Difference between revisions of "User:Markuso"

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== Here the fun begins! ==
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     <h1 style="text-align: center; font-size: 48px; color: #8c635d; text-decoration: underline;">Welcome to Le Shitcurity</h1>
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     <p style="font-size: 20px; line-height: 1.5; text-align: justify; color: #8c635d;">Where incompetence meets refinement and chaos turns into an art form. Delve into our meticulously crafted menu that epitomizes the essence of SS13's unforgettable Shitcurity department. Please be advised, our offerings are intentionally tongue-in-cheek, and any resemblance to actual security establishments is purely coincidental.</p>
     <h1 style="text-align: center; font-size: 48px; color: #8b0000; text-decoration: underline;">Welcome to the Exquisite Shitcurity Bistro!</h1>
   
     <p style="font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.5; text-align: justify; color: #8b0000;">Where bungling is an art form and pandemonium is masterfully prepared. Delve into our carefully curated menu, a testament to the finest in shoddy security experiences. Please note that our offerings are purely for entertainment purposes (or maybe not).</p>
     <h2 style="font-size: 30px; color: #8c635d;">Amuse-Bouches</h2>
 
     <table>
     <h2 style="font-size: 36px; color: #8b0000;">Appetizers</h2>
         <tr>
     <table style="border-collapse: collapse; width: 100%;">
             <th style="width: 40%;">Menu Item</th>
         <tr style="background-color: #f5f5f5;">
             <th style="width: 60%;">Description</th>
             <th style="padding: 10px; text-align: left; border: 1px solid #8b0000;">Menu Item</th>
             <th style="padding: 10px; text-align: left; border: 1px solid #8b0000;">Description</th>
         </tr>
         </tr>
         <tr>
         <tr>
             <td style="padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #8b0000;">Slip 'n Slide Surprise</td>
             <td>Slippery Prelude</td>
             <td style="padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #8b0000;">A classic banana peel delicacy served with finesse on the floor. Experience the thrill of stumbling!</td>
             <td>A dance of sliced truffles and delicate banana leaves, evoking missteps and laughter in every bite.</td>
         </tr>
         </tr>
         <tr>
         <tr>
             <td style="padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #8b0000;">Keycard Conundrum</td>
             <td>Keycard Sonata</td>
             <td style="padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #8b0000;">An enigmatic assortment of keycards with unpredictable access levels. Embrace the challenge of unlocking chaos!</td>
             <td>An orchestration of keycards, each presenting a symphony of surprise. Revel in the thrill of searching for the elusive melody.</td>
         </tr>
         </tr>
         <tr>
         <tr>
             <td style="padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #8b0000;">Coffee Cup Calamity</td>
             <td>Espresso Rhapsody</td>
             <td style="padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #8b0000;">A tantalizing cup of coffee that's perpetually lukewarm or scalding hot, guaranteed to divert your attention from the task at hand.</td>
             <td>A melodious espresso-infused concoction, with whimsical temperatures that dance upon your palate.</td>
         </tr>
         </tr>
     </table>
     </table>


     <h2 style="font-size: 36px; color: #8b0000;">Main Courses</h2>
     <h2 style="font-size: 30px; color: #8c635d;">Plats Principaux</h2>
     <table style="border-collapse: collapse; width: 100%;">
     <table>
         <tr style="background-color: #f5f5f5;">
         <tr>
             <th style="padding: 10px; text-align: left; border: 1px solid #8b0000;">Menu Item</th>
             <th style="width: 40%;">Menu Item</th>
             <th style="padding: 10px; text-align: left; border: 1px solid #8b0000;">Description</th>
             <th style="width: 60%;">Description</th>
         </tr>
         </tr>
         <tr>
         <tr>
             <td style="padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #8b0000;">Contraband Casserole</td>
             <td>Contraband Symphony</td>
             <td style="padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #8b0000;">A delectable fusion of illicit items stealthily smuggled into the premises. Can you apprehend the masterminds behind the taste of rebellion?</td>
             <td>An opulent arrangement of forbidden delicacies artfully smuggled, teasing your senses and challenging your detective skills.</td>
         </tr>
         </tr>
         <tr>
         <tr>
             <td style="padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #8b0000;">Interrogation Platter</td>
             <td>Interrogation Étude</td>
             <td style="padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #8b0000;">A selection of interrogation techniques that teeter between absurdity and inefficiency. Unleash your inner comedic detective!</td>
             <td>A captivating composition of unconventional methods. Expect rubber ducks, dramatic monologues, and a sprinkle of good cop, bad cop.</td>
         </tr>
         </tr>
         <tr>
         <tr>
             <td style="padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #8b0000;">Perma-Brig Surprise</td>
             <td>La Surprise de Perma-Brig</td>
             <td style="padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #8b0000;">A dish that promises a permanent vacation within the brig's cozy confines. Handcuffs included for an authentic experience.</td>
             <td>A symphony of flavors served with silver shackles, offering an extended journey of introspection within the brig's confinements.</td>
         </tr>
         </tr>
     </table>
     </table>


     <h2 style="font-size: 36px; color: #8b0000;">Desserts</h2>
     <h2 style="font-size: 30px; color: #8c635d;">Desserts</h2>
     <table style="border-collapse: collapse; width: 100%;">
     <table>
         <tr style="background-color: #f5f5f5;">
         <tr>
             <th style="padding: 10px; text-align: left; border: 1px solid #8b0000;">Menu Item</th>
             <th style="width: 40%;">Menu Item</th>
             <th style="padding: 10px; text-align: left; border: 1px solid #8b0000;">Description</th>
             <th style="width: 60%;">Description</th>
         </tr>
         </tr>
         <tr>
         <tr>
             <td style="padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #8b0000;">Jailbreak Sundae</td>
             <td>Jailbreak Fantasia</td>
             <td style="padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #8b0000;">A delightful sundae adorned with slip-inducing bananas, shattered bars, and a sprinkle of chaos. Attempt an escape, if you dare!</td>
             <td>An enchanting finale of an ethereal sundae crowned with shards of caramelized chaos, allowing the brave to savor liberation.</td>
         </tr>
         </tr>
         <tr>
         <tr>
             <td style="padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #8b0000;">Sec's Special Delight</td>
             <td>Sec's Secret Delice</td>
             <td style="padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #8b0000;">A clandestine dessert crafted by our esteemed Shitcurity chef. Its recipe is so classified, even they don't know what goes into it.</td>
             <td>A clandestine dessert, known only to our maître d'hôtel. Its recipe a well-guarded secret, teasing palates with enigmatic allure.</td>
         </tr>
         </tr>
         <tr>
         <tr>
             <td style="padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #8b0000;">Confiscated Cookies</td>
             <td>Confiscated Confections</td>
             <td style="padding: 10px; border: 1px solid #8b0000;">Freshly baked cookies pilfered from dubious individuals. Indulge in the thrill of stolen treats!</td>
             <td>Gourmet cookies, intercepted from dubious characters. Sample the forbidden pleasure of illicitly acquired sweetness.</td>
         </tr>
         </tr>
     </table>
     </table>
 
   
     <p style="font-size: 24px; line-height: 1.5; text-align: justify; color: #8b0000;">Thank you for joining us at the Exquisite Shitcurity Bistro! We hope you relish the extravagant chaos we present. Remember, the security mishaps come complimentary, and the pandemonium is a feast for the senses!</p>
     <p style="font-size: 20px; line-height: 1.5; text-align: justify; color: #8c635d;">Thank you for gracing us with your presence at Le Shitcurity. We trust that your dining experience will be an exquisite amalgamation of sophistication and humor. Our dedicated staff is here to ensure every morsel delights your palate, while the subtle undercurrent of chaos keeps you pleasantly intrigued. Bon appétit!</p>
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Revision as of 15:37, 8 June 2023

Yo. This is my test page.

Welcome to Le Shitcurity

Where incompetence meets refinement and chaos turns into an art form. Delve into our meticulously crafted menu that epitomizes the essence of SS13's unforgettable Shitcurity department. Please be advised, our offerings are intentionally tongue-in-cheek, and any resemblance to actual security establishments is purely coincidental.

Amuse-Bouches

Menu Item Description
Slippery Prelude A dance of sliced truffles and delicate banana leaves, evoking missteps and laughter in every bite.
Keycard Sonata An orchestration of keycards, each presenting a symphony of surprise. Revel in the thrill of searching for the elusive melody.
Espresso Rhapsody A melodious espresso-infused concoction, with whimsical temperatures that dance upon your palate.

Plats Principaux

Menu Item Description
Contraband Symphony An opulent arrangement of forbidden delicacies artfully smuggled, teasing your senses and challenging your detective skills.
Interrogation Étude A captivating composition of unconventional methods. Expect rubber ducks, dramatic monologues, and a sprinkle of good cop, bad cop.
La Surprise de Perma-Brig A symphony of flavors served with silver shackles, offering an extended journey of introspection within the brig's confinements.

Desserts

Menu Item Description
Jailbreak Fantasia An enchanting finale of an ethereal sundae crowned with shards of caramelized chaos, allowing the brave to savor liberation.
Sec's Secret Delice A clandestine dessert, known only to our maître d'hôtel. Its recipe a well-guarded secret, teasing palates with enigmatic allure.
Confiscated Confections Gourmet cookies, intercepted from dubious characters. Sample the forbidden pleasure of illicitly acquired sweetness.

Thank you for gracing us with your presence at Le Shitcurity. We trust that your dining experience will be an exquisite amalgamation of sophistication and humor. Our dedicated staff is here to ensure every morsel delights your palate, while the subtle undercurrent of chaos keeps you pleasantly intrigued. Bon appétit!