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Le Shitcurity
Welcome to Le Shitcurity
Where incompetence meets refinement and chaos turns into an art form. Delve into our meticulously crafted menu that epitomizes the essence of SS13's unforgettable Shitcurity department. Please be advised, our offerings are intentionally tongue-in-cheek, and any resemblance to actual security establishments is purely coincidental.
Amuse-Bouches
| Menu Item | Description |
|---|---|
| Slippery Prelude | A dance of sliced truffles and delicate banana leaves, evoking missteps and laughter in every bite. |
| Keycard Sonata | An orchestration of keycards, each presenting a symphony of surprise. Revel in the thrill of searching for the elusive melody. |
| Espresso Rhapsody | A melodious espresso-infused concoction, with whimsical temperatures that dance upon your palate. |
Plats Principaux
| Menu Item | Description |
|---|---|
| Contraband Symphony | An opulent arrangement of forbidden delicacies artfully smuggled, teasing your senses and challenging your detective skills. |
| Interrogation Étude | A captivating composition of unconventional methods. Expect rubber ducks, dramatic monologues, and a sprinkle of good cop, bad cop. |
| La Surprise de Perma-Brig | A symphony of flavors served with silver shackles, offering an extended journey of introspection within the brig's confinements. |
Desserts
| Menu Item | Description |
|---|---|
| Jailbreak Fantasia | An enchanting finale of an ethereal sundae crowned with shards of caramelized chaos, allowing the brave to savor liberation. |
| Sec's Secret Delice | A clandestine dessert, known only to our maître d'hôtel. Its recipe a well-guarded secret, teasing palates with enigmatic allure. |
| Confiscated Confections | Gourmet cookies, intercepted from dubious characters. Sample the forbidden pleasure of illicitly acquired sweetness. |
Thank you for gracing us with your presence at Le Shitcurity. We trust that your dining experience will be an exquisite amalgamation of sophistication and humor. Our dedicated staff is here to ensure every morsel delights your palate, while the subtle undercurrent of chaos keeps you pleasantly intrigued. Bon appétit!
Ode to Ian
Ode to Ian, the Dog of the Bridge
Oh Ian, loyal hound upon the bridge, With fur as golden as the setting sun. Your presence, a beacon on the misty ridge, A steadfast companion, our hearts you've won.
Through rain and storm, you stand tall and strong, Guardian of secrets whispered in the night. Your bark echoes with a melody of song, Bringing joy and solace, a soothing light.
With eyes that gleam with wisdom untold, You watch o'er the waters, a sentinel true. Tales woven in your heart, stories unfold, As the bridge's faithful guardian, we honor you.
Oh Ian, a legend etched in the bridge's lore, Your loyalty and courage forever remain. May your paws tread the bridge forevermore, A symbol of strength against life's mighty bane.
In every passerby's heart, you're held dear, Ian, the dog of the bridge, we sing your praise. Your spirit lives on, eternal and clear, A testament to loyalty that never fades.
Oh Ian, faithful friend, forever you'll be, A cherished presence upon the bridge's span. Your name, forever etched in memory, A tribute to the bond between dog and human.