Difference between revisions of "Clown"

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{{Needsrevision
|reason = Needs more examples of being a good clown}}
{{JobPageHeader
{{JobPageHeader
|colour = C66B2D
|colour = 30A055
|hcolour = white
|hcolour = white
|stafftype = SERVICE
|stafftype = SERVICE
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|jobtitle = Clown
|jobtitle = Clown
|access = Clown Office
|access = Clown Office
|difficulty = HONK (Easy-Hard)
|difficulty = Easy to just be an ass, Hard to be funny.
|superior = [[Head of Personnel]], The Honkmother
|superior = [[Head of Personnel]], The Honkmother
|duties = Honk. Play pranks. Entertain the crew. Become the Security's exclusive punching bag. Pester the roboticist for a HONK mech.
|duties = Honk. Play pranks. Entertain the crew. Become the Security's exclusive punching bag. Pester the roboticist for a HONK mech.
|guides = [[Standard Operating Procedure (Service)#Clown|Standard Operating Procedure]]  
|guides = [[Standard Operating Procedure (Service)#Clown|Standard Operating Procedure]]  
}}
}}<div style="float: right;">{{JobService}}</div>
{{JobService}}


The '''Clown''' is the funny person aboard the NSS Cyberiad!They usually tell funny jokes or unique puns to  entertain the crew, either in person or over the radio. Another classic Clown tradition is pranking crewmembers, but if your prank is more annoying than funny, this is often paid in kind with repeated, non-consensual hits to the head with a stunbaton.
The '''Clown''' is the funny person aboard the station! They usually tell funny jokes or unique puns to  entertain the crew, either in person or over the radio. Another classic Clown tradition is pranking crewmembers, but if your prank is more annoying than funny, this is often paid in kind with repeated, non-consensual hits to the head with a stunbaton.


As a Clown, your behavior revolves around the '''HONK''', a philosophy of life that all clowns in the galaxy endeavor to spread. Try to make the Honk Mother proud of you by making the crew laugh until the end of the shift. Being genuinely funny can be tricky. Try to come up with a way to actually entertain the crew and they will appreciate you for the effort.
As a Clown, your behaviour revolves around the '''HONK''', a philosophy of life that all clowns in the galaxy endeavor to spread. Try to make the Honk Mother proud of you by making the crew laugh until the end of the shift. Being genuinely funny can be tricky. Try to come up with a way to actually entertain the crew and they will appreciate you for the effort.


Your responsibility is to have fun with people and make them enjoy their shift. You should be serious during troubles, but keep in mind that you can also try to be funny while being a benefit to the [[NSS Cyberiad|station]]. Slipping [[Nuclear Agent|nuclear agents]] during their assault can turn the tide of the battle by leaving them at the mercy of the crew for a few seconds. Even if you die in the process, your efforts will inspire future generations. Crewmembers will remember you and mourn the loss of a honking good clown.
Your responsibility is to have fun with people and make them enjoy their shift. You should be serious during troubles, but keep in mind that you can also try to be funny while being a benefit to the [[NSS Cyberiad|station]]. Slipping [[Nuclear Agent|nuclear agents]] during their assault can turn the tide of the battle by leaving them at the mercy of the crew for a few seconds. Even if you die in the process, your efforts will inspire future generations. Crewmembers will remember you and mourn the loss of a honking good clown.


== License to HONK (Required Knowledge)==
== License to HONK (Required Knowledge)==
<b><i>Being a Clown doesn't give you the right to be a dick when pranking other people.</i></b> Ruining someone's day as a non-antag violates [https://www.paradisestation.org/rules/ Rule # 7] OOCly, so there's a chance you might get jobbanned from being a Clown in future, or outright banned entirely.
'''''Being a Clown doesn't give you the right to be a dick when pranking other people.''''' Ruining someone's day as a non-antag violates [https://www.paradisestation.org/rules/ Rule # 7] OOCly, so there's a chance you might get jobbanned from being a Clown in future, or outright banned entirely.


When in doubt, ask yourself: "Are you irrevocably fucking with someone's round (killing, incapacitating, etc.)?"
When in doubt, ask yourself: "Are you irrevocably fucking with someone's round (killing, incapacitating, etc.)?"
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'''If no: you're probably fine''', but if you have an elaborate scheme in mind that might need additional approval - talk to the admins.
'''If no: you're probably fine''', but if you have an elaborate scheme in mind that might need additional approval - talk to the admins.


== Being a good Clown ==
Being a good clown is hard. Actually telling good jokes and being genuinely funny is something people have trouble with in real life. It's going to be even harder in a computer game, but if you try hard, you can do it! The golden rules for clowns are "You can joke about anything, but it has to be funny." Which means, if you're joke is more bad than good, more annoying than funny, more enraging than hilarious, it's not a good joke. It should always be more funny than annoying, not the other way around. Here are some examples of what you should do if you want to be a good clown.


== [[File:banana_peel.png]] Pranking and Gear ==
* Be unique. Stand out from the rest of the pack by having a unique style, a specific subject of jokes or a specific goal for the shift. Have a good name that people will remember.
 
* Write your own jokes that are actually funny. It's hard to write jokes in general. Some joke topics on the station could be racial features, department prejudice, Nanotrasen work policy, etc. By making jokes related to what people do, it will be easier for them to smile.
Pranking others is where the [[The_Griffin|bad clowns]] are separated from the real ones! Pranks can range from anything from harmless honks to the head to throwing random banana peels all over the hallways and being a general - but most importantly, harmless - nuisance.
* Deliver the joke in a professional manner. Writing a joke is one part. Now you got to tell it to people. Make sure they have time to listen and aren't busy doing something else.
 
* Do pranks that are actually funny. Make sure the prank is adapted to the target of the prank. Breaking into someone's office and taking a picture isn't a prank. Breaking into someone's office and filling it with the owner's least favorite food is a prank.
If you are really out of ideas and on the verge of being so bored that you'll soon resort to just being a dick, here's a few things a good Clown can do to entertain the crew:
* Do scavenger hunts, competitions and hold games. Get people to partake in some sort of silly contest. Scavenger hunts means you hide a interesting or unique item somewhere on the station and give out clues from time to time. Competitions and games could be: "Clown toss" "Catch the clown" "Write the best joke" "Theme costume contest" are just a few to get your ideas going.
* Tell bad jokes and puns nonstop
* Do a stand up show. So you got some jokes and you got some laughs. Take it to the next level. Prepare a funny script (actually funny). Get someone to build a stage or do it yourself. Announce your amazing stand-up show to make sure people attend. Perform.
* Dual-wield horns (or one horn, one duck) and rapidly switch hands while spamming the use key to dualhonk
* Improvise! See someone with an interesting name? Make a joke about it. Did something funny happen in front of you? Deliver a well worded zinger to make people laugh. This should be done in measure. If you can't come up with a GOOD line then don't say anything.
* Ride wheelchairs with fire extinguishers - time it to slam into a closing door for additional crew amusement
* Keep the bad jokes to yourself. You should be remembered for your good jokes, not be forgotten for your bad ones. If you can't think of a good joke, just be quiet. It's better to deliver one good joke than ten bad ones.
* Wear cardboard suit and helmet and be a clownborg, beep boop honk
* Make a funny newsfeed. If you're actually funny and can deliver witty jokes in a writing style, the newscaster might be the place for your funnies. Make sure to announce it so people read it or print it out and hand the newspaper to people.
* Dress up in fun costumes! Who says you have to look like a creepy, overweight serial killer the entire shift?
* Order absurd or disturbing things for the crew under the guise of running an errand for them
* Build a Clown-Mart in the [[Vacant Office]]
* Create funky bases in the maintenance tunnels
* Insert donuts into people's pockets
* Attack Heads of Staff with the laser tag gun
* Create newsfeed channels and put out outrageous and slightly offensive accusations against people, along with photos
* Get/pretend to be a random new job, and be terrible/amazing at that job (so long as it doesn't get in the way of people actually working)
* Write obscenities right outside the [[Security|Brig]] and watch the [[Internal Affairs|paperwork]] [[Magistrate|monkeys]] froth at the mouth
* Hide photocopies of your ass around the station
* Decorate the station!
 
 
=== [[File:clownmask.png]] Equipment ===


== Equipment [[File:clownmask.png]] ==
As a female clown, you join or start your shift wearing a [[File:sexyclown.png|32px]] sexy clown mask and a [[File:sexyclownsuit.png|32px]] sexy clown suit.
As a female clown, you join or start your shift wearing a [[File:sexyclown.png|32px]] sexy clown mask and a [[File:sexyclownsuit.png|32px]] sexy clown suit.


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Both genders join or start the shift wearing the [[File:shoesclown.png|32px]] clown shoes.
Both genders join or start the shift wearing the [[File:shoesclown.png|32px]] clown shoes.


Regardless of gender and whether you start in your office or you hop onto the station as a late joiner, you spawn with your trusty [[file:clownpack.png|32px]] Giggles Von Honkerton; a backpack <strike>horrifically</strike> designed to match your <strike>awful, awful</strike> wonderful fashion sense.  
Regardless of gender and whether you start in your office or you hop onto the station as a late joiner, you spawn with your trusty [[file:clownpack.png|32px]] Giggles Von Honkerton; a backpack <s>horrifically</s> designed to match your <s>awful, awful</s> wonderful fashion sense.  


By default, Giggles contains:
By default, Giggles contains:


* [[file:box_civ.png|32px]] Your standard emergency supply box
* [[file:Box Oxygen.png|32px]] Your standard emergency supply box.
* [[file:banana.png|32px]] A banana. A good source of potassium, and weapon of mass destruction
* [[file:banana.png|32px]] A banana. A good source of potassium, and weapon of mass destruction.
* [[file:stamp-clown.png|32px]] Your rubber stamp. Use it on paper or people to make your mark
* [[file:stamp-clown.png|32px]] Your rubber stamp. Use it on paper or people to make your mark.
* [[file:crayonbox-full.png|32px]] A box of colored crayons.
* [[file:crayonbox-full.png|32px]] A box of colored crayons.
* [[file:jollyjug.png|32px]] Your jolly jug! Holds 100 units of banana juice
* [[file:jollyjug.png|32px]] Your jolly jug! Holds 100 units of banana juice, which heals clowns!
* [[file:gildedhorn.png|32px]] A gilded bike horn. Works like any other instrument
* [[file:gildedhorn.png|32px]] A gilded bike horn. Works like any other instrument.
* [[file:Sunflower.png|32px]] A water flower
* [[file:Sunflower.png|32px]] A water flower.
* [[file:crayon-rainbow.png|32px]] A rainbow crayon! Smells like candy!
* [[file:crayon-rainbow.png|32px]] A rainbow crayon! Smells like candy! Tastes like crayon!
 
=== [[File:HONK_MECH.png|64px]] Unlimited Power ===


If the stars align, [[Roboticist|someone]] may be <strike>demented</strike> fun-loving enough to build to you a H.O.N.K. Mech. This behemoth even makes squeaky sounds when it moves, in addition to the awful clomping noises of other mechs. Make sure to install the 'HoNkER BlAsT 5000' for '''EXTREME HONKING!'''  
== Unlimited Power [[File:HONK_MECH.png|64px]] ==
If the stars align, [[Roboticist|someone]] may be fun-loving enough to build to you a H.O.N.K. Mech. This behemoth even makes squeaky sounds when it moves, in addition to the awful clomping noises of other mechs. Make sure to install the 'HoNkER BlAsT 5000' for '''EXTREME HONKING!'''  
Just keep in mind that Security will very likely jump the gun and blast your fun to pieces with an ion rifle or EMP grenade if you abuse your gift too much.
Just keep in mind that Security will very likely jump the gun and blast your fun to pieces with an ion rifle or EMP grenade if you abuse your gift too much.


 
== Tips [[File:HonkHorn.png|32px]] ==
==[[File:HonkHorn.png|32px]] Tips [[File:HonkHorn.png|32px]] ==
* The clown mask can be used for internals.
* The clown mask can be used for internals.
* If your PDA cartridge (sends a virus that makes your target's PDA honk) has less than 5 charges left, make somebody slip on it to restore 1 charge per slip. Have fun with that.
* If your PDA cartridge (sends a virus that makes your target's PDA honk) has less than 5 charges left, make somebody slip on it to restore 1 charge per slip. Have fun with that.
* The rainbow crayon never ends. If you're a clown and starving you can just nibble on your crayon, infinitely.
* [http://aberrantkenosis.bandcamp.com/album/the-bike-horn-collection-volume-1 Required listening for any clown!]
* Don't like the look of your clown shoes, or want to subtly mess with someone else? Put them in a washing machine with a crayon - they'll look like normal shoes, but act like yours.
* The clown's flower is basically a small spray bottle. It can be emptied and can carry 10 units of fluids and shoots exactly 1 unit at a time at a surprising range (3 tiles). Make of that what you will.  
* The clown's flower is basically a small spray bottle. It can be emptied and can carry 10 units of fluids and shoots exactly 1 unit at a time at a surprising range (3 tiles). Make of that what you will.  
* If you want to slip people at terminal velocity, Space Lube is your best friend. You can nag a Chemist or Scientist for some, but don't be surprised if you get beaten to death by the entire crew for your actions.
* If you want to slip people at terminal velocity, Space Lube is your best friend. You can nag a Chemist or Scientist for some, but don't be surprised if you get beaten to death by the entire crew for your actions.


== [[File:SyndicateBalloon.png]] Antagging ==
== Why So Serious? [[File:SyndicateBalloon.png]] ==
We all float down here, Georgie.
We all float down here, Georgie.


Given your status amongst the crew as a nuisance to be avoided or ignored entirely, you have one of the best covers for your [[Changeling|nefarious]] [[Traitor|deeds]]. Nobody will care where you are or what you're doing, so long as you keep out of reach of Security, meaning you can fulfill your objectives without needing to worry about responsibilities on the station.
Given your status amongst the crew as a nuisance to be avoided or ignored entirely, you have one of the best covers for your [[Changeling|nefarious]] [[Traitor|deeds]]. Nobody will care where you are or what you're doing, so long as you keep out of reach of Security, meaning you can fulfill your objectives without needing to worry about responsibilities on the station. Many spacemen have been "harmlessly" slipped only to then be diced with an energy sword. Honk.
 
With that in mind, you also have one very special tool in your arsenal: the [[Syndicate Items#Clown|Banana Grenade]], a non-lethal but absolutely chaotic weapon of choice for any clown that wants to make a ''slick'' getaway. The [[Syndicate Items#Clown|Trick Revolver]] can be used to, well, trick people into shooting themselves - this works especially well combined with the actual revolver, but make sure not to confuse the two. Although that in itself would be funny.


With that in mind, you also have one very special tool in your arsenal: the [[Syndicate Items#Clown|Banana Grenade]], a non-lethal but absolutely chaotic weapon of choice for any clown that wants to make a <i>slick</i> getaway.
Antag clowns can disable their clumsiness at will, allowing them to fight without risk of accidentally shooting or cuffing themselves.


{| class="wikitable"
<div style="box-shadow: 0 0 .3em #999; border-radius: .2em; margin: margin: 1em 0 1em 0; padding: 1px; margin-top: 2em;">
! colspan="2" style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic; background-color:#aaffaa;" | [[Roles|The Honk List]]
<div style="background: #D1D1D1; border-radius: .2em; color: {{{textcolour|#FFF}}}; padding: .4em .4em .4em; font-size: 1.2em; line-height:1.2em;"><center>'''[[Roles|The Honk List]]'''</center></div>
{|
|style = "width:15%;"|
|-
|-
| style="font-weight: bold; color: white; background-color: #127BB7;" | Skippers
| <div style="text-align:center; font-weight: bold; background:#127BB7; color:#FFFFFF; border-radius:.4em;">Skippers</div>
| [[Captain|Comdom-in-Chief]] • [[Head of Personnel|Mr. All-Access]] • [[Head of Security|Head of No-Fun]] • [[Chief Engineer|Leader of Yellow Gloves]] • [[Research Director|Nerdo Supreme]] • [[Chief Medical Officer|Mr. Sawbones' Wild Ride]]
| [[Captain|Comdom-in-Chief]] • [[Head of Personnel|Mr. All-Access]] • [[Head of Security|Head of No-Fun]] • [[Chief Engineer|Leader of Yellow Gloves]] • [[Research Director|Nerdo Supreme]] • [[Chief Medical Officer|Mr. Sawbones' Wild Ride]] • [[Quartermaster|The Wrangler]]  
|-
|-
| style="font-weight: bold; color: white; background-color: #88B1EF;" | Audience VIPs
| <div style="text-align:center; font-weight: bold; background:#88B1EF; color:#FFFFFF; border-radius:.4em;">Audience VIPs</div>
| [[Nanotrasen Representative|Paper Bin]]  • [[Blueshield Officer|Goose Chaser]]
| [[Nanotrasen Representative|Paper Bin]]  • [[Blueshield Officer|Goose Chaser]]
|-
|-
| style="font-weight: bold; color: white; background-color: #AD1818;" | (Il)Legal
| <div style="text-align:center; font-weight: bold; background:#BA2CA2; color:#FFFFFF; border-radius:.4em;">Illegal</div>
| [[Internal Affairs|Complaint Box]] • [[Magistrate|<s>Cool</s> Dumb Wig]]
| [[Internal Affairs|Complaint Box]] • [[Magistrate|<s>Cool</s> Dumb Wig]]
|-
|-
| style="font-weight: bold; color: white; background-color: #BA5656;" | Fun Police
| <div style="text-align:center; font-weight: bold; background:#AD1818; color:#FFFFFF; border-radius:.4em;">Fun Police</div>
| [[Warden|Abuses-His-Gloves]] • [[Security Officer|Redtider Goon]] • [[Security Pod Pilot|DANGER ZONE]] • [[Detective|Needs a Laugh]]  • [[Brig Physician|Prolongs Torture]]
| [[Warden|Abuses-His-Gloves]] • [[Security Officer|Redtider Goon]] • [[Detective|Needs a Laugh]]  
|-
|-
| style="font-weight: bold; color: white; background-color: #FF9D00;" | Yellow Glove Tribals
| <div style="text-align:center; font-weight: bold; background:#FF9D00; color:#FFFFFF; border-radius:.4em;">Yellow Glove Tribals</div>
| [[Station Engineer|Glove Dispenser]] • [[Mechanic|Space Pod To-Go!]] • [[Atmospheric Technician|Insane Axe-wielder]]
| [[Station Engineer|Glove Dispenser]] • [[Atmospheric Technician|Insane Axe-wielder]]
|-
|-
| style="font-weight: bold; color: white; background-color: #2A9633;" |The Barnyard
| <div style="text-align:center; font-weight: bold; background:#63A7CC; color:#FFFFFF; border-radius:.4em;">The Barnyard</div>
| [[Medical Doctor|Quack]] • [[Paramedic|Taxi Man]] • [[Chemist|The Lube Source]] • [[Geneticist|GIB HALK PLZ?!]] • [[Virologist|Pierrot's Throat]] • [[Psychologist|LEAVE ME ALONE]] • [[Coroner|Funny Guy]]
| [[Medical Doctor|Quack]] • [[Paramedic|Taxi Man]] • [[Chemist|The Lube Source]] • [[Geneticist|GIB HALK PLZ?!]] • [[Virologist|Pierrot's Throat]] • [[Psychologist|LEAVE ME ALONE]] • [[Coroner|Funny Guy]]
|-
|-
| style="font-weight: bold; color: white; background-color: #BBA0DD;" | The Gaping Hole in the station
| <div style="text-align:center; font-weight: bold; background:#B17FE0; color:#FFFFFF; border-radius:.4em;">The Gaping Hole in the station</div>
| [[Scientist|Nerd]] • [[Roboticist|TOBE YO GUNDAMU]]  
| [[Scientist|Nerd]] • [[Roboticist|TOBE YO GUNDAMU]]  
|-
|-
| style="font-weight: bold; color: white; background-color: #E0BE00;" | Hats and Guns
| <div style="text-align:center; font-weight: bold; background:#A0743E; color:#FFFFFF; border-radius:.4em;">Hats and Guns</div>
| [[Quartermaster|The Wrangler]] • [[Cargo Technician|Ministry of Funny Hats]] • [[Shaft Miner|Bringers of Bananium]]
| [[Cargo Technician|Ministry of Funny Hats]] • [[Shaft Miner|Bringers of Bananium]] • [[Explorer|Morgue Filler]]
|-
|-
| style="font-weight: bold; color: white; background-color: #C66B2D;" | Dysfunctional In-laws
| <div style="text-align:center; font-weight: bold; background:#30A055; color:#FFFFFF; border-radius:.4em;">Dysfunctional In-laws</div>
| [[Janitor|Enabler]] • [[Chef|Knife]] • [[Bartender|Gun]] • [[Botanist|Passes Peels]] • [[Barber|Free Razor]] • [[Clown|Son of Honk Mother]] • [[Mime|The Greatest Enemy, or Best Frienemy]] • [[Chaplain|Honk Mother Communer]] • [[Librarian|GET OUT!]]
| [[Janitor|Enabler]] • [[Chef|Knife]] • [[Bartender|Gun]] • [[Botanist|Passes Peels]] • '''Son of Honk Mother''' • [[Mime|The Greatest Enemy, or Best Frienemy]] • [[Chaplain|Honk Mother Communer]] • [[Librarian|GET OUT!]]  
|-
|-
| style="font-weight: bold; color: white; background-color: #777777;" | The Gang
| <div style="text-align:center; font-weight: bold; background:#777777; color:#FFFFFF; border-radius:.4em;">The Gang</div>
| [[Civilian|Hobos]] • [[Ghost|Salt Shakers from The Veil]] • [[Animal|<s>Cheese</s> Cannon Fodder]] • [[Golem|Stone Cold]]
| [[Civilian|Hobos]] • [[Ghost|Salt Shakers from Beyond The Veil]] • [[Derelict Researcher|Grandpa]] • [[Animal|<s>Cheese</s> Cannon Fodder]] • [[Golem|Stone Cold]]
|-
|-
| style="font-weight: bold; color: white; background-color: #5589C5;" | Enablers
| <div style="text-align:center; font-weight: bold; background:#5589C5; color:#FFFFFF; border-radius:.4em;">Enablers</div>
| [[AI|Doorknob]] • [[Cyborg|Needs Honk Module]] • [[Personal AI|Talk-Box]]
| [[AI|Doorknob]] • [[Cyborg|Needs Honk Module]] • [[Maintenance Drone|Roomba]] • [[Personal AI|Talk-Box]]
|-
|-
| style="font-weight: bold; color: red; background-color: black;" | The Critics
| <div style="text-align:center; font-weight: bold; background:#000000; color:red; border-radius:.4em; height:3.5em;"><div style="transform: translate(.2em,.9em);>The Critics</div></div>
| [[Traitor|Slips]] • [[Guardian|Best Friend]] • [[Changeling|DNA Gourmet]] • [[Nuclear Agent|Still Slips]] • [[Xenomorph|Party Poppers]] • [[Wizard|Wiznerd]] • [[Cultist|Emos]] • [[Construct|Flying Bricks]] • [[Shadowling|Basement Dweller]] • [[Vampire|Dislikes Banana Juice]] • [[Vox Raider|Birdbrains]] • [[Cortical Borer|Free Fliptonium]] • [[Revenant|IPC Fireworks]] • [[Blob|The Meat Grinder]] • [[SIT|Nuke Inspectors]] • [[Terror Spider|8-Legged Yikes]] • [[Abductors|Ayylmaos]] • [[Swarmer|Statue Defilers]]
| [[Abductors|Ayylmaos]] • [[Ash Walker|UNGA!]] • [[Blob|The Meat Grinder]] • [[Changeling|DNA Gourmet]] • [[Construct|Flying Bricks]] • [[Contractor|Travel Agent]] • [[Cultist|Emos]] • [[Guardian|Best Friend]] • [[Lavaland Elite|Wannabe]] • [[Mindflayer|Ion Rifle's BFF]] • [[Morph|Fatty]] • [[Nuclear Agent|Nuke Inspectors]] • [[Revenant|IPC Fireworks]] • [[Revolution|VIVA]] • [[Shadow Demon|Basement Dweller]] • [[Slaughter Demon|RIP AND TEAR]] • [[SIT|Pizza Delivery]] • [[Syndicate Researcher|Monkey Torturer]] • [[Terror Spider|8-Legged Yikes]] • [[Traitor|Tater Tot]] • [[Vampire|BLAH BLAH BLAH!]] • [[Xenomorph|Party Poppers]] • [[Wizard|Wiznerd]] • [[Zombie|Adoring Fans]]
|-
|-
| style="font-weight: bold; color: white; background-color: #464489;" | "Special"
|<div style="text-align:center; font-weight: bold; background:#454394; color:#FFFFFF; border-radius:.4em;">"Special"</div>
| [[Central Command Officer|Greater Comdoms]] • [[Emergency Response Team|The Untalented Troupe]] • [[Honk Squad|Brethren Goofs]] • [[Super Heroes|Cosplayers]]  
| [[Central Command Officer|Greater Comdoms]] • [[Death squad|Cleanup Crew]] • [[Emergency Response Team|The Untalented Troupe]] • [[Highlander|Skirt Wearer]] • [[Traders|Fun Bringers]] • [[Space Ninja|Weeaboo]] • [[Honk Squad|Brethren Goofs]] • [[Super Heroes|Cosplayers]] • [[Cluwne|Lost but not forgotten]]
|}
|}
 
</div>
[[Category: Jobs]]
[[Category:Jobs]]

Latest revision as of 00:50, 5 November 2024

SERVICE

Generic clown.png
Clown

Superiors: Head of Personnel, The Honkmother
Difficulty: Easy to just be an ass, Hard to be funny.
Guides: Standard Operating Procedure
Access: Clown Office
Duties: Honk. Play pranks. Entertain the crew. Become the Security's exclusive punching bag. Pester the roboticist for a HONK mech.

Service Department

The Clown is the funny person aboard the station! They usually tell funny jokes or unique puns to entertain the crew, either in person or over the radio. Another classic Clown tradition is pranking crewmembers, but if your prank is more annoying than funny, this is often paid in kind with repeated, non-consensual hits to the head with a stunbaton.

As a Clown, your behaviour revolves around the HONK, a philosophy of life that all clowns in the galaxy endeavor to spread. Try to make the Honk Mother proud of you by making the crew laugh until the end of the shift. Being genuinely funny can be tricky. Try to come up with a way to actually entertain the crew and they will appreciate you for the effort.

Your responsibility is to have fun with people and make them enjoy their shift. You should be serious during troubles, but keep in mind that you can also try to be funny while being a benefit to the station. Slipping nuclear agents during their assault can turn the tide of the battle by leaving them at the mercy of the crew for a few seconds. Even if you die in the process, your efforts will inspire future generations. Crewmembers will remember you and mourn the loss of a honking good clown.

License to HONK (Required Knowledge)

Being a Clown doesn't give you the right to be a dick when pranking other people. Ruining someone's day as a non-antag violates Rule # 7 OOCly, so there's a chance you might get jobbanned from being a Clown in future, or outright banned entirely.

When in doubt, ask yourself: "Are you irrevocably fucking with someone's round (killing, incapacitating, etc.)?"

If yes: don't do it. You'll probably get robusted, arrested and very likely banned.

If no: you're probably fine, but if you have an elaborate scheme in mind that might need additional approval - talk to the admins.

Being a good Clown

Being a good clown is hard. Actually telling good jokes and being genuinely funny is something people have trouble with in real life. It's going to be even harder in a computer game, but if you try hard, you can do it! The golden rules for clowns are "You can joke about anything, but it has to be funny." Which means, if you're joke is more bad than good, more annoying than funny, more enraging than hilarious, it's not a good joke. It should always be more funny than annoying, not the other way around. Here are some examples of what you should do if you want to be a good clown.

  • Be unique. Stand out from the rest of the pack by having a unique style, a specific subject of jokes or a specific goal for the shift. Have a good name that people will remember.
  • Write your own jokes that are actually funny. It's hard to write jokes in general. Some joke topics on the station could be racial features, department prejudice, Nanotrasen work policy, etc. By making jokes related to what people do, it will be easier for them to smile.
  • Deliver the joke in a professional manner. Writing a joke is one part. Now you got to tell it to people. Make sure they have time to listen and aren't busy doing something else.
  • Do pranks that are actually funny. Make sure the prank is adapted to the target of the prank. Breaking into someone's office and taking a picture isn't a prank. Breaking into someone's office and filling it with the owner's least favorite food is a prank.
  • Do scavenger hunts, competitions and hold games. Get people to partake in some sort of silly contest. Scavenger hunts means you hide a interesting or unique item somewhere on the station and give out clues from time to time. Competitions and games could be: "Clown toss" "Catch the clown" "Write the best joke" "Theme costume contest" are just a few to get your ideas going.
  • Do a stand up show. So you got some jokes and you got some laughs. Take it to the next level. Prepare a funny script (actually funny). Get someone to build a stage or do it yourself. Announce your amazing stand-up show to make sure people attend. Perform.
  • Improvise! See someone with an interesting name? Make a joke about it. Did something funny happen in front of you? Deliver a well worded zinger to make people laugh. This should be done in measure. If you can't come up with a GOOD line then don't say anything.
  • Keep the bad jokes to yourself. You should be remembered for your good jokes, not be forgotten for your bad ones. If you can't think of a good joke, just be quiet. It's better to deliver one good joke than ten bad ones.
  • Make a funny newsfeed. If you're actually funny and can deliver witty jokes in a writing style, the newscaster might be the place for your funnies. Make sure to announce it so people read it or print it out and hand the newspaper to people.

Equipment Clownmask.png

As a female clown, you join or start your shift wearing a Sexyclown.png sexy clown mask and a Sexyclownsuit.png sexy clown suit.

As a male clown, you join or start your shift wearing the classic Clownmask.png mask and Clownsuit.png suit.

Both genders join or start the shift wearing the Shoesclown.png clown shoes.

Regardless of gender and whether you start in your office or you hop onto the station as a late joiner, you spawn with your trusty Clownpack.png Giggles Von Honkerton; a backpack horrifically designed to match your awful, awful wonderful fashion sense.

By default, Giggles contains:

  • Box Oxygen.png Your standard emergency supply box.
  • Banana.png A banana. A good source of potassium, and weapon of mass destruction.
  • Stamp-clown.png Your rubber stamp. Use it on paper or people to make your mark.
  • Crayonbox-full.png A box of colored crayons.
  • Jollyjug.png Your jolly jug! Holds 100 units of banana juice, which heals clowns!
  • Gildedhorn.png A gilded bike horn. Works like any other instrument.
  • Sunflower.png A water flower.
  • Crayon-rainbow.png A rainbow crayon! Smells like candy! Tastes like crayon!

Unlimited Power HONK MECH.png

If the stars align, someone may be fun-loving enough to build to you a H.O.N.K. Mech. This behemoth even makes squeaky sounds when it moves, in addition to the awful clomping noises of other mechs. Make sure to install the 'HoNkER BlAsT 5000' for EXTREME HONKING! Just keep in mind that Security will very likely jump the gun and blast your fun to pieces with an ion rifle or EMP grenade if you abuse your gift too much.

Tips HonkHorn.png

  • The clown mask can be used for internals.
  • If your PDA cartridge (sends a virus that makes your target's PDA honk) has less than 5 charges left, make somebody slip on it to restore 1 charge per slip. Have fun with that.
  • The clown's flower is basically a small spray bottle. It can be emptied and can carry 10 units of fluids and shoots exactly 1 unit at a time at a surprising range (3 tiles). Make of that what you will.
  • If you want to slip people at terminal velocity, Space Lube is your best friend. You can nag a Chemist or Scientist for some, but don't be surprised if you get beaten to death by the entire crew for your actions.

Why So Serious? SyndicateBalloon.png

We all float down here, Georgie.

Given your status amongst the crew as a nuisance to be avoided or ignored entirely, you have one of the best covers for your nefarious deeds. Nobody will care where you are or what you're doing, so long as you keep out of reach of Security, meaning you can fulfill your objectives without needing to worry about responsibilities on the station. Many spacemen have been "harmlessly" slipped only to then be diced with an energy sword. Honk.

With that in mind, you also have one very special tool in your arsenal: the Banana Grenade, a non-lethal but absolutely chaotic weapon of choice for any clown that wants to make a slick getaway. The Trick Revolver can be used to, well, trick people into shooting themselves - this works especially well combined with the actual revolver, but make sure not to confuse the two. Although that in itself would be funny.

Antag clowns can disable their clumsiness at will, allowing them to fight without risk of accidentally shooting or cuffing themselves.

Skippers
 Comdom-in-Chief • Mr. All-Access • Head of No-Fun • Leader of Yellow Gloves • Nerdo Supreme • Mr. Sawbones' Wild Ride • The Wrangler
Audience VIPs
 Paper Bin • Goose Chaser
Illegal
 Complaint Box • Cool Dumb Wig
Fun Police
 Abuses-His-Gloves • Redtider Goon • Needs a Laugh
Yellow Glove Tribals
 Glove Dispenser • Insane Axe-wielder
The Barnyard
 Quack • Taxi Man • The Lube Source • GIB HALK PLZ?! • Pierrot's Throat • LEAVE ME ALONE • Funny Guy
The Gaping Hole in the station
 Nerd • TOBE YO GUNDAMU
Hats and Guns
 Ministry of Funny Hats • Bringers of Bananium • Morgue Filler
Dysfunctional In-laws
 Enabler • Knife • Gun • Passes Peels • Son of Honk Mother • The Greatest Enemy, or Best Frienemy • Honk Mother Communer • GET OUT!
The Gang
 Hobos • Salt Shakers from Beyond The Veil • Grandpa • Cheese Cannon Fodder • Stone Cold
Enablers
 Doorknob • Needs Honk Module • Roomba • Talk-Box
The Critics
 Ayylmaos • UNGA! • The Meat Grinder • DNA Gourmet • Flying Bricks • Travel Agent • Emos • Best Friend • Wannabe • Ion Rifle's BFF • Fatty • Nuke Inspectors • IPC Fireworks • VIVA • Basement Dweller • RIP AND TEAR • Pizza Delivery • Monkey Torturer • 8-Legged Yikes • Tater Tot • BLAH BLAH BLAH! • Party Poppers • Wiznerd • Adoring Fans
"Special"
 Greater Comdoms • Cleanup Crew • The Untalented Troupe • Skirt Wearer • Fun Bringers • Weeaboo • Brethren Goofs • Cosplayers • Lost but not forgotten
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