations, Defensive Invocations, Magical Transportation and Assistance and Summoning. These spells can be further upgraded after learnt in order to reduce their cooldowns, or even enhance their effects. The following four tables include all the items in those, sorted by spell/item type.

Robed Spells

These spells require the Wizard's POWERFUL, MYSTICAL ROBES AND HAT. So wizards, for your own sakes, never take off your robes.

Spell name	Invocation	Description	Cooldown in seconds	Cost
Deadly Evocations
Rod Form	CLANG!	Take the form of a mighty immovable rod, capable of tearing walls down, destroy machinery and critically injure anyone foolish enough to stand in your path!	25 / 21.2 / 17.5 / 13.7 / 10	2
Smite	EI NATH!	This spell will charge your hand with a powerful energy that can blow up the next person or cyborg that you touch. Their brain will still be recoverable. It is seen as a cheap way to kill.	60 / 50 / 40 /30 / 20	2
Mutate	BIRUZ BENNAR!	Temporarily transforms the wizard into a stun-immune hulk, capable of destroying walls with their massive strength and of shooting lasers using their massive minds. To shoot lasers, use Combat Mode Enable with 4, disable with 1 or toggle with F by default. Left-clicking people with an empty hand will Harm them if on, or Help them if off. Prevents you from switching places or being pushed when colliding with people. and click on a non-adjacent target. 20 burn per shot.	40 / 37.5 / 35 / 32.5 / 30	2
Flesh to Stone	STAUN EI!	Can turn even the angriest crew member into a comparatively calm statue. The spell will wear off eventually but is useful for neutralizing threats non-fatally or creating emergency cover. Keep in mind that when the spell wears off if the statue isn't in good shape anymore the crew member won't be either. Instead of gibbing the target and leaving a brain it turns the target into a solid statue. However after a certain amount of time the statue will revert back to the original target. By itself it's just a gimmick -- players turned into stone won't count as dead for objective purposes. However when this spell is paired with the "Staff of Animation" this becomes a spell even more devastating than Ei Nath or Fireballs. (tl;dr: Use it with a Staff of Animation or just use Ei Nath.)	60 / 50 / 40 / 30 / 20	2
Tesla Blast	UN'LTD P'WAH!'	Charges a lightning blast over 10 seconds. When it finishes channeling (you can move while charging) it will shoot a blast of lightning at a random mob within 7 tiles, dealing damage and stunning them. The blast can "chain" to up to 5 additional targets, and will stun and damage each of them (the damage decreases in potency with each "bounce", but the stun length does not). If no mob is nearby on release, the spell's cooldown will reset. You cannot cast this spell again while it is still charging a tesla blast. The tesla blasts from this spell are not blocked by hardsuits or insulated gloves.	30 / 23.25 / 16.5 / 9.75 / 3	2
Lesser Summon Guns	N/A	Why reload when you have infinite guns? Summons an unending stream of bolt action rifles. They deal 20 brute and 80 stamina damage per shot. Requires both hands free to use. Learning this spell makes you unable to learn Arcane Barrage.	75 / 56.3 / 38 / 19.3 / 1	3
Arcane Barrage	N/A	Fire a torrent of arcane energy at your foes with this (powerful) spell. Requires both hands free to use. Deals 20 burn per shot. Learning this spell makes you unable to learn Lesser Summon Guns.	75 / 56.3 / 38 / 19.3 / 1	3
Scream for Me	SCREAM`FOR`ME!!	Using this spell will channel it to your hand, similarly to Smite. Touching someone with this will open large bleeding wounds in all of their limbs. This will kill the target after a few seconds, unless of course they don't have any blood.	60 / 50 / 40 / 30 / 20	1
Summon Simians	OOGA OOGA OOGA!!!	This spell reaches deep into the elemental plane of bananas (the monkey one, not the clown one), and summons primal monkeys and lesser gorillas that will promptly flip out and attack everything in sight. Fun! Their lesser, easily manipulable minds will be convinced you are one of their allies, but only for a minute. Unless you also are a monkey. The amount of monkeys spawned increases with spell level. Monkeys spawn with random gear and upgrading the spell to a higher level makes them more likely to have better weapons. Upgrading the spell to level 5 makes it so that you gain a free gorilla transformation spell.	90 / 75 / 60 / 45 / 30	2
Defensive Evocations
Magic Missile	FORTI GY AMA!	The bread and butter of most wizards. This spell summons little magical orbs that chase nearby targets, stunning them on hit. While slow, the orbs track their targets, making them very hard to avoid. Every target will have its own orb, so there's no limit to the amount of targets as long as they're in range.	20 / 16.5 / 13 / 9.5 / 6	2
Disable Tech	NEC CANTIO!	An EMP: disables all technology within range of the spell. Be wary -- it can shock doors.	40 / 35 / 30 / 25 / 20	1
Repulse	GITTAH WEIGH!	Throws everything around the user away. Range 5 tiles. Also knocks down crewmen for a short stun. Items that are thrown can fly into crew as well, which has potential to deal moderate damage. A good choice when used with Blink to make for quick getaways.	40 / 37.5 / 35 / 32.5 / 30	2
Thrown Lightning	LIGHTNINGBOLT!!	Forged from eldrich energies, a packet of pure power known as a spell packet will appear in your hand that when thrown will stun the target it hits. Deals no damage.	1	2
Time Stop	TOKI YO TOMARE!	Stops time in a 5x5 area around you. Affected mobs will be unable to move, and passing projectiles will be stopped until the timestop ends. This means it can be used to unload a laser gun into a target all at once. The caster (and the caster's Guardian Spirit if he/she has one), is, of course, unaffected by this spell.	50 / 40 / 30 / 20 / 10	2
Spacetime Distortion	N/A	Will distort the space around you, making it so walking on any of the distorted tiles could lead you to another random distorted tile. Will affect the caster too.	30	1
The Traps!	CAVERE INSIDIAS	Summons various traps around you that will trigger upon being walked on or if an object is thrown over/across them. All untriggered traps disappear 5 minutes after the spell is cast. Includes fire, shock, ice and stun traps among others. You are, of course, immune to your own traps.	25 / 21.25 / 17.5 / 13.75 / 10	1
Lesser Summon Bees	NOT THE BEES	This spell magically kicks a transdimensional beehive, instantly summoning a swarm of bees to your location. These bees are NOT friendly to anyone, including you.	60 / 50 / 40 / 30 / 20	2
Magical Transportation
Blink	N/A	A lesser form of teleportation. The wizard has no ability to control it, and it will usually send him a good distance, but it has a very short cooldown.	2 / 1.6 / 1.2 / 0.8 / 0.5	2
Teleport	SCYAR NILA!	Instantly transports a space wizard to any location he pleases, as long as it's within range (the Z-level you're on).	60 / 50 / 40 / 30 / 20	2
Ethereal Jaunt	N/A	After casting this spell the wizard dissolves into thin air, becoming invisible to both eye and thermal sensors, as well as being able to pass through any obstacle. This spell lasts for several seconds. If the wizard was stunned while casting this, he won't be able to move until the stun wears off.	30 / 25 / 20 / 15 / 10	2
Assistance and Summoning
Soul Tap	AT ANY COST!	Taps your soul. Trades 20 max health for a refresh of all of your spells. Does not work if you have no soul, from formerly using Bind Soul.	1	1

Robeless Spells

There are many other spells that do not require THE EXTRA MIGHT of a magic wizard robe. These spells are weaker, but nothing to laugh at.

Spell name	Invocation	Description	Cooldown in seconds	Cost
Deadly Evocations
Fireball	ONI'SOMA!	Summons a destructive fireball in the caster's hand. When thrown it will detonate when adjacent to a target, blinding and deafening him and anyone around him, as well as dealing high damage and usually knockdown. Fireballs are dangerous, though: they will damage the caster as well, if he ends up in the blast radius. Can be cast while stunned. Range is 8 tiles plus 2 per upgrade.	6 / 5 / 4 / 3 / 2	2
Lightning Bolt	P'WAH, UNLIM'TED P'WAH	Charges a lightning ball. Click a target to shoot it. The bolt will arc and split damage between people hit. Does not stun. Is not blocked by hardsuits or insulated gloves.	10 / 8 / 6 / 4 / 2	1
Blind	STI KALY!	Blinds an individual temporarily.	30 / 23.7 / 17.5 / 11.2 / 5	1
Barnyarn Curse	KN'A`FTAGHU,`PUCK`'BTHNK!	This spell dooms an unlucky soul to possess the speech and facial attributes of a barnyard animal. Anyone unfortunate enough to be targeted with this spell cannot remove the mask without the help of chemistry and can only communicate with obnoxious animal noises. For when you just don't give a fuck.	15 / 12 / 9 / 6 / 3	2
Spell Cards	Sigi'lu`M'Fan`'Tasia	Activate and you'll be able to shoot five shotgun-like bursts of spell cards, which deal minor burn damage (about 14 per full burst). The cards fly similarly to paper airplanes.	5 / 4 / 3 / 2 / 1	2
Splattercasting	THE STARS ALIGN! THE COSMOS BLEEDS!	You become a Vampire, removing your need for oxygen (doesn't make you pressure immune, though), with a greatly reduced spell cooldown, but the constant need for blood. If you're outside of a coffin, you will slowly lose blood, that can be regained with a new "Bite" ability as well as some spells. Being inside of a coffin will steadily heal you as well. Casting spells will drain your blood at a much more accelerated rate, and can easily kill you from bloodloss if you're not careful. This spell is incompatible with Bind Soul, and in a similar fashion, it gives you red new robes when you cast it. WARNING: Some spells, namely most of the hand ones (Smite, Flesh to Stone, Scream for Me) aren't granted reduced cooldowns. However, casting these doesn't drain blood either.	N/A	2
Exsanguinating Strike	SHAPSDAY	Casting this spell will give whatever weapon you're holding (anything that deals melee damage works) a red glow, increasing its damage, healing you for the damage done, and using some blood from your target to refill your own. This spell does not benefit from Splattercasting's cooldown reduction.	60 / 50 / 40 / 30 / 20	2
Untie Shoes	Acetato!, Agaletto!	This unassuming spell first unties, then knots the target's shoes. Upgrading this spell makes it stronger instead of reducing its' cooldown: 2 points > Laceless Untie Shoes - "You will now summon laces on laceless shoes, such as jackboots." 3 points > Prankster's Untie Shoes - "You will now summon shoes if your target has none." 4 points > Sneakerly Untie Shoes - "Your invocations are now silent!"	3	1
Defensive Evocations
Smoke	N/A	A large shroud of smoke. It can hide the wizard, and makes people in it cough causing them to drop items.	12 / 9.5 / 7 / 4.5 / 2	1
Forcewall	TARCOL MINTI ZHERI!	Prevents the simpletons from traveling over a 1x3 area. The wall lasts 30 seconds and are indestructible. The caster can pass freely through it.	10 / 8.7 / 7.5 / 6.2 / 5	1
Bind Soul	NECREM IMORTIUM!	A dark necromantic pact that can forever bind your soul to an item of your choosing. That item becomes your phylactory and changes color. You should hide it somewhere on the station. As long as both your body and the item remain intact and on the same plane you will revive from death after some time, even if your body is completely destroyed. The time between reincarnations grows steadily with use. Binding your soul turns you into a skeleton. The crew might call you a "lich", even though such race does not exist. When revived you get a new set of wizard robe and hat. People can somewhat track your phylactory by following the direction of the particle effect that comes from your body when you revive.	N/A	2
Chuuni Invocations	By`the`decree`of`the`dark`lord, `I`invoke`the`curse`of`the`chuuni. `Let`all`my`spells`be`tainted`by`the`power`of`delusion. `O,`Reality! `Bend`to`my`will!"	This replaces your wizard hat (if you have one) with an unremovable medical eyepatch, which still allows you to cast spells requiring a robe. Aditionally, it changes the spellwords you usually say for incantations, and each spell cast heals you for a small amount every time	N/A	2
Bestow Cursed Duffel Bag	HU'SWCH H'ANS!!	A melee range curse that firmly attaches a demonic duffel bag to the target's back, knocking them down for a few seconds. Inflicts its victim with pacifism and clumsiness. The duffel bag will make the person it's attached to take periodical damage if it is not fed regularly. Regardless of whether or not it's been fed it will slow the person wearing it down significantly. The bag can be poisoned by feeding it burned messes.	6 / 5 / 4 / 3 / 2	1
Magical Transportation
Mind Swap	GIN'YU CAPAN!	Swaps the minds of the wizard and victim, best used if the wizard is being beaten in a physical battle. Mindswap targets will be unconscious for quite some time. Only works at melee range. Does not work on cultists, revolutionaries, changelings, petrified people or summoned demons.	60 / 50 / 40 / 30 / 20	2
Knock	AULIE OXIN FIERA!	Opens any doors within range, no matter what type. Also opens bolted doors and locked closets.	10 / 8 / 6 / 4 / 2	1
Swap	FRO'`BRT'TRO,`DA!	Swaps your position with that of any target within 9 tiles. You can also right click someone else to select them as the secondary swap target, in which case you'll go to the position occupied by your primary target, they'll go to the one occupied by your secondary, and your secondary will end up where you originally were.	30 / 23.7 / 17.5 / 11.2 / 5	1
Assistance and Summoning
Instant Summons (aka Summon Item)	GAR YOK	Allows you to mark an item. After this, you can use the spell to summon that item to your hand whenever you want. Vital when you plan to use a magic staff, or you'll end up getting it stolen from you. If the item is within a container, the whole container will be teleported to you.	10	1
Charge	DI'RI CEL!	Recharges one item held in your hand. Useful for recharging magical artifacts that typically run dry after a few shots. They've also been used in the past by enterprising wizards to recharge other things like energy weapons, spellbooks, and even other wizards (drag your fellow wizard and use the spell)! Care should be used in over-reliance on this ability though, as magical items tend to run down if repeatedly recharged.	60 / 55 / 50 / 45 / 40	1
Wild Shapeshift	RAC'WA NO!	Allows you to choose an animal form. You can choose between a mouse (can ventcrawl), a corgi, a chaos magicarp, an ED209 bot, or a juggernaut. Once you choose your form you won't be able to pick the others; you can swap to this form and back to human by using the spell.	20 / 16.2 / 12.5 / 8.7 / 5	1

Artifacts

These are not spells but tools that can be used by anyone. Extremely dangerous to a wizard should one of the crew members pick them up.
Magical staves, swords and hammers generally never fit in backpacks or bags, and must be worn in the back slot. Remember you need a hand free to be able to use the scroll of teleportation to get to the station. You can not use the teleport spell to get to the station.

Icon	Artifact name	Description	Cost
Deadly Evocations
	Staff of Change	Allows the wizard to randomly change anyone and anything into an alien, slime, lizardman, cyborg, syndicate cyborg, monkey, or more! Holds up to 6 charges, and recharges one every 4 seconds. Using this staff as a non-wizard has a backfire effect, instantly shapeshifting the wielder. Transformations into cyborgs and xenos are disabled on backfires.	2
	Staff of Chaos	Shoots random magic bolts. Holds up to 10 charges, and recharges one every 2 seconds. Using this staff as a non-wizard has a 5% chance to back fire onto the wielder. Chaos!	2
	Staff of Shrinking	An artefact that can shrink anything for a reasonable duration. Small structures can be walked over, and small people are very vulnerable (often because their armour no longer fits). Holds up to 10 charges, and recharges one every 5 seconds.	2
	Spellblade	A fairly robust sword with 50% block chance, that can shoot out magic bolts that deal 15 fire damage with some armor penetration that have a high chance of dismembering the limbs it's aimed at. Holds up to 4 charges, and recharges one every 4 seconds.	2
	Mjolnir	The mighty hammer of Thor. Striking your foes with it will send them flying away from you while also stunning them 1.5 seconds and knocking them down 10 seconds. Can be thrown to achieve the same effect.	2
	Singularity Hammer	A hammer that creates a powerful gravitational field around its target, pulling everything towards it on hit.	2
	High Frequency Blade	An incredibly powerful two-handed blade that can attack extremely, EXTREMELY quickly. It does 10 damage by default, but if you click different parts of the same target (like the top left corner and then the bottom right) it can deal way more, up to 45.	3
	Frog Contract	Sign a pact with the frogs to have your own destructive pet guardian! After picking a name and color, grants you a frog statue. Upon use, will free the giant leaper inside of it that will attack anyone in sight besides yourself. Beware that their AOE attacks and Poison Bubbles will still affect you. After recharging, you may use the frog statue again to re-capture the leaper. You may press Alt+Click on the leaper in melee range to open a radial that allows you to command it. You may also use vocal commands and even ride your leaper.	2
Defensive Evocations
	Staff of Healing	Shoots bolts that can fully heal the living and resurrect the dead. Holds up to 6 charges, and recharges one every 8 seconds. Does not work on yourself. Healing bolts work in reverse on the undead, meaning they instantly kill them rather than healing and resurrecting them. Using this staff as a non-wizard weakens the staff's powers to a beam of healing rather than a resurrection bolt.	1
	Staff of the Locker	A staff that shoots arcane lockers. It eats anyone it hits on its way, leaving a magically sealed locker with your victims behind. Holds up to 6 charges, and recharges one every 4 seconds. Anyone trapped inside will have to RESIST to escape which can take a while to free themselves.	2
	Scrying Orb	Summoning this crackling orb of energy will grant you X-ray vision and the 6th Sense, allowing you to hear the ghosts chattering. You will lose this powers if it ever leaves your inventory, however. Additionally, it allows you to ghost while alive, letting you speak with any dead souls personally and allowing you to float around as one. A deceptively powerful tool for spying, essential for the elusive stealth wizard. Don't forget about your body while you're pondering your orb, though!	2
	Wand Assortment	A belt that comes with one of each useful wand; unlike staves, they do not regenerate their shots and can self-target.	2
	Mastercrafted Armor Set	A magic-gem-encrusted MODsuit, it functions the same as normal wizard robes, plus being space-worthy and armored. Minor slowdown. Now you can cast spells in space and low temperature places! This also possesses a built in magical barrier that deflects the first 16 attacks against the user.	2
	Battlemage Armour Charges	A powerful defensive rune, it will grant eight additional charges to the shield function of a Wizard MODsuit.	1
Magical Transportation
	Staff of Door Creation	Shoots bolts that transform walls into open doors made of a random material. There is apparently a high demand for door creation! Holds up to 10 charges, and recharges one every 2 seconds. Bolts that come into contact with airlocks will force them open regardless of access.	1
	Telegram Scepter	A magical rod that teleports you to the location you point it. Using it puts you in a state of flux, removing some of your reagents and causing you to take 15 brute damage from further uses until you stabilize once more. Grabbing this scepter as a non-wizard leaves you in a state of flux.	2
	Warp Whistle	A strange whistle that will transport you to a distant safe place on the station. There is a window of vulnerability at the begining of every use. The sound it makes when played is distinct and somewhat loud.	1
Assistance and Summoning
	Staff of Animation	A deadly weapon for a wizard who likes to steamroll their opposition. The staff of animation will shoot a bolt that brings whatever object it hits (besides complex machinery, tables or windows) to life. The animated object will then move and attack everyone in range but the person who spawned it (which is hopefully you). In combination with the Flesh to Stone spell, the Staff of Animation can be used to create player-controlled statues. These statues have a wide selection of unique powers (of the "MY EYES!" variety), are near-invincible and receive explicit instructions to not harm or kill the Wizard. However, these statues may also blind you. Holds up to 6 charges, and recharges one every 4 seconds.	2
	Scepter of Vendormancy	A scepter containing the Power of Runic Vendormancy. It can summon up to 3 Runic Vendors that decay over time, but can be throw around to squash oponents or be directly detonated. Use it in-hand to restore all charges over a long channel."	2
	Soulstone Shard Kit	A belt filled with 6 purple soulstone shards that can can be used to trap and enslave the spirits of your friends! You also gain the spell Artificer, which lets you spawn a shell every 60 seconds. Unlike other artifacts, this cannot be used by the crew. Unlike cult constructs, wizard constructs are colored purple rather than red, so don't expect to dupe the crew into thinking there's a cult.	2
	Necromantic Stone	This stone will allows you to raise dead people as skeletal thralls. Using it does not deplete the stone, but you can only have up to 3 active thralls at a time.	2
	Contract of Apprenticeship	A magical contract binding an apprentice wizard to your service, using it will summon them to your side. Using this contract will send a prompt to ghost who have wizard enabled as a role: should any answer yes, after 15 seconds you will find yourself with a brand new alcolyte. Should they answer no, or if there are no ghosts at the moment, you can try again later or refund the contract by clicking the spellbook with it. If you do keep yours around note that contracts can be used by non-wizards too. When you use the contract you are able to choose from four sets of two spells for the apprentice to learn. Destruction: Fireball + Magic Missile Bluespace Manipulation: Jaunt + Teleport Robeless: Knock + Mindswap Healing: Forcewall + Charge/Staff of Healing Once they have chosen a name, the spawned apprentice is given a set of blue robes, a single-use teleport scroll and an objective to keep you alive.	2
	Guardian Deck	A deck of tarot cards, capable of binding a personal guardian to your body. There are multiple types of guardian available, but all of them will transfer some amount of damage to you. It would be wise to avoid buying these with anything capable of causing you to swap bodies with others. Types of guardian: Assassin: Does medium damage and takes full damage, but can enter stealth, causing its next attack to do massive damage and ignore armor. However, it becomes briefly unable to recall after attacking from stealth. Gaseous: Can expel its choice of gas into the atmosphere, from the benign options of O2, N2, and CO2, to the annoying BZ (which causes hallucinations) and H2O (which makes the floor slippery), to the incredibly dangerous options of N2O (knocks people out!) or Plasma (toxic and flammable!). Its punches cause sparks (VERY dangerous combined with plasma) and it automatically keeps it's users temperature stable and extinguishes them. Charger: Moves extremely fast, does medium damage on attack, and can charge at targets, damaging the first target hit and forcing them to drop any items they are holding. Dexterous: Does low damage on attack, but is capable of holding items and storing a single item within it. It will drop items held in its hands when it recalls, but it will retain the stored item. Explosive: High damage resist and medium power attack that may explosively teleport targets. Can turn any object, including objects too large to pick up, into a bomb, dealing explosive damage to the next person to touch it. The object will return to normal after the trap is triggered or after a delay. Gravitokinetic: Attacks will apply a field of heavy gravity on the target, slowing them and making them drop held items. Can alt-click ground to manually place heavy gravity fields. Recalling or moving over 10 tiles away from the fields will remove them. Lightning: Attacks apply lightning chains to targets. Has a lightning chain to the user. Lightning chains shock everything near them, doing constant damage. Protector: Causes you to teleport to it when out of range, unlike other parasites. Has two modes; Combat, where it does and takes medium damage, and Protection, where it does and takes almost no damage but moves slightly slower. Ranged: Has two modes. Ranged; which fires a constant stream of weak, armor-ignoring projectiles. Scout; Cannot attack, but can move through walls and is quite hard to see. Can lay surveillance snares, which alert it when crossed, in either mode. Standard: Devastating close combat attacks and high damage resist. Can smash through weak walls.	2
	Bottle of Blood	This bottle of blood, when broken, will attract a Slaughter Demon, which can bloodcrawl and will kill indiscriminately. It does not serve you and it'll try to kill you if it gets the chance, but it can decimate an unarmed crew. Maximum of 3.	2
	Bottle of Tickles	This bottle of tickles, when broken, will attract a Laughter Demon. It will try to prank the crew (and you) by tickling them to submission. The only effective difference from a slaughter demon is that when killed it will revive all of the corpses it has eaten, because it was just a prank, bro. Maximum of 3.	1

Magical Items

Wands and Spell Books may be obtained by the crew through the Summon Magic Event, but the Wands also come in the Wand Assortment.

Wands, unlike Staves, do not recharge over time. They can be recharged with the Charge spell, but every recharge the Wand has a high chance to reduce the max number of charges by one. If the max charges on a Wand reaches zero, the Wand becomes useless and cannot be recharged anymore. For most Wands, careful management of charges should allow a smart Wizard to get the max amount of uses out of their Wands as well as avoid Wand burnout for a very long time.

Also unlike Staves, Wands can be used to self-target the user (they're short enough to turn around to point back at you). Useful with a wand like the Wand of Healing or Teleportation, maybe less useful with a Wand of Death.

These Spell Books are one-use and everyone that reads them subsequently will instead trigger a recoil effect, usually harming the reader.

Wands		Charges
Wand of Death:	Can and will kill anything instantly. Nasty, nasty stuff. Using this on undead creatures (skeletons, zombies) will instantly heal/revive them rather than killing them.	3
Wand of Healing:	This wand uses healing magics to heal the living and revive the dead. Rarely utilized on others, for some reason. Using this on undead creatures (skeletons, zombies) will instantly kill them rather than healing them.	10
Wand of Polymorph:	For when you just need a change. Be careful if using on yourself, as many potential forms lack arms to wield the wand!	10
Wand of Teleportation:	Will rip up and scatter anyone or anything caught in its path. The range of teleportation is short and unpredictable similar to the Blink spell. Unlike teleportation spells employed by the wizard, this wand makes no qualms about depositing teleportees in space, fires, or the center of a black hole.	10
Wand of Door Creation:	For when you need an easy way out. Point at a solid wall and fire -- who needs ID cards in this day and age? The projectile will also open any airlock it comes into contact with, if you feel like using the door that's already there.	20
Wand of Fireball:	Useful for burning those you don't like and everyone else too. Point away from face.	8
Wand of Shrinking	This wand shrinks structures, allowing you to walk around (read: through) them, and people down for 60-90 seconds, which makes their clothes drop, as well as become slower and squashable. Don't shoot it against yourself, unless you want to become a little gremlin forever.	10
Books		Recoil Effect
Book of Smoke	This book is overflowing with the dank arts. Teaches its first reader Smoke.	Makes the user extremely hungry.
Book of Sacred Flame	Become one with the flames that burn within... and invite others to do so as well. Teaches its first reader Sacred Flame. Sacred flame ignites you and those around you on fire, get protective gear.	Glows ominously, but does nothing.
Book of Mindswap	This book's cover is pristine, though its pages look ragged and torn. Teaches its first reader Mind Swap.	Does nothing to the first user; when a second user reads it, the users' minds will be swapped.
Book of Knock	This book is hard to hold closed properly. Teaches its first reader Knock.	User is knocked down for a long time.
Book of Forcewall	This book has a dedication to mimes everywhere inside the front cover. Teaches its first reader Forcewall.	User is petrified for a minute.
Book of Instant Summon	This book is bright and garish, very hard to miss. Teaches its first reader Instant Summon.	The book vanishes.
Book of Fireball	This book feels warm to the touch. Teaches its first reader Fireball.	Causes an explosion centered on the user.
Book of Charging	This book is made of 100% post-consumer wizard. Teaches its first reader Charge.	Emits a short-ranged EMP pulse.
Book of Blind	This book looks blurry, no matter how you look at it. Teaches its first reader Blind.	User is blinded for some time.
Book of Barnyard Curse	This book is more horse than your mind has room for. Teaches its first reader the Barnyard Curse.	Casts the Barnyard Curse on the user.
Lusty Xenomorph Maid vol. III - Cheese Bakery	This book may be found in one of the bookcases at the Wizard's Den. Does not spawn with the Summon Magic Event. Teaches its first reader Summon Cheese.	The book turns into a wedge of cheese.

Challenges

A few challenges that, in theory, would grant you additional points for an extra difficulty, but have been locked away by the Wizard Federation for your own good.

Friendly Wizard Scum - 2 points
A "Friendly" Wizard will protect the station, and try to kill you. They get a spellbook much like you, but will use it for "GOOD".

Multiverse Sword - 2 points
The Station gets a multiverse sword to stop you. Can you withstand the hordes of multiverse realities?

Rituals

Rituals are powerful, one-time use spell that can only be cast from your spellbook on your ship. These are generally either completely pointless or detrimental to the crew (and you) in some way or another; their true purpose lies in causing PURE, UNTAMED CHAOS.

Invocation	Description	Cost
Curse of Madness	Using this curses the station, warping the minds of everyone inside, causing lasting traumas (you can send a message with it too as the catalyst). These traumas are usually pulled from the regular list, but there are a couple of unique magical traumas only found by using this spell.	4
Summon Ghosts	Spook the crew out by making them see dead people. Be warned, ghosts are capricious and occasionally vindictive, and some will use their incredibly minor abilities to frustrate you.	0
Summon Guns	A strong spell that can be used only once. Summons a random weapon at everyone's feet (excluding the feet belonging to you or any apprentices), arming the crew to fight you and alerting them of your presence. A portion of the crew will become antagonists with a survival/steal guns objective, causing chaos as the crew fights one another. Disabled on dynamic mode except on maximum threat level.	2
Summon Magic	Grants the crew an assortment of various trinkets from the legendary wizard self storage box. The assortment is wide and varies wildly in usefulness, but will always alert the crew of your presence and can make them a dangerous threat to you. Similarly to Summon Guns, this spell will make part of the crew antagonists with a survival/steal magic objective. Disabled on dynamic mode except on maximum threat level.	2
Summon Events	Replaces all random events with an assortment of magical wizard events, from cursed items to random name-swaps to LAVA FLOORS and more! Subject the station to a storm of mass chaos! The more times you cast Summon Events, the more often they will occur. Disabled on dynamic mode except on maximum threat level.	2

Wiznerd Events

The big bad list of all the devious magical events that replace the usual random events on the station. These happen upon purchasing the Summon Events ritual at least once, and their frequency increases with each purchase. These also may occur as one of the forced random events when completing an invocation at a Grand Ritual Rune.

Special Events	Prompt	Effects	Chance
Blobies	None	All human corpses turn into non-sentient Blob Zombies.	Average
Change Faces	None	All sentient beings (including the wizard) swap their faces randomly.	High
Change Minds	None	All sentient beings (except for the wizard) swap their minds randomly. An assistant can have his mind swapped with the captain, antags are carried along with the mind, but if you're a changeling, you're sort of boned.	Very Low
Change Places	None	All sentient beings swap places randomly (if they are in the station).	Low
Cursed Items	None	Cursed Katanas, Fake Wizard Robes, LSD Laced Cigarettes, Boxing Gloves, Luchador Masks, Chameleon Masks, and Cat Ears are distributed among the crew.	Average
Department Revolt	The nation of [nation] has been formed. Affected jobs are [message]	You are a separatist! [nation] forever! Protect the sovereignty of your newfound land with your comrades in arms! A random department (greytide, medbay, engineering, science, cargo, or civilian) secedes from the station. OH CARGONIA...	Very Low
Embedpocalypse	None	Everything, everywhere, becomes sticky and will stick to anyone it hits.	Low
Fake Explosion	None	Nuclear alarms go off, makes everyone shit their pants.	Extremely Low
Greentext	The mythical greentext appear at your feet! Pick it up if you dare...	Anyone who picks up the greentext gains an objective to escape alive while carrying the greentext. Problem is, the greentext is absolutely gargantuan and weighs a literal ton.	High
Indentity Spoof	None	Everyone gets random wizard names, including the wizard. Will the real wizard please stand up?	Average
Imposter	None	A fake, identical body double to the real wizard spawns. Can cast fake spells to confuse and scare the crew.	Very Low
Improved Casting	None	The cooldown of a single spell for the Wizard is decreased as if that spell had been taken again.	Average
Invincible	None	A random humanoid is injected with 40 units of adminordrazine, making them invincible for 100 ticks.	Average
Lava	Warning: You feel the ground beneath you getting hot. Waves of heat distort the air. Start: The floor is lava! Get on top of something! End: The ground cools and returns to its usual form.	The ground turns into surprisingly cool lava, lightly damaging anything on the floor. Flood the station with plasma for optimal effect.	Low
Magicarp	Unknown magical entities have been detected near [station_name()], please stand-by.	Magicarps and Chaos Magicarps are spawned around the station	Very Low
Petsplosion	None	The bane of every HOP, animals around the station start to randomly gib.	Low
Possession	You suddenly feel a welling of new spooky powers...	Ghosts become visible to the crew, and can possess objects and spook people.	Low
Race	You feel somehow... different?	Everyone turns into a random different species. Very unfortunate if you happen to turn into a Plasmaman.	Low
RPG Loot	None	All items get a snazzy little pronoun which either buffs or nerfs the item. Items can be buffed by using an item fortification scroll.	Average
Robeless Casting	None	The wizard can now cast all of his spells without any of his robes.	Low
Summon Guns	None	Everyone get guns, some get a survival objective.	Very Low
Summon Magic	None	Everyone gets a wand, some get an objective to steal magical items.	Very Low
Tower of Babel	You feel a magical force affecting your speech patterns!	The wizard gains knowledge of every language. Everyone else is cursed and forgets all languages but are given a single randomized one as a replacement.	Average

Your typical wizard events round.

Magical Traumas

These Brain Traumas only appear when you (the wizard) cast the Curse of Madness ritual before heading to the station. There is a 20% chance that a person will have a Magical Trauma rather than a mild/severe/special trauma.

Name	Effect	Warning Message	Scan Message
Athaumasia	Gives the victim an immunity to magical effects and projectiles. Mind over magic, baby.	You realize that magic cannot be real.	Thaumic Blank
Lumiphobia	Makes the victim hyper-sensitive to light, causing them to burn when exposed to anything more than a dim glow.	You feel a craving for darkness. The light burns you!	Light Hypersensitivity
Poltergeist	The victim is haunted by a poltergeist that will aggressively throw objects in the area towards him/her.	You feel a hateful presence close to you.	Paranormal Activity
Stalking Phantom	An dark presence that only the victim can see stalks and ruthlessly mutilates the victim with ghostly claws once it has caught up to him/her. Unrelated side effects include intense paranoia and a feeling of being stalked.	You feel like something wants to kill you... It's coming closer...	Extra-sensory Paranoia

The Grand Ritual

The Grand Ritual is an ability all wizards start with, functioning as something of an alternate win condition if you don't like your objectives and don't have any better idea for how to antagonist the crew. By creating 7 magic circles in specific points of the station, a Wizard can gather the power to unleash a round-changing effect.

Each ritual must be performed in a specific location on the space station, listed on your objectives panel. Clicking the grand ritual action button while not stood in this location will give you a rough idea of what direction you need to go in order to reach that area.

Once you have reached your ritual location using the action button will draw a rune on the ground which will handily obliterate any obstacles covering it up (or less handily, if you're stood next to several tanks of plasma). Clicking on the rune will being the ritual, a three-step process where each step ends with you speaking part of an incantation. The time each step takes is longer for each full ritual you have successfully completed (capping after 7). Performing the ritual leaves you somewhat helpless, but you can interrupt yourself and pick up at the last step you completed if someone turns up to stop you.

Completing a ritual will do three things:

1. It will point you to the next area you must travel to in order to perform the next ritual.
2. It will trigger some kind of (usually harmful or annoying) event for the space station to deal with, which includes some of the events usually only available from the Wizard Events ritual. The severity of the events will increase with the number of rituals you do, so while your first ritual may summon a hallucinogenic anomaly the sixth could trigger the arrival of a Space Dragon.
3. It will trigger a random minor effect localised to the room you are in, with examples being that it might fill the room with lube, transform the area into gold, or summon a random (probably annoyed) crew member to your position from wherever else they happen to be at the time.

After you have completed 3 rituals your location will begin to be announced on the radio whenever you place a new circle, so expect people to come and interfere with you.

Grand Finale

The seventh ritual is special, this is where you will use all of the power collected by the previous rituals to do something which effects the final station in a finale event sort of like a traitor's final objective. Once you have placed the circle you will be able to pick an effect of your choice from a list of options below. Completing an extended-length ritual will unleash the effect you have chosen, and everyone will have to deal with it.

Name	Effect	Prerequisites
Armageddon	This ritual takes extra time to complete, and instantly kills you upon completion. Once finished, it will summon a singularity at your location, or a tesla ball, or create permanent waves of meteors until the round ends.	90 minutes elapsed round time
Connection	Casts a superpowered version of the "Knock" spell. This unbolts all of the station's doors and then removes all access requirements from them, allowing anyone to go anywhere they want.	None
Evolution	Triggers the Wizard Event "Summon Magic". This creates random magical artifacts at the feet of every player, and gives some of them an objective to collect as many as possible.	None
Jubilation	Alter the past so that the station has always retroactively been a Clown Research Station instead of a normal Research Station. Dresses every crewmember in a magical clown suit, which they can use to produce random clown items every so often. Pre-existing clowns gain the ability to use this spell regardless of outfit. Any crew who are Clown Fans gain a permanent mood buff, other crewmembers have a chance to gain an objective to kill you in an attempt to correct the timeline.	None
Transformation	Slowly converts the entire space station into a randomly selected different material. This might be gold, wood, meat, or pizza.	None
Usurpation	Alter the past such that you (the wizard) have always been the official Captain of the space station. Informs every player that you are the legally appointed Captain, gives you an all-access ID and Captain's outfit, and demotes any existing Captains into Assistants (teleporting them to random Maintenance locations). Any former Captains and some random crewmembers may be given an objective to kill you in an attempt to correct the timeline.	None
Continuation	Summons a random event as normal.	None

After performing the seventh ritual you can keep doing more to spawn random events if you choose.

Loadouts

The moment you are spotted, comms will be flooded with announcements about your presence and those pesky rats will come right after you. Any good Wizard will have already prepared themselves with their own thought-out loadout with a mix of offense and defense, or a specific gimmick. If you're reading this, you probably don't have a clue of what you're doing, but we've got your back.

You will find that your spell book has a total of 10 points, so use them wisely.

Wizard Approved Loadouts

The Wizard Federation offers you a few loadouts to choose from without having to make many decisions. You may find them in the Wizard Approved Loadouts section of your spell book.

The Classic Wizard

• Fireball (2)
• Magic Missile (2)
• Smite (2)
• 2x Ethereal Jaunt (4)

This is the classic wizard, crazy popular in the 2550's. The key here is that every part of this kit is very easy to pick up and use.

Added by Archchancellor Gray.

Mjolnir's Power

• Mjolnir (2)
• Summon Item (1)
• Mutate (2)
• Forcewall (1)
• Blink (2)
• Tesla Blast (2)

The power of the mighty Mjolnir! Best not to lose it. Mutate is your utility in this case: use it for limited ranged fire and getting out of bad blinks.

Added by Jegudiel Worldshaker.

Fantastical Army

• Soulstone Belt (2)
• Staff of Change (2)
• Necromantic Stone (2)
• Teleport (2)
• Ethereal Jaunt (2)

Why kill when others will gladly do it for you?! Remember, no offense spells!

Added by Prospero Spellstone.

Soul Trapper

• Soul Tap (1)
• Smite (2)
• Flesh to Stone (2)
• Mindswap (2)
• Knock (1)
• Teleport (2)

Embrace the dark, and tap into your soul. You can recharge very long recharge spells like Smite by jumping into new bodies with Mind Swap and starting Soul Tap anew.

Added by Tom the Empty.

Popular Loadouts

If you ever feel bored and the Wizard Approved Loadouts don't seem all that interesting, we've got some robust, gimmicky suggestions for you.

The Murderboner

• Fireball (2) OR Mjolnir and Instant Summons (2+1)
• Time Stop (2)
• Ethereal Jaunt (2) OR Rod Form (2)
• The Traps (1)
• 2-3 points left.

Become every pacifist's biggest fear. Heavily oriented around attacking the crew, you suffer from very little defensive spells, thus relying on being robust enough to kill before being killed. The last few points can again go to either doubling up on suggested spells or adding others of your choice.

The Survivalist

• Fireball (2) OR Mutate (2)
• Blink (2)
• Ethereal Jaunt (2)
• Warp Whistle (1)
• The Traps (1)
• 2 points left.

If you don't care about killing but instead want to simply survive, this loadout gives you a lot of mobility and defense. You'll be very difficult to pin down, but your offensive powers will be lacking. If you want to become even more unstoppable, consider taking Wand Assortment + Charge for the on-demand full heal, which can be very frustrating to deal with.

The Stealth Wizard

• Fireball (2)
• Knock (1)
• Wild Shapeshift (1)
• 4x Untie Shoes (4)
• 4 points left.

Playing as a Stealth Wizard can be risky, but very fun. The core of it is to be undistinguishable from a normal crewmember, so pick a believable name and try to immediately rush to find some clothes, then come up with an excuse to ask for a new ID. Wild Shapeshift allows you to ventcrawl as a mouse, for extra stealthiness, and Untie Shoes level 4 allows you to cast it without invocation, for the memes. Learn some robeless spells with your remaining points, or drag your robes around in your backpack and have some robed spells in your back pocket.

Wizard Gang

• 2 Contracts of Apprenticeship (4)
• 1 Guardian Deck (2)
• 1 Frog Contract (2)
• 1 Soulstone Belt (2)

If you don't have friends, this is the loadout for you. Despite not having a single spell, you will have a lot of dangerous, loyal company to help you achieve your goals.

Space Asshole

• Summon Events x5

Did you know that your wizard ship has a camera console from which you can watch the station? You'll be using it a lot with this loadout. Observing the events of the round through your camera console shouldn't get too boring, though, because the level 5 version of Summon Events causes an event EVERY MINUTE and YOU can watch the resulting chaos from the comfort of your own ship, but don't be surprised if the adminbus rolls up and starts messing with you! And everybody else in the round will probably hate you. But hey, you're the wizard, right?

Cancermancer

• Flesh to Stone (2)
• Mind Swap (2)
• Staff of Animation (2)
• Fireball (2)
• 2x Bottle of Tickles (2)

A reference to Jackriip's Cancermancer video. Use Flesh to Stone on a random crew, animate their statue, and then mindswap with it. Abuse the robustness of living statues and play around with fireball. Eventually, you can also mindswap with one of your Demons.

Randomize

If you don't feel like picking a loadout, you may find two unrefundable options in the Arcane Randomizer section of the spell book:

Semi-Randomize! - This loadout will ensure you at least get some mobility and lethality. Guaranteed to have 12 points worth of spells.

Full Random! - This loadout will give you anything. A bigger risk for a bigger reward. Guaranteed to have 15 points worth of spells.

Perks

Not all Witchcraft is spells and rituals. You can acquire passive sorceries from the Perks section of the spell book to aid your spellcasting.

Déjà vu - Every 60 seconds returns you to the place where you were 60 seconds ago with the same amount of health as you had 60 seconds ago.

Four Hands - Gives you even more hands to perform magic.

Gamble - You get 2 random perks.

Heart Eater - Gives you ability to obtain a person's life force by eating their heart, increasing your damage resistance or gaining a random mutation. This also gives a strong healing buff.

Magnetism - You get a small gravity anomaly that orbit around you. Nearby things will be attracted to you.

Slime Friends - Slimes are your friends. Every 15 seconds you lose some nutriments and summon a random evil slime to fight on your side.

Spells Lottery - Spells Lottery gives you the chance to get something from the book absolutely free, but you can no longer refund any purchases.

Transparence - You become a little closer to the world of the dead. Projectiles pass through you, but you lose 25% of your health and you are hunted by a terrible curse which wants to return you to the afterlife.

Worm Born - Your soul is infested with mana worms. When you die, you will be reborn as a large worm. When the worm dies, it has no such luck. Parasitic infection prevents you from binding your soul to objects.

Tips

• It's a very, very good idea to grab some defensive equipment ASAP when you arrive on the station. Sunglasses will make you nearly impervious to Asimov Cyborgs, and insulated gloves are highly recommended for when the AI is inevitably subverted to try and kill you.
• While knocked down, you can still cast most of your spells, with a few exceptions: Jaunt will make you invulnerable, but you won't move until the stun runs out, and touch-based spells like disintegrate will need you to attack the target.
• Someone in the "Unconscious" state can be instantly Soul sharded, regardless of health. Anyone under 50% HP can be KO'd by a briefcase with 100% reliability. See that assistant that burned himself to shit on the door? Briefcase bonk, shard.
• Suicide bombing is a very easy way to kill a wizard but may get you banned if you fuck up. The general rule of thumb is, if you miss, you're gone. Welderbombings can also knock the wizard out if he's not very good.
• Removing a wizard's hat or robes will often render him completely impotent, as very, VERY few wizards carry spare hats in their backpack. Acid or fire smoke grenades work well for stripping their hats. Muzzling them also makes them unable to cast most spells if you can actually hold down a wizard long enough.
• The Staff of Animation can animate holographic objects. They retain their 'force' and do not disappear when they leave the holodeck/the holodeck is shut off. So you can load up the thunder dome simulation over and over for infinite E-sword buddies.
• Wizard EMP shocks doors, so you should not better use doors as wizard, after you use EMP skill. Also the staff of animation is even more OP than Veil Render, just use it on knifes, hatchets and other items of big robustness. Combine this with EMPing security guys, which approach you and mutating in hulk, when you see guys with syringe guns (however, if chemist is not mainstream and deploys lexorin or unstable mutagen, you would get outrobusted) for greater effects.
• The Wizard's Knock spell opens bolted doors too.
• The Staff of Change works on AIs.
• Mindswap does not work on megafauna.

Specific Spell Tips

• Summon Ghosts can be fun, but the ghosts can very easily tell the crew where you are. Strongly consider not casting it if you want any level of stealth; likewise, Slaughter Demons and other stealth antags really hate when the ghost court blatantly outs them.
• Although the most popular and reliable offensive spells are usually Fireball, Mutate and Mjolnir, a number of other options exist. Smite is a long cooldown, melee range instant-kill, Lesser Summon Guns gives you infinite rifles on demand, Arcane Barrage is a magical variant of LSG, Lightning Bolt trades Fireball's raw killing potential for area stuns, the Spellblade can easily remove limbs, the Singularity Hammer is just as powerful as Mjolnir with the caveat of pulling enemies in instead of launching them away, and Spell Cards is a slightly underwhelming Touhou joke.
• The Staff of Animation lets you bring objects and machines to life. The deadlier the object is as a melee weapon, the more devastating its damage, although your creations tend to be low-health and short-lived. For even better results, combine it with Flesh to Stone to turn crewmembers into loyal, murderous statues!
• Disable Tech, like any EMP, can be extremely effective if you know when and where to use it. Shut down cyborgs, fuck with APCs, mess with doors, and instantly drain the power of stun batons, flashes and energy guns! Just make sure to turn your headset back on afterwards.
• Likewise, Repulse is a highly underrated spell in its simplicity. Just being able to launch attackers away can give you enough time to finish recharging an escape spell, and if you're lucky, you might launch objects into people with enough force to embed them into their bodies.
• If you want to mess with the crew and don't want to outright murder them, some fun gimmick spells include Staff of the Locker, Curse of the Barnyard and Staff of Change. The Staff of Change in particular can be a lot of fun, since anybody you involuntarily transform is allowed to act as an antagonist; there's always the risk of your targets turning into xenomorphs and slimes that immediately try to kill you, but you might also create a huge problem for the crew.
• Lesser Summon Bees is an inherently comical spell that has the chance of filling your foes with horrific, debilitating toxins, but the bees are just as likely to go after you. Consider combining it with the Gem-Encrusted Hardsuit, which makes you sting-immune.
• The Wand Assortment is an extremely powerful option, provided you can manage using so many items. For only 2 points, you get wands that cast Fireball, Create Door, Teleport Other, Heal (!!), Polymorph, and Instant Death (!!!). You can add the Charge spell for a third point, granting you a large number of casts of each. For reference, the combined costs of buying every spell individually would be 8. Remember you can zap yourself with the wands, and make sure nobody steals them!
• Mind Swap can be risky, since it leaves both you and your target stunned for a duration, but pulling off a successful swap can let you completely juke the crew. For best results, try to use it when you're losing a melee 1v1, and nobody else is around to interfere.
• Bind Soul effectively gives you extra lives for as long as nobody finds your phylactery. Hide it somewhere remote, ideally in another container, and consider moving it around between revivals as long as you won't be caught with it on your person. Also keep in mind that you become a skeleton, making you immune to temperature, pressure, chemicals and more, but revoking your humanity in the eyes of the AI and making it harder to heal yourself.
• Instant Summons can technically be used on any item; if you really want to run a gimmick wizard built around, say, killing people with a fire axe, keep it in mind.
• The Scrying Orb lets you talk to deadchat, effectively letting you listen to OOC conversations on the round, which alone makes it extremely powerful for learning about other antagonists. If you're really bored, you can also ask the ghosts for ideas on what spells to take, or just ask for wizard tips if you're new.
• Curse of Madness is effectively a round-wide "fuck you" button that can scramble the brains of the crew and generally make a lot of people salty. For best results, think of something witty to use as your curse, though keep in mind nobody who hears it is obliged to listen if it includes a command.

---

...Now, fearless follower of the Wizards Space Federation..

I have but one question for you, now that I revealed all this knowledge to you,

Will you be ready?

With Love,

The QuarterWizard

Jobs on /tg/station
	Command	Captain, Head of Personnel, Head of Security, Chief Engineer, Research Director, Chief Medical Officer, Quartermaster, Bridge Assistant
	Security	Head of Security, Security Officer, Warden, Detective, Veteran Security Advisor, Prisoner
	Engineering	Chief Engineer, Station Engineer, Atmospheric Technician
	Science	Research Director, Geneticist, Scientist, Roboticist
	Medical	Chief Medical Officer, Medical Doctor, Paramedic, Chemist, Coroner
	Supply	Quartermaster, Cargo Technician, Shaft Miner, Bitrunner, Cargorilla
	Service	Head of Personnel, Janitor, Bartender, Cook, Botanist, Clown, Mime, Chaplain, Curator, Assistant, Lawyer, Psychologist
	Non-human	AI, Human AI, Cyborg, Positronic Brain, Drone, Personal AI, Construct, Imaginary Friend, Split Personality, Ghost
	Antagonists	Traitor, Malfunctioning AI, Changeling, Nuclear Operative, Blood Cultist, Heretic, Spy, Revolutionary, Wizard, Blob, Abductor, Holoparasite, Xenomorph, Spider, Revenant, Morph, Nightmare, Space Ninja, Slaughter Demon, Pirate, Obsessed, Fugitives, Hunters, Space Dragon, Elite Mobs, Sentient Slime, Regal Rat, Paradox Clone, Voidwalker
	Special	CentCom Official, Death Squad Officer, Emergency Response Officer, Chrono Legionnaire, Highlander, Ian, Lavaland or Space Role, CentCom Intern

Game Modes on /tg/station
Traitor	Changeling	Nuclear Emergency	Revolution	Blood Cult	Wizard	Heretic	Other Modes