Clown

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Clown

Superiors: Head of Personnel, The Honkmother
Difficulty: HONK (Easy-Hard)
Guides: Standard Operating Procedure
Access: Clown Office
Duties: Honk. Play pranks. Entertain the crew. Become the Security's exclusive punching bag. Pester the roboticist for a HONK mech.

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Head of Personnel •

Janitor •

Bartender •

Chef •

Botanist •

Clown •

Chaplain •

Mime •

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Guide to Drinks •

Hydroponics •

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Guide to the Library •

Service SOP

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The Clown is... Well... considered as the funny person aboard the NSS Cyberiad! Their purpose is rather easy to understand but can be hard to achieve in practice. They usually try to tell funny jokes or unique puns to lowly assistants at the bar. Another classic clownish activity is to prank crewmembers, especially security officers. To avoid reprisal such as non-consensual and repeated contacts with a baseball bat, a toolbox or a stunbaton (or the three together), they usually try to look goofy and play dumb by yelling "Honk!" which can be translated to "Officer, it’s not my fault if you walked on the banana peel I inadvertently dropped as you were coming toward me." in Galactic common.

As a Clown, your behavior revolves around the HONK, a philosophy of life that all clowns in the galaxy endeavour to spread. Try to make the Honk Mother proud of you by making the crew laugh until the end of the shift.

Your job is to have fun with people and make them enjoy their shift. Sure, you can be serious during troubles, but keep in mind that you can also try to be funny while helping the station. Slipping nuclear agents during their assault can turn the tide of the battle by leaving them at the mercy of the crew for a few seconds. You will Even if you die in the process, your efforts will inspire future generations. Crewmembers will remember you and mourn the loss of a honking good clown.

License to HONK (Required Knowledge)

Unless if you're an antagonist, just because you're a clown, doesn't mean you can be a dick when pranking other people. Ruining someone's day as a non-antag violates Rule # 1 OOCly, so there's a chance you might get robusted, jobbanned or worst.

When in doubt, ask yourself: "Are you irrevocably fucking with someone's round (killing, incapacitating, etc.)?"

If yes: don't do it. You'll probably get robusted, arrested and probably banned.

If no: you're probably fine.

Pranks

This is where the bad clowns are separated from the real ones! Pranks can range from anything from harmless honks to the head to throwing random banana peels (usually people hate you for this most of all) all over the hallways, or even spamming prayers to the Honkmother for a H.O.N.K.-mech because those assholes don't have bananium so they could make you one.

If you are really out of ideas and on the verge of being so bored that you'll soon resort to just being a dick, here's a few things a good Clown can do to entertain the crew:

• Tell bad jokes and puns nonstop
• Hold two horns (okay one can be duck) and rapidly switch hands while spamming the use key to dualhonk
• Ride wheeled chairs with fire extinguishers
• Wear cardboard suit and helmet and be a clownborg, beep boop honk
• Wear a pirate outfit and be a pirateclown, yarr scurvy (+ other outfits and roleplay)
• Bolt open the costume storage for the entire crew to use
• Build a Clown-Mart in the Vacant Office
• Insert donuts into people's pockets
• Attack Heads of Staff with the laser tag gun
• Create newsfeed channels and put out outrageous and slightly offensive accusations against people, along with photos
• Get/pretend to be a random new job, and be terrible/amazing at that job
• Write obscenities right outside the brig and get dog piled by security
• Hide photocopies of your ass around the station

Power

If the round goes on long enough, someone may be demented fun-loving enough to build to you a H.O.N.K. Mech. This mech even makes squeaky sounds when it moves instead of in addition to those awful clomping noises of other mechs. Make sure to attach the 'HoNkER BlAsT 5000' to it, for EXTREME HONKING! Honk!

Honk

Honking is how you get your work done. If you honk a honk honk then honk up the honk, well you'll have a doozy of a honk on your honk to wash off.

Equipment

You get the clown suit with matching squeeky shoes, a bike horn, clown stamp (for approving monkey crates) clown mask (which works like a gas mask), a special infinite rainbow clown crayon so you can start writing naughty words all over the escape arm or eating it like a giant honking baby, a can of laughing juice, a megaphone to be extra obnoxious, a banana, and your slippery PDA. Your PDA can infect people's PDAs with a virus that makes it randomly honk, and possibly do other things? Who knows, HONK!

Job Difficulty

Very little, but some people might want to kill you just for being the Clown. HONK!

Tips

• The clown's mask can be used for internals.
• If the clown's PDA cartridge has less than 5 charges (sendable viruses which make someone’s PDA honk every time they push a button) left, someone who isn't the clown can slip on it to restore 1 charge per slip. Have fun with that.
• Eating the rainbow crayon completely is impossible. If you're a clown and starving you can just nibble on your crayon, for infinity.
• HONK!
• Dye your clown shoes and slip them on someone, they still squeak.
• The clown's flower is basically a small spray bottle. It can be emptied and can carry 10 units of fluids and shoots exactly 1 unit at a time. So you can fire ten very small shots, and it has impressive range. It can be loaded from the pepper spray wall units and actually shoots further than the spray bottles. Since it is one unit the stun does not last long, but it is good for a guaranteed disarm if they lack eye protection.
• If somebody is chasing you and you haven't emptied your flower of water yet, you can empty it on the floor for a slip that is less obvious than a peel is One unit doesn't make a floor slippery, You can, however, STEAL borrow a spray of Plant B-gone from botany (or make one yourself from the bio-generator in the garden), Space cleaner in medbay, Also, Space Lube is the real deal when it comes to slipping, you may want to strike deals with the chemists, just remember it's against -God Forbid- Service SOP.

Antagging

Wanna be like Pennywise the Spacing Clown?

As a Traitor Clown, in addition to being funny on the light side, you're also (probably) a murderer and thief on the dark side too! So try to attempt to make people funny, while suddenly you pull out your E-Sword and make the target dead as good as you want it, then slip the police as they chase you and throw them out of the airlock as you see the officer screams, without you hearing it! Remember that the possibilities of being a Traitor Clown are quite endless. So go grab yourself a banana peel and HONK (read: do traitor stuff) as you wish!

Besides all of the above, the Syndicate also trained you to use weapons more properly, instead of shooting right directly at your foot. Plus, you also have a traitor-exclusive item: The Banana Grenade, a super effective weapon against determined Security Officers (who are chasing you) and a lot of victims who are ready to be slipped!