Difference between revisions of "Ian"

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(Redirect to pets page. This page heavily contradicted established lore, and needs a full rewrite if it's going to be reintroduced.)
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{{JobPageHeader
#REDIRECT [[Pets#Ian]]
|headerbgcolor = black
|headerfontcolor = white
|stafftype = NON-HUMAN
|imagebgcolor = #DDAADD
|img_generic = Corgi_Ian.png
|img = Corgi_Ian.png
|jobtitle = Ian
|access = None
|difficulty = Easy
|superior = None
|duties = Be the corgi that the station deserves.
}}
 
Welcome to the most ignored yet most bark-tacular controllable god-dog this station can offer. Ian is a Corgi that spawns in the Head of Personals office, he is commonly seen walking in circles, barking and jumping down the disposals. Ian can wear a variety of fashionable hats (which also change his name) and other various accessories.
 
=== <strike>Thug</strike> Dog Life ===
 
*Bark
 
*Pray that [[Lisa]] is mail-ordered
 
*Fuck with the HoP
 
*Slide down Disposals
 
*Beg the HoP to let you out of his office and cause chaos
 
*Wait for people to open doors so you can sneak out after them since you have no access yourself
 
== Dog Objectives ==
As a loyal superior corgi, you should always know that the people around you '''WISH''' they could be you, use this to your advantage,
 
'''Escaping <strike>prison</strike> HoPs Office'''<br>
Yap at the HoP until he either kills you or finally obeys and lets you out. Don't worry, he still loves you. Jumping into the disposals outlet also works.
 
'''Fuck around with the Crew'''<br>
You see that severely injured crewmember? He's your new bone, drag him around and see how long until you end up in the disposals ''or in the [[Kitchen]]''.
 
Also you can eat all the food chef made (you got bottomless stomach). Doing so will yield the same results the previous action does.
 
'''Be crowned Captain Ian'''<br>
Follow the Captain around, stare at his hat and hope he crowns you the stations new captain
 
'''Escape'''<br>
Arguably the hardest doggy objective known to dog-kind, getting on the escape shuttle and successfully leaving. You '''will''' most likely die.
 
== Lore ==
 
Ian is a full-grown Corgi, before Earth was turned into a wasteland by various world wars and "industrial revolutions" a small dog named "Ian" was the original founder of [[NanoTrasen]]s pet. Ian and this Founder whose name has been locked away were dear friends, once Ian was growing old and closing in on death this founder decided to have Ians genetic data recorded onto thousands of secure disks and had them stored on every single station and vessel [[NanoTrasen]] owned so every Captain and every Crew Member would get to experience the love of this Corgi. His name will live on for centuries to come.
 
== The "Original" Ian ==
 
[[File:Iancaptain.png]] ''Data shows that this was the "original" Ian, this is the only known image of Ian.''
 
{{JobsTable}}
 
[[Category: Jobs]]

Revision as of 02:25, 25 June 2017

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